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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Ok so what makes people legally change their name?
I'm not talking about getting married here, I mean by deed poll.
I've recently learned that my eldest sister Natalie has done this, and now calls herself Sabrina, and I'm really P***ed off about it.

As a mum I carefully chose my daughter's names. They are pretty, and they can live with them (unlike tigerlilly and apple and egbert ubblol)
I'd be so hurt if one of my kids changed their name to something else, so If I feel like this, I know my Mum is hurt about it.
Unless you're on a WP (witness protection) program or are hiding from evil ex's, changing you're name because you're bored of it is the stupidest thing I've ever heard! My ex's Sister did this too, but her name was Sylvia and she changed it to Samantha (I cant really blame her though)

I'm very shocked about the whole thing, I'd never change my name, even though people pronounce it wrong. I mean that is what pet names are for - thats why I like people calling me Tammie not Tamara (dont get me started on how to pronounce it my way - just replace the C in camera to a T and there you go!)

The bottom line is that it was the ultimate insult to my mother, there was no need for her to do it at all.
mad2

Ok so now I need to go and chill out - let me know your views on the subject!

All the Best
Tammie smile


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:I agree that it's an insult to the parents. I don't understand it. On saying that, I have a friend who wants to change his SURNAME because he has issues with his father and doesn't want to be associated with him. But first names I think you need more reason than simply "oh, I don't like it". Except maybe the kid I heard was named firstname wayne carey surname, after a footballer who was god-like at the time. THATS just humiliating. But with football obsess parents like that he'll probably grow o love it and think he's awesome for having that name.

then you get the people who change their names to weird stuff, like a lady i read about who changed her name to Obiwan Kenobi.


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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coleman
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

coleman

big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay

Total posts: 7330
Posted:i don't see much difference between using a pet/shortened version of your birth name and going for a complete name change.



example: ted is about as far from edward as it gets yet people are happy to replace one with the other, even though the short version is nothing like the given name.



i think choosing what you prefer to be called is best for an individual - if you are not happy with your name, change it.



unless the reasoning behind it was to hurt your mum, i don't see how it can be regarded as "the ultimate insult"...

personally, if had kids and they decided to change their names when they became adults, i'd like to have a talk about how they came to that decision, but unless their only reason was "to piss you off dad", i would never try to persuede them not to do it.



incidentally, is this not one of very, very few posts that you've signed off under your real name miss 'tinklepants'... wink





cole. x


"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

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Birgit
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 4145
Posted:I don't know why it's an insult to a parent when someone doesn't like their name. I know lots of people who tend to use another of their first names, but not everyone is so lucky. If you go for a completely different pet name, you'll have to explain for the rest of your life why your work email address isn't actually the name you use, etc, and you confuse people a lot.

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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spritie
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX

Total posts: 2014
Posted:I don't see anything wrong with wanting to change your name either. I've known someone who did so because she kept getting confused with another female of the same name. She wanted to be a unique person, hence the change of name.

Your parents chose a name they liked...does that mean your sibling is automatically forced to like it as well? Changing a name can also be a representation of their personality. Maybe they don't feel like their name suits who they have become?


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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:i want to change my surname, but it would be like the third time its been changed

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Dr_Molly


Dr_Molly

Pooh-Bah
Location: Away from home

Total posts: 2354
Posted:My name seems to have changed without me having much to do with it at all. I just turned up at work and everyone was convinced that I was called Molly smile I didn't see the point in arguing and so it stuck.

Incidently my mother thinks it's a very nice name and gave me a mole to emphasise the point smile


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onewheeldave
GOLD Member since Aug 2002

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield

Total posts: 3252
Posted:Written by: TinklePants

Ok so what makes people legally change their name?
I'm not talking about getting married here, I mean by deed poll.
I've recently learned that my eldest sister Natalie has done this, and now calls herself Sabrina, and I'm really P***ed off about it.

As a mum I carefully chose my daughter's names. They are pretty, and they can live with them (unlike tigerlilly and apple and egbert ubblol)
I'd be so hurt if one of my kids changed their name to something else, so If I feel like this, I know my Mum is hurt about it.....................................

................The bottom line is that it was the ultimate insult to my mother, there was no need for her to do it at all.





Have you asked your sister why she changed her name? Maybe she had a really good reason.

Personally, I don't think a parent has any right to get annoyed if their children change their name- they're basically independant individuals who have a legal right to do so.

I certainly don't think it's anywhere near the ultimate insult to one's mother.

If I give my child a certain name, then obviosly I will put a lot of thought into it, and try to get an appropriate choice. But, if years down the line, he/she opts to change it; I'd she that as their right.

Families are strange, they get pushed apart by the strangest things smile

I se it in my own, with long-standing wars over who got 'grannies ring' etc.

I think with families, an effort has to be made to see each others perspective, and not see offence where there was none intended.

