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dromepixie
dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:Just for informations sake I would like to publish some information that is unknown to most English speakers... That is unless they have experience with fiery latinos...

Right... basically all my life I have found that English speakers think I am agressive and quite brutal when I am in a discussion or conversation of any kind. That is based solely on the tone and attitude I project when I speak not on any other factor which could have made me that way.

"Why are you yelling?" I respond I am not yelling.
"Why are you attacking me?" Man I did not mean for you to feel attacked...
"Why do you say F#@$ so much?" I find it is a word just as any other, you are the one adding the stigma to it...

ETC...

These people usually dont care to see through the lines and realise that I am latin by nature although I dont look it... We the latinos and those who understand this prespective would know that thats cultural and not personal.

I know many people who encounter the same type of judgement. Thats all it is being judged constantly because you dont fill into the damn rigid structure of the English (saying English because thats where I live) mentality where crying is looked down upon most of the time...

I hate the fact that I have to tone myself down as I am way too intense for many people. Some cannot handle the passion in my feelings and beliefs even if I am trying to agree with them.

Usually people think I am being a bitch and trying to upset them... I try and try to be more pallatable for people and day by day am trying to constantly improve myself but this does not seem to be enough for most people.

Now I dont need any advice... I am more trying to advise those who find some people to intense. You should look at how they were raised and their human nature dont just listen to the words or the tone. Put it into prespective before you accuse someone of being agressive when to them they are just manifesting their own culture.

DONT JUDGE BEFORE YOU KNOW THE FACTS!

I just wanted to make this announcement as this weekend after 19 years I realised why people find me agressive etc...

But you know what this is who I am and the way I behave. I am who I am and cannot change my fundamental human nature. I can tone it down but in way that means I am hiding who I am...

Those who matter dont care and those who care dont matter.

Much love and hugs,
Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:Drome, I grew up in a town that is not quite prodominatly hispanic, but I would say 49% were hispanic. I have had many arguments with friends (we all like to argue over the stupidest stuff possible *shrugs*) any hoo. Knowing my friends and how they talk I can understand a bit what you mean.

Then again I have been called closed minded when in my opinion I just look at things from a perspective that the "open minded people" dont look at. Just becuase someone may not like the way you talk or the emotions that you feel, does not mean that you need to change. Be you and if all else fails, make mulitple coppies of you in your head and be them and you at the same time

*huggles drome*

Your a good lass, dun worry bout nobody else.


Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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dromepixie
dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:*pixie wishes she had the ability to give Ray a big hug right now*

Aww Ray at least I now know that some people do understand where I am coming from.

Much love and big s,
Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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the mind gap.
the mind gap.

old hand
Location: Brigadoon
Member Since: 31st May 2002
Total posts: 829
Posted:hahaha.... you want aggressive conversational tactics?

just wait until you come up to sheffield and ask simon and rachel about how they got in the local paper - actually, i've only spoken to them about it separately but i'm sure if we got them going together we could easily get some eardrums burst


wherever you go, there you are.

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Kali
member
Location: Berlin, Germany
Member Since: 29th Apr 2002
Total posts: 577
Posted:Drome, I'm confused. I never found you to be overly aggressive or confrontational or any of that stuff. I always just thought that you were confident and secure with yourself and your emotions. In fact I can recall a time or two that I saw you react to things on here with such calmness and restraint that I thought, "I could never be that cool about that. I'm too much of a bitch!"

Anyways, I think you're amazing how you are hope you don't ever change (unless of course you want to).


Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.

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FireMikeZ
FireMikeZ

Laguna dude
Location: Laguna, California, US
Member Since: 24th Jul 2002
Total posts: 1438
Posted:dromepixie , fiery Latina

yes, what to gringos is "aggressive" CAN BE one of the Latin attitudes & personality types. . . but the Latin family has many attitudes & personality types, including these usually female ones:

the shy nia (dulce flames is an adopted one of these, charming in her quietude, while she also fights for immigrant rights)
the warm, huggy, constantly joking, teasing, never aggressive chica
the dour, serious strict moralista
the chronically confused worrier
Carmen, the dangerous, lusty, vengeful, vain, unscrupulous femme fatale, to borrow the french phrase
Dominica shall we call her? the ruthless jefe now popular in Latin soap operas
i have had a wonderful time these last months letting myself run free with more and more of my natural intensity than i have in the whole year before SoCalFire and Home of Poi.
~
yes, i've learned a lot, especially from Rozi here, about passionate intensity in pyros.
and yes, i have learned that in future i must, though i hate it too in my own case, restrain myself regularly in many gatherings. sadly, these include pyro gatherings. i will do it willingly though i hate it, for the greater family's coming together around and including me.
~

i will do it recognizing that other intense pyros have frequent moments when they are more fragile than i am at that time. . .or as fragile, and without saying it out loud, they need me to leave them plenty of room for their egos, which blossom as fire spirits by being big and hot and exciting.

