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Posted: I dont want to be deppressing so i'll be to the point.
I was a manic depressive. No comfort could be found in life or love. The "me" rapidly disintergrated over a couple of years. I honestly could not find a good thing about myself to hold aloft and be proud of.
Then, through meeting some people i will always regard as the best people i have ever met, i picked up a staff and gave it a twirl. No magic happened, no flash! bang! fizz! I wasn't miraculously cured (sp?) but, every trick i learnt gave me something new to be proud of, every sucssesful routine was a plus for the "me". It sounds silly now and it sounded better in my head earlier but the depression would have escalated, along with the self mu(cough)tion and fire art stopped it in its tracks, saving my life. It actually gave me something to concentrate on and look forward to. It filled the massive void in life that depressiveness (sp?) leaves you to cope with.
I've been told i'm "sad" for giving life saving credit to fire art, am i wrong?
I would love to know if anyone has had similar experiances to me, obviously I missed out the reasons for my depression but that's besides the point, did staff/poi change your life in any significant way?
I met the love of my life through poi & staff and (more importantly) through HoP "I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean "...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean
I have a similar exoperiance as well... Not with staff or poi, but Partying (raving) saved mine. I to was (and still am) Maniac depressive. I refuse to get medications because of many personal reasons, not to mention the cost.
But all the people i have met htrough partying have some of the most beautiful, caring, open-minded, loving, yadda yadda yadda.. people I have ever met. without such people in my life i know I would not be here today.
So there is my little schpiel.
Jon I. ---Formerly known as RaverRomantic---
I have gone through many a crisis of faith. From christianity to paganism and back again, its been a cycle that has been hard to break out of. a few weeks ago I had my first burn. While the flames spun around me, and the roar of the fire filled my ears, I came to a realization. God, whoever you believe him, her, or it to be, doesn't really care what we call him by, and will love us regardless of what we do or believe. Poi, and the act of spinning with flames, has broken out of a heartbreaking cycle. Ashia Ash Blackstar
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, But Whips and Chains excite me" "Only way to deal with Drama, heavy weaponry and a strong does of grow the Hell up"
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" Adam Savage - Mythbusters
Ah as many would know from my other posts, life too has been shit. I dont classify myself as depressed tho, but I do know for sure that If i didnt go firetwriling i would have melted my brain through my ears by now.
firetwirling is my form of escape, and i love it!
my two cents. You've got to move fast to beat the Devil - Your arm's too short to box with God.
I know the feeling. Think it could be, well for me, it was probably finding something I really liked to do, something that was missing from my life. More like coming home really.
Errr, don't know that I would ever say that partying (raving) saved my life, but this one time I ended up at a "bush doof" and (once only) I went away with a new perspective on life. Since then, I've seen a real seedy side to the rave scene. If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh
Poi and staff spinning has given me an allround confidence around other people. I no longer strive to be in the 'in' group - I'm myself. And I found that once you learn to be 'you' the 'in' group are suddenly nocking at your door.
Meeting spinners (esp. from HoP) has refined my ability to fit in/meet new people/ be more easygoing. And have more fun
Meeting one spinner in particular has changed me forever - filled me with so much positive energy and senseless happiness that I'm not sure anything I say here can even come close to describing how wonderful and special he has made my life.
[ 14 October 2002, 00:27: Message edited by: fluffy napalm fairy (Ros) ] Geologists do it in the dirt................
For 3yrs i battled with severe anxiety attacks... to put you all in the picture as to how they felt... you know that feeling like 5 seconds b4 your hurl, gut cramping.. hot flush and shortness of breath whilst trying to hold down stomach contents. OK so that used to happen almost every single time i went out, mainly crowded places or just places where there were 10 or more people i didnt know. Valura took me to my first social twirling gathering... firstly i had only known valura thru 2 emails and a 5min conversation.. and going to a place where i knew no one, this wouldve surely triggered off an attack. I felt quite quezzy (sp) b4 we left... but when i got there all was fine Quality of life has improved 10 fold... and although im not completely over my attacks... they now appear very few and far between. Its not just the fire its the people
How can I put this... those pompus asses are the sad ones, you should pitty them for not finding something to love. Or even try to teach them. Share your joy. I bet that would be even more rewarding. Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
It's good to see the sharing going on here It does seem to me that poi opens up new possibilites and thinkings to people, espically in the UK where it's a portal to an 'alternative' culture for people. Not too sure about if this is true around the world. But everywhere it's a common link to other people who also spin, and this promotes contact and intimacy between people. This brings with it positive effects to our mental and physical health. This is how I think I've gained from spinning, meeting some very lovely, wonderful people that have benefitted me.
