• All Purchases made this month instantly go into the draw to win a USD $ 100.00 credit to your HoP account.
 
Page: 12
dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:So here I am depressed writting to all those I love on home of poi asking for advice on life...

I am standing at the edge of a waterfall.
Its such a long way down... I am looking down and I am afraid, confused, and disorientated. I know I need to jump. I have to jump or I will loose my spirit. So where do I go, how do I jump?

Ok to make this a bit more understandable...

The jump symbolises me having to move out of my house. I cannot attain my degree now because my parents wont pay unless I live under their terms. To me living under their terms means sacrificing who I am and what I want to do. I feel trapped, imprisoned, and uncomfortable in this house. I CANNOT live under this roof anymore. That descision is made.

But now I have to jump but there are two ways I could jump.

I can move out of my house and go to some place in America (that scares me) where I would have to get a job, appartment, car, etc... All alone! I would go and make money hopefully saving some here and there so that I can do my degree at some stage.

or

I do have the option of getting married to stay in the united kingdom... now before anyone goes nuts about this one... There are reasons. I do trust the person I would be marrying not to take advantage of the situation...

I have weighed out my options and if I am moving out these are the only two things I can do that are readily at my disposal. If I got married I would move to Brighton, get a job, and a small appartment.

Now know that I dont have much money, neither do my parents. I dont know how to drive yet and know fuck all about cars... So going to the states would mean me needing to learn about those things in addition to learning how to live on my own with no family, friends, or even aquaintances around to help me. Living in Brighton would involve me getting married although I would not be living with that person.

I am so scared confused and generally mixed up about my options. I am trying to weigh it out but the scales seem evenly fucked all round...

So its time to jump...

How would you jump if you where put in my situation?

Much love and hugs, drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete Topic

flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:why america? why not take your powerful English Pound and come to Australia?

We'll look after you good and proper

(btw A good friend of mine actually co-founded The Drome)

I am slightly small and half scottish


HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:I only have an american passport...

How would I get a visa to stay somewhere like Aussie land???
Would they let me stay indefinately? I think not...

How would I make money?
Where would I live?

I understand that I could move to another country but they might not want me to stay for too long and then what? I am stuck in the same situation.

Is it possible to get someone to sponsor me into another country? Does anyone know about this?

I would like to avoid the states for now because moving there would fuck my head up. But how could I convince a country to adopt me without me being any impotant person in the grand sceme of things at the moment...

Much love, drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:poor drome hugs for you angel.

So, fill me in on some of the details - what country are you a citizen of? Dual citizenship?? How old are you?

To get into Australia and work, you can either get a working holiday visa which will give you a year to work and travel around the country, or you can get a tourist visa and find someone to pay you cash.

A canadian friend of mine came to Oz on a working holiday visa and is now dragging out his time here by playing the bureaucratic game - applying for sponsorship, applying for residence and if all else fails, I might let him marry me. (he's very gay, btw).

The last place I'd want to be is in the USA (no offence to anyone) and UK can be so bleak!

If you're still young and looking for yourself; come adventure on the sunny side of the planet! It's very cathartic


HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

Delete

Flynt
SILVER Member since May 2002

Flynt

Intrepid Penguin


Total posts: 5635
Posted:hey drome honey

firstly BIGHUGZ! making a decision like this has got to be driving you nuts! poor thing!

I would suggest writing out a list of all the pros and cons of each location, reasons for being there.

Mostly, do you want to stay in the UK? or does America hold untold opportunities for you? Im sure that if you do move to America there will be friendly HoPpers near by to lend a helping hand if needed, and the same with the UK!

How long would you have to stay married to this guy?


Currently on the right side up of the world.

Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:I am a citicen of the united states. I am 19 years of age legaly still a dependent of my parents in the united states.

I have no residence or affiliation with any other country. I dont even have residence in the states.

I have lived in the unted kingdom for 5 years but the UK government does not acknowledge that because I have been non-subject to imigration controls which means they ask me if I am staying for long in the united kingdom and when I say 'I am stationed here' they put the stamp on and let me walk no questions...

The point of me getting married is avoiding the united states as I think going there will slow my personal development which right now is going at lightning speed.

'The last place I'd want to be is in the USA (no offence to anyone) and UK can be so bleak!'
I feel the same way flash!

I would be married to this person who I have been with for two years until I gained UK residence or a UK pasoprt which takes I think five years but since I can prove that I have lived here the foreign office might make an exception and give it to me earlier.

