Forums > Social Discussion > attempted suicide..

Posted: 8th Jun 2005
Its hard seeing something like that, at least you were able to help by getting the emergency services involved.

Don't think you are being selfish by thinking about how it has affected you. It can be a very disturbing thing to see someone who wants to die. I hope you have friends around you that you can talk to about it

Earler this year a woman tried to kill herself by jumping infront of my car. I had to swerve and almost crahsed avoiding her. It shook me up really badly and had a profound impact on the way that i looked at life.

Hopefully the hospital will take her more seriously now its happened twice in a day.

Posted: 8th Jun 2005
well done for doing what you could

Getting to the other side

Posted: 8th Jun 2005
big hugs to you

"I dont want no fatty bumbum, i want a lean mean shagging machine" anon

"I'm sweet and wholesome with a little bit of filth thrown in"

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Posted: 8th Jun 2005
wasn't much.. the thing is even if she did jump.. it was only second floor.. broken ankle/ leg at most.. unless of course she went head first.. sheesh.. I didn't think of that.. man it was high enough to kill her..

thank you people.. people at work jsut don't seem that bothered about it.. I guess because they didn't interact with her.. they were just watching from inside...

anyway - nearly home time.. time to move on and thank chrunchy that I and people around me are untroubled and happy..

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

Posted: 8th Jun 2005


I think you were brave, involving yourself in something like that can cause so much stress!

Try not to think about the what-if's, they didn't happen. She's probably been given the proper help now. You saved a life. (because for all we know, she may have jumped if you didn't talk to her).

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

Posted: 8th Jun 2005
Stix you are my hero!! what a tops thing to do ... you made a huge difference in someones life today... definatly for the positive!!

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

Posted: 8th Jun 2005
congratulations on doing something in that situation, even if it feels like you weren't doing the 'right' thing, you did something, and that something lead to her being out of danger, and probably getting the support she desperately needs. like you said, the other people at your work just watched, it would be just as easy for you to do that, but you took action.

don't feel like you're being selfish, it's important to recognise what impact this had on you. committing suicide is one of the most selfish acts possible, it affects everyone else, but the person themselves doesn't have to deal with any of that. but when a person is in that mindset, all they can focus on is the relief that suicide will bring.

again, congratulations. do something really nice for yourself as a reward. you really deserve it.

Posted: 8th Jun 2005
Stix, big hug to you!


That is a hard situation. It is okay for you to feel shook up, natural. I am glad she had someone there for her, and hope that she can get some ongoing help to deal with whatever the underlying issue is.

Dealing with life and death choices always makes one stop and think...
my heart goes out to you, and her,
love, Andrea

wherever you go, there you are

Posted: 8th Jun 2005
Hey, most of the time trained people don't know/ don't do the right things... the right thing is different for every person. It sounds like you made a difference to her- hopefully you get a good chance to talk about it cause thats scary, especially when its random, and you don't know the person or know what to do for them.



great job helping

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
yea, big 'ups' to u. sounds like u did everything u were able to do, and thats the main thing. its not selfish to think about how u feel about it either. suicide is one of the most selfish things someone can do, dont get me wrong, i feel for ppl who feel that this is there only way out, however wrong that may be. the people left behind are the ones that suffer, and they often suffer for a LONG time. i have had 3 friends commit suicide, and know (knew) a number of others, u get left with alot of doubts about wot u did and if there was anything more u should/could have done. sounds like u wont get left with any of that, so thats good. just try and relax and out it behind u, try and get something out of it tho. sometimes when u have coem so close to a death it really makes appreciate life and the value of each lil breath u get to take.

It took a while, but once their numbers dropped from 50 down to 8, the other dwarves started to suspect Hungry.

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
it took me a long while to get the image of her out of my head last night.. Couldn't really interact with my family very well.. sat and read outside till the sun went down.. dreams of people falling.. been up since about 6am..

the feelings of wierdness were starting to subside, untill I got to work to find ambualnce and police outside our place again.. a colleague said that he'd seen her on the other side of her house being carted off again..

I really can't believe they didn't section her for her own protection! They must have let her go again straight away. Either she's really good at faking saneness, or the NHS has failed her completely.. although I'm not sure if she would be entitled as she looked like a foreign national. This area has had a few issues with illegal aliens over staying welcomes. Shouldn't be an excuse 'not' to care for someone!

Still makes me angry now.

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
I have a lot of admiration for you , actually doing what you think is right, many people would walk on by . . . it is good to know that people like you still exist . .

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
:hugs: well done on saving a life.

