Forums > Social Chat > 75 fun ways to order a pizza

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Location: Manchester

Total posts: 5
Posted:This is what bordem leads to...have fun

1. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. When they repeat your order, say Again, with a little more OOMPH this time.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, Remember, we never had this conversation.

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and youre going with the lowest bidder.

7. When they ask for your phone # give them theirs and see if they notice.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

10. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallicas Master of Puppets CD.

11. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

12. Stutter on the letter p.

13. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say crazy bread.

15. Change your accent every three seconds.

16. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Say Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say Well, so is this! Youve got some explaining to do! See how they respond.

21. Tell the order taker youre depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Imitate the order takers voice.

23. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say Bed-Wetters Camp, right?

26. Put the accent on the last syllable of pepperoni. Use the long i sound.

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say OK. Thatll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window.

28. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

29. Say its your anniversary and youd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

30. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

31. Ask to see a menu.

32. Have your pizza shaken, not stirred.

33. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

35. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.

36. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

37. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say Where was I? Who are you?

38. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

39. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

40. Order two toppings, then say, No, theyll start fighting.

41. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didnt mean it.

42. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, I shall not be swayed by your sweet words.

43. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

44. Try to talk while drinking something.

45. Start the conversation with My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!

46. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

47. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

48. Be vague in your order.

49. Use CB lingo where applicable.

50. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

51. After ordering, say I wonder what THIS button on the phone does. Simulate a cutoff.

52. Start the conversation by reciting todays date and saying, This may be my last entry.

53. State your order and say thats as far as this relationship is going to get.

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Ask if theyre familiar with the term spanking a pizza. Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

56. Say Kssssssssssssssht rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

57. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

58. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

59. Put them on hold.

60. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

61. Mumble, Theres a bomb under your seat. When asked to repeat that, say I said sauce smothered with meat.

62. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say No mushrooms, please. Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

63. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say You just dont get it, do you?

64. When youve given the price, say Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math.

65. Haggle.

66. Order a one-inch pizza.

67. Order term life insurance.

68. When they say Will that be all?, snicker and say Well find out, wont we?

69. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

70. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

71. Dance all around the word pizza. Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say Please dont mention that word.

72. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell OW! when a bullet is fired.

73. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

74. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

75. Order a steamed pizza.


Reality bites with variety sized teeth! hehe...Love u Boggeye!

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BRONZE Member since Jan 2005


Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 663
Posted:76. just go to buy the slice... tis round the corner


BRONZE Member since Oct 2004


Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw, USA

Total posts: 566
Posted:I have done a whole lot of those...he he he ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.


BRONZE Member since May 2005

Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne, United Ki...

Total posts: 21
Posted:Ive one got a pizza deliverd to my mates pub, wouldnt be that funny if the pizza place wasnt the building directly on teh side of teh pub lol, the guy even tried to charge a delivery fee!!!!!

Another good one though it dont always work is to order some really random pizzas and when the guy arrives caim you didnt order em but coul go for a pizza then when he tels you what he has you can haggle n get em down to 1/4 the price wink
Have had a mate do that and it worked, but we dont make a habbit of it as its not fair on the poor pizza guys (plus they'll work it out if we do it al the time lol)




Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Thanks a bunch! I printed out a copy of that and gave it to some of my students who were done taking a test while the others finished up.

We all thought it was hilarious.

Though I'd hate to work at a pizza shop in this town this weekend. wink

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


BRONZE Member since May 2005


Location: York University, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 1762
Posted:Oh the hysterics.

This is the first time I have fallen off my chair laughing. Seriously.

I am also going to print these off and wreak havoc...

Nice one K6 beerchug

After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.


SILVER Member since Dec 2004


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA

Total posts: 3533
Posted:I like that Calvin and Hobbes strip where the phone is ringing and Calvin picks up the phone and says "yes, I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza. Oh, you must have gotten the wrong number then."

I tried it once, it was hillarious.