As my parents son, I live my life the way I want to- it happens that I don't want to change my name, but, if I did, I'd do it, and I'd do so for my own reasons, and I wouldn't be taking much notice of anyone who had a problem with it (though I would first expain my reasoning to my parents).

I'm a adult, it's my name.


"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:i got a mate thatsa changed his middle name by deed poll to.............alucard


but then he was always a little odd


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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...

Total posts: 8737
Posted:Tizzy... wink you know you LOVE that name Tam, perhaps your sister is trying to re-invent herself. I would not change my name nor can I really shorten it. Did Natalie ever get any name calling? does her birth-name have any bad memories?
If she's bored then that's her issue it is in actuallity her name. the single most important thing in you life you have no Original choice over.
Maybe she is trying to express her independance


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton

Total posts: 197
Posted:My father changed his middle name years ago from Frederick (which was his fathers name) to David (as in the David and Goliath story from the bible) He did not do this to disrespect his birth father, but because the name david means something special to him...I woud not dream to argue with his choice.

There is also someone I work with who changed his first name to a single letter..this dudes name is E..thats it..I havent asked him why,but I guess its different strokes for different folks.. everyone calles him by his surname anyway.


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:I've considered changing my name in the past, simply so that i could introduce myself without 'hurhurhurhur wheres hardy?' etc. very funny, entirely original, not boring at all.

in the end though, i really couldn't decide on another name. laurel is who i am. maybe your sister felt like natalie wasn't her and that sabrina is? its not an insult to your mother. although she might be upset, your sister has every right to be known by whatever name she chooses.


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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings

Total posts: 4172
Posted:Written by: squarexbear

I've considered changing my name in the past, simply so that i could introduce myself without 'hurhurhurhur wheres hardy?' etc. very funny, entirely original, not boring at all.




Loz, I've never thought of that before, sorry ubbangel

I've never thought of changing my name. Aime isn't weird or wacky, but the spelling is ish smile
I think its all down to personal choice..
I have a foster cousin whose parents both had special needs, and great fans of the flintstones..they named him Wilmur..
My Aunty is in the process of adopting him/changing his name. For a 7 year old boy (who also happens to have special needs) Wilmur is most difinatly not 'him'


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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran


Total posts: 1588
Posted:Written by: onewheeldave




Have you asked your sister why she changed her name? Maybe she had a really good reason.



.



She couldn't give me a good reason! (all she said was "I dunno") her old first name is now her middle name and her new last name is the same as her current bf. (copy cat ubblol)



The problem she has is that everyone she knew growing up are still going to call her Natalie out of habbit. I still call her Natalie and she has never corrected me so I keep doing it!

At the end of the day it is her life, her name, etc but she can't MAKE people change what they KNOW her as!

(sorry for rambeling, womens problems wink)

EDITED_BY: LilMissSmartyPants (1130934944)


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Phaerie
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Phaerie

veteran
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 1240
Posted:my name is april claire, until i was 18 i was known to everyone as claire. i had always hated the name (i remember being about 5 and asking if i could change my name). i wanted to change it but never really had the chance (because of all friends etc always calling me claire) then when i was 17 i moved 2000kms away from where i grew up and met a whole new group of people, and basically started to find out who the real me was, and i decided i most definately was not a claire. so i asked everyone to start calling me april. the single best decision i have ever made. my dad was upset because he really liked the name claire, but understood my reasons, and my mum was over the moon because she had always liked april much more.
i think the reason for calling me april claire and then using claire was that i was due in april, but i was actually born in may so they thought it was strange to be called april if i wasnt born then. *shrug* either way...

but yeah, can completely understand wanting to change your name. if she felt the need and went with it and is now happy -good on her.


Only when you close your eyes can you really see...

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:I believe a daughter is the property of her parents until she gets married and becomes the property of her husband and her name should reflect that fact.

Oh no wait... I totally don't.

-Mike


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Birgit
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 4145
Posted:Written by: NYC

I believe a daughter is the property of her parents until she gets married and becomes the property of her husband and her name should reflect that fact.

Oh no wait... I totally don't.

-Mike



So what name did you have in mind for Molly? ubblol


"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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Dr_Molly


Dr_Molly

Pooh-Bah
Location: Away from home

Total posts: 2354
Posted:My name is terribly convenient already wink



Who'd have thought NYC was my surname? biggrin


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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:My sister couldn't come up with any names that she and the childrens father could agree on. I offered up a few and they got picked. If either of my Nieces wanted to change their names I wouldn't be offended that they wanted to. I often have said that you shouldn't have to name kids until they are about 6. By that time you can usually tell what their name should be.

I have a middle name I really don't like. I've never bothered to change it because its not really ever used so it doesn't matter to me.