I have written down a list of the pros and cons and thats not too easy when I dont even know where I would move in America. It would have to be a large city ie New York, Los Angeles, San Fran, Boston, Houston, Dallas, something like that... but not MIAMI! I dont like the idea of miami...

Much love, drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

Flynt
SILVER Member since May 2002

Flynt

Intrepid Penguin


Total posts: 5635
Posted:Drome, is marrying this person, going to have a negative impact on your relationship with them??? something you might want to consider...

Currently on the right side up of the world.

Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:I know I can handle it.
The problem is I am not sure if he can.

To me it wont change a thing between us except that I will gain a different sort of respect if he does go through with it because it trully is a selfless act.

He is right now trying to decide. He told me he would before it came to be a real situation that we had to confront which it is now.
I asked him if given the situation would he... We have been talkign about it seriously for two days now and I am speaking to him tomorrow to see how his mind is on the situation.

I am unsure how it would affect my relationship with him but I am also unsure of how moving away from england could affect our relationship.

Its has also been considered...

Much love, drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:I really really want to write a witty response to this. But I fear it might upset you. So put me down as having saying something good, funny and a tad zany that didn't diminish from your topic or dire needs in any way.

OK?

plus hugs n stuff.


"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:Go ahead darling be witty...

I think today you could make me laugh.

Thant would be a good thing...

PS sorry for not sitting and having a chat with you and Ros... As you could see I was not in a condition to socialise...

Much love, Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:I was muchly impressed by your spinning though honey. Despite you and Lisa hiding under a tree . . .

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

Delete

Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Hello m'lil Drome girl...



I am naturally pretty cautious of the institution of marriage (I don't want to live in an institution, ba-boom tish!!!). So I would err on the side of not the marriage thing. I can imagine a ton of complications, that would probably not happen, but that would be my fear.

The big jump to the USA could mean an amazing growth period for you. It could also be bloody hard. Only you know what you are capable of, and where your dreams lie. But any time you need support, or if there is anything I can ever do for you (even from all the way over here), let me know. Even if it is just to tell you silly jokes


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Delete

Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There

Total posts: 6140
Posted:*massive *

You know when the time comes down to making a final decision it's only you who can decide.
Try and look down deep into your heart and see what you want to do...i know that may be hard

Whatever decision you make will be the right one, i'm sure on that

Sorry i cant be of much help!
Love
Alice


Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

Delete

fluffy napalm fairy


fluffy napalm fairy

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Brum / Dorset / Fairy Land

Total posts: 3638
Posted:I'm only little and I don't understand the world. It scares me. So I have very little of use to say.

But I very much wanted to extend to you a hug, a smile, a fairy cake and lots and lots of positive thoughts and energy AND the knowledge that whatever you do will turn out ok. Things do. What may seem like a black hole now will turn out to be a tunnel into and amazing fun-filled life.

It's a scary jump either way.
Love and hugs and stuff - sorry I can't be more helpful.

x-x-x


Geologists do it in the dirt................ spank

Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:Well I am not that upset about making the descision anymore...

A couple of nights of sleep have helped me calm down and be in a better state to review my options...

Marriage is an institution! I agree totally. I dont ever want to be involved in it that way. Fotunately my partner is of the same opinion so I can say that even if we stay together we will get a divorce as soon as possible as neither of us would like 'marriage.'

'The big jump to the USA could mean an amazing growth period for you. It could also be bloody hard. '

Thank Rozi. I didnt think of it that way.

I am so afraid of America. Well I am more afraid that I will pick the wrong city and ultimately hate it. Being on my own doesnt freak me out too much... I wanted to do that from the start... I can cook, clean, wash, etc... So maintaining a household is not an issue... I am more afraid of being totally alone. I have some family which I dont know in New York. I have some relatives in Chicago and finally I have many relatives / friends in California. I keep thinkng East/West but dont know which one?! I think a place like New York would be cool because it is apparently much like London and I think I have friends here who could hook me up with friends there.

Pls understand that I am not seeking a resolution to my problem here but merely others opinions so that I can think of this issue in as many ways possible before taking the jump.

The water is cold and I know I will freeze until I get used to the temperature. Now I am more confident in my jump. I am confident that I must jump. So my feet continue getting closer and closer to the edge and I can now see the water which I could fall into.

