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UCOF
UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:I thought this might be a good idea...dont know if any of you will. Basically...If you have seen a film recently...write a short report on it..but dont give the unexpected twist in the tale away. That way if your thinking about seeing a film or your not sure if your should or cant decide which one to see..you can say to yourself, whilst pointing at the celing in an "Ive just had and idea!" pose; "A-ha! I shall go and see The Home of Poi Film review board and then we shall decide!"

I shall go first.

I went and saw XXX yesterday...tasty.
Vin Diesel is on top form as is Sameul L. Jackson in this film. The special effects are fantastic (especially in the snowboard scene) as are the gadgets and cars. The basic story line is that Sameul L. Jackson works for the NSA who are trying to infiltrate a gang called Anarchy99 (bit out of date isnt it?) However as the members of Anarchy99 are ex-military they can smell the training of a secret agent a mile off. so Jackson is forced to recreit a Extreme sports tv star (Vin Diesel) to become the agent. And it goes from there. Vin Diesel has to infiltrate Anarchy99 in order to shut it down as they have stolen a super bug, created by the russians , codenamed "Silent Night" with which Anarchy99 plan to lauch missiles all over the world at major cities, london, washington, moscow, etc in order to dystroy order.

Great film i give it 8.5/10



jeff(fake)
jeff(fake)

Scientist of Fortune
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 15th Apr 2005
Total posts: 1189
Posted:Written by: Brit_Joe
all the charecters die, none survive at all.



Excellent. biggrin Can't abide by bad actors. ubblol


According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Dynamics, we may already be making love right now...


Domino
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 757
Posted:Heh, Final Destination - "Mousetrap" : The Movie.

Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.


animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:Written by: Fine_Rabid_Dog


Personally, I reckon the third was arse. AS with most Horror series... it gets lamer and lamer as it progresses down the title. The first was brilliant, the second allright, and the third had me laughing.





Unless you're watching 'A nightmare on Elm Street'.



I found the first one hilarious, and the rest were just a bit, well... sh!t, really.



I watched 'The Descent' last night. I need to watch it again before I can make a proper Judgement on it...


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.


Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:Watch out for something called The Hostel *shudders*

*runs off recieting Hail Marys*


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?


_Aime_
_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings
Member Since: 2nd Jan 2004
Total posts: 4172
Posted:The Decent is an awesome film. Saw it with the film society at college.
Lovely british horror film smile



Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:***POSSIBLE MILD SPOILERS FOR 'THE DESCENT'***
************************LOOK AWAY************************

Being a film student I'm kinda cursed with always reading into the symbolism of films, TV, any fictional medium really.

I really liked 'The Descent' as a horror film but I found myself reading it as a metaphor for blossoming womanhood. If the litteral 'baptism of blood scene' doesn't clinch it, I dunno what does.

Creature feature aside I loved the non creature elements, the rope scene in particular. OW!

Loved the suggestively bleak ending too... My head went into REALLY dark places with where things would go after the film...


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock


FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:Pink Panter... the movie has it's moments, but if you know and love the originals with Peter Sellers - don't bother... this one is never going to match up with them.

Steve Martin is not a bad actor and I love some of his movies, but in this one he's in no means matching up with Sellers.

Whoever wrote the script must have taken prozac and felt it is actually really funny. The movie seems to polarize - either you love it or you hate it...

I didn't hate it, but I would not even think about watching it another time (even on TV)... shrug


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink


TheSilverShadow
TheSilverShadow

Uncle Chop Chop
Location: Time is the Fire in which we b...
Member Since: 1st Aug 2003
Total posts: 213
Posted:Yeah i'll agree with peoples views on descent that film is class, very creepy some nice scary bits to make you jump and if you don't like small spaces all the worse for you smile.



Another good british flick is Dead Mans Shoes- don't know if this has been mentioned before but everyone should buy this film its great british cinema about a guy who comes back to his home town to act revenge upon the guys who torment his younger brother. not gonna give away too much don't wanna spoil it but i'd say it was a 5* film.



some more good films:-



Oldboy

Save the green planet



Oh yeah and Tinkle Twin Towns is mint!!! In no other film can you see godfather scenes performed with a little dog ubblol

EDITED_BY: TheSilverShadow (1143554148)


"Do you know what the Phantom is??"
--------------


Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Went to see 'Syriana'.



