Forums > Social Chat > French raise security levels :)
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Location: Edinburgh
As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance".
It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert:
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".
The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666
IMPORTANT: Any views or opinions are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of a sane person.
"just get the f**k on with it and make me the anti-christ already!"
addict
475 posts
Location: Van Diemans Land, Australia
clever
Fair luna bright, fair luna moon
it shines at night but fades too soon
fair luna moon, fair luna bright
forever we dance
we dance under starlight
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
*puts epaulettes and stars on her labcoat*
*loudly sings "Erika"*
*thinks once again that it's hilarious to have a loud marching song that's all but shouted about a pretty little flower*
*looks at Ben disdainfully, even though that alarm level has been called out, and checks the security devices in her flat*
though I have to say that Dubya doesn't usually beg Britain for help, Tony Blair's quicker to beg to be allowed to help
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
*smirks uncontrollably*
I'm glad people can still poke some harmless fun about government's responses to terrorism!
After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
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I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
right... good one
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
I love it when people write these things!!
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
I'm sorry, US begging Brits for help?
We were over there fighting against the silly germans for you limey lot!
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
Lets not get started on this again Doc
The US were simply delaying the inevitable
Zauberdachs: Thats really good
....of doom!
585 posts
Location: Hastings, UK
although it looks familiar....is it a rewrite of stuff thats been hanging around for a long time? never mind...funnyfunny 199 posts
Location: Edinburgh
I didn't make this up, unfortunately, one of my mates posted it to me... But it is funny, look it has all the European sterotypes and everything...
:):):)oh yeah, cheers for partying last weekend Birgit! Did you and Mr Bird have fun?
IMPORTANT: Any views or opinions are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of a sane person.
"just get the f**k on with it and make me the anti-christ already!"
199 posts
Location: Edinburgh
I didn't make this up, unfortunately, one of my mates posted it to me... But it is funny, look it has all the European sterotypes and everything...
:):):)oh yeah, cheers for partying last weekend Birgit! Did you and Mr Bird have fun?
IMPORTANT: Any views or opinions are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of a sane person.
"just get the f**k on with it and make me the anti-christ already!"
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
Yeah, we did
Still finding bottlecaps in the flowerpots every now and then Here's another one for stereotypic amusement (apologies to everyone who knows it!):
On an island the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman, 2 English men and 1 English woman, 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman, 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman, 2 American men and 1 American woman, 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
This is the situation one month later:
One Italian man has killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.
The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Bulgarian men have looked at the endless ocean, taken one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity for fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
And finally ...
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South. Then setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
ROFLMAO @ Birgit
These are some of the funnier stereotypes... which also neatly avoid anything even vaguely racist.
Great work!
After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
199 posts
Location: Edinburgh
IMPORTANT: Any views or opinions are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of a sane person.
"just get the f**k on with it and make me the anti-christ already!"
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