"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"


Fire Taiger

Fire Taiger


Total posts: 105
Posted:ask them if they would like to go on a date at the (pizza place)

The quest for Poi perfection may bring much enlightenment...
and burns


Adya Miriyana
GOLD Member since Feb 2005

Adya Miriyana

Location: Adelaide, Australia

Total posts: 6554
Posted:ubblol i'm glad i never worked at a pizza place



Location: Tas, Aus

Total posts: 97
Posted:i haven't read something that funny in a loooooooong time, and now everyone in the computer room at my school is staring at me as if i am mad because i have been laughing loudly for the last 10 mins

The Salmon moose!




fairy of light
Location: Bergen, Norway

Total posts: 163
Posted:i work at a pizza place help this thread reminds me of earlier today ubblol a woman came in, ordered number 15 loud and clear, but when the pizza was ready she starts to complain about ordering number 9 and getting "some jalapeo stuff," and we had to give her 50% off.. tongue

Luke sum ipse patrem te.


SILVER Member since Jan 2004


Location: VIC, MELB, Australia

Total posts: 435
Posted:ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol

I worked at a pizza place for little while - but it was as driver so i didnt get to really answer the phone - i think any of these lines would of cracked me up ubblol

*In the car while Pink is playing on the radio*
Tristan aged 4 : "Mum is this Pink?"
Flame:"Yes mate this is Pink?"
Tristan:"Are you going to Pink?"
Flame:"Yes i am"
Tristan:"Cool well I'm going to BLUE" smile


Mr Majestik
SILVER Member since Mar 2004

Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear,...

Total posts: 4693
Posted:at the starwars premiere don here, somebody at the front of the line ordered a pizza

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


SILVER Member since Sep 2003


old hand
Location: Adelaide, Australia

Total posts: 845
Posted:ubblol They're reallly funny

Slicing the Loaf as we speak.

I need it..... Trust me!


Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:my friend answered the door to the pizza delivery person butt-naked...and the pizza person was a girl...poor thing!

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...



Location: west coast

Total posts: 99
Posted:oh my god, i am laughing so hard... thanks!

wherever you go, there you are


BRONZE Member since Apr 2005


Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8738
Posted:My local pizza don't play fair, I ring up and they tell me who I am, where I live and what I'm ordering....The annoying thing is that they are ALWAYS right, even when I have people round and am changing my regular order,
I think they employ the little people to spy oon me ubbloco
either that or they're psycic! And that's too scary
bounce peace

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


SILVER Member since Oct 2003


.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas, Australia

Total posts: 3776
Posted:yeah pizza hut has that annoying thing where dougie answers the phone & tells you your phone number...takes all the fun away!! tongue

and i could try some of these at my local pizza place (where i had dinner tonight!! yumm!) but i may never get pizza again! eek there's only one pizza place here!! ubblol

next time i'm at a friends place though...


do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!


SILVER Member since Sep 2010


Location: USA

Total posts: 68
Posted:I read these outloud and it took me a half an hour. I read the thickest Harry Potter book in less than 3 days. The moral of the story is a simple one page list made me laugh so hard i cried and i had to reread some because my eyes were blurred from the tears. Also, there were loooong breaks because i was either laughing so hard or i ran out of breath from laughing. Dude, you rock and these are awesome

It's like when you can't remember something you get.... short term.... kidney failure, that's gotta be it, something wrong with your kidneys...
Love Peace Chicken Grease, Live Laugh Love


GOLD Member since Oct 2009


All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
Location: Trenton, MI, USA

Total posts: 2280
Posted:Super necro bump. This is like the best list I have ever laid eyes on.

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my Poi up your ass grin




old hand
Location: London

Total posts: 965
Posted:Old thread is Old, but still funny grin

Q:"How many Jugglers Does it take to change a light bulb?"
A:"One, but another 99 others saying,'I could do that if I only practised more'" biggrin biggrin

Gate Keeper to Shocked_Prawn. None may pass.


GOLD Member since Nov 2010


Location: St. Louis , USA

Total posts: 49
Posted:I work in a pizza place... frown


GOLD Member since Oct 2009


All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
Location: Trenton, MI, USA

Total posts: 2280
Posted:Yeah but wouldn't stuff like this make you day a a pizza laborer just that much better? grin

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my Poi up your ass grin


SILVER Member since May 2007


Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, USA

Total posts: 3597


Owned by Mynci!


GOLD Member since Nov 2010


Location: St. Louis , USA

Total posts: 49
Posted:I suppose but I went from the store in middle-upper suburbia to lower-middle white trash city.. People literally call and ask for directions to the store which happens to be on the main road, hell the only road.. I suppose all good nature fun would make my life a little less dull but I am pretty spontaneous so life is always less dull.


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