So, it makes it three times now? surely there is something they can do for her... it isnt safe for her to be out, I know I worded that wrongly, but hopefully someone knows what I mean, and can word it better.

I met a girl the start of last year, and halfway through the year found out she had comitted suicide. It shook up a few of my friends so badly, even I was shaken, and I had only met her once.

Suicide is a hard thing, for everything. It hurts the family and friends of the person, and their family and friends, and so on until most of the community are affected.

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
and i think i'm having a bad day!



I've had similar situations in the past, it's really hard to get your head around what's happened, there should be a proper debriefing session but there's not. The best advice I can give, which sounds crap I know, is to pat yourself on the back for having done a life changing deed, then move on, not letting yourself become emotionally involved in the reasons behind it. Assuming you had nothing to do with the events that led upto the women choosing to do what she did, it's important for you not to let yourself become involved with/possibly feel guilty for it, cause that can be really sole destroying. You did the right thing, and she's now in the hands of people who are professional trained to deal with the situation. In the past I've been talked out of calling ambulances for people who really need it but plead not to (ie they've overdosed on illegal substances and being hospitalised could damage their career etc), but tbh it's not my problem, what is my problem is if they die and i did nothing.

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
Why did they let her go? Well. I had a friend who just stopped himself from comitting suicide, then went and asked for psychiatric help and they said they couldn't see anything wrong with him... another friend went in and out of hospitals for years because she figured out what they wanted her to say and they thought she was "cured" or whatever all the time. To me it seems like they can't keep up with the number of people that need them, so they let them go and hope they'll manage if they even care that much

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

Posted: 9th Jun 2005

Written by: Birgit

---

To me it seems like they can't keep up with the number of people that need them

---

mental health is the key area where private excells over public health care in this country, and the sole reason why I'm getting insurance when I can afford it. I've heard many stories from people who've recieved a very poor quality of care from the nhs when they need it the most.

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
my stories are from Germany; I suppose it's a general issue with mental health... and those who need it most are often in a situation where they cannot afford private insurance or private sessions in the first place

right now I'm very fed up with the Uni health service / the NHS for not being able to provide what would be considered a basic service in Germany in ANYthing I need them for with the one exception that keeps me alive, and other practices won't take me cause I'm a student (despite the fact that my PhD leaves me more money than some full-time jobs would), but I'll never be able to afford private insurance cause quotes for people with chronic illnesses are horribly high... but that's absolutely here and I'll shut up

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
private insurance in the US will do very little for mental health most of the time- my insurance specifically excludes self-inflicted injuries and attempted suicides, (although not all do) the rates of coverage are usually very low, in some cases even if it severly affects a persons life (they can't get/hold a job, handle daily chores, social life suffers, etc) unless they know exactly whats wrong they won't pay much money... had a couple of friends run afoul of this. And its only recently that they have decent coverage even when they can figure out what is wrong (and it qualifies as severe). I know the NHS in britain is having a lot of trouble as compared to most other public health systems, but know that it could be worse, too.... its a shame they arn't doing more though. but as was said, some people are very good at getting back out of systems, as well.

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
I think it was very brave of you to help, and to allow yourself to feel anything about this. Many people are so shut down that it wouldn't cause them to look inside themselves or to look at their own lives and find all the things worth living for. The sad thing about suicide too is that it seems to be contageous, as if when one person succeeds others who contemplate it feel more valid in doing so as well. You quite possibly halted a domino effect as well.

I've known of 4 people to succeed, though I was not close to any of them, and several who have tried and have seen how it affects those in our lives.

I think that your thinking of how it affects you is not selfish in the least, I think her wanting to kill herself is selfish.



Here is something that I think is appropriate and lovely:



LeCroix's Speech on Life



Life is a gift

As sweet as a ripe peach

As precious as a guilded jewel

I have never been able to understand the logic of willfully surrendering such a treasure.

And what is there to gain?

How dark can your exsistence be when compared to an eternal void?

Unless, of course, you have faith that there is something beyond

What do you see from where you stand?

A bright light at the end of the tunnel?

Is it a ray of hope, a glimmer of something better?

Or will it burn you like the rising sun?

Is that sound you are hearing the trumpeting of St. Peter's Angels

Or the screams of Memnoch's tortured souls?

You can't answer that, can you?

You will never know the answer until the deed is done.

And is your faith really that strong?

I understand the need to move on.

It happens to us all.

I also understand that with the beauty of this life comes pain and despair.

No one is immune.

But concider what you have in your hands before you give it up.

Why trade a treasure for an empty box?