A bit like 'Traffic' in its mutli-story structure but focusing on American oil interests in the Middle-East. Written by ex-CIA agent (played by George Clooney in the film), the story flits between a CIA agent's assassination assignment, a US financial advisor's dealings with an idealistic Iranian Prince, an official investigating a oil company merger and a young poverty-stricken Iranian.



The film lacks focus and you have to really pay attention to understand who is who, (good luck remembering names on the first watch!). Definitely doesn't say anything that world-weary cynics like myself haven't heard before but is definitely food for thought in todays current climate.



(Try watching it without the temptation to shout 'Matt Damon!' every 10mins)


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock


FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:"Inside Man" - just went into offices here in Thailand.

IMHO, not just another action movie about the "perfect bankrobbery" but another masterpiece of Spike Lee.

Starring Denzel Washington, Willem Dafoe and Jodie Foster - a must see smile


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink


Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Saw a brilliant Anime film called 'Steamboy'

A very steakpunk tale of a boy who's father and grandfather have pioneered a new form of steampower that could potentially change the world.

It was just strange watching an Anime film set in London (along with a variety of colourful (i.e. dodgy) regional accents with the same sense of epic apocalyptic destruction usually seen in films like 'Akira' (well it was made by the same guy).


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock


Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997)



A film produced during the better years of cinema, before the [sarcasm]'magic formular' of super heroes and CGI's fantastic replacment of plot and diolouge[/sarcasm] and alien's trying to take over the world with ageing headline grabbing hollywood stars, this adeptation of snow white is a masterpiece of iconic performances and is visualy stunning.



Focusing on the main villainess Claudia Hoffman (Sigourney Weaver) who gradually decends into madness with the help of her stillborn child and the jelousy she feels toward her step daughter, and not forgetting a magic mirror, this darker version of a classic story delves into themes of cannabilism, rape, murder, witchcraft and in very small suggestive doses, incest. While all along including the familiar points of the disney tale (the seven dwarves, a magic mirror, the transformation of the wicked step mother into a crone, the poison apple and many more) but with added twists for this version.



All I can say its a wonderfull film enjoyable throughout, with an absoulutly iconic performance from Sigourney Weaver as a witch, never campy, never over the top, just pure vile villainy at its best.



5/5 stars


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?


faith enfire
faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin
Member Since: 27th Jan 2006
Total posts: 3556
Posted:what did you all think of Eragon
i thought it was like a movie cliffnotes version of the book
i was very disappointed


Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed


UCOF
UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:I watched the Transformers movie last night, and thoroughly enjoyed it smile


Brenn
Brenn

Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 28th Jun 2004
Total posts: 3286
Posted:I saw the latest installment of Rambo a week ago.

Being a Stallone film and said Stallone being in his 60's, I wasn't expecting too much of the film. However my expectations were blown away (pardon the pun).

If you love action and don't mind a few confronting scenes (And they are confronting, which is a lot coming from me considering I'm rarely phased by onscreen violence), you should be pleasantly surprised by Rambo.


ॐ

Owner of burningoftheclavey smile
Owned by Lost83spy


=Flashpoint=
=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...
Member Since: 1st Sep 2004
Total posts: 2719
Posted:I watched 2001 today.

IMHO, it was rubbish.

Too fecking arty by far. Dont get me wrong, I got it, but there was nothing happening. Just a lot of heavy breathing, no real suspense, and a lot of arty scenes of white spaceships against black backgrounds. There was nothing revealing about the stargate, either. It could have been a bit closer to the book.

Plus, like A Clockwork Orange, it's aged really badly. The acting is stilted. All the characters are a bit like Hal 9000, theyre all monotonous fools blindly obeying stuff. Fair enough, thats one point of the film, but it's just too damn arty. Little if no character development. It's like Kubrick didn't care about them, more like he wanted lots of pretty model shots.

