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Forums > Social Chat > Worst Fears Coming to Life

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the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:What do you do when your worst fear comes true?

My parents called child protective services on me stating that I am not stable enough for my child. So now councellors and police are investigating me.
My family disapproves of my career (performing) and have been treating me really shitty since my accident. I have swallowed it all so that they could still see my son, because I believe it is important for him to be around family. Those of you who know me know that Noah (my son) is my world. I do my damndest to provide him with a good home, people who care about him, all the love he can absorb...
Thing is, I won't lose him. I know this. However, it just brings all the insecurities I have about being a mother to the surface, and it kills me that my family would do something like this to me.
I am really breaking down here, and just needed to vent. Any advice is welcome.


Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:Pele, I dont know what to say. I can not believe that anyones parents would do something like that. Your not unstable, your still recovering from a lifetheatining accident.

My goodness, I am sorry but this really pisses me off. If you need anything please let me know.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:Oooh, I hate this. The problem is that when CPS gets involved, you have to prove that you're innocent.

Pele, get through this. I just can't see you losing him.

And then when it's over, maybe it's time to separate yourself from them. After all, if they could try to take your son from you, they can't really be family, can they?

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


old hand
Location: Nottingham UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2001
Total posts: 950
Posted:As a parent myself I offer you my deepest sympathy for what you are going through. I can only begin to imagine how you must feel, and that it must be a horrid place to be right now. I hope everything works out for you. I don't think you'll lose Noah. But if it were me I would probably never speak to the family members involved again.

Here's a big heap of Hugs to keep you going should you need them.

Are we nearly there yet?


The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 8th Nov 2001
Total posts: 2523
Posted:oh Pele,
massive **hugs**

have faith in love

it will all turn out right in the end,
I don't know how,
but it always does.

(if youd seen the blanket, you'd understand that below is the very best i can do in the line of top of the range delux hug-o-saurus rex)

**extra big massive bear hugs wrapped up in a snow leopard blanket**

Enjoy the path, but keep an eye on your sheep


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK
Member Since: 19th Dec 2001
Total posts: 3009
Posted:Pele, you have my thoughts at this most awful time.

I'm a firm believer in family, and I can't imagine how awful it would be to have your family betray you in such a way.

Stay strong and remember that the pain you are feeling is also the love you feel for your son. Your intense and powerful love for each other is your strongest and most important attribute. It is your reason for life. And this is what makes you a true mother. Nothing can ever erode that or take it away, so fear not.

Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Member Since: 28th Mar 2002
Total posts: 249
Posted:i dont really know what you can say over the net at a time like this. all i can say is that my thoughts are with you

be strong

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:Pele I know I am miles & miles away, but if there is anything I can do, from rude jokes to make you laugh, to signing an affadavit that says how much concern you have displayed for your son on this site, I will do it.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There
Member Since: 6th Apr 2002
Total posts: 6140
Posted:*give Pele a big pink *

Stay strong, and everything should work itself out.

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...


Location: London
Member Since: 13th Dec 2000
Total posts: 2211

What can I say Stay brave and if you need character references you have thousands here on HOP.

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England
Member Since: 3rd Sep 2001
Total posts: 2629
Posted:I don't think I could put anything in words that'd help or make you feel better, so have a few z instead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.


HOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
Location: Canterbury, UK
Member Since: 5th Nov 2002
Total posts: 1079
Posted:Dude that's reall fuckin shitty. Im currently contesting my dad's application for residency over me and my brother. He's a Proffesional bullshitter (salesman) who lives in nowheresville suburbia, been through 4 wives, beat them all, and now he deems hackney, where he Forced my mum to move to when they were together, unsafe for a child to live in. In my experience it's the "fuckin hippies" as he calls anyone who thinks indi and twirls, that make the best parents. Your life is yours, and while Noah does need a stable home i don't see real any difference between your performing as that of a TV actor. If Noah is the centre of your universe then im so happy for you both. Your parents dont agree with your personality, and i can empathise with that. Take care, and just be there for Noah, thats the best you can do.
Luv and lolli pops to you both

X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:Pele trust in yourself. You can get through this. All will be well and Noah will be yours no one can take that right away from you.

I suggest that after it is all said and done you confront those who are doing this and politely tell them why what they have done has hurt you so.

The key is do this calmly let them see your point of view.

if they cannot accept you then they dont deserve to see him. They might influence your child later on in life. Do you want that? More like: are you prepared for that?

All will be well Pele just stay strong and everything will work out soon enough.

Love and hugs from across the sea to you and lovely Noah,



*shiny shiny*
Location: Townsville, QLD, Aust.
Member Since: 23rd Sep 2002
Total posts: 218
Posted:daymn that sucks!!!

like others- i dunno what to say! this is shocking. but- as we say down inder- she'll be right mate. and it will be! you and noah will be happy forever! and it will prove to your family (not that u have anything tp prove anyway) that anything anyone throws in your way will stop you loving and caring for your child.

you have all my love thought, Pele.

And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go. It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.


Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:I'm at work here... in between parent conferences coincidentally so I don't have time to write much. Then again, I'm sort of speechless but I did want to give you a huge internet hug. It's unfortunate, not only that people are making your life difficult, but that they are hurting Noah in the process.

Keep on being the wonderful parent you are and don't ever let the frustrations get to your sweet little guy...

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:I am sooooooo sorry.......

Suddenly nothing I've ever been thru seems even remotely unfair.

Small Lardy Person In Disguise

Location: Southampton
Member Since: 2nd Dec 2001
Total posts: 382
Posted:The truth will be known to these people, they will see how good a mother you are and they will see a stable and loving home.

