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DomBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK


Posted:
Do you believe in happiness?

Lately I've been very happy. It's hard to put a finger on why, it's generally everything. I'm very happy within myself and my random lot in this world. There's negative aspects hanging about but I'm seeing those as lessons to learn from and not letting them drag me down to their level. I've achieved a lot of the balance that I was looking for, and that's lead to a calm mind. I'm with the Dalai Lama in that I believe that a calm mind is more open to the happiness, joy and love in the every day world.

I read a chapter of a book written by a psychologist last night that pointed out that the aim of most Western psychologists, their training, theories and anti-depressant drugs, was aimed towards relieving depression or anxiety, resolving internal conflicts or relationship problems. However there was little talk or training of therapy leading to happiness. The goal was to make the patient less sad, not to make them happy.

Rarely in our upbringing or life are we given 'lessons' in what happiness is and how to achieve it. Even those charged with our mental stability don't seem that preoccupied with it's achievement. As consumers we're driven to believe that material wealth leads to happiness, when it so often leads to disappointment and unhappiness. It seems that our societies do not really believe that our predominant emotion can be happiness, rather that we should settle for islands of happiness in a sea of resigned contentment within mediocrity.

I believe in happiness, the true, deep down, high on life happiness. I believe that for the majority of our lives we can be happy. I believe to experience this we need to make a conscious shift and effort to actively experience happiness, to really see the wonders of life.

So, what do you think? Do you believe in happiness?

CassandraFroggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !


Posted:
Not only do I beleive in happiness, but I think it is my biggest ambition in life : to be happy and if possible make others happy as well very ambitious yet very rewarding

I beleive that being happy is a CHOICE as well. You don't chose what happens to you, but you chose what you do with it and how you view and live thigns .

I beleive hapiness is not easy but very simple indeed. I beleive happiness is in the little things even more than in the big ones.

And I beleive that without love there is no happiness for me.

I also think that in a yin / yang dynamic, you do need to experience some bad to recognize good and some sadness to seize happiness to its fullest.

As a teenager i felt comfortable in my sadness. It was what i knew best , i even think at some point i thought it was cool to be unhappy ...

and last bu not least, as much as many people think (and they are right) that you recognize your friends when you're in deep shit ... I STRONGLY beleive you recognize your true friends when they can actually genuinely share your happiness even when they are not so happy themselves...

SHINE ON
cassandra

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"


TheBovrilMonkeySILVER Member
Liquid Cow
2,629 posts
Location: High Wycombe, England


Posted:
Yes, I believe in it, but I'm finding it hard to get what I mean down in words that make sense, so I'll probably be back later when I've had time to work it out.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.


Kurobeimember
786 posts
Location: The Phire Kru


Posted:
erm.............yes..........

whats up with all the limitations?


dromepixieveteran
1,463 posts
Location: Florida


Posted:
I do I do I do...

*bounces in*

I agree with Cassanda and as I read her post I wanted to plagerise all of it so thats pretty much what I think but I'll leave you guys with something my Dad (bless his heart ) has always said to me:

There is only one person you have to please in life (make happy) and that is yourself. Once you do that those around you will be happy too.

Much love and happy feelings to all, Drome

Oh and Dom, compliments on the thoughtful post...

JUGGLEwithyourmind!


CassandraFroggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !


Posted:
And to illustrate Drome Pixie's father whom i hereby salute ) let me quote mandela again and again ..

Quote:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and faboulous?' Actually, who are not to be? You are a child of God. Yor playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing so enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of god which is within us. It is not in just some of us, it is in all of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

beleive in happiness, be happy and others will beleive in it thanks to you

Shine on
cass

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"


RoziSILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia


Posted:
Loving the thread, thanks Dom & thanks Cass

I do believe in happiness. But I also think that we have unfair expectations of it, and try and force it. We try to rush happiness, expecting that it is our right to be happy every day of our lives. We think if we buy this or do that we will be happy. We are always seeking happiness and rarely finding it.

Maybe if we stopped our frantic searching, we would realise that happiness is a quieter thing, more constant in our lives than we realise.