My brother on the other hand was called by his first name all his childhood and now he chooses to use his middle name. Its kind of odd because when I talk about him as a child I call him by his first name but when I talk about him now I call him by his seconds. Its almost as if in my head they are to separate people.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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jeff(fake)


jeff(fake)

Scientist of Fortune
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 1189
Posted:Jeff is actually just a nickname most people call me by. I wouldn't go through all the trouble of a deed pole but I do prefer it to my real name.

G.


According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Dynamics, we may already be making love right now...

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Phaerie
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Phaerie

veteran
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 1240
Posted:yeah same thing happens with me, when friends and family talk about me as a child im claire, and if its about something recent in april.

Only when you close your eyes can you really see...

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Birgit
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 4145
Posted:Between the age of 8 and 24 I wasn't actually called Birgit by many people. It's only since I left Germany that there were no others around who knew my nickname. I let people call me Bridget if they fail to pronounce Birgit correctly at the 10th go though ubblol

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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jeff(fake)


jeff(fake)

Scientist of Fortune
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 1189
Posted:You let me call you Bigot for ages rolleyes

According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Dynamics, we may already be making love right now...

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Birgit
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 4145
Posted:it's closer than most englishspeakers get... I've had Brigitte, Burger, birdshit and others ubblol

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:Written by: Skulduggery

I often have said that you shouldn't have to name kids until they are about 6. By that time you can usually tell what their name should be.




yep.
sadly, 1, 2 and 3 are seen to be unsuitable names for kids frown


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Sethis
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University

Total posts: 1762
Posted:Written by: blu_valley

He did not do this to disrespect his birth father...




It's NOT a verb. PLEASE don't use it as such. Please? biggrin

My name is Anton Ross Gilbert. How sucky is that? I always felt awkward saying "Hi, I'm Ross". It just doesn't gel right. But I *hate* the name Anton, so I go with Ross most of the time.

I might change it, but the hassle would be insane. Changing it at University, the banks, NHS etc etc etc.

I'll just stick with the crap names for now. smile


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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Carobananas
GOLD Member since Nov 2003

Carobananas

april fool
Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands

Total posts: 36
Posted:Friends of mine have just had a child and named him "Guiness",

after the beer.

I wonder how their 2nd child is going to be called....

beerchug


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FireByNite
SILVER Member since Dec 2004

FireByNite

Are you up for it??
Location: Auckland

Total posts: 349
Posted:friend of mine - 1 child is called "Justice" & does antone remember the old chrysler cars? yes her next child is called "chrysler"
She reckons she won't mind if they change their names when they are old enough.


Are you up for it?
wink;)

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Medusa
BRONZE Member since Nov 2003

Medusa

veteran
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Per...

Total posts: 1433
Posted:I want to change mine....only because my name was incorrectly spelt on my birth certificate (the person typing my birth certificate thought my parents had made a spelling error and corrected it without asking)

I also want to add my Indonesian name to my real name.


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newgabe
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali

Total posts: 4030
Posted:Written by: Carobananas

Friends of mine have just had a child and named him "Guiness",
after the beer.
I wonder how their 2nd child is going to be called....
beerchug



You MUST read this wonderful poem about a Bush Christening ! ubblol


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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newgabe
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali

Total posts: 4030
Posted:I was christened Lynette Knox (apparently my name was picked out of a hat!) I shortened it to Lyn as soon as I could talk.

When I was travelling 30 years ago, 1000s of miles from anyone who knew my 'real name') a boyfriend started calling me 'Gabriel' as a nickname. It stuck. So for decades I was Gabriel Knox... even went on my new passport as a middle name.



My parents kept calling me Lyn though even when it was really inconvenient, like phoning me and having flatmates not know who they were talking about. Grr. I found that disrespectful and silly! It's not like I was calling myself Heffalump or Amoxycillin or something!



Then I got married. My parents had no problem at all with a surname change, in fact they assumed it! I was calling myself Gabriel Knox and they were calling me Lyn Monson!



Then there's the kids...

My son had my original surname cos I wasn't married to his father. But when he was 5 his dad's parents actually requested that we add their surname to his name, to continue their family name. I said, "sure doesn't matter".. but oops, footinmouth It meant a lot to them.



Then I had the dilemma of a second child.. what surname to use? To 'tidy things up' I changed my surname... so now I have a completely different name to my childhood. All 4 names are on my passport, I get called all sorts of combinations.

The only person in the world who calls me Lyn now is my dad... and telesales people. Handy, I can always tell straight away if a caller actually knows me or not!



I have lots of friends who have names given by spiritual teachers etc.. I never assume someone's name is what they were christened! In some cultures it is quite normal to give a kid a 'provisional' name till their 'real' name becomes apparent... so when my daughter says she dislikes her (somewhat old fashioned) name, and that she will change it when she finds a better one.. fine by me.


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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