Forums > Social Discussion > Broken Hearts-rant away, I did.

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blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
I recently got my heart broken, I didn't realize it at the time, but it was the first time in my life that it happened to me.

I've felt pain and sadness before, along with that really empty feeling,and assumed that I had a broken heart, but oh no, this time it was real. I swear I actually heard it the moment it broke,and thinking back on it now, I still get pangs of pain in my chest. Actual physical pain.

I thought I had prepared myself for what was to happen, I thought I was ok, and when the moment came I delt with it gracefully, it was not til later when the reality hit, that I broke down. Although I'm not drowning in depression , and I'm very much ok, and I'm largely accepting it, I still have this underlying sadness that I'm not really aware of. One of my friends who I hadn't seen for a while told me recently that I have lost my sparkle, this is what disturbs me more. I harbour no ill will, and I would'nt really change a thing, but it's this underlying sadness,this hidden fear, this loss of sparkle thats making me slip back into it.

I'm not angry, or depressed, I just want my sparkle back.

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
I'm sticky enough thanks Tink ubblol ....but your help/offer is appreciated. hug

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
broken hearts? well, when all his friends ask you repeatedly why you broke up and his boss says that because he "allegedly" stole money (i dont believe he did, he is just an easy scapegoat for the boss) that you, the EX GIRLFRIEND can make i up.

being back in a small country town where you had a very public relationship sucks.

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Red HotMember
25 posts
Location: Manchester


Posted:
Im goin through the same thing at the moment. Its all a bit fresh so I cant write about it yet I dont think! We only broke up a month ago and as far as I was conserned she was the one and I still feel the same. Since we split up Ive seen all my friends who ive naglected for so long and I am happy but as soon as I have 5 to myself I feel like I miss her more than ever.
Weve been out a few times for drinks and its been really nice but it always leaves me wanting more than I can have.
StephenM, I know exactly what you mean about the one night stand thing. You end up feeling worse than when you started.

Hang in there guys. Appreciate single life for what it is. The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing!

Fire breather turned spinner


TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
*pines like a puppy for her master!*

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
*bump*

My life is strange - I don't know whether I'm coming or going lately.

So many choices to make, and I can't make them in fear of hurting other people.

Someone always gets hurt. yes I know there's only a handful of people who i've told about my situation at the moment, and I shant go into detail. It's just annoying the hell out of me at the moment and making me very grumpy frown

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


Natstarnewbie
3 posts
Location: Sutherland Shire-Sydney


Posted:
I too know how you all feel it's been a year now since we parted
and i still think of him day and night even though he doesnt think of me as he has a new girlfriend and is living with her which kills me. I did the 8 months of getting blind drunk and having one night stands and always wanting something else but never getting it. Ive stopped doing that now and im starting to look after myself ive thrown myself into sport ( surf boat rowing) and i love it and ive met some great pp.

It wont go away it will only fade, im in the process of recording a song about this when its complete ill let you know and ill send you guys a copy. Some of my lyrics from my song called
'Leave me'

Get out of my head Im sick of your presence
I want to move on and forget your essence
Your infesting my soul and bringing me down
I cant stand the thought of you being
The thought of you being around

Its hard when you dont want to love them anymore and you dont want to think about them anymore cause you know there is someone better out there for you. But you just dont know how to stop the constant thinking day in and day out.

At least i know im not the only one going through this

RovoGOLD Member
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA


Posted:
A hour ago my girlfriend and I broke up. Just in time for the Holidays. It was very awkward she said she wanted that magic that everyone has when they first meet again and that she needs time alone. She also told me how much she loves and cares for me. We cried and we cried and then I grabbed the kerosene took my poi and left. It's a proven fact that the chemicals that give you that "love high" lessen as you become used to that person. We don't hate each other and we still care for another deeply but she craves that feeling. She didn't want that until a supposed good friend of mine kissed her two nights ago. She wants nothing to do with him but still it got her thinking and I am alone for now. If you are ever in a relationship and you lose that magic, remember your love is not gone with it. I guess she is just two young and immature to feel ok about staying with someone for a long time even tho we have not talked about anything serious at all and we were together for a year and a half. We've been through the worst and know every inch of one anothers soul or so I thought. There is a song in which a man is singing about two lovers and I always likened us to these two lovers after experiencing the most beautiful feeling I've ever had looking into Coreys eyes. "Two souls in Communion, both body and mind." https://arts.ucsc.edu/gdead/agdl/soul.html
That is a link to the lyrics. But I reccomend downloading the song its much better hearing it with music. Though now it is time for broken-hearted Hopper to go out in the snow to start a bon-fire with a friend and spin my worries away for the rest of the night.

Peace, Love, Circles


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Awww guys bighug's to all of you.



Tink, I am sure that you will make the right choices in the end. At the end of the day you have to look after number 1, because no one else will, so make the best choice for you. Take your time, weigh up your options, take a step back and make sure that you are fully aware of all your options before moving forward.



I wouldnt say that my heart is broken, but I am a little crushed at the moment. No, actually I am very crushed. Its got nothing to do with the other woman who is a beautiful and amazing creature..its all to do with him and the way he handled everything over by birthday,after I asked him not to, and accomodated him in every way that I could, and did things I didnt want to to make things easier for him.I dont think he did it on purpose....but ouch man, very ouch.Everything that he could have done to push my buttons and turn a friendly situation sour,he did.I dont think it was done with malice though.Thats all I will say as too many of you are aware of the situation. But yeah, I am crushed.



But I am single again,and that makes me happier.



hug to all.
EDITED_BY: blu_valley (1135696620)

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
hug 's to everyone again....

Tink, Blu as 2 people I care a lot about, I truely hope you are gonna be OK. You both Know I am here if you need me.

Tink... look out for yourself... and if it helps I'll pawn your gold star to raise funds for the aid Tink appeal.

Blu... I won't ask... as you know I'm close to both of you but I hope everything works out for you... I'm always here if you want me to try to entertain you wink oh..p.s... I got a monkey hat on sunday biggrin not quite the same but.... it fits ubblol

Rovo ... I don't know you but tough break dude hug hope everything works out and you find the person who just loves waking up next to you every morning.

I just hope I don't have to be in this thread again. good luck everyone grouphug

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug grouphug hug

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


jublianGOLD Member
x
108 posts
Location: Melbourne, ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha, Australia


Posted:
I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago.
She was depressed and her docter advised that being in a relashionship wasn't the best thing for her.

I'm over her now, i feel guilty about that in a way and i feel i need a girlfriend now for some reason. i've never felt like that before. I wanna meet new people but i'm not very good at it, there has to be some common ground.


Boohoo

"Quote coming soon..."


TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
Accused of having an affair!

I got back from poi rehersal at 9pm last night.
Sat down, gave the baby a cuddle, and proceeded to share my night's details with my partner. Normally there are 8 of us but last night there were only four, Me being the only adult. We have to choreograph for a glow show in five weeks. The girls used to do cheerleading so understood how choreographing works. The night was a laugh, regardless of their ages.

Anyway, as I finished my sentence, he turned around and began questioning me. "How many?" and "how old are they?" Then things like "and when were you going to tell me about this show?" I mentioned it before, and the newsletter has sitting on top of the printer next to the pc since the 14th of feb. I told him this and he turns round and says - get this guys -
I'm getting very suspicious of you, walking to shady areas of town, not telling me things, for all I know you could be having an affair!

I say - Scott! oh my god, you think I'd go to all that trouble? I can't believe you just said that!

Then he goes - well you did dress up to go out - what am I supposed to think. I think your dressing up to go meet some guy

Now I already had make-up on from earlier, I just added some gloss as my lips were a bit dry, and I put gel in my fringe to stop the stray ends from popping up. Oh yes, and I put on a red top, which was long sleeved, high necked. I was so gobsmacked he said it that I just stared at him, bewildered, my mouth open. Then he walked out the room.

What the hell am I supposed to do? He doesn't trust me, he hasn't been intimate with me for nearly 15 months, He has major issues. I've never asked him to change, yet I have to dress the way he chooses. In my heart I'm a rock chick. Not a bloody trophy.

If I was a trophy I'd have a flame in my hand and a breeze up my skirt, and a crown on my head. just like the Statue of Liberty.
biggrin

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
aww sorry about that Tink. My advice...when you can escape- do it!! biggrin in the meantime, hold tight, and dont let him get you down hun! of course he's gonna be jealous, you're an absolute stunner! biggrin

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
ditto


hugs for tinkle hughug2hug

faith enfireBRONZE Member
wandering thru the woods of WI
3,556 posts
Location: Wisconsin, USA


Posted:
stupid boys
i understand what you are going through

Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed


MedusaSILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia


Posted:
Thought I would bump this thread again as I have just had my heart broken by someone who I love so dearly.

I have been seeing this person for about a year now (we had been friends for about three years prior to this) and he is the reason I came to London in the first place. he begged me to come with him and that he couldn't stand the thought of being away from me.

After MUCH talking and cajoling I was coerced into coming to London and now I find myself alone and lonely.

See about two months ago I started noticing that he was being a bit off sidish with me and that he wasn't talking to me or we were arguing quite a bit about silly things. I passed it off as being a phase that we could work through together, so I tried harder.

A month ago I confronted him cause I was getting a bit desperate as it seemd all my efforts were not being met, I was losing my temper all the time due to him not communicating with me. I was told there was nothing wrong, it was aphase and that it would smooth itself out.

So last Thursday we went out to dinner and I noted that he was smoking again, asked him what was wrong, he said "issues" when I asked if it was about us, he said yes...and that is when he laid it all out....

For the last couple of months he hasn't known what he has been feeling about me, whether he is in love with me or if he is just comfortable with me....see he cares for me (this is what he said) but he doesn't want to be with me if he is just staying because he thinks he can't get any better or because he is just comfortable with me.

So I said (very calmly) fine so what do you want to do, do you want a break or do you want to try to seriously work this out together. We talked it round and around till he finally said he was willing to try anything to try to make us work and we would try to work it out together.

(sorry this is getting long I know)....

Anyway the next day I started to get angry (after being so calm) why hadn't he told me this when I approached him a month ago if he was feeling this way for a couple of months....why hadn't he been honest with me in the start.

So we talked again. tears and tears...and he again promised to try and stay and work it out. He said he was going to move out on the weekend (yes we live together). An hour later after talkng and crying some more, he again said no he would try to work things through with me.

Then Saturday night came and he asked me out to join him and some friends with him at a club, now I know he wanted some time to himself by this stage so I asked him (this is over the phone at this stage by the way) if i was welcome to come....he then said "I can't handle this it's over" to me...just like that.

I told him he was gutless for breaking up with me over the phone and he then changed his mind...no we weren't over, just come and have a night out and some fun....what the....?

So come Sunday morning after having my emotions yanked back and forward I was an emotional wreck and couldn't handle it anymore....

I rang a friend with a spare room and moved out on Sunday afternoon.

And that is where you would think the story would end right...ha...so wrong.

So Chris (my boyfriend?? I don't know) helped me move my suitcases into the new house on Sunday afternoon. He then said we are going to try to start over again...he is going to take me out on proper dates to see if we can still work things out and if it was just him being a complete dick and he does want to be with me or whether he really does need to properly break up with me.

Now after moving all my [censored] into the place by 6 at night, I then had to go get dinner. "I'll come with you" he says to me...then I had to go shopping "I'll come with you" he says...then he stays for another hour and a half at the new place talking with me like nothing is wrong...when he goes to leave he pulls me into a hug and then won't let go of me for a full ten minutes...kisses me, hugs me again...half an hour later I finally get him out the door.

I am so confused and so hurt, I love this guy to peices but is the emotional heartache and yo-yoing is hurting me so much. I don't think I have cried so much in one weekend as this one just gone.

Sorry to go one for so long.

LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug
Poor thing

MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
hug to the peeps above me wink all of them

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


jeff(fake)Scientist of Fortune
1,189 posts
Location: Edinburgh


Posted:
ubbcrying

These aren't even manly tears I'm shedding after reading that...

According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Dynamics, we may already be making love right now...


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
aww Medusa, what a total w-a-n-k-e-r!!! mad mad mad spank spank spank censored censored censoredThis makes me so angry. First of all he gets you to move to London because "he cant stand the thought of being away from you", then when you're both settled he gets bored. then, as soon as he thinks "oh god, i might lose her" he gets all lovey-dovey with you.
He sounds like a spineless moron who doesnt know what he wants. you're fed up with having your emotions played with, then you set the rules: tell him you've had enough.
i'm sorry you've been treated like crap, I really hope you feel better soon and pull through. And, you live in london, thats an hour away from me, i'd gladly come over and give you a cuddle hug hug hug hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


MedusaSILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia


Posted:
I will gladly take you up on that cuddle jo_rhymes...

thanks guys....

He hasn't been able to stop contacting me now and you know what I am playing hard to get...if he wants me back he is going to have to work damn hard at it.

He came saw me for lunch yesterday and said he wante to take me out on a date to see if we could work things out....I shrugged and said "well you better make it good then"...he wanted hints of where he could take me "surprise me"...

He then rang me in the evening and asked me to come over for dinner, he was cooking...."sorry already had dinner"...

I know I shouldn't be being so blase when really in my heart all i want is for him to beg me to come back to him...but hell I need to make sure that this time round he is really going to make a damn effort...I put so much hard work into that relationship...so now it is his turn. When I can see that he is really ready and willing to make us work then I will make his life easier.

At least for the past day and a half I haven't been crying...I am actually not feeling too bad...a bit lonely but all over I know I will be okay.

Although the poor guys I am living with are a bit scared cause every now and then i spout some nasty anti-male sentiment from my mouth.

MojojoGOLD Member
wandering dingo
167 posts
Location: Aussie in London, Australia


Posted:
I agree with what the other Jo said. Even if he does work really hard, beg, and convince you to come back, I'd say the chances of a repeat a few months down the track might be pretty good. It might work out too, hard to say. But I think maybe you know deep down if it really will.
I was in a relationship like that for a couple of years, and by the time it was finally over, I wished to hell I had the courage to walkaway completely the first, or even second or third times I had my heart shredded, and not wasted another year in limbo. But I kept going back every time.
It's hard though.
You are a fantastic gal and deserve someone really wonderful. Just make the most of YOUR time over there. Live it and enjoy it for YOURSELF and not waste it in mourning over him.
hug

Only three things are certain: Death, Taxes, and that England will not win back the Ashes in this lifetime.


BirgitBRONZE Member
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)


Posted:
Just out of curiosity...

Maybe the following has something to do with him turning into what you some on here now describe as "a total w-a-n-k-e-r" etc without even having met him (which I think is quite poor, before insulting someone you should at least know him, or know both sides of the story).

Written by: Medusa


I also have a habit of picking people to pieces in my mind, especially if they are nice to me, I find all the fault so that I won't like them.
(...)
The fact that i have this perfectly normal and great guy in my life but I feel the need to pick him to shred and make him feel like crap just because I feel insecure. I mean last night he spent five minutes on the computer doing work that needed to be done and I got angry with him and then we spent three hours going through every tiny little minute problem that we have (I mean we are talking the stuff the doesn't even matter) and we got down to the "I'm not sure if I love you anymore" statement from him to me.

I seem to pick a fight with him just cause I can. I don't know why.





So it's not like you haven't seen it coming AND posted it on HoP...

Mind you, I'm not having a go, but it seems there's been hurtful behaviour from both sides, and that's just from what you say, without even having heard from him. So I'm not sure he deserves a public slagging-off shrug

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
WOW...............................that sucks big time medusa hug

i hope things turn out well for you be it meeting someone who treats you right or your boyfriend gets his ass in gear and you get back together hug

blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to remove..." -W. Shakespear.


Oh dear Madusa,from the sounds of it,hes just a confused boy and is trying to protect himself. I dont think that he is playing with your feelings intentionally. From what I can gather, you seem to be pretty confused about it all too. There seem to be two people in this realtionship that arnt to sure how they feel. At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for yourself, however painful that may be. Take the time to think it over and be sure about what YOU want and then ask for it. It will do no harm. I know I'm not exactly one to practice what I preach, but honesty, true brutal honesty is the best way to go. If you are not happy, then it doesnt matter whose fault it is at the end of the day. The fact is that there is a fault and can you/are you willing to fix it?

Good luck Honey hug

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


MedusaSILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia


Posted:
The only reason that I felt I was picking him to pieces (if you note the dates and what I have typed here about confronting him around those dates....) was because I was confronting him and he was saying nothing was wrong...

So that made me feel like I was picking on him for no reason...

Now he has come back say he felt like this for some time...well I was picking up there was something worng he just wasn't man enough to damn well tell me.

jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
Medusa! You go girl!! biggrin Make him work for you, and let him know he doesnt deserve you! he should never have taken you for granted, and now the ball's in your court! biggrin well done!! hug hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


BirgitBRONZE Member
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)


Posted:
You did say you were always trying to find fault in people, that's why I posted your quote. Maybe he's realised that and thought there WAS a fault in him? (And I still feel I was right to put in a word for him for being slagged off by people who don't even know him...)

But anyways, I don't know your situation well enough, and I'll certainly not try to cover over the fact that you feel horrible about the whole situation by putting fault on you!!

So if you want him to beg you to come back, and he's said he wants to try dates and starting over new, and asks for you on the phone, where is the problem? I don't think playing hard to get is the right thing to do now, cause that might just confirm him in his doubts.

hug

good luck getting it all sorted out!!

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
Birgit, obviously medusa's bf isnt a w-a-n-k-e-r, or she wouldnt have chosen him. smile but for the purpose of this conversation and how he's messed her around recently, he's certainly been acting like one!
You're right I dont know him, or anything about him, However I do know how useless you can feel when something like this happens and all you can feel is love towards some guy that's treating you like utter crap.
Medusa needs to get back in control of the situation, and perhaps using anger is the best way. Sorry if I annoyed you by calling her bf a w-a-n-k-e-r. hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


MedusaSILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia


Posted:
Like I said my finding fault was me thinking I was finding fault, him saying there wasn't but then later admitting there had been all along...that he had just been trying to deal with it himself but now couldn't so he decided to tell me...

So there was a fault all along to pick on just that he wouldn't damn well admit it to me.

In no way am I saying that he is a wan-ker but this constant pushing and pulling that he has been putting me through is tearing me apart...I don't need that from him. he knows what I am like, has for a while and knows that he should have told me there was a problem from the moment he even thought there may have been even the slightest little problem...not waited till a couple of months down the track...

I have every right to make him work for me back as far as I see it...if he goes running like a scared little rabbit at the work that he is having to put in (and remember he is the one who shattered our relationship and trust NOT me!) then he is obviously going to just do the same thing in a couple of months...I'm not saying I am going to make him bleed but I want to know that this time round he is going to take it seriously and not just play with my emotions...and I think that is perfectly fair...i don't think I should have to just walk back into his life at his beck and command only to have to go through this again in another couple of months.

I know how I feel about him...I love him deeply but he is the one having doubts....so if he can't handle a little bit of hard work to actually take me on dates and help build the trust again then obviously I should save myself the heartache...

I want to be certain this time round not hurt again....

Now don't get me wrong I know that some of our issues are related to me....but why didn't he tell me about them on the number of accassions that I asked him about it....

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