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Forums > Social Chat > The Official Female HoP Auction!

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Kurobei
member
Location: The Phire Kru
Member Since: 19th Aug 2002
Total posts: 786
Posted:As an active equal rights campaigner, I felt it was necessary to open a female auctioning establishment. Now members of both sexes can enjoy the freedom of an auction at ease.
If you are interested in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, please leave your details at the front desk or PM them to the Master of Ceremonies - Kurobei.

[ 24 September 2002, 23:15: Message edited by: Kurobei ]


whats up with all the limitations?


UCOF
UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:You just beat me to it....someone had to do it..


Kurobei
member
Location: The Phire Kru
Member Since: 19th Aug 2002
Total posts: 786
Posted:Well, seeing as we pretty much thought of this little venture at the same time, we'll run this joint together!!

whats up with all the limitations?


Raphael96
old hand
Location: New York City
Member Since: 8th Sep 2002
Total posts: 899
Posted:Bathe them and bring them to me!!



Raph



Kurobei
member
Location: The Phire Kru
Member Since: 19th Aug 2002
Total posts: 786
Posted:Erm.....'scuse me but you're not meant to be in here, we're not open yet.

whats up with all the limitations?


UCOF
UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:yeh..fuck off..opening time is 25:00...until then we remain closed (something about bam bam not looking correct placed on the left of DFQ and lolli)


Kurobei
member
Location: The Phire Kru
Member Since: 19th Aug 2002
Total posts: 786
Posted:Okay gentlemen, we have our first auctionee, all the way from London England, lets hear it for BamBam!!!

This energetic little bombshell has many tallents to her name, she's a true diva on the dance floor and likes to get in amongst the thick of it and she can also spin a staff with more elegance than a Kung fu master!!

Who'll start the bidding?


whats up with all the limitations?


Mark P
Mark P

old hand
Location: Bath, England
Member Since: 26th Oct 2001
Total posts: 1031
Posted:I open the bidding at 25 'z and an oz of weed

Mark



Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:Ohh, 6 jars of Nutella 3 gallons of your choice of fuel and the COL video series for the luverly BamBam

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"


UCOF
UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:erm...i suppose were open now then...ok then kurobei...i will mosy off to the back of the shop to guard the exit to make sure smallboy doesnt quickly run through and nick everyone like what happened in our sister shop


Kurobei
member
Location: The Phire Kru
Member Since: 19th Aug 2002
Total posts: 786
Posted:Yeah, sorry mate, was kind of occupied in the real world for a minute there...........

whats up with all the limitations?


UCOF
UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:good thing it was only for a minute....back with us now are you?


tennis
confused and abused
Location: bristol
Member Since: 26th Jun 2002
Total posts: 363
Posted:i offer nothing except my kindness.

x Tennis x


My cat's breath smells like catfood


Kurobei
member
Location: The Phire Kru
Member Since: 19th Aug 2002
Total posts: 786
Posted:Erm............we need something..............

whats up with all the limitations?


BamBam
BamBam

Pooh-Bah
Location: London
Member Since: 1st Dec 2001
Total posts: 1810
Posted:kindness works for me, there's not enough o it in this world

Would it help the cause if I told the buyers I'm a 6ft blonde with blue eyes and big whams ???


A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only kind of kiss is a kiss tasted.

I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating and not just a LITTLE bit scary.


Havoc
Havoc
Location: London
Member Since: 10th Sep 2002
Total posts: 168
Posted:Works for me!

*attempts to grab bam bam and leave via the back door*

*is briskly apprehended by a very stern looking UCOF*

k, guess i'll have to bid then!

ummm....
well if the lady asks nicely, i usually give them whatever they want, but i guess thats against the rules!
hmmm....


you have to let it all go... Fear, doubt and disbelief... Free your mind!

Times like these people wanna get High...
Real High and Real Fast...
This is gonna do it!!


BamBam
BamBam

Pooh-Bah
Location: London
Member Since: 1st Dec 2001
Total posts: 1810
Posted:Please can we change the rules??

*Looks around cos b/f might be watching*


A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only kind of kiss is a kiss tasted.

I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating and not just a LITTLE bit scary.


Havoc
Havoc
Location: London
Member Since: 10th Sep 2002
Total posts: 168
Posted:lol! i'm only joking! there was no offence meant, especially no if bam bam's b/f is a 7ft rugby player or something!!

Sorry!


you have to let it all go... Fear, doubt and disbelief... Free your mind!

Times like these people wanna get High...
Real High and Real Fast...
This is gonna do it!!


Knoxious
.

Member Since: 25th Feb 2002
Total posts: 420
Posted:Oh crap...I was going to offer my girlfriend for auction but she's beaten me to it.....
I want 15 camels for her though!
(Bambam....no arguments!)



BamBam
BamBam

Pooh-Bah
Location: London
Member Since: 1st Dec 2001
Total posts: 1810
Posted:can I keep one of the camels for me please

A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only kind of kiss is a kiss tasted.

I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating and not just a LITTLE bit scary.


SmokyDavy
Do my poi look too small in this?
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Member Since: 17th Jan 2002
Total posts: 394
Posted:I'll bid 5 jars of nutella, 12 grams of cocaine, 5 brown llamas, a million hugs, a thousand kisses, 2 earplugs and 10 two-humped camels.

