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Forums > Social Discussion > Hope, Reality And Relationships (A Discussion with a Friend)

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Shu
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Shu

Retro Fyre Wizzard
Location: Pietermaritzburg (KZN), South ...

Total posts: 538
Posted:Okay so i got this friend and for some time now we've been discussing relationship issues and insecurities. Mostly relating to finding that ONE special person. This morning she starts a SMS text discussion with me, the crux of it being:

She:
Just one question... Do you loose all hope or do you remain hopefull?

Shu:
Remain hopeful...
Whithout hope is there really any point to living?

She:
But hope creates uncertainty, would you want to live the rest of you life with uncertainty?

Shu:
NO NO NO!

YOU generate uncertainty!

Hope doesn't!

She:
Hope isn't real, is it? It doesn't acknowlege the power in YOU. Even an idea is only as perfect as you can percieve it. Whilst perception = reality, we aren't fully accepting.

Reality is a little left of centre. What do you do when your ideal has flaws cos YOU didn't think of it. When do you stay and fight and when do you hightail it? So where is hope's role?

Shu:
Well do you want to close the door on life, or would you like to keep it open?

She:
Would you like to be the architect of your own destiny and MAKE things happen or would you like to blow aimlessly in the breeze, rudderless and waisting away?

Shu:
We are all architects of our own lives... the question you should be asking yourself, is weather you are happy with the current design of your life!

All things are only as real as we want them to be! The mind is a powerful force!

We all live within our own perception of reality, which requires continuous pruning and developement. We should vigilantly maintain the dynamics of "reality", and never alow it to stagnate.

A static ideal in reality would cause us to fall behind and we'd live stagnant lives.

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looks like this conversation is going to continue this evening. but what are your views on this?


Regards hug

Shu
(Ice-E FyreStorm - Group Manager & Performer)

You know those people your parentals warned you about?... I'M ONE OF THEM! ubbloco
Yes, i do bite!!

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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 197
Posted:I'm with you on that one Shu.

But are we using the term soul mate earlier in the thread in the fashion that there is only one, or many soul mates? I'm just curious to see hear other people's take on the issue. Because for me there is not one soul mate, but many soul mates. People that you have an underlying connection with, weather it be for only a brief part of your life or the whole hog.

I have yet to form an opinion on the idea that there is one ultimate soul mate, one true love.... I don't feel equipped with enough experiance or information to come to my own conclusion on that one as yet.

I remember a time a long long time ago when I used to be a loner through choice because I had issues with trust and understanding, and now I find I have more friends or soulmates than I can count.And I don't mean aquaintances, I mean really really close good friends, people who i feel a certain balance and unity with. People I trust completely, who I would give my life for, people for whom I have an unconditional love,people whom I know for a fact feel the same about me without having to prove or protest it. I like to think that these people are my soul mates. I do however get different things from these relationships, each feeds me with a different set of rules, different feelings, different consequences, but I do love these people wholeheartedly with all that I have.

So in referring to the ultimate soulmate, the perfect balance, what exactly is implied?


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Sethis
BRONZE Member since May 2005

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 1762
Posted:I'm in love for the second time (lucky me) in my 17 year long life, and I thought i'd ask people on this thread whether it's supposed to hurt this much.

I talked to her on the internet for a long time, then decided to meet up. We got along wonderfully, and our personalities just seem to mix so well.

The problem is that we live 80 miles away from each other. I know that's not too far, but for 2 students, with little or no budget, it's irritating. Her mother won't let me come and stay, and my mother gets annoyed when she comes here.

When I saw her for the first time, I came away with love bites on my neck. Now my mother thinks she's some kind of whore, and refuses to let her stay overnight.

I miss her so much sometimes I get a physical pain in my chest. I can't bear her not being here. I'm sorry for hi-jacking the thread, but it says "Relationships" at the top ubbangel

Can anyone give me some suggestions how to help the pain? Or how to see each other again?


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
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I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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Shu
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Shu

Retro Fyre Wizzard
Location: Pietermaritzburg (KZN), South ...

Total posts: 538
Posted:Written by: blu_valley

I'm with you on that one Shu.
But are we using the term soul mate earlier in the thread in the fashion that there is only one, or many soul mates? I'm just curious to see hear other people's take on the issue. Because for me there is not one soul mate, but many soul mates. People that you have an underlying connection with, weather it be for only a brief part of your life or the whole hog.
I have yet to form an opinion on the idea that there is one ultimate soul mate, one true love.... I don't feel equipped with enough experiance or information to come to my own conclusion on that one as yet.



Well i believe that everyone has multiple soul mates, as to weather there is one true love for everyone... i cannot say, i would think that there are many compatible personalities for everyone, and it's just a matter of choice... which of those do you wish to spend the reast of your life with, and/or which do you only choose to spend a small part of it with!