Meh


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile


Fire_Moose
Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Member Since: 2nd May 2007
Total posts: 3597
Posted: Written by: =Flashpoint=


It's like Kubrick didn't care about them, more like he wanted lots of pretty model shots.




Ya......what is it, 45 mins before anyone speaks in 2001? But i gotta say....I'd totally go see it at an IMAX or something.

And while Clockwork was really arty I think what it's about trumps it's flaws....shrug




I just saw In Bruges this weekend and was thoughrouly impressed. I think i was laughing the whole way thru....lots of racism but all in good light. Highly reccomended.


O.B.E.S.E.

Owned by Mynci!


=Flashpoint=
=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...
Member Since: 1st Sep 2004
Total posts: 2719
Posted:Clockworks themes to indeed trump its flaws...

And 2001 is fair enough for the first bit, but the final bit once Dave reaches jupiter is too damned slow, an although you understand whats happening, its just too damn vague. More dialogue please! smile


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile


mcp
mcp

Flying Water Muppet
Location: Edin-borrow.
Member Since: 20th May 2003
Total posts: 5276
Posted:transformers is soooooo bad. But nowhere near as bad as 28 weeks later.

"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade

I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.


PinkNigel
PinkNigel

Pinker than thou
Location: A little pink world all my own...
Member Since: 4th May 2006
Total posts: 336
Posted: Written by: mcp


transformers is soooooo bad. But nowhere near as bad as 28 weeks later.



Hear hear!! (well, it's a close call betweeen the two, but the sentiment is spot on whichever way round those two movies go in that sentence...)

"Jumper" completely sucks too. When will "Hollywood" learn that Hayden Christensen CANNOT ACT!!! I've seen better amdram performances (and that's saying something, the amdram lot who perform at the church hall where our juggling club is are absolutely terrible...). I'm not sure whether it's Jumper or the remake of Wicker Man that stands as the most absolutely godawful film I've seen on the big screen...

More often than not these days I leave the cinema disappointed, I've seen plenty of movies lately that held some promise, only to find them wanting. Beowulf sucked (pretty grass, impressive dragon, but completely rubbish people and horses drawn by an eight year old, muffled soundtrack, complete lack of characterisation, and as for the comedic "cover up Beowulf's willy" contrivances....). Sweeney Todd really wasn't that good (looked good, but the visuals didn't go with Sondheim's score at all, nobody in it could sing, Johnny Depp's accent kept coming over all Jack Sparrow...).

I did like Black Sheep though. Not that it was great cinematography, or oscar-worthy performances, or profound and eloquent scripting, no, what it did do was know its place, have no pretentions and just go ahead and entertain.
Stardust worked for similar reasons.

But by far the best movie I've seen lately on a big screen?

The re-issue of "Dracula".


A wise man once said: "You have two ears and one mouth, therefore you should shut the censored up and listen" (though, to be fair, he might not've put it _quite_ like that..)


mcp
mcp

Flying Water Muppet
Location: Edin-borrow.
Member Since: 20th May 2003
Total posts: 5276
Posted:I haven't yet watched the awfulness that the new wicker man promises to be. I've resisted.

And it's not like I'm going to go to the cinema to watch jumper.

DayWatch looks alright thou... might have to watch NightWatch first thou.

Can there be any end to the number of plot holes in 28 Weeks Later? Can we have a thread entirely about them? Cos it will NEVER end.

Yeah, Beowulf wasn't as good as promised... thou it was more interesting than sweeney todd. It was irritatingly childish about the nudity, why not just leave the loincloth on? But it was interesting that it humanised beowulf so much.

In sweeney todd I was surprised they got pretty good voices out of the actors. And in some ways it was nice that they didn't have perfect singing voices. Thou the daughter and the dumbass young sailor and the kid/boy annoyed the hell out of me. In fact, most of the story annoyed me. Like the finger in pie moment at the end... And the white streak in depp's hair... But I'm sure teeny goths will adore it...

Stardust was enjoyable... and only mildly irritating in it's differences from the book.

Best film I've seen recently? Mr Brooks. Kevin Costner, but actually really interesting.


"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade

I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.


