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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 15414
Posted:I thought this might be a good idea...dont know if any of you will. Basically...If you have seen a film recently...write a short report on it..but dont give the unexpected twist in the tale away. That way if your thinking about seeing a film or your not sure if your should or cant decide which one to see..you can say to yourself, whilst pointing at the celing in an "Ive just had and idea!" pose; "A-ha! I shall go and see The Home of Poi Film review board and then we shall decide!"

I shall go first.

I went and saw XXX yesterday...tasty.
Vin Diesel is on top form as is Sameul L. Jackson in this film. The special effects are fantastic (especially in the snowboard scene) as are the gadgets and cars. The basic story line is that Sameul L. Jackson works for the NSA who are trying to infiltrate a gang called Anarchy99 (bit out of date isnt it?) However as the members of Anarchy99 are ex-military they can smell the training of a secret agent a mile off. so Jackson is forced to recreit a Extreme sports tv star (Vin Diesel) to become the agent. And it goes from there. Vin Diesel has to infiltrate Anarchy99 in order to shut it down as they have stolen a super bug, created by the russians , codenamed "Silent Night" with which Anarchy99 plan to lauch missiles all over the world at major cities, london, washington, moscow, etc in order to dystroy order.

Great film i give it 8.5/10


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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Butbutbut.. the ultimate question - is it just trying to rip off the success of Finding Nemo? Next to Finding Nemo is it any good?

Because from the unfunny trailer it doesn't look like it tongue


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:Funny you should mention that, last night I was watching Film 2004 and J Ross said it sucked in comparison to underwater magic of Finding Nemo and had a bad script. I dont totally agree, i think shark tale is lot funnier...but maybe not a better overall film.

But wait, ive seen more...


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:DE-LOVELY

Its about the life of the famous song and musical writer Cole Porter (Kevin Klein) from when he first met his soon-to-be wife to when he dies. The film plot is actually a musical director (Jonathon Price) making a musical about the life of Cole Porter while talking to a very old Cole Porter about it. Similarly to The Life and Death of Peter Sellers this film is more informative than a fun day out at the flicks so it is not everybodys cup of tea, but I think most people will like it if not love it as it is a very well made film with fantastic acting from Klein and the rest of the cast. You can expect to spot a few familiar faces in amongst the crowds such as Robbie Williams, Mick Hucknall, Alannis Morisette and Natalie Porter.

**** on the F-B-ometer


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:WIMBLEDON:

This is quite hard to review as I know I had good time watching itbut I cant remember why! It is a romantic comedy so it does have its funny parts, mostly at the hands of Paul Bettany who plays the star role; the romantic part follows the troubles of the British lad getting mixed up with the American heroine played by Kirsten Dunst, and of course there are complications that get in the way just as weve come to expect from any romantic comedy (i.e. not much!). The film is, as any chick flick is, totally predictable; I could tell you what happens, and it would be exactly what you were expecting, but you would still get mad at me for doing it so I wont. Im not sure the film is worth the cost of the cinema ticket unless you are into your romantic comedies, because as far as basic plot goes its got nothing original in it!

*** on the F-B-ometer


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:Hang on a bit, going back to the shark tale review - looking at my F-B-ometer it says the film is good, here i feel i should clarify myself. The Flame-Bot-ometer system marks films according to their watchability, not their chances of becoming a conventionally great film; those stars are telling you whether you should get off your arse and go see it or not. In terms of actually how good the film is i would rate shark tale 3/5...but i still think you should watch it.
Keeping this in mind in will introduce a second rating system which will tell you how good the actual film is.

Man, I really wish I had found this thread at the beginning of the summer hols, ive seen just about every fim thats gone through the cinemas. Never mind, im sure ill see lots more.

Up and coming reviews: You should see a review of "SAW" at some point.


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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Kat
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Kat

Pooh-Bah
Location: London, Wales (UK)

Total posts: 2211
Posted:SHIKIJITSU (review I wrote and shamelessly reproducing here.
Main actress is Ayako Fujitani - spawn of Steven Segal, who is excellent as a lonely eccentric and disturbed young lady who becomes the reality subject of a dissillusioned director. The story was orginally penned by her which is impressive, visually the film is stunning. Its a captivating movie but if her Dads movies are more your thing I'd advise you give it a miss.

Another visual and beautiful film I fell in love with recently is Tim Burton's BIG FISH. Its the story of a man with a big imagination and a talent for storytelling played by Albert Finney & Ewan McGregor. His stories are fantastic and funny and he is loved by everyone except his son who feels resentment at not knowing the true man behind the stories and his fathers frequent abscences as a child. The film flits expertly between reality and stories, its a love story, a tearjerker, a comedy and fantasy all rolled into one - a film that truly embodies the spirit of how beautiful a story can be!

WITHNAIL & I - this film is genius - every scene can stand alone, making it one of the most eminently suitable films for watching time and time again. Its the story of two actors, the narrating charactor 'I' and his friend Withnail 'reduced to the state of' bums, living is squalor in Camden Town. They borrow from Withnail's eccentic homosexual uncle his cottage in the country, to escape the madness London and Danny ' The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals', where they meet inhospitable farmers with legs wrapped in polythene, a poacher keeping eels down his trousers and have a variety of adventures! This is most definitely a character movie, it is the characters who define this movie as great, all characters are vividly depicted and overflow with amazingly quotable lines. If you've seen it once and not liked it, watch it a second and a third time - I still find that every viewing brings me something new at different viewings you will have favourite characters, quotes, scenes!

