Forums > Social Chat > 101 things I learned from movies
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veteran
1,286 posts
Location: My House, United Kingdom
veteran
1,286 posts
Location: My House, United Kingdom
Posted:
Ok seen this done on another forum, and it was quite funny, so i thought i'd thief the idea. basically you put things that movies taught you
I'll Start
#1. Every phone number in the US starts with 555-.......
#2. The best way to take over a planet is to park giant space ships over major landmarks and blow them to bits
Ok seen this done on another forum, and it was quite funny, so i thought i'd thief the idea. basically you put things that movies taught you
I'll Start
#1. Every phone number in the US starts with 555-.......
#2. The best way to take over a planet is to park giant space ships over major landmarks and blow them to bits
Proudly Owned By The BMVC
Are You Sniffing My Mitten?
HOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK
Posted:
To be honest guys I can’t believe you forgot these sacred ruled as delivered to us by the great Jamie Kennedy in The ultimate teen slasher flick: Wes Craven’s SCREAM:
RANDY’S RULES TO SURVIVING A MOVIE:
1. One, you can never have sex. Big no-no. Sex always equals death.
2. Two, never drink or do drugs. The sin factor. It's an extension of number one.
3. And, three, never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say ‘I’ll be right back’” cuz u won’t
Plus these that I thought of all by myself! (and they said I had no brain…
)
There is no posh or cockney accent, only a bad mix of the two:
“alirgh’ m’ducky, ‘ows ‘bout a splendid cup of tea, what?”
You can hold your breath forever UNLESS someone has their hands round your neck, in which case, you are Johnson, you are about to die nice n slow.
To be honest guys I can’t believe you forgot these sacred ruled as delivered to us by the great Jamie Kennedy in The ultimate teen slasher flick: Wes Craven’s SCREAM:
RANDY’S RULES TO SURVIVING A MOVIE:
1. One, you can never have sex. Big no-no. Sex always equals death.
2. Two, never drink or do drugs. The sin factor. It's an extension of number one.
3. And, three, never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say ‘I’ll be right back’” cuz u won’t
Plus these that I thought of all by myself! (and they said I had no brain…
)There is no posh or cockney accent, only a bad mix of the two:
“alirgh’ m’ducky, ‘ows ‘bout a splendid cup of tea, what?”
You can hold your breath forever UNLESS someone has their hands round your neck, in which case, you are Johnson, you are about to die nice n slow.
D.B.
X x X x X
Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!
Master of the Free Hug Program
addict
666 posts
Location: Netherlands
666 posts
Location: Netherlands
Posted:
Always bring a spare flashlight.
Avoid walking backwards.
And that the sound that punching someone in the faces makes, sounds exactly like a turnip getting squished witha sledgehammer.
Always bring a spare flashlight.
Avoid walking backwards.
And that the sound that punching someone in the faces makes, sounds exactly like a turnip getting squished witha sledgehammer.
Come forth and thou shalt win enternal happiness. but he came fifth so he won an electric toatser.
BRONZE Member
I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
453 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
453 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posted:
Any kind of martial art fighting sounds like two sticks being knocked together.
And people who do martial arts can move so fast you hear the sound of their hands whistling through the air.
No-one ever makes embarassing noises during sex
Any kind of martial art fighting sounds like two sticks being knocked together.
And people who do martial arts can move so fast you hear the sound of their hands whistling through the air.
No-one ever makes embarassing noises during sex
Boo x
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
this one stems from watching jason x last night.
ok so you've found two frozen 400 year old bodies, one of a woman with a stab wound and the other of a 7 foot tall machetti wielding, hockey mask wearing psycopathic killer..........................
i know lets thaw them both out
this one stems from watching jason x last night.
ok so you've found two frozen 400 year old bodies, one of a woman with a stab wound and the other of a 7 foot tall machetti wielding, hockey mask wearing psycopathic killer..........................
i know lets thaw them both out member
57 posts
Location: Wilts
57 posts
Location: Wilts
Posted:
I learned last week never to go to skull island and fall in love with a giant ape. It'll only end in distaster.
By the way, did anyone else notice / get annoyed by the girl not actually juggling? The stones were added in after aaah it looked so rubbish.
I learned last week never to go to skull island and fall in love with a giant ape. It'll only end in distaster.
By the way, did anyone else notice / get annoyed by the girl not actually juggling? The stones were added in after aaah it looked so rubbish.
resident fridge magnet
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posted:
If you are the cool, hardcore, sh*t-kicking female lead, don't worry: your skimpy halter-top/midrif & thigh-displaying cocktail dress/stainless-steel brassiere will provide you with just as much protection as the male lead's full body armour. Your 4-inch stiletto heels are as good as a pair of trainers or combat boots for running in any day.
If you are the cool, hardcore, sh*t-kicking female lead, don't worry: your skimpy halter-top/midrif & thigh-displaying cocktail dress/stainless-steel brassiere will provide you with just as much protection as the male lead's full body armour. Your 4-inch stiletto heels are as good as a pair of trainers or combat boots for running in any day.
everyone's unique except me
SILVER Member
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Posted:
Don't EVER go to a place called Skull Island. What are you? Nuts? Actually, don't ever go anywhere near a place with Skull in the name - more than likely it'll be a bad move.
And no matter how tattered it becomes during the adventure no 18+ flesh will be reveled, ensuring tittlation without getting a money killing NC17 certificate
Written by: stringmealong
I learned last week never to go to skull island and fall in love with a giant ape. It'll only end in distaster.
Don't EVER go to a place called Skull Island. What are you? Nuts? Actually, don't ever go anywhere near a place with Skull in the name - more than likely it'll be a bad move.
Written by: Nephtys
If you are the cool, hardcore, sh*t-kicking female lead, don't worry: your skimpy halter-top/midrif & thigh-displaying cocktail dress/stainless-steel brassiere will provide you with just as much protection as the male lead's full body armour.
And no matter how tattered it becomes during the adventure no 18+ flesh will be reveled, ensuring tittlation without getting a money killing NC17 certificate
Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.
BRONZE Member
Zebberdy and Jack Daniels
278 posts
Location: Swansea, south wales
Zebberdy and Jack Daniels
278 posts
Location: Swansea, south wales
Posted:
Funny how computer's Pop, Fizz and Spark up when they get shot, but they still work afterwards...
Funny how computer's Pop, Fizz and Spark up when they get shot, but they still work afterwards...
The only reason i'm scared of little kid's is because I know in ten year's time they'll be mugging me.....
BRONZE Member
Look I've changed my title!
209 posts
Location: England
Look I've changed my title!
209 posts
Location: England
Posted:
This thread made me google ninjas..... check this site out, it roxors
real ultimate power
This thread made me google ninjas..... check this site out, it roxors
real ultimate power anthrax.... it infects, then spreads..... fast
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
* If it's between 1914 and 1945 and you're German - You're going to die.
* If it's between 1945 and 1990 and you're Russian - You're going to die.
* Unless, of course, you're an attractive female, then you get to sleep with the attractive male lead good-guy...then die.
* If it's 1990 to now and you're Arabic - You're going to die.
* If it's between 1914 and 1945 and you're German - You're going to die.
* If it's between 1945 and 1990 and you're Russian - You're going to die.
* Unless, of course, you're an attractive female, then you get to sleep with the attractive male lead good-guy...then die.
* If it's 1990 to now and you're Arabic - You're going to die.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
addict
666 posts
Location: Netherlands
666 posts
Location: Netherlands
Posted:
If it's your first time on an away team - your gonna die
If it's your first time on an away team - your gonna die
Come forth and thou shalt win enternal happiness. but he came fifth so he won an electric toatser.
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
* female exchange students will always get some.
* male ones are less lucky.
* female exchange students will always get some.
* male ones are less lucky.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Oh, blankets for couples have an "L" shaped top end so that they cover the woman up to above the breasts, but only cover the man up to the waist.
Oh, blankets for couples have an "L" shaped top end so that they cover the woman up to above the breasts, but only cover the man up to the waist.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
resident fridge magnet
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posted:
Doc, i was going to be all pedantic and say that one had already been done... then i went back to look for it, only to find that the person who mentioned it - Neon Shaolin - had also already made my point about the stilettos in the very same post
pedant, smack thyself in the head
Doc, i was going to be all pedantic and say that one had already been done... then i went back to look for it, only to find that the person who mentioned it - Neon Shaolin - had also already made my point about the stilettos in the very same post pedant, smack thyself in the head
everyone's unique except me
Clubbles Jugs
1,687 posts
Location: Manchester
1,687 posts
Location: Manchester
Posted:
Talisa Soto is
Also, whenever someone dies in a war/battle scene (who is "important") there's a brief moment when the battle stops and it all goes quiet.
