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Forums > Social Chat > My parents dicorce, and my story.

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172
Posted:My story starts aged 7, Pretty much as far back I can remember, and as far back as I can remember my rents being at each others throats.

My parents were always arguing, and when they'd finished my mums anger would turn to me. She'd try to start an argumant, and i'd take the offer gladly, giving back all that was given, and more often than not it ended withme getting a wallop. Worse cased senario was when mum misjudged a hit, and clobbered me in the side of the head knocking me out cold.

I'll have ot admit, I was no angel child (I'm still not) and I was sometimes "asking for it"

Without going into the nitty gritty details about my parents relationship, my Mum was a stressed control freak and my Dad was an immature old man. Put the two together and you've got a domestic nucleor bomb.

When I was 8 years old I began self harming. Christ knows at that age where I got the idea to do that from - I blame television rolleyes
I began digging my nails into my skin, then scratching so it took away the skin, in long lines. I did this on my legs, and hands. After a particulary bad argumant, when I was 10, between me my Dad and my Mum I sat up all night crying taking all the skin off the back of my left hand, up my first and second finger, and up my wrist and arm. It looked like I'd set a blow torch on myself.

The next morning I was in a daze disgusted from what I'd done to myself, and from the pain. As soon as I got to school I found a teacher showed her my hand and broke down. After that all I remeber is a very quiet journy to the GP with my mum, and the Doctor shaking his head in disbelief at me. He told me I was a silly little girl, told me to put Savlon on it, and sent me away again.
Mum told me to tell everybody I'd fallen over on concrete..
I never did it again after that.

Year 2000 and I start secondary school, my parents are as bad as ever and I was depoending on my friends for support.
Then in year 8 I got a new form tutor. Her name was Ms.Loe. She was amazing. I got into alot of trouble at school and she helped me through it, along with supporting me massivly through my troubles with my family.

In year 10 it finally came - "Your Dad and I are gettign a Divorce" because a) we don't love each other anymore and b) your dads been having an affair
Well a) I could have told you that 8 years ago, and b) I'm not an idiot, I'd worked that one out from myself 3 months ago.
It felt like my world was crumbling. I felt like a fialure for not keeping them together, and that it was my fault - 50% of all the argumants were in one way or another caused by rebel child miss aimz. Mum under the view that I needed to have lots of disapline, dad under the view that I should do what I like, "She'll sort herself out in the end"

The day we moved I sat on the back steps of the house crying myself dry. I didn't want to move. I wanted things to stay the same. The environment that had made me mutilate my body, and I wanted to stay there!
I didn't want to live in a divorced family.



Now it's a little over a year since I moved.
My mum in enganged to my Dad's old best friend (don't ask), to be married in may. I'm all for this, besides the fact I have to be a bridesmaid and wear a poxy dress.
In 21 days we move into his newly refurbished finished-jsut-in-time-by the-skin-of-your-teeth ground floor flat in St.Leonards (inbetween Bexhill and Hastings). It's huge! And my room is bright yellow biggrin
Now my mum is my best friend. We still argue, like any teenage daughter and mother do, but its much much better.

Dad is still typically dad. He rents a small ground floor flat in Hastings with our 2 dogs. We stay with him at the weekend. He's still in a relationship with a married woman. After nearly 3 years her husband dosn't know. I never see her, I don't want to. I hear her and Dad joking on the phone about how long its going to take before her husband keels over. Truth be known that her husband is an absoloute arsehole, but I don't like it.

Lulu is still Daddy's little girl, still the more intelligant one, still wants to be a Doctor. To qoute an extremely drunken mother introducing my and sister to one of her friends at her 40th in October
"Hello! This is my youngest Luce, shes in top set in school for everything! And she wants to study medicine. Oh and this is my eldest Aimz, she plays with fire, she smokes, *and* she has her nipple pierced!"
Christ, got all my life achievemants summed up in one sentance there mum ubblol

A song which I related to most a year ago was 'Stay together for the kids' by Blink 182, the first verse of which was my signiture on here for quite a while.
My anthem now? Queen - Dont stop me now biggrin
Looking back now, my parents divorcing was prolly the best thing thats ever happend to me - and for my parents I am eternally gratefull for them making that decision.


To any HoPer who has given me support over the past 2 years regarding anything, I thank you. I wouldn't be who I am today without the love and friendship of youse lot tongue




Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time, I'm having a ball...


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Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:smile

hug


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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animatEd
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK

Total posts: 3540
Posted:More chats coming to you...

biggrin

Take care!!

hug


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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roarfire
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

roarfire

comfortably numb
Location: The countryside, Australia

Total posts: 2676
Posted:Woah...

