Forums > Social Chat > The Official Female HoP Auction!

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Kurobeimember
786 posts
Location: The Phire Kru


Posted:
As an active equal rights campaigner, I felt it was necessary to open a female auctioning establishment. Now members of both sexes can enjoy the freedom of an auction at ease.
If you are interested in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, please leave your details at the front desk or PM them to the Master of Ceremonies - Kurobei.

[ 24 September 2002, 23:15: Message edited by: Kurobei ]

whats up with all the limitations?


SebPenguin of Mass Destruction and Tricky Bugger to the court of Claire the Askew
643 posts
Location: Check behind you.


Posted:
I bid a herd of emoticons (graemlins to you natives) and something that tastes just like fanta but dosen't involve the dubiosity I've heard of connected with Coca Cola. I'll add to the bid when I'm not about to go out and get a lightbulb.
Come to that I also bid your choice of either a plain lightbulb, an orange one with plastic spikes on or a blacklight one that dosen't do much in the blacklight spectrum but does get very hot very quickly.

Chucks nuns
Property of mynci and blu_valley, and proud of it.


HeadSwimGOLD Member
...curiously lost
580 posts
Location: at my PC....obviously!, United Kingdom


Posted:
For miss bchickpea I bid the following :-

A waterbed filled with Orange fanta (and a promise not to spill your Fanta secret wink)
A spoon called Edgar
A guarantee that I will from the day of purchase onward let you win all "zen" fights
The safe return of your whips AND chains wink
Those incriminating photo's I have of the last time you stayed over
and
The return of your ginger hair from my hat wink

What do you say? biggrin

Nothing is easy.......until you can do it! biggrin


ChickpeaSILVER Member
mostly a muppet in need of distraction...
305 posts
Location: bristol, Australia


Posted:
headswim - u win.
i was gonna be stubborn and refuse your bid whatever it was...but it made me laugh more than the others!
even though you have the unfair advantage of knowing me -but the oppurtunity to kick your ass with every zen fight has won me over im afraid.
B x

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.


HeadSwimGOLD Member
...curiously lost
580 posts
Location: at my PC....obviously!, United Kingdom


Posted:
w00t w00t!!! I win a ginger!!! biggrin hug to the losers - sorry guys but she's my Fanta freak! wink

Nothing is easy.......until you can do it! biggrin


Hanzveteran
1,328 posts
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia


Posted:
so, how hard is it to be bidded on? just chuck our names in here? or do we have to say what we have to offer, or what???

Fine_Rabid_DogInternet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...


Posted:
Hanz,

Just say "I'm up for bid"

Give a description (Whatever you feel like: Teeth seems to be important though shrug ) and then watch these maniacs fight to the death to win you

biggrin

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."


[noodles]*Property of Pigeon Wigeon*
893 posts
Location: Locked In Pigeons Chimney


Posted:
Or if your lucky someone will buy you on the black market before you get chance to auction yourself off...

Could somebody stop the room please... I'd like to get off


HeadSwimGOLD Member
...curiously lost
580 posts
Location: at my PC....obviously!, United Kingdom


Posted:
But remember in this auction thread you have to be female! wink

Nothing is easy.......until you can do it! biggrin


SebPenguin of Mass Destruction and Tricky Bugger to the court of Claire the Askew
643 posts
Location: Check behind you.


Posted:
So if you've nadgers, off with em! tongue

Chucks nuns
Property of mynci and blu_valley, and proud of it.


Hanzveteran
1,328 posts
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia


Posted:
I'm a chick, and I'm up for bid.
description... Im a chick, often mistaken for a male online (sometimes offline too), I can't spin, I like biting, and I'm friendly, unless I havent been fed... thats when the biting happens.
umm, what else do you want to know?

blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
For Hanz, on behalf of the BMVC I bid

1x self packing/unpacking 100000 man marquee tent
6x 3 leeged puple chairs
1x 2 legged purple chairs
a really really big mirror
1 set of black wings
1 set of pink wings
1 set of blue wings
freedom from judgement
the great pyramid in Giza.
1/3 of the hanging gardens of babylon
green ink
mangos
a smoothie maker (self-cleaning)
a long black dress
a lifetime supply of wigs
18 housetrained monkeys
a brand new oven
a cruise ship, fully staffed
and an island of your choice in the south pacific

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
(am I one of the houstrained monkeys blu???)

I up the BMVC bid to include:

Advance booking to the next collusion beach party (wink wink blu? snigger ...nuff said)
industrial anti burn spray
A sweet but extremely stupid owner, of whom you can take advantage of (me not blu)
A life time supply of cocktails
The reknown jellycopter
a cape of invisibilty
indepth life time soul protection
a vibrating tounge stud (yes really i just got one!!)
A full bullet wink
the worlds biggest hug
the phone number of my mate brian in manly (sp.) australia so you can confirm I own all these things (beware he's english)

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: Mynci


(am I one of the houstrained monkeys blu???)






ubblol
Dude, I didnt know you were houstrained!

