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Location: UK Lincolnshire
Member Since: 23rd Sep 2002
Total posts: 68
Posted:I dont want to be deppressing so i'll be to the point.

I was a manic depressive. No comfort could be found in life or love. The "me" rapidly disintergrated over a couple of years. I honestly could not find a good thing about myself to hold aloft and be proud of.

life sucked

Then, through meeting some people i will always regard as the best people i have ever met, i picked up a staff and gave it a twirl. No magic happened, no flash! bang! fizz! I wasn't miraculously cured (sp?) but, every trick i learnt gave me something new to be proud of, every sucssesful routine was a plus for the "me".
It sounds silly now and it sounded better in my head earlier but the depression would have escalated, along with the self mu(cough)tion and fire art stopped it in its tracks, saving my life. It actually gave me something to concentrate on and look forward to. It filled the massive void in life that depressiveness (sp?) leaves you to cope with.

I've been told i'm "sad" for giving life saving credit to fire art, am i wrong?

I would love to know if anyone has had similar experiances to me, obviously I missed out the reasons for my depression but that's besides the point, did staff/poi change your life in any significant way?


Location: england
Member Since: 7th Nov 2001
Total posts: 158
Posted:1 thing to be said about us 'manic depressives'
-we are also proud members of 'the manic happies'
which means we get the highest of highs
-if only we can keep our heads down long enough so when we next look up all is well again

smile to yourself
it releases chemicals into your own brain

good true orange energies all ...xxx...


Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:to say firedancing saved my life.... no, not really. A boy named Luke saved my life, and a girl named Anne, and a girl named Sara, and a girl named Zel, and a boy named Ben.

By the time I discovered fire dancing, I was already a lot better. Less manic depressive(still couldn't keep a job tho) And I was free from the situations which had been causing me so much stress and pain, but nothing heals overnight.

What did fire dancing do for me?

It improved my body. After a few weeks of twirling, my physical therapist said there was major improvement in my arms and shoulders. (I've since left physical therapy, although my body is not in that great of shape)

It gave me a greater worldliness. Talking to people from around the world is wonderful, and it's given me great inspiration to travel and to learn even more about other cultures.

It's given me friendships, connections, and mentorships i never otherwise would have found. From Bender in Aussie to Nyx in my previous town, to my good friend Vern in Arcata, and so on. Also kudos to Cantus and SickPuppy for looking after me, Rozi, MikeGinny, and Brody for almost constant advice, and Cass, Spiral, Ros, and all the others i chat with for their friendships. I can't wait to meet the SoCal crew this december.....

I have a home this december, and don't need to go house-hopping thanks to the generosity of a San Diegan.... Pozee!

I've managed to majorly change the way I see life for the better.... Thx to Bender and many others.

Spinning calms my mind when nothing else will.

Hoppers help me out too.... there's too many of you to list but your concern is amazing, thx!!!

There's a lad I talk to nearly every day..... he makes me smile and laugh all the time and my days have been so much better b/c of his friendship...... you know who you are.
edit: now you should. sorry for the cunfusion sweetness!

Fire dancing has given me direction and purpose in my life in short term, and helped me sort out my long term goals.

I'm part of a beautiful and helpful community now...

and it's even good exercise!

and i owe this all to one crazy boy i met last march..... whiffle squeek.....

peace and love to you all!

[ 21 October 2002, 15:34: Message edited by: Kyrian ]

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

torn and bleeding warrior of love
Location: West Virginia
Member Since: 6th Sep 2002
Total posts: 133
Posted:Why do something if you can't love it? No matter what it is, if something brings you happiness (that isn't illegal or wrong), then stick with it.

I need to find something witty for this so people like me...

fire fly
fire fly

Location: middle earth: New Zealand
Member Since: 10th Oct 2002
Total posts: 56
Posted:ok well get this.
i had to do a study of sumthing i was into while i was at school so i chose the reserch on my poi spinning. the teacher had never heard of fire poi's so i took mine to school to show her. and as the other people around watched me they got sceard of me so from there on they started calling my "gyispy witch" and things like that as i have lived in a bus and shit like that it all got so bad that mum disided to pull me out of shcool again. i have now been to 3 different high schools and 2 of them i got pulled out of due to bullying. just because i im different to other people due to the life iv had. im only 15 now and i have done alot more than most audlts and other people most my age dont like it.

well dont want to bore u with any more of my life story and i got to go and do my work

[ 22 October 2002, 09:00: Message edited by: Esm ]

Location: UK Lincolnshire
Member Since: 23rd Sep 2002
Total posts: 68
Posted:Its so touching reading through these posts, although isolated I no longer feel alone.
awww I'm coming over all shy I gotta go

i wish i could have my arms extended so i could hug you all at once



Location: London
Member Since: 1st Dec 2001
Total posts: 1810
Posted:Staff and poi have opened up a whole new world to me over the past year.

