• All Purchases made this month instantly go into the draw to win a USD $ 100.00 credit to your HoP account.
 

Forums > Social Chat > I have yet another rant...but iI need advice this time!

Login/Join to Participate

heyahoney
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

heyahoney

Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw

Total posts: 566
Posted:Ok, I am at a lost of what to do right now. I am nine months pregnent and the baby's father left me for my best friends girolfriend. I don't want him to have anything to do with my baby because the whole time we were together he was cheating on me and lying to me about it. (I wouldn't have been so pissed if he would not have lied.) He hit me while I was pregnant and choke me and forced me to have sex with him even though I was put on pelvic rest (no sex) by my doctor. I don't want to put his name on the birth certificate or give the baby his name or let him see the baby at all. What do ya'll think I should do?

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

Delete Topic

hadez
BRONZE Member since Nov 2002

hadez

member
Location: southampton

Total posts: 44
Posted:It sounds to me like you've got the right idea already, you dont want that kinda guy around as your child grows up. Now the fact that he assaulted you is extreemly serious and if at all possible i would try to make sure he cant treat anyone else like this. Although you may not have the energy at the moment persue matters its worth talking to your doctor about what has happened. Then there will be a legal record of what he has done if you decide to take things further or if he tries to get access to your child.
The main thing is to keep strong and talk to people, you are the one that has been wronged and talking will help. Share your worries as much a possible, dont let this a**hole take any of your energy away from your child.

Good Luck X


Delete

Psycho_lemming
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

Psycho_lemming

Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland

Total posts: 15
Posted:hug hug hug
i agree you should keep talking bout this if you can, to your doctor, family, friends... what he has done is serious and you are definately doing the right thing by distancing yourself and your child from this man,

please remember that none of this is your fault <hugs>

i'm so sorry you had to go through all that... if you ever need to rant or just a chat please feel free to pm me anytime...
stay strong for yourself and your child
<hugs, love and support>
xxx


Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...

Delete

alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:hug

what a total waste of space!!!! what he did to you is called rape, which ever way you look at it you where forced into something against your will. i don't know the legal in's and out's but you don't have to put his name on the birth certificate. i would talk to your doctor and tell him/her your concernes

hug don't let this get you down honey


Delete

thegreatBJ


Woman! Not gay Man!
Location: Hull...ish

Total posts: 332
Posted:this type of thing i serious enough for him to g to prisn and if not that then at lest a restraning order for you and the baby even if he is the dad

what he did was wrong and by doing it he cold have hurt youre baby... and i speekfrom experiance that i is teribble to know a guy has done this to you and got away with it Ravehead is tottaly right it is rape and I undestand that at te moment you will be in denile and it will take you long time to realise the seriousness of what he has done... you sould deffintely tell someone about this (and not just us someone who can do something about it)

If you ever need to talk to someone who partly understands what youre going through PM me and l'll get back to you as soon as I can

were all surpporting you on this one!


I AM NOT A GAY MAN!

Delete

pricklyleaf
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

pricklyleaf

with added berries
Location: Manchester

Total posts: 1365
Posted:Sounds like you're much better off without out him, and you'll realise it the longer you're apart from him. Make sure you get it down on record what he did to you (rape and assult are very serious, and you don't want him to do this to anyone else), as it will help you if there are any legal problems over custordy in the future. It will be really hard, but once you've done it, you don't need to worry again. And do this as soon as possible, sad as it is, the longer you leave it, the less likley the evidence would stand up in court.

Don't worry, we all have to go through crap in our lives and it can only make you a stronger person, and know when someone thats really good for you comes along. I also have a little limited experience with this kind of thing with my ex. The best thing he ever did was disappear (literaly) and leave me, although a year and a half later he started contacting me, luckily I'd had enough time to realise what he was.

love and support x


Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Delete

heyahoney
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

heyahoney

Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw

Total posts: 566
Posted:thank all of you for thee support, but what i am supposed to do when the police in my town just laughed at me? I tried to do something about it already, and they just told me they couldnt do anything at all and that i couldnt keep him from seeing the baby

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

Delete

alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:how sucky are the police????


sounds to me like following up on your rape allegations was going to interrupt their doughnut eating time or something.

sucky police make my blood boil!!!!

never there when needed, but if you make one minor little mistake there all over you like a bad rash.


Delete

Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Move. But you're nine months pregnant, thats prolly about the hardest time to deal with this. :/

I live somewhere where the police are the same way. And even if you get to a place where they arn't, new officers don't like dicking around with stuff from other places, or hearing about other bad officers....

Is there any kind of a shelter in your area, or that you can get to by bus? Those are, most likely, the places best equipped to dealing with these type of situations.... And if they're local they'll already know about the police, and maybe know how to get around that.


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete

alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:jesus, is every copper in the south of the U.S. a carbon copy of sheriff "boss hog" from dukes of hazzard???


i thought of coppers sucked.........all they do is hassle motorists


Delete

Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:I'm in the north. But nay mind. I think they're good in some places. I think I've even lived in one before, but i'm not sure about that.

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete

pricklyleaf
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

pricklyleaf

with added berries
Location: Manchester

Total posts: 1365
Posted:The shalter idea is a good one. You don't even have to move there, but they will be able to help you and have lots of experience with people in a situation similar to yours. You might be able to phone them, or someone else for advice from people who know the local laws.

Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Delete

Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:hug

I am but a PM away smile

hug2 hug


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

Delete

Psycho_lemming
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

Psycho_lemming

Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland

Total posts: 15
Posted:angry censored censored censored angry
ra.... sorry that just makes me so angry!

please stay strong and dont give up because the stupid [censored] police are so ignorant!
it may legally be hard to 'prove' but that shouldnt distract from the fact that this was very wrong... i cant believe people could laugh... do they not understand!
please remember this is not your fault
these numbers could be helpful for advise and support for you...

America:
RAINN - The Rape Abuse & Incest National Network: 1-800-656-4673
Rape Hotline - Tel: 1-800-656-HOPE

take care of yourself and your child...
you can get through this

feel free to pm me anytime
hug hug hug hug
<love and hugs and support>
hug hug hug
xxx


Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...

Delete

thegreatBJ


Woman! Not gay Man!
Location: Hull...ish

Total posts: 332
Posted:ohhhh I hate this....

rape aligations arent taken seriously anymore (especially if its rape in a relationship) because of all the stupid shitty women who have lied about it to get back at their boyfriends GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

we all love you and are here to help and like Psycho Lemming says ITS NOT YOURE FAULT you'll want to blame youre self at some point ( i know I did) but it's his fault whatever the situation it's his fault!


I AM NOT A GAY MAN!

Delete

heyahoney
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

heyahoney

Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw

Total posts: 566
Posted:thank all of yall for all of the support. You know it is crazy that ppl ive never met in person care more than the ppl who are suppsed to uphold the law....

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

Delete

dani_babyboo
SILVER Member since Feb 2005

dani_babyboo

addict
Location: Cannock, staffordshire

Total posts: 667
Posted:i know that situation only too well
and had same treatment from the police advising me there was no point in pursuing it cos it would be thrown out of court before it got there and its pathetic its similar to date rape its rare they do anything about that either as if no physical proof meaning bruising that can be seen then they consider doing something about it but someone u have had sex with before it cant be classed as rape to them or theres no proof when the emotional scars are just as bad if not worse because you feel that person was meant to love you...

hun dont let him have anything to do with ur child and if there is any womens refuges there for domestic violence victims then go to them and they will help, i have a child from that situation and my ex being physically and sexually violent towards me and i went to refuge and im now happy in a relationship and settling down with a new man, so dont be so down on your self eithere you will find happiness soon.. i promise that smile


enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token

o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek

stepped up promotions

Delete

flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:So, is this rapist prick the guy you were pining for when he was in prison last year - the one you've been wanting to marry since you were 5? The one your Dad really didn't want you to have anything to do with, and went through your truck and found a letter from him and stuff? Aren't you like 18 or 19 years old or something? Where are your parents/family now - surely they can help you out?



Seriously though, HoP is not the place to be asking for such serious advice. If your situation is as hard-core as you claim, I honestly think you should utilise some local resources and get professional advice on what to do.



After all, we're just a bunch of freaks who like playing with fire.


HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

Delete

heyahoney
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

heyahoney

Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw

Total posts: 566
Posted:no, he is still in prison. I had just hooked up with Marshall b/c Sean told me to move on. I really just needed support, not really advice.

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

Delete

flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:Okay - fair enough... I hope everything works out okay for you heyahoney.

HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

Delete

Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:I thought there were 2 runners in the race to be daddy. If it's not his, he has no rights to see the child. If it is this mans, the child has a right to know who his/her father is. Hard as that maybe for you to bear it's not the childs fault. A child did not ask to be created. The child has a right to know where it has come from that includes the right to know it's father.

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

Delete

dani_babyboo
SILVER Member since Feb 2005

dani_babyboo

addict
Location: Cannock, staffordshire

Total posts: 667
Posted:skulduggery not in every situation does a child need to know there father

in some situations and circumstances it is better for them to not know till they are old enough to make there own minds up its called protecting them


enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token

o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek

stepped up promotions

Delete

heyahoney
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

heyahoney

Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw

Total posts: 566
Posted:i had to get a ambeosentesis and marshall made me get a dna test. it is his

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

Delete

myco
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

myco


Location: melbourne, victoria, australia

Total posts: 2084
Posted:ok, i'm really not sure of what the legal issues with having marshall's name on the birth cert are, but you should be able to get an intervention order (or maybe they're called restraining orders in the US?) even if you aren't able to prove that he abused you. it is a horrible feeling not being taken seriously be the cops, who are paid to protect you, and i'm sorry that you had to go through that.

Written by: thegreatBJ
rape allegations arent taken seriously anymore (especially if its rape in a relationship) because of all the stupid shitty women who have lied about it to get back at their boyfriends



there is a huge misconception about the amount of women that lie about rape for revenge, this myth is usually perpetuated by the rapists and their friends so that the claims aren't taken seriously. however rape claims are taken a lot more seriously thesedays then in the past, especially marital rape, which wasn't considered a crime for a long time. there is a much higher number of people who don't report rapes at all then there are people that falsly report rapes. (I'm not trying to have a go at you, it's just one of those things i get fired up about)


Delete