I could spend all day here talking [censored] about all the wonderful fabulous amazing films I have seen that rocked my world! But I think I'll leave my limit at 3!


Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats

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...{SAFE}...


...{SAFE}...

"if i jump in the fire, will you?"
Location: USA, wishing I was in SA

Total posts: 633
Posted:*hmmm , seems flameboy lives here(?) wonder what he does for a living?* ubblol

i like breaking the Law frown , of Gravity wink !

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DFZ
BRONZE Member since Apr 2004

DFZ

Christian Death Metal Anyone?
Location: Ipswich, Queensland, Australia

Total posts: 313
Posted:Has anyone seen the movie "Boondock Saints" it is on dvd. I personally love it just wanted to know what others thought?

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
-- Steven Wright

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=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs..., United Ki...

Total posts: 2722
Posted:my review of "The Terminal"

In brief: Slow, but moving with an unfortunate "We Love America" bit at the end

Despite being almost entirely set in an airport's international concourse, The Terminal has great scenery, wonderful ideas (even if a bit stretched thin), and KZJ actually being an ok actress! Tom Hanks, as ever as an actor rocks, and the supporting cast, especially the indian cleaner, are well fleshed out.

I rate this fillum as a 4* on the performances, and Steven Spielberg making it look nice for a one scene film.

Ahthankyou


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:I dont do anything for a living, I live films...if that answers your question Safe?

AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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garthy
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

garthy

old hand
Location: Bristol, England

Total posts: 717
Posted:Alien vs Predator

Don't bother. Makes Alien 3 look good!


"**grumble*spuriouswindmills*grumble**" - Coleman
"if poi was only for girls there wouldnt be many good poi spinners...." - Nx

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:oh, thats a bit disappointing; is it not even a little entertaining if not a great film?

AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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The Real Fryed Fish


God's illgitament son
Location: state of confusion

Total posts: 1489
Posted:ok so im sure someone has seen van hellsing, but did you notice that in the "vampires ball" scene there are people spinning poi in the back ground......its just a flash, but look for it

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

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The Real Fryed Fish


God's illgitament son
Location: state of confusion

Total posts: 1489
Posted:DFZ i own boondock saints, love it, the cynimatography makes that movie, the baptisim in the jail cell, all of was just fantastic!

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

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garthy
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

garthy

old hand
Location: Bristol, England

Total posts: 717
Posted:Guess it depends what you're after. You never really feel empathy with the character so you kinda never care about them and how / will they die.

The actions scences are neutered for a lower rating and are all high speed blurs.
I guess the fact I invited about 10 people over to watch it and it diapointed all could have something todo with it. I felt kinda embaressed making people watch such a bad film!


"**grumble*spuriouswindmills*grumble**" - Coleman
"if poi was only for girls there wouldnt be many good poi spinners...." - Nx

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Lyra
SILVER Member since Feb 2004

spiny norman
Location: Cincinnati,damn it, USA

Total posts: 314
Posted:wait,garthy, your talking about boondock saints right, i heard there was a R and NC - 17 version of that

i found it disturbing, but in the good and important way things are disturbing, william dafoe is brilliant in that film, that scene where hes in drag was...intersting, it messes with your perceptions of good/evil, like can you say that the killing of bad people is just as bad as the killing of innocents? i dont think so, but also the two guys are very hot and their mom is awsome and im suffering from sleep deprivation so im sorry that didnt make sense


if you think that our kiss was all in the lips, come on you got it all wrong man, and if you think that our dance was all in the hips then, oh well, do the twist -The White Stripes

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:ALFIE

Michael Caine set a high standard in the original of this film being the great actor that all Brits should be, unfortunately Jude Law, although British, as good as he is cant quite reach those dizzy heights. It is still a good performance though and he portrays the studly Alfie with that type of English manner that apparently makes all US girls go weak at the knees very well (Ill have to try that some time); yet as good as Law is as the lovable English gent, there is a weakness in his performance towards the end in Alfies demise where Law seems to flop a bit. The film hinges on the titles slogan: Whats it all about? which Alfie cannot figure out until its too late.
You have to be able to stomach a lot of a Mr Law as there is not a single scene without him on screen; Law stars along side such lovelies as Marissa Tomie (What Women Want) and Jane Krakowski (Ally McBeal) who are top notch in their main, although small, roles.
By the way the soundtrack was masterly put together by none other than Mick Jagger!

**** F-B-ometer (whether you should watch it or not)
4/5 (how good it is)


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:Hasn't anyone been to see a film?
Oh well, I have...