Much love, Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

real


member
Location: Milton Keynes

Total posts: 1
Posted:I seriously suggest you go home to mummy and daddy. You blatently can not cope alone. I was 16 years old when I moved out of home. It was tough but you just get on with it, not babble emotional clap trap to a bunch of stangers. Getting married to stay in a country is ILLEGAL, and no offense but there are a lot more deserving people than you. People from war torn countries who have had their entire families wiped out, they are not allowed entry so why should you?? In fact just get a grip of yourself and stop whinging things aren't that bad. I'm sure your parents are sound too, it's just you're not grown up enough to appreciate them yet.

keep it real

Delete

Glåss
DIAMOND Member since Nov 2001

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 2523
Posted:Err morning Drome
I can't help with your path.
At the top of the waterfall, whats the view like there, I bet its very beautiful place to be?
Keep smiling and enjoying it
Hugs
Drew
__________________________
Be


Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:Real:

First you dont know me so please dont make completely rude statements trying to make me feel like shit when I am in a transition in my life.

I am with mummy and daddy and dont need that.

This is what upsets me here.. Why did you need to do that? If you dont have anything constuctive to tell me then you are just posting to play with my mind at a time where that is the least I need.

I dont aprechiate it and hope that you understand why. If you have a problem with me pls take it up on Pms as I dont think everyone here would like seeing another argument.

I am sorry you dont apprechiate my stance but you know what the UK is my home and has been for five years.

Just so you dont get pissed off further and report me or something know that I have decided that marriage is not the way to go for my own reasons so dont worry i wont be ruining your country or fucking up your style of life.

Until next time pls be considerate I am at a fragile state and dont need senceless posts such as yours clouding my thought process. If you have nothing good to say then pls dont post in this thread.

Thanks and love to all, Drome

PS. Drew the vies is getting better and better the more I look down. I can now feel the mist on my skin. Its getting better and I am coping much better with the situation at the moment.

I'm gonna jump!


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:quote: It was tough but you just get on with it, not babble emotional clap trap to a bunch of stangers. Stand back peoples time for a rant.

I cannot tell you how pissed off that made me, real. You do not get what this site is about, do you? I know most of the people on this site, and even those who I am not so close to, I respect their opinion. This is another part of my social circle, an extension of the people who exist outside the net for me.

I have shared some very difficult times with them. In the same way that I have shared those times with friends outside the net. And these people have provided me with support, quite often with more support than those next to me.

I know at this point you are going to roll your eyes and say, "but you have never even met these people, they are not real (no pun intended)". Yes they are real, very real. Have you ever had a pen pal overseas? Did you meet this person? I bet even if you didn't you would still count them as a friend. This is just a different means of getting to know people. And in a lot of ways the distance can result in a more straightforward and honest response. You felt free to be rude and patronising in such a horribly honest way, didn't you?

I still have the intelligence, just as Drome does, to sift through the opinions to find the right course of action. Just in the same way as I would with friends in the outside world.

And if you problem with this thread, is that you don't like this sort of thread, then don't read them and don't respond to them . There is plenty of other stuff going on to occupy you.


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Delete

Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:Ignore real. He is obviously a self centred little person. Coiuldn't even be othered to post under his (or her ) usual name. and i suspect it was someone who posts a lot btw.

Mistress Drome pixie. are you sure that that is all your options? I reckon you should investigate more. Go to CAB (Citizen's Advice Bureau) and the american embassy and see what the say on the matter.

If all else fails you should consider marrying Spiral. He's done it before and is well versed in the matter.


"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

Delete

Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:apologies for spelling but it is 6am and i haven't slept much.

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

Delete

TheBovrilMonkey
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

TheBovrilMonkey

Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England

Total posts: 2629
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Rozi:
Stand back peoples time for a rant.
I'm glad someone else said something, I don't feel I have to now, which is lucky because I don't think I could have been as restrained

Sorry I don't have any other advice Drome, but I'm sure you'll land on your feet, where-ever you end up landing


But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:I have had issues with the American Embassy and their personnel dept. ie them fucking me over by with holding important information from me for a year. Information vital to me getting a job and getting educated in this country. The woman did it pourposly... My dad also has had issues with her with his paycheck and not getting paid for six months because they did not fill in the paperwork properly...

I have been looking for imformation for three years and no help or advice has been granted.

Yes the world is that fucked up...

I finally decided that I am moving to America... I think if my life is going to take the right course I have to know where I am from and understand it from an insiders point of view.