PinkNigel
PinkNigel

Pinker than thou
Location: A little pink world all my own...
Member Since: 4th May 2006
Total posts: 336
Posted: Written by: mcp



DayWatch looks alright thou... might have to watch NightWatch first thou.





Yes, and yes.
Russian version of Nightwatch is different to the international release, though not so much as it'd make a difference which of those you saw. Watching either version before Daywatch is important for understanding the setting and the characters' motivations (and for getting what the final scene is all about). I'd go for the complete double-bill immersion approach (.. looks up at dvd collection and knows what he'll be doing this evening...)


A wise man once said: "You have two ears and one mouth, therefore you should shut the censored up and listen" (though, to be fair, he might not've put it _quite_ like that..)


Fire_Moose
Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Member Since: 2nd May 2007
Total posts: 3597
Posted:Nightwatch was the one where they turn into animals? I think i saw that some time ago, it was pretty good.....if it's the one im thinking of.

I enjoyed sweenytodd and transformers, the trick with transformers is to think of it as an action flick and not worry that it's a terrible remake shrug

I saw Ocean's 13 last night and it was bad, i liked 11 and 12 and never saw the original but 13 was just plain dumb and un-original...The Doom Generation though was twisted and evil and i loved it, but i have a thing for Rose McGowen so hehe.


O.B.E.S.E.

Owned by Mynci!


mcp
mcp

Flying Water Muppet
Location: Edin-borrow.
Member Since: 20th May 2003
Total posts: 5276
Posted:terrible remake? it was a terrible action film!

All the movie going public wanted was a slow motion transformation sequence. Do we get that? Nope. In fact all fight scenes and transformation sequences should have been slow motion. Then it was would have absolutely rocked.


"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade

I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.


LazyAngel
LazyAngel

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Cambridge UK
Member Since: 29th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2895
Posted: Written by: mcp


I haven't yet watched the awfulness that the new wicker man promises to be



don't - just don't. You'll only want that part of your life back again.

Unless you feel like bitching about the film all the way through and how it's completely unlike the original, and gets all the characters wrong. Oh and is actually not even remotely scary.

Although what's even worse IMHO is the adaptation of Ursula Le Guin's 'Earthsea' trilogy. It wasn't even remotely like the book AND they mixed up the names/races!

[/rant]


Because ActiveAngel sounds like a feminine deodorant

Like sex, I'm much more interesting in real life than online.

'Be the change you want to see in the world around you' - Ghandi


=Flashpoint=
=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...
Member Since: 1st Sep 2004
Total posts: 2719
Posted:I just watched Equilibrium.

Cracking.

Watch it.

smile

[badpun]
If its so cracking, they should have called it "egg-uilibrium"
Its egg-cellent.
[/badpun]


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile


PinkNigel
PinkNigel

Pinker than thou
Location: A little pink world all my own...
Member Since: 4th May 2006
Total posts: 336
Posted: Written by: =Flashpoint=


I just watched Equilibrium.

Cracking.





Well, yes and no...
It does what it does fairly well, but it has absolutely nothing new to say - Brave New World/Logan's Run/1984/Minority Report/Farenheit 451 dystopian future of oppresion of the masses with post-Matrix choreography.


A wise man once said: "You have two ears and one mouth, therefore you should shut the censored up and listen" (though, to be fair, he might not've put it _quite_ like that..)


BurdaA
BurdaA

Sacrebleu
Location: At the quiet limit
Member Since: 20th Jul 2007
Total posts: 377
Posted:I liked or could stand most things about Transformers as an overly accepting 'action-fam-romp' fan, but having seen this

before hand made it as laughable as most of it's peers'.

Seven swords was my most recent joyventure... Go see!!


Poi(poi~y) n. : A Hawaiian food made from the tuber of the taro that is cooked, pounded to a paste, and fermented.
- part owner of Wooktastic


newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:I'm watching Fred Astaire movies tonight and they beat anything from the last 50 years hands down!

.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....


Fine_Rabid_Dog
Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 10530
Posted:I watched V for Vendetta this morning.

Cracker of a film. Best comic book movie ever biggrin


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."


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