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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Ok so what makes people legally change their name?
I'm not talking about getting married here, I mean by deed poll.
I've recently learned that my eldest sister Natalie has done this, and now calls herself Sabrina, and I'm really P***ed off about it.

As a mum I carefully chose my daughter's names. They are pretty, and they can live with them (unlike tigerlilly and apple and egbert ubblol)
I'd be so hurt if one of my kids changed their name to something else, so If I feel like this, I know my Mum is hurt about it.
Unless you're on a WP (witness protection) program or are hiding from evil ex's, changing you're name because you're bored of it is the stupidest thing I've ever heard! My ex's Sister did this too, but her name was Sylvia and she changed it to Samantha (I cant really blame her though)

I'm very shocked about the whole thing, I'd never change my name, even though people pronounce it wrong. I mean that is what pet names are for - thats why I like people calling me Tammie not Tamara (dont get me started on how to pronounce it my way - just replace the C in camera to a T and there you go!)

The bottom line is that it was the ultimate insult to my mother, there was no need for her to do it at all.
mad2

Ok so now I need to go and chill out - let me know your views on the subject!

All the Best
Tammie smile


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Ok so i've taken two days chill out time and had a good think about the whole thing.



I'm not saying I'm dead against what she did, i'm just a bit bewildered and confused as its a strange thing to do "just because she felt like it". But it's easy to confuse me ubblol



I see most of you wouldn't be bothered and I'm not gonna try change your opinions, Just trying to figure my sister out as I really don't know who she is. She has been re-inventing herself since she was about 14 -thats nearly 12 years, and i mean every fortnight a different hair colour and stuff (she's strawberry blonde). I kind of get the feeling that she isn't happy just being herself, always wanting to be different. She even used to put on a different accent before she even moved to england from wales several years ago. Don't get me wrong - different is good, but in doing so she's kinda forgotten who she is.



And it doesn't help she's always trying to please her current boyfriend with changing her appearance to suit his tastes.



With me I have different looks - one is the at home Tammie (which is shabby lol), one is the arty farty Tammie (either hippy or goth), and one is the smart Tammie (tailored jackets etc). And then there's the casual Tammie, jeans and top. This is me (and the goth Tammie's making a regular appearances lately) and if people dont like it thats their problem. Take it or leave it!

Marie on the other hand always seems to choose her look carefully - chav or cleavage (lol sorry LMSP but i cant help it hehe)



Look the point is Nat goes to all that trouble for her man and sooner or later they'll part and she'll do it all again.

She has always had an identity crisis - and its kinda sad in a way that she hasn't found herself yet, when I knew who I was after I left my hubby (and i could then afford to buy stuff with money he wasnt spending!)



The only way she can do this I think is to spend some time on her own, not looking for anyone's approval, being herself and not be influenced by others. Even if its one look for only a year, at least she's stuck to it and accepted the fact that changing herself constantly may make her feel better about herself, but it never lasts, you see, its like she's masquerading. Hiding from herself and creating new personalities to suit her living arrangements.

I think the absence of our Dad as kids affected her more as she is the eldest, she probably remembers him living with us where i was just a bit too young. Daddy didn't love me/Looking for male approval etc.



I just hope she finds herself soon.

One thing i will say is she'd make a great special agent/ undercover cop/spy!!!!


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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KatP
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

KatP

Muddy fingernails
Location: Way oop norf

Total posts: 505
Posted:Written by: squarexbear


yep.
sadly, 1, 2 and 3 are seen to be unsuitable names for kids frown



I dunno, my mum used to call us number one, number two and number three. But that's cos my little brother got fed up of her calling him KaChriSimon
(He's called Simon, and my middle brother is Christopher)

My name is Kathryn, but everyone calls me Kat. Except parents and family. My mum was initially a bit 'what's wrong with Kathryn then' but she doesn't seem to be bothered now. I think she's decided piercings are far worse! rolleyes


Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

KITTENS!!!!

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onewheeldave
GOLD Member since Aug 2002

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield

Total posts: 3252
Posted:Written by: TinklePants






I see most of you wouldn't be bothered and I'm not gonna try change your opinions, Just trying to figure my sister out as I really don't know who she is. She has been re-inventing herself since she was about 14 -thats nearly 12 years, and i mean every fortnight a different hair colour and stuff (she's strawberry blonde). I kind of get the feeling that she isn't happy just being herself, always wanting to be different. She even used to put on a different accent before she even moved to england from wales several years ago. Don't get me wrong - different is good, but in doing so she's kinda forgotten who she is.







She sounds a bit like me when I was young- my appearance, ways of behaving etc have always tended to be in a state of flux.



It used to be a problem, particularly as I was very into spiritual matters, and alternating between aspiring to shamanism one week, buddhism the next, then delving into aspects of primitive christianity; could be a source of distress (particularly as I was also an athiest smile ).



But, you can make it work for you, if you can accept and understand that flux.