When you're spinning you're also in a place of peace and comfort, a retreat from a world we may not be happy with. And it brings with it a sense of achievement, but more importantly a sense of calm, and a calm soul is a happier soul.
hmmm my life was saved before i got into staff, (i was a refugee when i was small) and i'm too cheerful to really to stay too sad. but i can say that firetwirling has given me a pastime i can finally call a lifetime's passion. (my next best candidate -cow tipping- was too dangerous. better a flame than a pissed off bull i say.)
woot! Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always
quote:Originally posted by dromepixie: You ever had 40+ cows stare at you in unison wondering WTF you are doing?! Much love, Drome
omg you know the feeling!!! how many people did you get to do it? they're sooooooooooo heavy!!! i was told it's cruel cos they're up sheet creek once they're stuck on their sides... not as offensive as dwarf tossing either (it's illegal to toss in public in Australia) Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always
Oh, this is TERRIBLE! You are all PSYCHIATRICALLY ABNORMAL! You need to be on Lithium and Depakote and Celexa! But you all spin fire, therefore, you are all druggies, so I can't trust you with valium because you might abuse it.
Honestly, heaven forbid that someone find a way of dealing with a problem that doesn't involve meds. I'm not saying anything bad about meds, but I am saying that meditation, finding an activity, finding something on which you can focus your energies and from which you can develop a passion.... Well, that's a powerful healing force. -Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
quote:I've been told i'm "sad" for giving life saving credit to fire art
how can someone be considered "sad" cos fire got them out of depression??? like OMG! they are the sad ones for thinking drugs are the only answer.
i get slightly depressed every day cos of work (i hate where i am, and who i work with... so anger gets built up- ARG!) and when i get home- i get out my poi and swing for an hour, maybe two. and if i learn a new trick, or perfect something, i am happy as all hell.
so in my eyes- no1 can deny the positive power of the fire arts! And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go. It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.
Yo Mike, I'll bite coz that's not that far off the mark.
Take some lithium, a drug for maniacs, some depakote (or epilim) an anti-convulsant, add some celexa, a SSRI, and you have a cure all.
Well take out the SSRI, and chuck in a minor tranquilliser like xanax for anxiety, and that's wot a close family member has been prescribed.
I hope you make it because there must be betta ways than the kinda shit many doc's are dishing out these days. And, hey the other thing is that they never tell you about the side-effects.
Apologies for the rant. If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh
Mix Lithuim and meths and you get red fire! No wonder I was so happy after spinning Lithuim (Strugz - any luck with my next installment??)
Anyway - poi saved my life too.. All my friends had 'something' either matial arts or partners that filled the gaps on wet afternoons - I was sick of the tele and had too much going on in my head to read more.. Buddhism, taoism.. the other saviours in my life - but I needed peace of mind and clarity to be able to digest- which I get from poi and staff. Being capable of being precise in the swings os more difficult than people imagine.. as you guys know..
So my friend you are not the only one - now I need to work on being able to cope in crowds - I didn't stay too long at the last PIP as there were too many people I started to flip..
and Fee I totally understand.. we seem to be sisters locked by our own silliness.. I honour you as an aspect of myself..
You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..
i have to post on this one. now i was not a manic depressant by any means. i do not know the pains of that infliction. kudos to you for finding a passion in life to help you. that is wonderful!!
for me it was a confidence thing. before i started with my fire. i was a shy, not very outgoing person. but now that i have somethng that i know i am good at, believe it or not i am full of confidence. it is a wonderful treat to be able to beon stage doing what i love best. it has opened up a whole new world.
not to mention i have become something of a ladies man since... anyone got a light?