you don't need advice? i do, and am always aware of how much others can guide me. the worst is those whose style or mood is to do so silently, so that i don't notice soon enough when they have withdrawn as the only response they are making to me. i know that knowledge, fame, and power are all second prizes; the first is the visceral experience of communion in their love, and i miss it dearly when its flame burns low.

which is a separate dimension from everyone's right, and in spiritual nature, duty, to live your flame as bright, intensely wonderful, alive, creative, and rippingly satisfied as you can, mi alma fuerte!

so others aside, dromepixie, maybe you have just shown me. . .

maybe i should be hitting on you?

will we make incredibly wicked, heavenly, emotional love, with sweaty, insistent sex and a flaring together of spirts whose plume consumes the horizon?

mi cara

~ miguel

[ 26 October 2002, 08:15: Message edited by: FreMke ]


molten cheers,

~ FireMike

FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US

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NYC
NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:Drome, I'm confused. Having lived in New York and Los Angeles, I never found that Latinos yell, attack or curse more than anyone else. Yet you're linking the two (indirectly)...

Can you restate your point before I offer an opinion. Are you saying that you curse because you're latino? Or that you should be judged differently because of your heritage? (You say "You should look at how they were raised and their human nature dont just listen to the words or the tone.")

I don't think you are. What are you saying?

Curious and listening...


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:I think I kinda know what you mean, but I identify it more with different families. Some families resolve all their differences by having a blazing row. They blow off steam really quickly then come straight back for a hug. Others, like my family, are pretty quite, so when someone shouts it gets scary. I still find shouty people very frightening, especially when I am feeling a little fragile.

*hugs Drome*

I gotta learn to shout more. I can't even remember the last time when I did. Can you come over & teach me?


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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Tika
member
Location: BC, Canada
Member Since: 1st Jan 2002
Total posts: 106
Posted:I would also say that it is more of how your family raised you and not so much your culture. I am a Latina too but am more on the shy, quiet type. If I find something that I disagree with I usually turn into more of a debate and unless it's something I feel strongly about I am not confrontational.
So while I know what you mean about the strong latin personality, I am sure very culture has a strong personality type.


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Salinger
member
Location: Southampton
Member Since: 2nd Dec 2001
Total posts: 382
Posted:I feel sorry for you Drome for feeling this way because being misunderstood is a terrible annoying thing but to attribute it to your ethnic roots is actually to generalise and prejudice your own race!

My girlfriend is Brasilian, and I've travelled around South America, and I never found the fiery nature to manifest itself into aggression, indeed my girlfriend never even raises her voice and never swears so I find little excuse for it. You say you don't want advice but you want everyone else to understand and work around people with your approach, well it doesn't work that way in life. You are right to modify yourself to accomodate others, that's not change but a fairer representation of the way you say that you'd like to convey yourself.

You say you hate the fact that you have to tone yourself down well, you're in another country now, and it's your responsibility to try to adapt to other cultures as we should all try to do when away fom home turf.

Hope you find your happy place,

pyro
x


A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words...

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Pele
Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:Ah, feeding into racial stereotypes. And all blacks can dance, and all Irish have nasty tempers, and, and, and......
I am sorry, I have to say that this is not a strictly "latino" anything. I know many people who are of spanish/latin decent who are not this way. I also know many who are of "other" heritage who are this fiery and passionate, including, at times, myself. I could say it is my Scottish stubborness at work, but it is just me. They could say it is their heritage but in fact, it is a human trait that not everyone has.

I don't get frustrated with other people, I just realize they come from a different mindset than I do and adjust. There is a comprimise that needs to occur when relating to other people who are not familiar with you. You know people perceive you this way and yet you do not comprimise when speaking to them for sake of "being yourself", then you are the one who creates issue with how they perceive you.
It is not "comprimising yourself" at all, it is getting your point across in a way people can handle, which if your point is important enough, I should think you would want to.
I am a very passionate, emotional, sensative and many times intense person but I have learned when to hand out that intensity to other people, and when to channel it into more useful approaches for the best results. It's taken me nearly 30 years to do it though, and there is no garuntee it works all the time. *shrug* When that happens I just come across lazy.


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:You know what it is? We hispanohablantes stand closer to each-other than we English-speakers do (no, I am not schizophrenic...I am bilingual...raised by a Spaniard).

English-speakers take that as belligerence, pushiness, etc. They don't even notice it.

If I am standing a comfy meter or so away from you and then we start speaking Spanish, I will instinctively take a step closer. If the conversation goes back to English, I'll ease back away. Crazy, eh?


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Pele:
Ah, feeding into racial stereotypes. And all blacks can dance, and all Irish have nasty tempers, and, and, and......<sweetly> And the French are smelly and rude?

