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Forums > Social Discussion > Is it unusuall to feel differnt outside?

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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:Everytime I leave the house I suddenly feel...well overwhelamed is to strong of a word, but overcome with a feeling of lonelyness and yerning for someone. I just look at the sky and the road and it makes me think of my ex and how much I miss him, and it feels weird couse I feel guilty about being here, and not there with him...even though I know he's off somewhere else and its not like he is actually waiting for me.

Then I go back inside and I feel better, does that happen alot to people?


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Drudwyn


Drudwyn

Forget puppy power, Scrappy's just gay
Location: Southampton Uni

Total posts: 632
Posted:Not usually... Has that always been the case Joe?

Spin, bounce, be one with the world, because it is yours to enjoy...

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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:Not at first, but over the last month its been like that. Since he left that is, it wasnt like that when we where going out.

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Posted:the outside world can be daunting. inside your house you are comfortable and you knw your surroundings. i'm just guessing but when you and your bf were together...maybe he was always looking out for you? making you feel safe and perhaps protected?

in any case. because you are now facing that same daunting world on your own, it really can make you sit back and really take a look at how vast it really is. one thing that was told to me was that you're looking up...your thoughts are up. if you are looking down...your thoughts are down. the sky and the road? looking at the sky is maybe asking yourself where is someone? the road is perhaps...maybe there is noone. bugger this i'm going home where it's safe.

the good thing out of all of this is the fact that you are realising the world outside your doorstep is really there. so many people are sheltered for so long that they go their whole lives without noticing that. your eyes are open at the moment. turn your energies in towards yourself and just know that.

i am in a similar position as you are at the moment and i am just speculating as to how you feel from my own experiences. i hope something makes sense or helps there. if not maybe itll inspire someone else to set me straight? hahaha

take care mate.


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Sakura_Moon


Sakura_Moon

Hop's Kitten Jester.
Location: Wonderland igloo, Vic, Austral...

Total posts: 1803
Posted:Everytime i go outside, i get pointed at, laughed at, people yell stuff at me. I'm discriminated against.
People smirk at me. People come over and touch my hair without asking.
Though i get all of this attention, i feel lonely too.
I have my boyfriend, and very few friends, that i may see once a week. Thats it.
But i guess its quality over quantity.
I put this on myself, but i know how you feel when you go outside.
Its not very relevant you what you're saying, but i'm just letting you know i dont liek being outside much, either.
hug


.:Pink Exocutioner:.

I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct...

Loving you from the deepest part of my loins.


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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:I think its more to do with the fact steve left without saying anything, he didnt bother to tell me it was over he just abandond me. Been friends with him for years, ive known him since I was just turning 16, only started going out for about 6 months before christmas but it felt like longer becaouse we were really close friends before that, I was so in love with him it was like a fairy tale, I found the one without even looking he found me.

Hes not even far away hes only in warrington, I could easily get to him, but hes gone and hes so so unreachable, I tried to get hold of him but he jsut cut me off and I dont even know why, wish I knew why I wasnt good enough for him, what made him stop careing about me enough to just abandon me the way he did. It might sound funny to hear but it feels like he was taken away from me, ive lost familly ive been close to and it feels the same way because there their and everythings fine, and then suddenly there not and theres no answers, I miss him so much and I blame myself for it.


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:why blame yourself honey? its obviously not your fault.
I used to get that lonely feeling when i was younger. Dont dwell on what could have been, get out and see if you're blessed with the same luck and another keeper falls into your lap smile hug
Stop looking and you'll find someone - its always been like that since the dawn of time (i'm assuming lol)


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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DrBoo
BRONZE Member since Oct 2005