That films in languages other than English are [nearly] always interesting.
Talisa Soto is
Also, whenever someone dies in a war/battle scene (who is "important") there's a brief moment when the battle stops and it all goes quiet.
That films in languages other than English are [nearly] always interesting.
ah wah wah wah a wah wah
SILVER Member
Friendly Fire Fiddler
103 posts
Location: Munich, Germany
Friendly Fire Fiddler
103 posts
Location: Munich, Germany
Posted:
All friendly Aliens speak fluent English, while mean aliens are mute.
When chased by a monster, hide in place that doenst allow you to escape, like a cellar or one-door shach in the woods. the hero will find you there in time, unless you're male or his brother.
The way to win the final fight against the mean guy is to wait until he has killed your brother.
Wise men utter advice that only becomes clear when the story is over. Do what they say word by word if you want to survive ...
Never compliment your mate in a war, as he will die.
Elevators are always there exactly when you need them, so are taxis.
The only place to read a love letter is in pouring rain.
All friendly Aliens speak fluent English, while mean aliens are mute.
When chased by a monster, hide in place that doenst allow you to escape, like a cellar or one-door shach in the woods. the hero will find you there in time, unless you're male or his brother.
The way to win the final fight against the mean guy is to wait until he has killed your brother.
Wise men utter advice that only becomes clear when the story is over. Do what they say word by word if you want to survive ...
Never compliment your mate in a war, as he will die.
Elevators are always there exactly when you need them, so are taxis.
The only place to read a love letter is in pouring rain.
SILVER Member
Friendly Fire Fiddler
103 posts
Location: Munich, Germany
Friendly Fire Fiddler
103 posts
Location: Munich, Germany
Posted:
when you look at a phone intensly, it will ring. dont worry, its never your mother.
all memories are balck and white, all dreams are foggy.
all surviving cops are your friends in the end.
laser guns dont need reloading
the good guy can swing on any rope or tree brach, it will always hold
the rope bridge in the jungle holds the hero, starts crumpling below the beauty while it breaks under the bad guy for the crocs
jungle warrier never find you behind a tiny branch
when you look at a phone intensly, it will ring. dont worry, its never your mother.
all memories are balck and white, all dreams are foggy.
all surviving cops are your friends in the end.
laser guns dont need reloading
the good guy can swing on any rope or tree brach, it will always hold
the rope bridge in the jungle holds the hero, starts crumpling below the beauty while it breaks under the bad guy for the crocs
jungle warrier never find you behind a tiny branch
Unofficial Lord Of Confusion And Pirate Extrodinaire
1,363 posts
Location: Nuneaton
1,363 posts
Location: Nuneaton
Posted:
Computers more often than not are running a weird OS that you've never seen before or since.
Or
Macintosh's are somehow always running windows
Computers more often than not are running a weird OS that you've never seen before or since.
Or
Macintosh's are somehow always running windows
Some men see things and say why....
I Dream of things that never were and say Why Not....?
Oh No I'm going to get Shot Alive if he finds out - DA 
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
Laptops have limitless power even when they're not plugged in and internet connection (pre-wireless days) without cables.
Laptops have limitless power even when they're not plugged in and internet connection (pre-wireless days) without cables.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
Flying high!
245 posts
Location: At the beach.
245 posts
Location: At the beach.
Posted:
Car tyres will always screech when you Pull away, Stop, go round a corner.
There will always be a big pile of boxes or bins in the middle of an alley way for the above car to smash into.
The above car will always blow up at the end of the chase.
You can run up 10+ flites of stairs without getting tired, stopping of at every floor to see the elevator go past.
The camera man will never help out.
When you hear scarry music, something will jump out at you.
EDITED_BY: kiteman (1136882440)
Car tyres will always screech when you Pull away, Stop, go round a corner.
There will always be a big pile of boxes or bins in the middle of an alley way for the above car to smash into.
The above car will always blow up at the end of the chase.
You can run up 10+ flites of stairs without getting tired, stopping of at every floor to see the elevator go past.
The camera man will never help out.
When you hear scarry music, something will jump out at you.
EDITED_BY: kiteman (1136882440)
If everything seems under control, your not going fast enough!
It's not the size of the wave, it's the length of the ride!