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 9th Jun 2005

Written by: Kyrian

---

private insurance in the US will do very little for mental health most of the time- my insurance specifically excludes self-inflicted injuries and attempted suicides, (although not all do) the rates of coverage are usually very low, in some cases even if it severly affects a persons life (they can't get/hold a job, handle daily chores, social life suffers, etc) unless they know exactly whats wrong they won't pay much money

---

That's true but public health (social services) is actually not bad for this, but only after it is mandated by court that a person is unfit. It is why suicide it illegal in the US, so that courts can mandate a person get help and the state covers it, generally. Obviously there will always be exceptions.

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
Interesting, I didn't know that Pele... we always wondered about why it was illegal

And the poem was beautiful!

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
Yes, thanks Pele, the poem is great, and I remember having a discussion about that law with some friends just a few days ago!

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
thanks Pele.. I'm tempted to print it out and stick it to her front door.. but I won't.. It's not my place and I dont' think I could get envolved anymore..

I know I did good yesterday, but do not feel that I should be 'congratulated' at all.. I follow the light side of the force you see, it's all about everyone else.. not me.. (if you've seen the latest Star Wars, the dark side is all about 'self' - I thought it was an excellent quote.. I know many people who choose the 'dark side' of self) anyway.. there was nothing I could have done except reach out to a fellow human in distress.. I treat others as I wish to be treated.. I only did what my heart told me to. I digress..

yep I guess I got hit with life's sh*tty stick, it's made me stronger.. although this is the second time I've tried to help with someone's life.. the last time was about 10 years ago, where I had to do CPR on an old gent that had cycled up a big hill in Oxford for the last time.. died in my arms before the ambulance coudl get there.. I felt sad at the time, but he'd had a good life and loved till the day he died.. and yet I digress again. There is a difference between natural or accidental death and one that you try to bring on your self.

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

Posted: 9th Jun 2005
oh people, I know you are hurt when someone dies, or tries to die,and left all lost and confused. But please, understand two things-

One:
- if she is in fact, mentally ill, then she is not truly making a choice as we would understand it. (With free will and capacity to discern her options and evaluate the consequences). It may not be a real choice for her, selfish or otherwise. We do not know what her internal state is, or even the external situation she lives with. If she is mentally ill, then her actions are truly not something that she can be fully responsible for , in effect.( of course she can and is karmically though)

That is what I found the scaryiest aspect of dealing with mental illness: the persons reality, mental expereince, identity and capacities are not necessarily connecting into our common expereince. We keep expecting them to be able to be like a mentally healthy person, and be responsible- maybe they even function totally normally is some areas of their life, but are not able to in others. At least not always. It is terrifying for a mentally ill person to have some self awareness that this is happenning for them, but no control.

The whole idea of mental illness being mental illness is that it is a disease, not a choice.

**I agree with much of the other posters, that as a culture and a social system, we absolutely suck at caring for people with mental illness. That is a tricky issue to be sure.


Two
- the second point is maybe she is not mentally ill. Maybe she is just dealing with something that is unbearable to her on some level. Maybe life, for her,is about as far from a peach as you can get!

Perhaps she is just worn out, tired, and wants to stop. I think suicide is a perfectly valid choice, and not necessarily selfish or cruel. There are times when someone has had enough, and wants no more. Maybe they no longer care if it is going to change for the better in the future,maybe they do not beleive in the future. Whatever. It is their soul issue. They are free beings.

As friends,and fellow humans, we help these people the best we can. We offer what we think are better options, share our faith if we have it and they have lost touch with theirs. We try to demonstrate why living is worthwhile, try to offer hope, or practical support. We do these things, because of who we are and want to be, with love. Then the suicidal individual makes a choice and an action because of who they are and want to be. Or not be.


You are not responsible for their actions,and their action is about them,not you. Very, very hard to understand and accept this on a core level when it is a friend family or lover. A bit easier with a stranger.

By all means, take the opportunity to reflect on your life, fuel our will to live,and be grateful for all the wonderful things you have to live for. But please, also take a moment to understand that this is not the case for everyone, mentally ill or not. Dont judge people for their choices-- it is your choice to see their actions as selfish and cruel. Please show compassion.

If you have been hurt by someones suicide, you would do well to forgive them, and let them go gently. Death is not a bad thing, really it is not. We dont need to be afraid of it, or avoid it. It is as much a part of us as birth, a gift.

That said, it is also natural to greive a loss- I am not suggesting we dont feel it!

Stix, why your actions are important is that you cared enough to intervene,and cared enough to share the expereince along with thoughts and emotions it provoked. We all have an opportunity to grow through it . (0)


Thank you.

love Andrea

wherever you go, there you are