FINDING NEVERLAND

The fantastic story of J.M.Barrie (the creator of Peter Pan) from when his marriage started to fall apart to the success of the classic tale of the boy who would never grow old.
With Johnny Depp in the title role the film was never going to dissappoint, but the film did not rest solely on Depp'd shoulders due to Kate Winslet and Dustin Hoffman skilled performances.
There are funny parts and sad parts (indeed my girlfriend cryed) but generally its just a classic piece of cinema.
Not everyone will like it because not everyone likes this type of film i.e. you uncultured philistines! Only joking wink Most peeps should enjoy it, so I advise you go and watch it.

***** F-B-ometer
5/5 Quality


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Can't wait to see Finding Neverland. My 2 fave actor/esses in one film, with a really sweet sounding story (I'm a big fat girl at heart). Thanks for the review smile

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172
Posted:Written by:
ok so im sure someone has seen van hellsing, but did you notice that in the "vampires ball" scene there are people spinning poi in the back ground......its just a flash, but look for it



mum just bought that on DVD, sed it sucked and i belived it, but how can it suck with poi in it! *runs of to watch it*


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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:The Phantom of The Opera



Honestly I COULDNT (and still cant) watch it, its unfortunately a musical, but not in a good way like Caberet and Chicago are, no no no its PURE singing.



Which you might say is the way it should be but no, honestly. Its already BEEN an opera and a musical on stage this is a FILM, couldnt they have put in more than 12 minutes of scattered dialog?



Ugh I cant even rate it, the singing isnt even good which just makes me cringe I havent been able to get past the part when the lead character is being rowed through the underground waterways of the opera house, I just have to turn it off at that point.


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Nate
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

Nate

Groovy ga watashi no namae desu!
Location: Oxford, Oxfordshire, England

Total posts: 1530
Posted:i recently rented 3iron which is a korean film about a guy who breaks into peoples houses and lives there, changing each house every day,


FOOKEN awsome film, if you've been watching jonathan ross's asian invasion you'll know what i'm talking about, i recomend this film to people who like filmswhich are rather different in special and amazing ways

go rent it or buy it!!


I like Languages.

Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" />

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Twin town - wales's answer to Trainspotting, but funnier - and Rhys Ifans is in it. That dude rocks!

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:Just saw Final Destination 3, on a date. I recomend this for dates because the other person will be so shocked by it they will want to grab your hand and burry there head in your shoulder alot.

Its not like the first two films, the focus is put onto just two of the charecters with little dialog between the 7 high school/maybie college graduates who death has earmarked for distruction, which mainly comes into play on the run up to there deaths. Also the main charecter has promonitions thrown into the film (2 long ones) rather than simply seeing signs, allthough she does get a few of those.

Also the deaths are very different in this film, there very graphic and differ from each other alot (save for one or two which are more or less the same), my guess is because they want to end the trilogy and make it memorable since all the charecters die, none survive at all.

Definatly the best of the three, it seems to be written better and the two main charecters dont have to share screen time with six or seven other cast members to much, so you do end up gaining sympothy for them both by th end of the film.

4.5 stars out of 5. Its only let down is that some of the deaths are so disturbing I actualy had to look away from some of them


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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animatEd
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK

Total posts: 3540
Posted:Cheers for completely giving away the film so that I don't have to watch it now, Joe... rolleyes umm

I saw Aeon Flux the other day...

I really enjoyed it, and so did my girlfriend. It's got everything you could possibly need:

A hot girl that kicks ass,
A corrupt government
The possible end of mankind
a woman with hands for feet (don't ask, just see the film)
Guns
Fighting
Futuristic stuff...

Well recommended.


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:L.A. Crash - the last movie that drove me to tears... of despair...

The way of storytelling is not brand new and innovative: a number of characters, whose fates are connected one or the other way. But (to me) it's just as life goes and not so far from likely as one may think.

A display of (racial/ social) stereotypes, which (just don't) fit (at all). Some surprises, but after all a depressing portrait of daily racism (not only on US - soil).

When will we learn?

After all - IMO - a movie well worth watching...


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:Written by: TinklePants


Twin town - wales's answer to Trainspotting, but funnier - and Rhys Ifans is in it. That dude rocks!







twin town is a wickedly funny film, the best scene has got to be where they give the dog walker a magic mushroom hot dog and he feeds some to his dog ubblol rhys ifans is a great actor and seeing him do the video for oasis's song " the importance of being idol" (i think thats the name, i'm too tired to even care so meh........) ubbrollsmile


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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:Written by: Leaning_Towards_Corruption


Cheers for completely giving away the film so that I don't have to watch it now, Joe... rolleyes umm







lol to be fair it is final destination 3, its got the same plot as the first two films... and you could get more info by reading the back of the dvd case or watching the official trailer than what I wrote


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:Personally, I reckon the third was arse. AS with most Horror series... it gets lamer and lamer as it progresses down the title. The first was brilliant, the second allright, and the third had me laughing.

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Beth


Beth

Miss Whippy
Location: Cornwall & Oxford

Total posts: 1262
Posted:I saw Chicken Little last week. Now i thought it would be a crappy kids film but i wanted to give it a go. How wrong i was! It's so so funny and in places, for kids, quite scary. It's definitely not meant to be taken even slightly seriously which just makes it even funnier. Go see it!

Aim high and you'll know your limits, aim low and you'll never know how high you could have climbed.

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