DioHoP Mechanical Engineer
729 posts Location: OK, USA
Fire Dancing has turned my life around as well!
Can't say I have had anything clinically diagnosed but I have been thru a lot myself and can understand (if to a lesser extent) how everyone in this thread has felt. Fire has been the solution to two of my major problems in life: 1.) Weight Issues 2.) Depression
At age 16 I was 5'7" and 240lbs (170cm/108kg), needless to say that was incredibly overweight. After a few years I got back down to healthy muscular average size (I've got pics up now!) but I still look in the mirror and see the old me sometimes.
About a year ago I also got cheated on for a month and then dumped by my girl of 3 years, which was a HUGE blow to my confidence and self-esteem. I kinda down-spiralled (alcohol, depression, feeling like I had nothing left worth caring about) for about 5 months.
Then I picked up a pair of glowsticks on strings (yeah, I actually started out this way) at a rave and it all just started coming together. I found some fire spinners in my local area and found something I had a knack for that looked totally cool and was very good exercise for me! It was also a very cheap hobby (self-built choker chain poi $6, gallon of fuel $2, enthusiastic cheers of an audience of 200 people - priceless!).
My first paid show was a few weeks ago, and is the first time I have EVER taken my shirt off in public. I've got a passion, and I feel great about myself even when I'm not spinning. My life has since been great, even with the bumps in the road of life that at one time might have really gotten to me.
And of course I've also made countless friends as a result I truly appreciate each and every one of you! What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.
i 'was' manic depressive ( i say 'was' because i was diagnosed with it) but don't have it anymore. what no one tells you is that it's controllable. they tell you it's something chemical in your brain that you have no power over (well except for their prescious prescriptions) and since it sounds like fact (after all, doctors in a health care system that's run by pharmacutical companies know best right?), you believe it.
funny, if you don't have control over your own body, who does? it communicates with you all the time, and you can listen and communicate with it.
if you constantly tell yourself "i'm manic depressive" you're going to send the message to your body that it's true. psychosamatic styles.
all you have to do is really truly believe that it doesn't exsist. after all 'it' is just a label they use. everyone's brain chemicals flucuate. if your's do it a little more drastically, check your diet or lifestyle.
i personally have gotten over it as well as helping a friend get over it. without meds, without anything, just will-power, faith, and the personal strength i know you all have. you just have to grasp it first, and believe in it.
look at our bodies and minds. do you think lifeforms this complex are capable of only popping a pill and pushing a pencil? you're all strong enough, you just have to try! orangu-funking-tan
quote:Originally posted by MikeGinny: Honestly, heaven forbid that someone find a way of dealing with a problem that doesn't involve meds. I'm not saying anything bad about meds, but I am saying that meditation, finding an activity, finding something on which you can focus your energies and from which you can develop a passion.... Well, that's a powerful healing force.
yes! that is the truth! modern western science treats the body on a per illness basis. you get this sickness, you take this! you get that sickness, you take that!
a remedial focus.
eastern/esoteric understanding of us is that alot of problems are prevented by treating the person as a harmony of body, spirit, mind. A lot of illnesses are explained by it's disharmony. Many modern drugs are derived from chinese medicine, whose exotic ingredients are giving rise to new compounds. This understanding of balance is the very basis of traditional (and foul tasting) chinese cures - the prescriptions are always aimed at achieving 'balance' (but some quacks undermine the whole lot by insisting on endangered species..) eastern/esoteric beliefs give you an explanation when western science gives up on the very very common occurance of healthy bodys and unhappy minds in society. we are a balance, and it is in the best interests of your health, (physical, mental, spiritual) to treat it as such. exercise all of them and you will be strong in all three! Life is an incredibly rewarding experience when such balance exists - the chi can then be harvested... but that's another story for another thread... Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always
PukSILVER Member Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Most outstanding Bender !. He's Right on it there. But basically you've fill a void with something wonderfull (I say this cause i understand where you are comeing from (long time ago different story )).
Anyperson can acheive anything if they don't have fear in their heart!. that shrewd and knavish sprite
Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy