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Forums > Social Discussion > Broken Hearts-rant away, I did.

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:I recently got my heart broken, I didn't realize it at the time, but it was the first time in my life that it happened to me.

I've felt pain and sadness before, along with that really empty feeling,and assumed that I had a broken heart, but oh no, this time it was real. I swear I actually heard it the moment it broke,and thinking back on it now, I still get pangs of pain in my chest. Actual physical pain.

I thought I had prepared myself for what was to happen, I thought I was ok, and when the moment came I delt with it gracefully, it was not til later when the reality hit, that I broke down. Although I'm not drowning in depression , and I'm very much ok, and I'm largely accepting it, I still have this underlying sadness that I'm not really aware of. One of my friends who I hadn't seen for a while told me recently that I have lost my sparkle, this is what disturbs me more. I harbour no ill will, and I would'nt really change a thing, but it's this underlying sadness,this hidden fear, this loss of sparkle thats making me slip back into it.

I'm not angry, or depressed, I just want my sparkle back.


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:Thanks for that Ruliath and
Hugs to lost83Spy and mynci hug

My sparkle is slowly comming back,but around every turn theres something waiting to take some of it back, does anyone else find this keeps happenng to them too?

The nasty circle continues..

A very good friend told me recently that he wanted to be more than just friends. He knows of all my recent hardships on the relationship front but wont accept that I dont want to commit to anything. I absolutely adore him and fancy him to a degree I suppose, but all Im capable of at the moment is no-strings fun , not to say there isnt a chance for some thing in the future (anythings possible),but at the moment., I dont want a relationship,and I I enjoy the fact that I am single and can do what I please with whom I please. The problem is that my friend is now hurting because of it, and its breaking my heart.

Ive explained my situation to him ,but hes taking my refusal as an ultimate rejection and hes very unhappy. Every time I see him (which is basically every day,) I feel so extremely guilty, and pressured. I hate the fact that its me that is making him so unhappy, and another friend is now not talking to me because of it and being really nasty to me and calling me a whore. I dont know what else I can do. Its all been blown way out of proportion,granted,it has been a series of unfortunate events. I dont see how I come out to be the bad guy, I mean, Im good, but I'm not that good.

If he really cared so much he wouldnt be doing this to me ,so I know Ive made the right decision, but its far from pleasant at the moment,and I think Ive just lost two of my oldest friends (our parents have been friends since we were young and I guess we remind each other of home a lot of the time).I never expected this from him.I didnt even do anything wrong!I'm just sad about it all I guess. frown

*crawls back under rock*


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Lost83spy
Lost83spy

Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
Location: Somewhere, out there...
Member Since: 14th Sep 2005
Total posts: 587
Posted:Dont be sad * takes hand and pulls blu from under rock*

Lotsa, lotsa hugs hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

I really feel for you blu! Its not your fault, at least you were honest from the start. If thats the way they are going to handle it, then they arent being very fair.

Man! I dont really have any good advice today! Maybe you should keep talking to them, well, try to. At least let them know that you are still their friend.

Sorry for the lack of advice. But if you ever need to talk, just PM me hug


It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan

*Owner of Brenn*

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:Thanks Lost83spy. hug

I know it will all turn out in the end, Its just a bit yucky at the mo.
hug


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:uber hug blu. and if you ever need me you know where I am, I'll be there in a shot. You're top and have cheered me up no end if ever you need some-one to come and say " Har-row!!!" then you know this boy will turn up in his bananana ubblol thats what Lee's are for wink if that don't work my hamspter will make ya smile. kevins the cutest little girl I ever did see (think she's a ginster = half guinea pig half hamster....unlike leonard = half cat half monkey)

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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LMSP
LMSP

veteran

Member Since: 23rd Aug 2005
Total posts: 1588
Posted:aw blu hunny, you sound so sad hug hug hug hug hug hug
EDITED_BY: LilMissSmartyPants (1127559385)


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screech
screech

circling on the edge of madness
Location: away with the faeries
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 889
Posted:blu hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

i know what you mean hon i've been in that situation before. and surely it can't help having 2 people tell you they like you in the space of a week. hug hug hug

i understand bout wanting to be single and have fun too commitment is not good specially when you've just had a long term thing you need healing time to learn to trust people not to hurt you again. beerchug hug


finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv

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Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:hug

ow, blue, you're having a crazy time of it....

hug

god i just am starting to get my best friend back again, we've been friends longer than anyone else and i have, and she's been in a bad realationship for two years... just getting out, and not even for the right reasons but at least she's getting out..... she's still more distant than she used to be tho.

and god, i too should really be more careful about entering into relationships at this point...

hug

totally best of lucj sweetie, maybe he;ll come around and realize how hes acting it happens...


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:Get hammered blu...worked for me.;) hug

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:blu is hammered!

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:hug yay Harrow!!! hug

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:Well,I've tried talking to my friend to no avail and I even cried at lunch today when I spoke to him (not something I do often in this kind of situation). I cant help feeling that there is something else going on to upset him and hes just blaming his sadness on this situation. I refuse to be guilted into a relationship with this boy, but things are about to become even harder as i am currently staying with some friends, on a fouton in the lounge, and he will be moving in in a week and claiming the sofa. I was supposed to be moved out by now but fate is playing with me and now it looks as though I wont be able to move until mid-October,so I'm stuck. This is going to be so awkward.... I just want to scream!!!

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug

I'd offer you a place at mine hun but it's a long way to work even so you're more than welcome. It really is the least I can do in return. grouphug


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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screech
screech

circling on the edge of madness
Location: away with the faeries
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 889
Posted:hon you know you can escape to mine any time you need to get away.

and plus mr mynci is here too


finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv

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Lost83spy
Lost83spy

Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
Location: Somewhere, out there...
Member Since: 14th Sep 2005
Total posts: 587
Posted:I would offer you a place, but I'm way too far from you frown

I really hope things are working out for you. I think you are right about that guy though. There must be something else bothering him if he's really that upset.

Thinking of you hug


It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan

*Owner of Brenn*

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TinklePants
TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr
Member Since: 3rd Jul 2005
Total posts: 4217
Posted:Hugs hug blu

I have a question.
Am I scary? I mean, do I freak people out? Why, whenever I open my mouth, people runaway in horror? I can't control what escapes my gob most of the time and at other times, I find it difficult to explain myself.

Yes I'm just as confused as you are to why I posted this but I'm feeling down.

Roll on Wednesday!!! (fire and paraffin are my only friends now frown)


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:hug your not scary Ms Tink... and we all like you so you have more friends than you think wink biggrin

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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Lost83spy
Lost83spy

Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
Location: Somewhere, out there...
Member Since: 14th Sep 2005
Total posts: 587
Posted:Aahh Tink, I dont find you scary at all.

You seem so nice to me biggrin


It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan

*Owner of Brenn*

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:Thanks for the offers all, hug it seems that copious amounts of alchohol,an argument, tears and a long long chat have made things a lot better. Hes not going to move in till I have left and we are at least on civil terms now. I find myself careing less and less.

Aww Tammie hug Mynci is right. You have more friends on HOP than you know. Everytime I feel a little down I watch your Bella from Tweenies Impression and it always makes me feel better. Anytime youre feeling low, feel free to PM me. Big hugs your way hun. hug


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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screech
screech

circling on the edge of madness
Location: away with the faeries
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 889
Posted:Ms Tink how can anyone think you're scary. just a little bit mad thats all, and i think that applies to everyone else on HoP too but thats what makes everyone so much fun to know.

hug hug hug


finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv

Delete

Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:screech.....speak for yerself hippy ubblol

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:Thats bloody hippy! ubblol

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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TinklePants
TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr
Member Since: 3rd Jul 2005
Total posts: 4217
Posted:Screech - shouldnt you be making sure jaffa cakes aren't going missing? lol
EDITED_BY: TinklePants (1128518783)


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:Guys and girls, we had better keep it on topic before complete chaos insues.

Although its good to see that for the moment at least, there seem to be a lot more HOPpers who are content than nursing a broken heart.,,for the time being...

hug


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:very true blu (that rhymed ubblol) My heart is firmly back in 1 peice. and I am a happy hoppy biggrin

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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Lost83spy
Lost83spy

Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
Location: Somewhere, out there...
Member Since: 14th Sep 2005
Total posts: 587
Posted:Good to hear Mynci

ubbrollsmile


It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan

*Owner of Brenn*

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:going out on a limb here but ..... Does anyone think 2 broken hearts can be fixed by each other?

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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Lost83spy
Lost83spy

Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
Location: Somewhere, out there...
Member Since: 14th Sep 2005
Total posts: 587
Posted:I dont really know, honestly.

But I believe its possible. You could help each other get through the heartache because you both have experienced more or less of the same thing.


It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan

*Owner of Brenn*

Delete

blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:I think one thing you need to be aware of is that two broken hears come along with two seperate sets of issues. Any actions under the influence of a recently broken heart are not to be likened to the actions that would have been taken had the heart been in a state of repair.Clouded judgements should be avoided, and you should be weary it doesnt turn into a competition.

The way I see it though, at least with two broken hearts, you start off on a similar level and a problem shared is a problem halved,so instead of having one big problem, you only have two little half-problems...much easier to work through. Two recently wounded will also be less likely to wound another so quickly, so vulnerability brings honesty.

The most important thing though, is that one person cannot mend anothers heart. Only you can heal yourself, and to try and place that responsibility onto someone else is unfair. As long as you are aware of that, you can begin working through it.


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:well said blu....I have to agree. hug hope the new house is great and you had a good start....

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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TinklePants
TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr
Member Since: 3rd Jul 2005
Total posts: 4217
Posted:I have superglue if anyone wants it lol

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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