Have no fear Pele, there is no substitute for a great mothers love. Best of luck.

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words...


the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:Thanks everyone. Iappreciate the support. I have tried to write my family a note, but I just don't know where to start.

Anyway, Noah and I were interviewed seperately today by the CPS. I will be hearing in a few days what is going on. *sigh* The waiting game ensues.

They were told I am a drunken druggie (no offense to anyone who does partake, but I *never* have and found this accusation offensive).
I was reported as an abuser living out of my car in a slummy unsafe area, though that was very easy to disprove (we are living in a really nice home in a nice suburb). That I hurt my child physically (perish the thought! ). That I starve and neglect my son . THat I leave him completely unattended for long periods of time (he is NEVER without an adult in earshot!).
This list just went on. My friend was here and she was offended for me. It was not pretty.
But, I maintained composure. I did not cry (yet today), and I answered all of her questions honestly and openly, offering her evidence if need be.
I can only hope now, so hope/pray/wish for us. I can't lose my son, I just can't....

[ 07 November 2002, 19:40: Message edited by: Pele ]

Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK


HOP admin
Location: HOP
Member Since: 18th Nov 2003
Total posts: 985
Posted:We are sending all the good vibes, prayers and wishes we can. Be strong Pele, we are all beside you.

Malcolm, Cherry and 7

"May your balls always burn"

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:And I think it is highly unlikely that you will lose you son, sweety. These accusations sound so far from the truth, and easy to disprove with the testimony of your son and your friends.

The allegations are rude and just plain wrong.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Jade Lynx
Location: Laguna Beach, but i live in De...
Member Since: 19th May 2002
Total posts: 239

A prayer for you to the Mother...

For the good of all, may truth and love prevail, that your son can stay safely in his true home, and that your parents can come to understand that who you really are is a good and loving mother.

*As we will, so may it be*

We got the MikeZ in the house, woot!Glue the ham, hat baby!

Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Member Since: 28th Mar 2002
Total posts: 249
Posted:keep us informed, my thoughts are still with you...cant imagine what you're going through...

Location: Brisbane, Qld, Australia
Member Since: 8th Mar 2001
Total posts: 383
Posted:ack..wish I'd seen this one a little earlier...

You definitely have my thoughts too, Pele.

I would wait until the stress of the situation has blown over (I can't imagine you losing your son either!) - and then have a good sit down with the family members involved in this.

Could it be they just love Noah to death too... and that what they did was in fact just a misguided act of love? (I think what they did was terrible, don't get me wrong!) Cos that would be better than them doing it just to try and mess you up..

I mean... hmm.. I know agreeing to disagree is the best possible option you guys probably have but at least there's a kind of peace then that they won't try and make anymore trouble for you once they see you are doing great. (And obviously without any of their support!)

hmmm...good luck with it *really* .. and me and a thousand billion other ppl are here for ya too..

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.- B.B.King


Member Since: 17th Jun 2002
Total posts: 68
Posted:I'd just like to add to these people supporting you. I don't post here much but I do read quite a lot and I'm coming out of my silence a bit to say that I hope everything turns out well for you.

I would say "good luck" but you don't need luck. There shouldn't be any "chance" to do with this subject. I'll just pray that the child protective services people know what they're doing and will see the truth behind the lies that they were told.

Are we there yet?
Location: australia
Member Since: 14th Mar 2001
Total posts: 1897
Posted:Pele, I don't have any advice, but am sending vibes of support Hope it all works out alright in the end.


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK
Member Since: 19th Dec 2001
Total posts: 3009
Posted:That's awful Pele! As the allegations are so obviously flase lets hope they realise that they've been dragged into a family feud, not a neglect case.

Best of luck!

Location: NY, USA
Member Since: 10th Apr 2001
Total posts: 336
Posted:Pele I am so...

No, you know what, I'll email you. Think it will mean more that way.

Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...

Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:why are good parents called on, and bad ones let run amok? I am so confused by society. All the best to ya pele,

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

confused and abused
Location: bristol
Member Since: 26th Jun 2002
Total posts: 363
i cannot claim to be the most experienced person when it comes to life but what i have to offer is all yours.
It sounds to me as if this is a time to weigh up EVERYTHING in your life and prioritise them. This is easy in your own head. I do not know you very well but you are a hugely respected figure in this site and have inspired many people and we (i included) have benefited greatly from your presence.
The only person to have a solution to this situation is you. May i suggest that you need to explain to yourself why you prioritised the aspects of your life and also why in that particular order.
I am hoping and guessing that family and performing are the basis of your self.
Please and i cannot state enough how much that what i am about to say is completely unbiased and without malice.
Question why the authorities want to carry out the action. find out the exact source of their reason. Ask yourself is this true. If so correct it. And if untrue (as i truly hope it is)disprove them.
There cannot be a worse moment in life when love is questioned. And only you know the answer.

Sending thoughts and love to you
Keep inspiring us


My cat's breath smells like catfood


resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Member Since: 3rd Oct 2002
Total posts: 835
Posted:Pele, I can't believe this is happening to you, of all people! I don't know you except through your posts on this site - but judging by those I'd say you make a fantastic mother - and I'm sure the CPS will see this, too.

All my love,


everyone's unique except me


Member Since: 31st Oct 2002
Total posts: 43
Posted:your parents need to stay out of your life and let you ive they way you want to, they can be involved if you weant them to be or not be

i wish you the best of luck, keep hope, stay on your own path, and stay true to yourself and your son,

Non-Https Image Link
*Holds hand out for handshake*

Dicipline Focus Damage

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