Forums > Social Chat > Why? What's the point? What's that all about? Confused rant thread.
Login/Join to ParticipateI invented the decaffinated coffee table.
453 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
Why do old ladies put fluffy covers on the toilet seat covers - is it to keep them warm, or to be cushiony if they need to sit on them?
Why do they also put specially shaped bits of carpetty-stuff on the floor around the base of the toilet? Is it in case the boys miss? Isn't it just a bit weird?
Why did Tyrannosaurus Rex's have little front paws. Is that why they were so angry all the time? Surely it would have been a better design to have long, scary looking paws?
Why, when my computer tells me that it's closing down cos I've performed an "illegal operation" doesit only give me the choice to click a box saying "ok".
No.
It is not.
OK.
Finally. Why, when I need to scream - like if someone jumps out at me in an "oh so funny" way, do I just make an odd "oooaaauuurgghhh" noise? Isn't it meant to scare away predators, screaming? What kind of predator would be scared away by that? It's not even that loud.
Come on, join me in my confused about stuff rant.
Boo x
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
yeah!!! and why do people seem to think that the closer they get behind you in a que the quicker it will move?
I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
"is it in case the boys miss?"
In a word.... yes
I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
453 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
Eeeuuugggwwwhhhh
(similar to the noise I make when I scream, but more disgusted)
Isn't that really unhygenic? Unless they wash it daily (and I'm pretty sure they don't).
Other options:
Train boys how to pee - rig up an electric circuit so when they miss thy get a shock - conditioning, Pavlov was onto something.
Disposable toilet floor covers. Flushable.
A tube boys can pee down so that it goes straight into the toilet.
Why don't boys just pee sitting down?
Grrrr.
A bit ranty today
Boo x
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
"A tube boys can pee down so that it goes straight into the toilet."
Thats genuis that is.
Pure genius
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
There is a company that produces these tubes. I've seen it on a comedy show, they used to present the find of the week. There's a similar tube with a funnel for women who don't want to sit down, it's called Urinella. For your information, Uriella (without the n) is head of a sect in southern Germany whose disciples drink her bath water.
According to another comedian, the funny-shaped things around the bottoms of loos are also there to collect "up to 12 different flavours of pubic hair" after parties.
To add another confused question, can you end something that's never started? I claimed I could a few days ago, but need support
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
why is it................that when ever i got to the shops for 1 simple thing like rolling pappers.........EVERY bloody granny in the world has decended on my local shops!!!! not only that, they all have baskets FULL of stuff and take ages!!!!
i only want a 25pence pack of ciggy papers *wimpers*
HURRY UP AND DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
what's the difference between a bowl and a dish?
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
isn't a dish shallower than a bowl?
I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.
Pooh-Bah
1,848 posts
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia
a dish is flatter.
"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie
"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie
1,687 posts
Location: Manchester
a bowl is a bad haircut, a dish has a good haircut
ah wah wah wah a wah wah
I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
453 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
A dish is more flexible.
You can dish things up in a dish.
You can't bowl things up.
Not unless the letters get in the wrong places, then it's just messy.
But can you dish things up from a bowl?
And can you bowl a dish?
I'm getting myself all confused.
And have images of throwing Sean Bean down a bowling alley.
Boo x
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
I have a few...
Why do farts always smell beefy in the bath - does the water act like a bong - purifying it?
Why does toast fall butterside down?
Why is it I'm the only one who cleans the toilet bowl?
Why does my wireless connection suck so much?
When will I win the lottery?
Why is fire so pretty?
Why are babies so darn cute? (tickles the baby)
Why do we do things that are bad for us?
If men get hard ons, do women get wide ons?
Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible
I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
453 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
I totally agree with the toilet bowl one - how annoying, and grim, is that?
Why don't we have self-cleaning toilet bowls? What was teflon made for if not that?
If toast lands butter side down, what happens if you tie buttered toast (butter side up) to the back of a a cat and drop it form a height?
Why haven't they invented band-aids with anasthetic that gets released as you rip them off?
Why are people confused by deck chairs? They're quite simple really.
Boo x
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
If you tie toast to a cat, then they hover inches off the ground, rotating slowly. Go on, someone try and prove me wrong
(And I will buy tickets to see someone try to tie something to a cat's back...)
CCGs... WHY??????
After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,191 posts
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia
Written by: TinklePants
If men get hard ons, do women get wide ons?
**snigger**.....um...i guess so!
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
Written by: DrBoo
Why do they also put specially shaped bits of carpetty-stuff on the floor around the base of the toilet? Is it in case the boys miss? Isn't it just a bit weird?
Keeps yer feet warm
Come to think of it, that in combination with your suggestion... Freaking ewwwwwwwwwwwww!
*washes feet hundreds of times*
The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
with added berries
1,365 posts
Location: Manchester, England (UK)
Written by: TinklePants
Why does toast fall butterside down?
Belive it of not, some scientist actually got paid to research into this. The reason is that tables and work surfaces are of a general average height that only lets the piece of toast rotate 1/2 a turn (or could be 1 and a half, can't remeber!), toast is pretty much always placed on the table butter facing up, and so when it falls it will always land butter side down. This also works when you think about in terms of the height your hands will be if were holding the toast.
So now you know!
Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
i'm sure the mythbusters tried to figure this one out too!
Actually it dont really matter - i just pick the fluff off.
ooooh a hair...
hang on its a pube! eeewww
Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
why do people actually LIKE manele?
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
why do some people think reading is boring?
I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.
1,687 posts
Location: Manchester
because they read boring books.
why is friday afternoon so boring?
why do farts smell?
ah wah wah wah a wah wah
I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
453 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
Why is the public transport system in this country so damn useless? Grrrr. I only want to go to London for the weekend without completely wrecking the environment, or it taking forever, or costing me my entire savings - how could it possibly cost more to go by plane than train? How? Why? Grrrrrrrrrr.
Why do only cats get to have 9 lives? What makes them so special?
Boo x
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
why do people tell you you shouldn't date someone and then when asked why say "oh, he's prolly changed, i only really knew him two years ago"
*expressive sigh*
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
why is friday and saturday night telly soooooooooo god damd poo???
I invented the decaffinated coffee table.
453 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
Yes.
And why haven't Blockbusters and Dominos got together to deliver your film and Pizza to your door.
Surely if you want to watch a DVD doesn't that mean you don't plan on going out? Then why should you have to actually go out to get the darned thing?
Boo x
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If it costs "a penny for your thoughts", but people give you their "two-pence worth", who is getting the extra penny?
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
netflix.....
and there's another one, its like green-something.... supposedly betetr actually...
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Kyrian stop smokedy da crack
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
Written by: ravehead
why is friday and saturday night telly soooooooooo god damd poo???
Because everyone is out drinking
The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
smart arse
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
I'm not...
I have no money. Tripled my caloric intake earlier with some sushi someone bought me tho.... Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
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