I met a man I've fallen head over heals in love with and friends all over the world that I know I can turn to with stories of both joy and sadness.

Malcolm you've helped make most of this possible with a great site and members, thank you.

A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only kind of kiss is a kiss tasted.

I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating and not just a LITTLE bit scary.


The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 8th Nov 2001
Total posts: 2523

[ 23 October 2002, 00:06: Message edited by: glass ]


Location: Leicester, uk
Member Since: 30th Jul 2002
Total posts: 180
Posted:Hey Deep,

This is a wonderful post, thank you

Spinning has helped me out when I've been at low points over the past few months for sure. When I split up with my now ex-boyfriend, I just poi-ed all the time and it really helped take my mind off things.

It's great to hear so many people's experiences and to know I'm not such a *freak* after all. I haven't been to work for the last 4 days because I got myself into a bit of a state for various reasons. Luckily I work for a company that looks after it's staff and doesn't stress too much.

I finally dived out of the house today and got out to see a friend who's grandmother has just died. Perspective is a blessing sometimes. Friendship is a huge one. I live on my own now and tend to isolate myself completely when I feel down. I'm so happy that such a positive place exists that I can escape to

Not really sure what I'm trying to say here

It's not great to hear that all you guys have been through so much pain, but it's nice to know i'm not alone. We're all growing through our unique experiences, and that can only be a good thing I'll leave it there methinks.



Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside wakes C G Jung


Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road
Member Since: 30th Jul 2001
Total posts: 15965
Posted:Hey look it. I got kudos. Don't know where i'm going to put them.

As one of those people who has only ever seen Mr Orange when he is manic I must say what a wonderful expereience it really is.

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

Location: UK Lincolnshire
Member Since: 23rd Sep 2002
Total posts: 68
thanx chalice

(a very happy) Deep

Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Stone:
I hope you make it because there must be betta ways than the kinda shit many doc's are dishing out these days. And, hey the other thing is that they never tell you about the side-effects.

Apologies for the rant.Stone, the rant is justified. Want a quick view from the other side?

Most patients get this little mentality from when they are kids that doctors can fix anything. You are sick, you go to the doctor, he gives you medicine, you take it, you get better.

So when people get older, they start to think that doctors are miracle workers who can make anything better just by taking a pill. But being a healthy adult is a lot harder than being a healthy kid. You actually have to put some effort into being a healthy adult in our society, since our society has no checks on it that force you to stay healthy (you don't have to be prepared to get away from a lion while walking around downtown San Francisco).

So people get depressed, and they come to us. And they want a pill. And that will make it better. And the insurance companies tell us we have 15 minutes to do the whole visit and we'll get punished if we refer the patient to a specialist who can spend more time with the patient.

There are very few people out there who would ever come to a doctor and say "I think I can get out of this without using antidepressants, but I don't know how and I want you to listen to my life and tell me what you think I should do to get it back."

The other thing is to tell someone to find a hobby isn't so simple. I tried all the usual stuff...you know, photography was too expensive, I'm not artistic enough to draw, paint, or sculpt, I lack the mechanical aptitude or attention to detail to build models, and then poi came along.

Another thing is that one key to depression is to get people in contact with a support group that will meet on a regular basis. And I don't mean one of those disgusting things where you go and have coffee and danish and wear a "Hello my name is" thing on your shirt and sit in a circle and feel free to cry with each-other .

By "support group," I mean a group of people with at least one interest in common. For me, my main support group is my swim club. It's a bunch of social contacts, we enjoy each-others' company, and we share a passion for swimming. But I can also talk with my swimming buddies about whatever it is that's bugging me in my life after workout. For some people, their poi groups serve a similar function. For my grandmother, it's her bridge group.

So I believe that for mild depression, making sure to establish a human connection with like-minded people is one of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal.

Now, for deep, extreme depression, or rapid-cycling extreme bi-polar, the meds may be necessary for a while to allow someone to gain enough stability to seek out such a group, but the meds can only offer stability, not fulfillment, not happiness. And fulfillment and happiness are going to take you a lot further than stability ever will.

It's just convincing people to put forth the effort that's tough.

And you think THAT'S tough...try convincing someone to quit smoking.

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

Location: Webster, TX
Member Since: 24th Jul 2002
Total posts: 3
Posted:I started playing with poi after my boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago, and eventually took some lessons from a bellydancer friend. Since then I continue to work on new transitions and I've even started to teach myself staff, I always find that working with my poi and my staff lift my spirirts especially when I'm really feeling down and alone. I live by myself, and most of my friends are married and or have kids, so I spend a lot of my time by myself, and poi and staff give me a way to keep my mind on something more positive.

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