And at the same time we might realise that being sad or angry is not something to be feared either. I have heard it said that depression is often un-expressed anger. That makes a lot of sense to me. If we feel emotions at the time they arise, and let them run their course rather than prolonging them, then we won't feel so stuck.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


Magnusmember
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK


Posted:
I am happy.

Magnus... pay it forward


dromepixieveteran
1,463 posts
Location: Florida


Posted:
I know if Glass was here he would mention something so I am mentioning it in his behalf...

Taoism

Beautiful and simple Rozi hit it on the head!

"Maybe if we stopped our frantic searching, we would realise that happiness is a quieter thing, more constant in our lives than we realise."

Fanks!
Drome

JUGGLEwithyourmind!


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
According to eastern spirituality/esotericism,
it is the search for happiness that drives a person, in one form or another.
there are two types; fleeting and lasting.
you can attain the former with possesions, with desire, with Andrea Corr. The latter can only be achieved with peace. Lasting happiness is incompatible with petty desire (the fundamental buddhist tenet) and there is great humbling change to be had for lasting happiness to be achieved. For many people though, like the backstreet boys, fleeting happiness is the only happiness that they are prepared to work for.
Personally, my life is lived as i would have wished to have lived it as i am dying.
or something.
i need a shower now.

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


Magnusmember
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK


Posted:
.bender: for me, I'm pretty sure Andrea Corr would bring lasting happiness.

Magnus... pay it forward


Raphael96SILVER Member
old hand
899 posts
Location: New York City, USA


Posted:
I believe in happiness, though it is elusive.

Perhaps it is that quality that makes it so important and rare.

Raph

Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
dude, d'ya know that she's taking time off the corrs to pursue an acting career! ho hum.

back on-topic, I'd just ask if you don't equate your happiness to 9-5, a mortgage, cars, compact disc players and spawing a selfish fucked up brat to replace yourselves , then what precipitates happiness to you? do you think that goals are an end unto themselves even? is it even simpler?
/picks up notepad and lends ear
dissolving my negativity will take a lifetime, as George Costanza puts it so wisely,
"SERENITY NOW!"

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


GlåssDIAMOND Member
The Ministry of Manipulation
2,523 posts
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom


Posted:

KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
it's all been said so well already...

nice quote i lifted from a very inspirational persons im profile:

"Just be happy, others will follow"

awesome guy wish i could share him with you all.

peace & love to all, kyri

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


NYCNYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA


Posted:
I've been pretty dang happy lately. My life rocks right now. I took some steps to simplify it and it has worked wonders...

I try not to show it though, it is a misdomener in New York City.

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


KaliBRONZE Member
member
577 posts
Location: Berlin, Germany


Posted:
Wow, Cass once again you were able to say exactly what I was thinking. I even have the same quote from Mandela written down somewhere.

I have found that a lot of times when I was unhappy it was because I was clinging too strongly to certain ideas on the form my happiness should take and such. As soon as I see I'm doing that and let go and say I'm going to enjoy this moment now and let whatever happens happen I always find all these new surprises that make me .

I think therefore that one of the most essential things about happiness is just being open to it.

Stepping back and rediscovering the world is also really exciting. Everyday I'm overwhelmed by little things like the fact that the sky is actually blue where I live now and the grass is green and the trees can go back for miles in some places.

I also totally agree with Cass in that the mark of a true friendship is the ability to be happy with your friends. We're all predisposed to being miserable and indulging in pity and such. The real challenge of connection is how well you can look past yourself to be with that person in their moments of happiness and glory.

Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.


Paddyback from the dead...sort of
884 posts
Location: 43°41'N 79°38'W


Posted:
it seems Cass has beat us all to it. me included.

Up until maybe this January, I wouldn't have considered myself an especially happy person. I don't know what happened, then...as NYC said, I guess I just started stepping back every once in a while and appreciating the little things. I get up to watch the sunrise. I look out the window for hours on a rainy day. I watch a favorite movie or read a good book. nowadays life just seems so much richer. I always look for the best in every situation I encounter, because I've learned that if you look for it hard enough, you'll always find it.

and as I've mentioned in the music thread, these little moments can be crystallized by the perfect piece of music too. music is incredible.