I made the choice yesterday but I am not moving until next summer as I want to go home during the summer and I need to make starting off cash for deposits on my appartment and for other tthings for me such as cookware etc... Its getting exciting to think I am going to be on my own soon. I have wanted it for so long and to be honest I am not sad anymore but for the hard earned friendships I will leave behind. I know I will meet those I need to see again and just bacause I am movign does not mean that I am never coming back
You just wait you brits...

Flash if I dont like America I am considering moving to Aussie Land in two to three years depends on what happens... Its one big adventure for me now. The shell shock of my choices was intense for a while but now I am in the mood to explore more of the world even if it is America... There are beautiful and ugly things everywhere I am looking forward too seeing the good and the bad of where I am from...

Much love hugs and respect to all... Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Drome that's one hard question because it’s your life and no one can live it for you. However, sussing it out, and asking for feedback is a pretty good step.

A good option would be to ask yourself "what do I really want to do? Where do I want to be in 5, 10 or 50 years time?" Then set yourself some goals. I know it probably sounds like shit, but try it.

I suspect I should be telling you to finish your degree; and hey if you don't finish it now when you're young, then you're gunna pay for it later. But, it's not the end of the world, just a pain, and lot's people cope.

Deep down my advice would be jump; go for it, and see the world. Drop in on your relatives in the States or your friends at HOP.

Don't get locked in, unless that's wot you "really" want to do.

Oops, better late than never, I suppose

[ 12 October 2002, 01:13: Message edited by: Stone ]


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:Stone a very nice suggestion which I have tried a couple of times during this ordeal when the time has come to make yet another trying descision in my life...

I have decided that I am moving away as I cannot get the essential music/fire contacts whilst living with my parents.

So I am going to get some contacts here whilst I still live here and then get references off them and add those to the south american ones I've already got along with my short course qualifications. So hopefully when i move to the US I will have a base and a starting point. I am sure some HOPers will help me. I am thinking California as it is the best option for my music contacts. Plus its so close to Mexico I will be able to indulge and travel at times which I think is well nice!!!

Anyways gotta jet now much love and hugs your way and thanks for the sound advice.

Much love to the caring loving family of HOP, Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:Did I help an ickle bit? I'd like to think so.

Tell you what. Even if I didn't I'll pretend that i did.


"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

Delete

Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:tum te tum

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:You and Ros are amazing people.

For this:
"Property of Fluffy Napalm Fairy. If found please return unscathed.
Prone to gravity and confusion induced by interaction with other humans.
Do not alarm or startle, fold, spindle or mutilate.
Do so at the risk of incurring the wrath of one very angry Napalm Fairy"

I must salute you two and your bond tis beautiful!

And yes ya did help!

Much love, the pixie...
the one who came to be in a lovely place called the drome.


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Well, you've got a couch to stay on in New York.

It's a big, dirty, intimidating, fast paced, crowded, hustling, bustling city. I love it more than anywhere else that I've been.

PM me if you want to seriously chat about New York City OR LA or San Fran as I've lived in all three and can easily and objectively compare. 90% of my friends that move to NYC fall in love with it and never want to leave. 10% get chewed up and spat back out.

Well, Kali finally woke up so I guess we're off to get some yummy Afghani food at the restaraunt below my apartment (c'mon, where else in the US can you say that?)


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Delete

Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:A thought. It's interesting how we get affected so easily by negative thoughts such as real's post. It seems to affect us a lot more than positive posts, when it should be the other way round. Expressing affection and compassion takes a lot more courage and energy than spouting some crap like real did. So why pay much attention to it? As somebody who gets the occasional personal insult I don't get affected by them because they're virtually powerless, whereas a thoughtful, positive or supporting post gives me so much.

So Drome, don't let one comment like real's get you down when you've got so much support.


Delete

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:the fine lineof balance strikes again three cheers for lovely DOM!

Muah to you!!!

Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

Page: 12

Similar Topics

Using the keywords [waterfall] we found the following similar topics.
1. Learn > Hoop > Mini hoop > waterfall (1 Hoop) *help/resource
2. Learn > Juggling > 3 Balls > Waterfall *help/resource for learning how to do the waterfall trick with 3 balls   some of the...
3. Learn > Hoop > Hula Hoop > Waterfall *help/resource
4. Learn > Hoop > Mini hoop > Waterfall (2 hoops) *help/resource
5. Forums > Waterfall [48 replies]

     Show more..