Written by: blu_valley

I remember a time a long long time ago when I used to be a loner through choice because I had issues with trust and understanding, and now I find I have more friends or soulmates than I can count.And I don't mean aquaintances, I mean really really close good friends, people who i feel a certain balance and unity with. People I trust completely, who I would give my life for, people for whom I have an unconditional love,people whom I know for a fact feel the same about me without having to prove or protest it. I like to think that these people are my soul mates. I do however get different things from these relationships, each feeds me with a different set of rules, different feelings, different consequences, but I do love these people wholeheartedly with all that I have.


hmmmm...
there's a saying... "if you can count your true friends on more than one hand... Re-evaluate the true meaning of friendship!

Written by: blu_valley

So in referring to the ultimate soulmate, the perfect balance, what exactly is implied?


It means something different for everyone, each person has to discover what it means for themselves. Love means something different to each of us!


Written by: Sethis

I'm in love for the second time (lucky me) in my 17 year long life, and I thought i'd ask people on this thread whether it's supposed to hurt this much.


Love hurts, who or what u love becomes a part of you. And it hurts like hell.

Written by: Sethis

I talked to her on the internet for a long time, then decided to meet up. We got along wonderfully, and our personalities just seem to mix so well.


it's not often that one finds a lasting/binding love online. You certainly are very lucky!

Most of the people we enter into relationships with, are people that are in some way already connected to us in a social environment... So we already have a certain amount of information about them, there are things that we do know for sure, there are multiple views on this person's personality and compatibility.

Online however, we tend to know absolutely nothing about potential "candidates" (for lack of a better word). There's also a nagging in the back of your mind as to weather what you do know is true or weather its a mask! Even after meeting them, there is minimal information and some people can really keep a sharade up for a long time before it gets tiresome and their true colours show!

Written by: Sethis

The problem is that we live 80 miles away from each other. I know that's not too far, but for 2 students, with little or no budget, it's irritating. Her mother won't let me come and stay, and my mother gets annoyed when she comes here.


okay... there's not much i can say Sethis, except... MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR TIMES TOGETHER! it gives you something to look forward to.

Remember also to never EXPECT anything from a relationship that the relationship cannot give you or you will place strain on it. Expectations destroy relationships. For example, you cannot seek happiness from a relationship or from another person, it/they cannot make you happy. Happiness is something that you can only find within yourself, for yourself!

Long distance is not the easiest relationship.

Written by: Sethis

When I saw her for the first time, I came away with love bites on my neck. Now my mother thinks she's some kind of whore, and refuses to let her stay overnight.


You're seventeen! What do you expect? Be a little objective here! Parents are very protective over their kids, it took me to long to actually realist the value of parents. I have a fantastic relationship with my folks now (from a dicy one up till i was about 21/22). My life is my life, but tht does not mean that the wisdom that comes with age should not be considered.

Written by: Sethis

I miss her so much sometimes I get a physical pain in my chest. I can't bear her not being here. I'm sorry for hi-jacking the thread, but it says "Relationships" at the top


The pain you get... I know what you mean... It's probably longing! "Broken hearts" are real!
This is a public forum. it's for anyone and everyone to comment/question/advise/request!

Written by: Sethis

Can anyone give me some suggestions how to help the pain? Or how to see each other again?


Hope i helped!

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So what is your view on love HoPpers?
is it real?
is it just another ideal?
are you in love or have you been in love?
does love last?
What are your experiences?


Regards hug

Shu
(Ice-E FyreStorm - Group Manager & Performer)

You know those people your parentals warned you about?... I'M ONE OF THEM! ubbloco
Yes, i do bite!!

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Sethis
BRONZE Member since May 2005

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 1762
Posted:Thank you very much Shu for all your comments, they're quite helpful.

Yeah, I do try to make the most of the time we have together, but it hurts all the more when we're apart! But having said that, we really enjoy it when we manage to see each other again.

I know that my mother is just trying to protect me etc etc etc and I am very grateful that I've got a very good relationship with my mother. We don't argue much, and she doesn't restrict me much. The problem is that she's so old fashioned (How many teenagers have said THAT about their parents throughout the centuries?) and flat out refuses to consider that I'm not her innocent little boy any more. Normally I don't mind this, but it's starting to get in the way of my relationship with this girl.

Sorry, went off into a little bit of teenage angst there wink

But it's not a broken heart when I feel it, I just miss her so much. I still love her, but I miss her when she's not here. So would you say that there are 2 types of broken hearts? The one that gets the most publicity (i.e. when you're dropped by your soul mate) and the one where you hurt inside, even though you're still in a perfectly happy relationship.

Thanks for the commments!


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Delete

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