For example, as I developed ways for the spiritual variety to not be seen as necessarily a problem, or as a sign of lack of committment etc; a side effect was that I started to isolate which aspects of each system were effective and valid.



Also of course, having come to terms with this kind of flux within myself, it gives me some emapthy/understanding of that minority of the population (a sizable minority) who experience the same flux in their world view.



Applying it to the other big thing in my life- juggling/spinning/skill acquisition; something which I'm sure others here can relate to: -



it's often drummed into people that there's no point getting into things half-heartedly, ie taking up a new hooby every week, being well keen on it, and then forsaking it for a new interest, etc, etc.



And there's a lot of truth in that; however, for me, any efforts I've applied in these areas, has been generally inconsistent- intense at times, then leaving it for months/years.



However, through those long years, a minority of the things I've dabbled with, I have become very proficient in (juggling/spinning/unicycling/crafts etc).



So I've made it work for me.



That's not to say it's a good approach for everyone- what I'm saying is that what's important isn't the actual appraoch to life, but to how the individual manages to work with that approach (or doesn't manage to work with it).



Going to extremes; the exact same feelings, can, for one person, manifest as mental illness, and, for another, manifest as beneficial spiritual understanding.



Being a 'fluxy' type of person is, IMO, neither good or bad; it's how well you integrate that characteristic into your life.



Incidently, for those interested in this characteristic taken to the extremes, a condition known as borderline personality, there's a film (fiction- action thriller)called 'Chameleon' starring Anthony La .....? (star of 'missing') who plays a character who unconsciously uses the fact that his personality is determined pretty much entirely by the circumstances he happens to be in, to be an extremely successful undercover agent; whilst also dealing with the bad aspects of the condition.


"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr

Total posts: 4217
Posted:La Paglia? its the only anthony La-something i know of

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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onewheeldave
GOLD Member since Aug 2002

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield

Total posts: 3252
Posted:Yep- La Paglia is the name I was after smile

"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran


Total posts: 1588
Posted:Whoops! Spoken to her Tink and she DOES have a good reason. She never said anything to me before because shes a dizzy bint ubblol

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NOn


activist for HoPper liberation.
Location: ffidrac

Total posts: 1643
Posted:Ok, i can confirm this would be weird, but then i believe also like skully that people kind of grow names, also cats, dogs etc... so it wouldn't surprise me if someone wanted to change their name... i often thought that some people i know would suit other names better, but at the same time, their names are also good...

and what about those 6/7 people that Dave Gorman got to change their names to Dave Gorman, i wonder what they call themselves these days....?


Aurinko freedom agreement reached 10th Sept 2006

if it makes no sense that's because it's NOn-sense.

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr

Total posts: 4217
Posted:LMSP thats the problem with our family, there's no communication! ubblol

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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_FSA_


_FSA_

now comes with skydiving license
Location: In your head. (Tasmania, Austr...

Total posts: 1627
Posted:well i want to change my name but im not certain yet. my actual name is Taya but i want to change it to Thea (pronounced allmost the same as Taya, but with an 'e' instead of the first 'a') my main reason for wanting to do this is that the name Thea is a Dutch name and all my mums side of the family (inclding her) are Dutch. i was going to be called Thea but my dad couldnt say it (damn Aussies!!) so i was stuck with Taya. i much rather the traditional version and have wanted to change it for ages.

also i dont have a middle name because my last name is so long. but i want one!! in fact in our famaily, on mums side allmost every generation has had some one in the family with the middle names 'Johanna Maria Theresa' exept for mine. and so i want to add them too. maybe im just crazy wanting a name like: Thea Johanna Maria Theresa Ketelaar-Jones, but i really want to change it!!

i think it should be up to the person if they want to change it. ive talked it over with my parents and they dont mind, so i dont really see why not. but thats just me smile


Proudly owned by the very cute Pineapple Pete. Owner of Noddy. Joint owner of Mr Majestik.

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roarfire
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

roarfire

comfortably numb
Location: The countryside

Total posts: 2676
Posted:Taya is an awesome name! Don't change it! tongue

.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.

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JauntyJames
SILVER Member since Dec 2004

JauntyJames

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA

Total posts: 3533
Posted:I think that changing one's name is healthy, and not an insult to the parents. Your name is a very important part of who you are, although there are certainly more important parts. If you're not satisfied with your name, you should change it to something that you feel fits. I think that everybody should change their given names after a time, unless they feel their given names truely fit who they are.

-James

"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"

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_FSA_


_FSA_

now comes with skydiving license
Location: In your head. (Tasmania, Austr...

Total posts: 1627
Posted:aw thanks roarfire, it will still be pronounced allmost exactly the same, but like i said before i just rather the traditional Dutch version to stay true to my Dutchiness blood smile tongue

Proudly owned by the very cute Pineapple Pete. Owner of Noddy. Joint owner of Mr Majestik.

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