SILVER Member
Friendly Fire Fiddler
103 posts
Location: Munich, Germany
Friendly Fire Fiddler
103 posts
Location: Munich, Germany
Posted:
The fastest way to get from the roof of a building is to simply jump into a garbage container. Soft landing guaranteed ...
Cloth dry and stains disappear in a few seconds ...
Any decent hero can fly a helicopter, curse in Chinese or Russian at the mean guys if needs be ...
The fastest way to get from the roof of a building is to simply jump into a garbage container. Soft landing guaranteed ...
Cloth dry and stains disappear in a few seconds ...
Any decent hero can fly a helicopter, curse in Chinese or Russian at the mean guys if needs be ...
GOLD Member
is a medium/large scary man
420 posts
Location: Victoria, Australia, Earth, Milky Way...
is a medium/large scary man
420 posts
Location: Victoria, Australia, Earth, Milky Way...
Posted:
Crosses, Bibles and Zippos will stop a bullet anytime... (who need a kevlar vest?)
Crosses, Bibles and Zippos will stop a bullet anytime... (who need a kevlar vest?)
Contact juggling was invented by dung beetles.
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
So will anything your love interest gave you.
And I was watching cartoons this morning and remembered that the object you want or the object that will move, is a slightly different shade to the ones around it.
So will anything your love interest gave you.
And I was watching cartoons this morning and remembered that the object you want or the object that will move, is a slightly different shade to the ones around it.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
A cough is a sign of terminal illness....
A cough is a sign of terminal illness....
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
GOLD Member
is a medium/large scary man
420 posts
Location: Victoria, Australia, Earth, Milky Way...
is a medium/large scary man
420 posts
Location: Victoria, Australia, Earth, Milky Way...
Posted:
Listen for uplifting music... It always means you can do something you've never been able to do before
*"The Chase" plays* I think I'll go and try catching my staff with my teeth now...
Listen for uplifting music... It always means you can do something you've never been able to do before
*"The Chase" plays* I think I'll go and try catching my staff with my teeth now...
Contact juggling was invented by dung beetles.
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
Not to mention, consumption is a very romantic way to die!
Written by: Neon Shaolin
A cough is a sign of terminal illness....
Not to mention, consumption is a very romantic way to die!
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
GOLD Member
is a medium/large scary man
420 posts
Location: Victoria, Australia, Earth, Milky Way...
is a medium/large scary man
420 posts
Location: Victoria, Australia, Earth, Milky Way...
Posted:
*Copious ammounts of asprin are a cure for just about everything...
*The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris
*If being chased through the streets, you can usually blend in to a passing parade. (There always just happend to be one)
*Anyone can land a plane if there's a manual or someone in the tower to talk you through it.
*If you're a cop DON'T RETIRE, You'll be killed less than 3 day before you do...
*All zombies roaming the streets have only been bit once or twice, yet when a zombie gets someone on screen they always tear them to pieces
*Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead
*Copious ammounts of asprin are a cure for just about everything...
*The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris
*If being chased through the streets, you can usually blend in to a passing parade. (There always just happend to be one)
*Anyone can land a plane if there's a manual or someone in the tower to talk you through it.
*If you're a cop DON'T RETIRE, You'll be killed less than 3 day before you do...
*All zombies roaming the streets have only been bit once or twice, yet when a zombie gets someone on screen they always tear them to pieces
*Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead
Contact juggling was invented by dung beetles.
SILVER Member
veteran
1,286 posts
Location: My House, United Kingdom
veteran
1,286 posts
Location: My House, United Kingdom
Posted:
you can fall out of a plane for any distance, and land on another plane/bird/hot air ballon/anything that isnt touching the floor completly unharmed
you can fall out of a plane for any distance, and land on another plane/bird/hot air ballon/anything that isnt touching the floor completly unharmed
Proudly Owned By The BMVC
Are You Sniffing My Mitten?
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
going sci-fi............has anyone noticed how alien space craft always have the correct docking clamps that fit human space crafts air locks????
is it a universal law that all space craft must have these fitted???
going sci-fi............has anyone noticed how alien space craft always have the correct docking clamps that fit human space crafts air locks????
is it a universal law that all space craft must have these fitted???
SILVER Member
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Posted:
All space ships (for all species of creature) use the same orination for "up"
All space ships (for all species of creature) use the same orination for "up"
Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.
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