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
Cheeky.... I'm tree trained. tongue

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


Hanzveteran
1,328 posts
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia


Posted:
so, in the end, who decides if Im bought? do I decide? and who gets all this stuff? lol

LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
ooh ooh who wants me? Cost price! I wash, clean, cook (not well but know how 2 order fast food) and iron! biggrin
BARGIN!!!

MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
I offer for LilMiss on behalf of BMVC:

much kindness
many hug's
comedy value beyond belief
a lorry load of jelly babies (full taste no calories)
muchos fire
soul protection
your religion as stated in mental illness thread
the secret of immortality (no growing old crap)
and many peaches

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
awwwww bless! ubbtickled

MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
would have been rude but we're both spoken for. wink ubblol
so wanted to remain polite.

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Yes Hanz, you choose who wins you. You just accept someones bid and you belong to them.

I up Mynci's bid on behalf of the BMVC for the lilmiss to include:

A mango
16 wishes
a palace on a cloud
a tall ship and a star to steer her by
the ability to control the weather
3 correct answers to three burning questions you have about life/death and love
a really big sun hat
and uh,a notebook with a picture of a dragon on it

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
cool I'd love a palace on a cloud! (Seeing thats where my head is moast of the time)

MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
go on LilMiss.. you know you want to be ours *flutters eyelashes in a decidedly camp way*

you can even have, as well:

a magic stick (grow/shrinks on command)
a plethora of pleths
the 20 make-up catalogues on my desk (I AM straight)
my pink highlighter (digs himself deeper)
a photo of my female hamster (kevin - she has gender issues)
2 rubber grippy finger thingies
and an indestrucible bubble of varying hues....

Hanz
I up bid to include
a komodo dragon
a smurf umbrella
much cous cous
a smellyphant
and noodles

come on ladies... wink we're lovelly

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: Mynci


a magic stick (grow/shrinks on command)




OHH (Dirty thoughts)spank
I'm starting to like the way that sounds

MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
this is said magic stick (held by me...honest)
and your rude. spank wink

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


NoddyToe Poking Bad Boy
2,865 posts
Location: Lake District UK


Posted:
*starts lurking for HoP females*

Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!


Posted:
hello im rita queen of cheese and i am putting myself up auction

jinvincibleGOLD Member
king of the hedgehogs
125 posts
Location: Madtown, USA


Posted:
I'll up the bid for LilMissSmartyPants by:

a small plastic statuette of the Wookie Hole Witch
Red Dwarf dvd box set
a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore
a crate of bendy straws
2 lego pieces (a flat 2x4 and one of those wedges)
3 boxes each: Count Chocula, Frankenberry and Booberry
1 very old box of Yummy Mummy
the secret recipe for an everlasting gobstopper
The EXPURGATED version of "Olsen's Standard Book of British Birds"
a very, very, very long hand-knit scarf
7 super high bounce balls
poached eggs with smoked haddock
AND
I'll do all the washing up.

Yellow and blue make green.


yoniGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,099 posts
Location: Bideford and Bath, United Kingdom


Posted:
i bid on rita:
lots and lots of hugs and kisses
1 of my socks
a selection of sporks
a dishtowell named bob
a tigers spots
a leopards stripes
and some stuff that shouldn't be mentioned on a family board

also if she is still up for auction i bid for miss smarty pants:

1 thumb
lots of uber hugs
an invite to my palace on my floating island in the sky
1 cottage aboard my floating island
and the other sock to go with rita's

UCOF "evolution: Poi -> stick -> hoops -> devil stick -> juggling club -> juggling ball -> crayons."

Supergroovalsticprosifunkstication
In other words, it's the thumps bump


VampyricAcidSILVER Member
veteran
1,286 posts
Location: My House, United Kingdom


Posted:
OOOOH my bid for LMSP

a fried breakfast made by my mate (i cant really do them but he can so ill get him to make you one)

an assortment of spoons you can name yourself

food for aforementioned spoons

a spork so the spoons can mate

6 1/2 ounces of smiles

hugs every day whenever you want

a mention in my book if i ever get one written and published (its goin slow atm)

all the other stuff that has been bid

a delightful sunlife pen that i use to write with when im not at my computer

a free trip to peterborough so you can partake in the delight of my work *

and the joy of being in the conglomerate im owned by

a vat of jelly

a vat of ice cream to go with the jelly

babysitting service when ever needed

and a bus with no wheels













*only available for tomorrow

Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
again I bid for:

LilMiss

A pink Catamaran
2 Little knobbly rubber things on my desk
A sunny wedding day
(1st hand ownership of the BMVC see vampiric acids bid)
a caboodle of noodles
invitation to a massive party this weekend
a time machine (complete with owners manual only 74 years on the clock)
and a cuddly toy

for Rita queen of cheese I bid on behalf of BMVC:

A giant round of emmantal
much rochford
a herd of milka cows (they're violet biggrin)
a majestic view
a giant pink fluffy pen
a bouncy castle
2 dodgems
a cat called worzel
and france

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


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