Normally I wouldn't give up the camels, but I know this british beauty is well worth all the camels in the world!

btw, I heard a bunch of lovely stories about you guys from Kali. Made me smile to hear about all the fun you guys had.

be back soon, I promise.



Bram....
member
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
Member Since: 17th May 2002
Total posts: 1551
Posted:20 pounds of nutella, 300 camels, a chunk of land in Sth. America & some cheese for Flash Fire!!!

You. Its whats for dinner!

As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.

The wave crashing on the beach


Kali
member
Location: Berlin, Germany
Member Since: 29th Apr 2002
Total posts: 577
Posted:I'll give you 400 camels and make that the best damn carton of cigarettes I ever bought!

Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.


FireMikeZ
FireMikeZ

Laguna dude
Location: Laguna, California, US
Member Since: 24th Jul 2002
Total posts: 1438
Posted:Bam Bam,

i come from an old auctioneering family, we've put everything under the block, from fancy antiques in a nasal voice, to tobacco sold in a superfast dare-you-to-catch -even-one-syllable singsong, fresher in da nose than Kali's overdeveloped commercial nation-post distribution crap, to spare factory parts and household chattles in mixed lots. . . i've been auctioneer's assistant, mic'd as merchandise presenter, head sales clerk. . .

SORRY, BABE, ya can't ask for a change of rules once the bidding's started. not allowed. uh-uh. get ya contracts right beforehand, caveat emptor, caveat seller, caveat you juicy piece of merch, you, just wiggle some more so the bidding goes through the roof is how you'll get a bigger cut. same for a dude, this is NOT sexist, after all, as Kurobei knows.

. . . and I know something else from experience. you're SUCH a tasty morsel, even Kali wants you for herself, but like the bridal cows we sold in Mashonaland, you got milk then milk and maybe babies tomorrow. . .

so i need, Kurobei, or auctionhouse speaker, to know what the rest of the terms are already. we are buying WHAT about Bam, and for how long, and what is she bound by the contract to do when purchased? coz as a renewable resource as long's we feed, groom, ego-stroke & maybe even love her enough, she's pleasure not just for the first purchaser, but potentially for RESALE, maybe even at a second profit, and my bid will depend on da downstream terms, what are we getting, Sir of this House?

~ bidder card #08

[ 25 September 2002, 09:40: Message edited by: FireMike ]


molten cheers,

~ FireMike

FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US


Flynt
Flynt

Intrepid Penguin

Member Since: 12th May 2002
Total posts: 5635
Posted:wanders in

so whats the verdict. sold anyone yet??? `


Currently on the right side up of the world.


flash fire
flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 25th Jan 2001
Total posts: 2758
Posted:Bram - I'm lactose intolerant - can we swap the cheese for something else?!

Tell me, does this land in south america contain much harvestable land? There's a few crops I'd like planted, namely a giant field of poppies, some coca and a nice lil cash crop just to keep my friends content...



HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.


Pele
Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:Can I sell myself or does someone have to put me up for bid?
Will this mean a nice vacation for me, or will someone come here to fetch me?

Can I bid a few kegs of spiced rum and a really nice emu for Flash Fire?


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK


Flynt
Flynt

Intrepid Penguin

Member Since: 12th May 2002
Total posts: 5635
Posted:raises her hand shyly

you can auction me off too, Kurobei.....

Pele, i think Kurobei is running this auction, best ask him for details...

EDIT: originally said "you can auction me off to Kurobei"... thought i had better put some punctuation in there, even tho Kurobei is such a spunk.... `

[ 25 September 2002, 13:42: Message edited by: Flynt ]


Currently on the right side up of the world.


Bendy
member
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia
Member Since: 29th Aug 2001
Total posts: 750
Posted:We need a summary:

BamBam:
Official nomination:
This energetic little bombshell has many talents to her name, she's a true diva on the dance floor and likes to get in amongst the thick of it and she can also spin a staff with more elegance than a Kung fu master!!

Also a self professed 6ft blue-eyed blonde with big whams!

Bidding history:Mark P - 25 hugs 1oz weedRay - 6 jars of Nutella 3 gallons of your choice of fuel and the COL video seriestennis - kindness(15 Camel reserve price set by "owner" - Knoxious)FieryFlow - 5 jars of nutella, 12 grams of cocaine, 5 brown llamas, a million hugs, a thousand kisses, 2 earplugs and 10 two-humped camels.Kali - 400 camels (cigarettes)

FlashFire:
No formal nomination.

Pre-emptive bid history:Bram - 20 pounds of nutella, 300 camels, a chunk of land in Sth. America & some cheesePele - a few kegs of spiced rum and a really nice emu

Flynt:
Formal nomination:
Shy.

Opening bid:Bendy - a wet elbow and a hammock.

[ 25 September 2002, 13:57: Message edited by: Bendy ]


Courage is the man who can stop after only one peanut


pozee
old hand
Location: san diego
Member Since: 27th Jul 2001
Total posts: 886
Posted:damn and all i have are these titanium double crosses for flash... well im out...

anyone got a light?


flash fire
flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 25th Jan 2001
Total posts: 2758
Posted:nooooo - those crosses look great! Before you pull out just hang on! Flex those pecs a bit, then I'll decide...

god this is ridiculous!


HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.


Page: 123...52

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