*ducks and runs*



-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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FireMikeZ
FireMikeZ

Laguna dude
Location: Laguna, California, US
Member Since: 24th Jul 2002
Total posts: 1438
Posted:otro simpatico, gueldos. . . mi padrino es Juan Carlos Bonetto de Buenos A

~ guelchingancincomaomen


molten cheers,

~ FireMike

FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US

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FireMikeZ
FireMikeZ

Laguna dude
Location: Laguna, California, US
Member Since: 24th Jul 2002
Total posts: 1438
Posted:son primos culturales si no compatriotas?

molten cheers,

~ FireMike

FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US

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dromepixie
dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:INTENSITY!

Ok I dont quite know how to start...

Mind: you can inform me upon arrival... I am tired and dont know when I will have the cash to come down but it will be soon... I will find a way, I always do

Kali:
You would be surprised how many people interpret my behaviour, actions, and words. I try to be the way you have described and still to this day get negative feedback from some... I just wanted to raise the knowledge that its a common missconception and tht books should never be judged by the cover they carry or the binding etc... It all good though. I apprechiate your understanding.

FireMike: check your PMs in a bit I am just trying to piece together the essential words...

NYC:
"Are you saying that you curse because you're latino?"
Well not nessecarily but we have been known to let a few out here and there...

"Or that you should be judged differently because of your heritage?"
Well I dont encourage judgement but we humans naturally try to access situations and make sence of them in our heads; can be looked upon as a type of 'judgement'. We try to see where people are coming from to try and find a common ground what I mean is that before you (collective 'you') do this you must step back and look at the person and where they are coming from. i dont just think its about latinos although it is the only way that I could explain the topic quite thoroughly as I have been there and done that. I am sure there are common misconceptions about most cultures and I invite those who feel similarly (or completely opposite for that matter) to voice their personal experiences.

Rozi: your post just strengthens the need for imput from other sides of the dimensional infinity. and yes I can teach you how to shout but I will also teach you how it can be beneficial and completely dettering.

Tika: Again we need to know more about how it affects others as you have stated that it does not apply to you... I have shared my experience and would like to know if anyone encounteres this kind of judgement in their day to day life in any shape or form... Do they view you differently because you are the 'shy' type?!

Pyrophile:
Pity is not something I need or want. I have attributed it to my enthnic roots because the problem is only encoutered in certain dimensions with certain groups of people from all places but they all have very similar programming. We are all programed whether we like it or not and you have to step back and find out where it comes from and why you as an individual are judged the way that you are judged by outsiders. Keep yourself in perspective.
By no means do I mean what I say to be hard fact; merely sharing with other my personal experience which is exactly that: personal. Each individual has their own way of looking at the world.

Your post is a key example of how you have misinterpreted my personal opinion through what I have said based on who you think I am. You have judged me by your standards in your life not knowing anything about how I live my day to day life. I dont mean to say I disagree with what you have said I just disagree with your approach as nothing on earth is grey. It light + dark and they are both the same, one within the other; all encompasing.
The reason why your girlfriend is like that is cause the Brasilians like it chilled and thats the way it goes over there. I understand that culture but it is in no way where I am from. I understand their way of life and in many ways am similar but it is not the same Brasilians are in a class of their own in the latin world... I dont want to make a list of the pertaining countries that apply to my statement as it does not apply to any particular country. It applies more to a mentality that I confront constantly in my life REGARDLESS of where I am. I have given place name only because that is where I have personally seen it manifest.

Pele:
"It's taken me nearly 30 years to do it though, and there is no garuntee it works all the time."
I am also walking my journey trying to get there. I only ask for compassion and understanding not for a change in peoples way of life.

I must say I wanst sure of the reception and well I didnt expect anything I just looked back and read you guys' posts...

I feel quite good about some feedback but quite unsure about others as I feel that I have yet again not clearly explained myself. I find that this is the case as some have touched on the names and places I have mentioned not realising that I only mentoin names and lables because that where it has occured in my 'dromepixies' personal journey. That does not mean that the same will apply to all latinos or people or other cultures... Its just my perspective and the way I have encountered it. Read between the lines.

Energy cannot be manipulated with words it only works with energies, dont try to interpert words as energies, they are not the same and dont always relate to the other.

Much love, hugs and respect,
Drome

PS: MikeGinny, we gotta get a PM relay going, you are BOOM!


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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dromepixie
dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:BE
Exist
Explore


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:People do view me differently because I don't shout. People I meet all know that I am not shy. They also know how in control I am. Some friends can not even picture me shouting.

This can be a good thing. On the one hand they trust me and respect me. They know that I don't have outbursts etc.

It can also be a difficult thing. Cos I say may anger, my fear or my sadness, rather than shouting it, they don't always take it seriously. it is not that they don't care, but it doesn't seem to register as strongly when you don't make a big noise. I believe that I can get my message across without shouting, but sometimes I do wonder if I succeed...


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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