DrBoo

I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom

Total posts: 453
Posted:Brit_Joe.
It's a crap feeling.
I agree with Inspired_by_fire, your house is somewhere that you can feel safe, and have familiar and comforting things around you. But outside you may feel more exposed and vulnerable. It is probably why people with depression tend to shut themsleves away in their homes, rather than wandering the streets etc.
However, it is a vicious cycle. If you stay at home and avoid the discomfort of the outside world, the outside world becomes somewhere even more daunting. The more you avoid it, the more you want to avoid it.
I'm a bit loathe to offer specific advice, but I would suggest youtalk to someone, anyone, about how you're feeling. Even writing it down on here is a start. It sounds as if you've been really hurt. And it's perfectly natural to blame yourself, however unreasonable that is. But if you shut yourself away and keep these thoughts and feelings bottled up, chances are it's only going to get worse, or at the very least not get better.
Time is a great healer. When you've been hurt like this it often feels like a physical injury. As time passes, the wounds heal a little, but you are still bruised. Eventually you'll be better (if a little scarred for a while). But you have to make sure you look after yourself, otherwise you cannot heal properly.
Hope this doesn't sound too cliched and overly fluffy.

Here, have one of these hug


Boo x

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?

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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:I cant talk to anyone, I dont have anyone. Only person out of the internet who knows im gay is one friend, who himself is feeling miserable about not having a boyriend and his body image, he gets annoyed whenever I mention fellas and he just puts up all these defense mechanisms, like pretending not to beleive I ever had a bf, asking how the hell could I get one that stuff, I know hes not trying to be insulting its just what he does to deal with it.

Cant, and dont want to go to my familly about it, that would mean telling them im gay and then it would mean talking to them about it. I dont have much of any relationship with my parents, have none at all with my brother, Ive told friends im gay before and lost them because of it, everybody ends up [censored] off.


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Drudwyn


Drudwyn

Forget puppy power, Scrappy's just gay
Location: Southampton Uni

Total posts: 632
Posted:*hugs Joe tight*

Hey dude... What about friends? They don't have to know you're gay, sometimes having people just to be with and do things with is enough. Being alone and moping never ever helps. You don't have to tell them why you're down, but just having them there with you helps so much. And regardless of the people who call themselves your friends who then run away when you tell them something new, we're always here, to talk, to help, and to cheer you up through the magnificent world of text!


Spin, bounce, be one with the world, because it is yours to enjoy...

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inos
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

inos

member
Location: Switzerland

Total posts: 14
Posted:You are facing a hard time... Not able to talk to your family or friends about your loss and pain. Its bitter to loose the loved one from one day to the other. I think its easy to say that your friends that you told that your are gay and broke up with you were not your real friends. The pain to get rejected is still hurting, it makes no different.

Why its hurts when you leave your house...? May because things in the streets remind you at your ex, your are looking for these things unconsciously. Like I did a long time ago when I lost my first girl friend.

The only adivse I can give you, is try to avoid these places. To be reminded all the time does not help...


I wish you good luck.

Inos


crappy poier.... its always the paraffins fault...

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:hug

I'm afraid I'm not any more useful.

Home has always been the worst place for me. When I'm outside people leave me alone. When I'm at home people try to hurt me. So I don't really understand, but I tried reversing what was in my head kinda... and.. hug


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:awww hug - and that goes to everyone too x x x x x x I'm all messed up inside but at least Ive got nice piople too send me good vibes!

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Posted:i had the same thing mate. i was sitting on my ex's lounge when she came home and started a fight and asked me to leave. later on i found out that she had so many other things going on that she just couldn't deal with me at the time. hurt like hell adn still does. in her eyes she's looking out for number one and if that's what she has to do then so be it. i refuse to not live my life though. it seriously is too short not to do it big. you get one shot at this. no going back. if you have noone to talk to then maybe look up a support group or perhaps take up a hobby that involves other gay guys or something to that effect. everything will be fine with time my friend.

if this guy has split and wont talk to you and the rest then so be it. nothing you can do if that's the way he wants to be. he see himself as doing the right thing and it's easier for him to know you're unhappy. you have to get up on your feet. dust yourself off and shoot out that door. i got lonely too and i went back to an old class i used to do and made some friends. just some people to laugh with and take the edge off. you have to be tough with yourself sometimes though. it's where you learn your most valuable life lessons...


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Nephtys


Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Total posts: 835
Posted:Awww, hon hug hug hug

everyone's unique except me

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