I'm kind of rambling and I'm going to stop now before it gets any worse. happy = good.

LuNcHbOx...(Aka. Nathan)-un-singlemember
536 posts
Location: beneath a cloak of self-torture


Posted:
yeah.....
but i also belive in un-happiness....
such as despaire.....
The deep-dark recceses of despaire....
were you know that life as you know it has come to an end and you would love to just crawl into a
hole and die......
I actually crave that feeling......

-L.B.

-LuNcHbOx, Aka. Nathan...Give a man to fish, and that man knows where to come for more fish...Teach a man to fish and you have just destroyed your market base...


AdeSILVER Member
Are we there yet?
1,897 posts
Location: australia


Posted:
I believe in deep happiness and deep sadness as both being necessary... Sort of like the connections made in deep ecology.

RoziSILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia


Posted:
Sometimes there is a purity in sadness. Like when a person goes out of your life. If you are accepting of the situation, you can still feel sad without feeling bad as such.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


winkBRONZE Member
member
18 posts
Location: Livermore, CA, USA


Posted:
i belive that a lot of times unhappiness comes from a "need" to have more instead of a healthy desire for it. i think that happiness can also be construed as contentedness. being content doesn't mean that you don't want to keep improving. just that if you weren't able to....that would be ok also.
I also think that it is the small things in life that matter. I mean the minute things. like a wave crashing, a bird chirping, a game of hopscotch....i don't know, anything. But you need to notice the small things. because not enough good, big things happen to keep you happy all the time. but small things are all around, all the time.

DomBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK


Posted:
Really interesting reading all the replies. Thank you to all.

As bender rightly points out a lot of eastern spiritualism and theology puts forward the meaning and purpose of life as happiness, in this life.

It often seems, to me at least, that other religions such as Christianity and Islam put a lot of emphasis on achievement of an other-worldly goal, your ticket to heaven where you will be happy. And they often threaten god's wrath if you do not spend your life worshipping god in a prescribed way. In many eastern teachings the only wrath you really have to fear is your own. You are your own God. I like that, being able to say 'I am God' and know it is true.

A common core to many of these teachings is that to be happy we must learn to attain happiness by realising we're happy with what we have, not through attaining that which we want. The desire to have more money, bigger houses, faster cars, etc... is what so often causes unhappiness in ourselves and others. What we have, our friends, our health, a cool breeze on a warm day is what we should really be happy about.

Sadness is also an emotion, and in the search of happiness it'd be folly to pretend it doesn't exist. I feel sadness, loss, regret, fear, but I try not to let them become the dominant emotions within me. That way I can use the power these emotions have without wallowing in self pity too much.

Thanks again

Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
Happiness is a Kung Foo Sing!

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


_Stix_Pooh-Bah
2,419 posts
Location: la-la land


Posted:
If I search to hard for happiness I will never find it - I must first be happy with what is around me - appriciate the specialness of every one around me.. I too belive in Tao... I'm getting there.. I am happy.

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:

Non-Https Image Link

"It's the weirdest thing. I feel like I've been in a coma for about twenty years and I'm just now waking up."

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all. It stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars…and yellow leaves, from the maple trees that lined my street…or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper…and the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird…and Janie…and Carolyn.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me…but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure…But don’t worry…you will someday."
-Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey)

oh man do i love kevin spacey movies....

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


Raphael96SILVER Member
old hand
899 posts
Location: New York City, USA


Posted:
American Beauty rocks.

Magnusmember
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK


Posted:
Your life does indeed flash before your eyes before you die.

It's called living.

Magnus... pay it forward


Magnusmember
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK


Posted:
Happiness is;

seeing the world as it truly is
accepting and loving yourself
accepting the world as it is
accepting other people as they are
being connected to God, whatever that means to you

Magnus... pay it forward


SpArKiE*shiny shiny*
218 posts
Location: Townsville, QLD, Aust.


Posted:
happiness to me is not being at work to start with. then to learn new tricks and hang around ppl who enjoy and beleive and love what i do. to be surrounded by friends is pure happiness.

And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go. It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
happiness is a
bad haiku that belongs in
another forum.

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


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