*is speechless*

hug


.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.

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VampyricAcid
SILVER Member since Jun 2005

VampyricAcid

veteran
Location: My House, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1286
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug
cant really say much more
hug hug hug hug hug


Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?

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yoni
GOLD Member since Jun 2005

yoni

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bideford and Bath, United King...

Total posts: 3099
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

that story really touched me and made me sad

i'm glad things are better now thogh


UCOF "evolution: Poi -> stick -> hoops -> devil stick -> juggling club -> juggling ball -> crayons."

Supergroovalsticprosifunkstication
In other words, it's the thumps bump

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172
Posted:smile

Don't be sad. I'm not sad anymore. Havn't been for a long time. I'm permanently happy!

I've been wanting to write something like this for a long time, and so this afternoon with the weather pissing it down and my poi stranded in London I sat down in Dad's kitchen with pen and paper and wrote it all down.
I wrote it with the hope that somebody else could read it, praps in the same situation as I was, and find some light from it smile


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Pigeon_Wigeon
BRONZE Member since Dec 2004

Pigeon_Wigeon

Say what?
Location: Surrey/Portsmouth, United King...

Total posts: 4760
Posted:*jumps and snuggles Aimzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* ubblove

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:hug

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Gnor
BRONZE Member since Mar 2003

Gnor

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Perth, Australia

Total posts: 5814
Posted:Some how miss Aimz is been a pleasure watching you work through it all.
The best bit is seeing you like this. Its been a journey full of crap and stuff but I think I would be proud to have you as a daughter. Nipple ring and all....just would argue about the smoking!
hug hug hug hug

as kids we inherit so much crap from our parents. You are well on the way to shedding their crap. Good stuff.

Im not sure if its that I am more aware now, or if selfharming is more common in spinners than my general communinty.


Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

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Eera
BRONZE Member since May 2003

old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Austral...

Total posts: 1107
Posted:Aimee, your writing is truly beautiful.

I wish you all the happiness in the world, after such a bad start you deserve it.


There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:hug2 kiss ubblove

Aime, you are a beautiful soul and a powerful spirit.

And just for being that, you get a free backrub when we meet.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172
Posted:Yay! Free backrub! kiss hug

My writing beautiful? Spelling mistakes an' all? wink Golly. Thank you ubblol

Special hugs for Gnor and Mike.
hug hug hug
I remember long PM conversations discussing various things and that lifted me up alot.
kiss


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Blasphemous Girl
SILVER Member since Aug 2005

Blasphemous Girl

member
Location: Gloucestershire, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 83
Posted:Aimee your story has really touched me, i'm so glad for you that your happy now and things have finally worked out.

i have gone though (and am still going through) some very similar things and you've given me some hope that things will work out for the best in the end

hug


"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."

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Psycho_lemming
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

Psycho_lemming

Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland

Total posts: 15
Posted:wow.... hug hug hug

thank you so much for posting that,
your a very special lovely person... mwa...
hope things just keep getting better for you... you deserve it,
take care
<love and hugs>
xxx


Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...

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DrBoo
BRONZE Member since Oct 2005

DrBoo

I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom

Total posts: 453
Posted:Keep looking after yourself Aimee. hug
Its sounds as though you're finally in a position where you can learn that you are worth a whole lot of somethings.
Hoping for good things to continue on and into the future.
Be good to you.
biggrin


Boo x

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?

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Just_Another_Clown


Just_Another_Clown

old hand
Location: London

Total posts: 965
Posted:
Massive Hugs For Aimee
hug hug hug hug


Q:"How many Jugglers Does it take to change a light bulb?"
A:"One, but another 99 others saying,'I could do that if I only practised more'" biggrin biggrin

Gate Keeper to Shocked_Prawn. None may pass.

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)

Total posts: 5967
Posted:Well done for posting and remaining sane beautiful...

Take care and see you next falmouth biggrin

x


Getting to the other side smile

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172
Posted:I was thinking about the fal this morning actually!
Me and the hastings kids, ok well me for certain,as hastingers never have and rudyd money rolleyes biggrin

hug


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jeffhigh
GOLD Member since Oct 2005

Member
Location: Caves Beach, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 89
Posted:Hi Aimee,
I am new here but I just wanted to encourage you and say this.
Remember, your story is only what has happened in the past and has been dominated by the influence of your parents.
what happens in the present and the future is a new and fresh story that has you as the author.
You are in charge, be free
Jeff


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Konsti


Konsti

lovable smart-ass
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria

Total posts: 785
Posted:hug

"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer

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