Forums > Social Discussion > Losing a friend
Login/Join to ParticipateGOLD Member
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
Posted:
Today has been an awful Friday the 13th. Two weeks ago my friend went missing during a concert. I looked for him for over two hours that night instead of watching the show. He was really intoxicated and I was told by some one i knew to go watch him cause he didn't want to babysit him and that he was out on the picnic table. I went outside and started looking and asking people if they have seen him. After searching for a while I saw a cop car with lights on talking to someone and put someone in the car and I figured they were taking my friend frank to the drunk tank to sober up. But the cops never took him and we have been searching for him for the past two weeks. I guess people who saw him that that night said he was really upset. Well today they founjd his body in the river that runs next to the venue where the concert was at. The cops think it was suicide but it doesn't make sense. He was a recovering heroin addict and he was doing so well. He was working full time never missing anytime, he was just given a nice camping trailer which he was going to live in for the summer so he could be out in the woods. That day he even brought over a pair of poi he made (they were black socks with a multi colored polka dot covering for the heads and thankfully I still have them) because he just started learning the week before. He was really excited about it to after seeing me spin fire. Anyway we had hope maybe he took off since he's left and gone hitchhiking across country before but he always told someone where he was going before and he always brought pictures of his lil brother and sister if he was gonna go traveling and he didn't. He was one of the kindest and friendliest people I've ever met. I found out after he went missing that he stuck up for me countless time when people were talking about me behind my back and his mother told me he considered me one of his true friends. If only I knew this before I could have told him how much it meant to have him as a friend. Sorry for rambling but I'm still a little spaced from all this. I just thought I would post this seeming how he recently joined our ranks as a fellow spinner. What a terrible Friday the 13th besides this within and hour of me there has been 3 shootings a row fire and a second body of a girl found in a cess pool. For me Friday the 13th is always going to be an evil day.
R.I.P Frank Dimattia Jr.
Today has been an awful Friday the 13th. Two weeks ago my friend went missing during a concert. I looked for him for over two hours that night instead of watching the show. He was really intoxicated and I was told by some one i knew to go watch him cause he didn't want to babysit him and that he was out on the picnic table. I went outside and started looking and asking people if they have seen him. After searching for a while I saw a cop car with lights on talking to someone and put someone in the car and I figured they were taking my friend frank to the drunk tank to sober up. But the cops never took him and we have been searching for him for the past two weeks. I guess people who saw him that that night said he was really upset. Well today they founjd his body in the river that runs next to the venue where the concert was at. The cops think it was suicide but it doesn't make sense. He was a recovering heroin addict and he was doing so well. He was working full time never missing anytime, he was just given a nice camping trailer which he was going to live in for the summer so he could be out in the woods. That day he even brought over a pair of poi he made (they were black socks with a multi colored polka dot covering for the heads and thankfully I still have them) because he just started learning the week before. He was really excited about it to after seeing me spin fire. Anyway we had hope maybe he took off since he's left and gone hitchhiking across country before but he always told someone where he was going before and he always brought pictures of his lil brother and sister if he was gonna go traveling and he didn't. He was one of the kindest and friendliest people I've ever met. I found out after he went missing that he stuck up for me countless time when people were talking about me behind my back and his mother told me he considered me one of his true friends. If only I knew this before I could have told him how much it meant to have him as a friend. Sorry for rambling but I'm still a little spaced from all this. I just thought I would post this seeming how he recently joined our ranks as a fellow spinner. What a terrible Friday the 13th besides this within and hour of me there has been 3 shootings a row fire and a second body of a girl found in a cess pool. For me Friday the 13th is always going to be an evil day.
R.I.P Frank Dimattia Jr.
Peace, Love, Circles
SILVER Member
.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
3,777 posts
Location: brizvegas, Australia
.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
3,777 posts
Location: brizvegas, Australia
Posted:
do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!
if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!
smile! :grin: it confuses people!
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Posted:
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
Hop's Kitten Jester.
1,803 posts
Location: Wonderland igloo, Vic, Australia
1,803 posts
Location: Wonderland igloo, Vic, Australia
Posted:
x 10000000000
Theres not alot i can say that will help.
So i'll just say that my thoughts are with you, i'm sorry this happened, and sometimes bad things happen to good people.
At least your friend was moving on before he left. It could have been much worse if he had died of an overdose. Quitting heroin and finding new interests may just ahve made him that little bit happier. Perhaps it wasnt suicide, have you lexplained all of this to the police? Maybe they'll look for a better answer.
I hope you'll be alright
x 10000000000Theres not alot i can say that will help.
So i'll just say that my thoughts are with you, i'm sorry this happened, and sometimes bad things happen to good people.
At least your friend was moving on before he left. It could have been much worse if he had died of an overdose. Quitting heroin and finding new interests may just ahve made him that little bit happier. Perhaps it wasnt suicide, have you lexplained all of this to the police? Maybe they'll look for a better answer.
I hope you'll be alright
.:Pink Exocutioner:.
I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct...
Loving you from the deepest part of my loins.
SILVER Member
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Posted:
Oh how horrible. I'm sorry.
I don't have any good advice because I haven't yet lost anyone close to me.
Just know that we're all hear to support you.
My thoughts are with you, buddy.
EDITED_BY: roarfire (1116069899)
Oh how horrible. I'm sorry.
I don't have any good advice because I haven't yet lost anyone close to me.
Just know that we're all hear to support you.
My thoughts are with you, buddy.
EDITED_BY: roarfire (1116069899)
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
BRONZE Member
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)
Posted:
Am sorry to hear that.
You will be very upset for a while... but stay strong and cherish his memory.
All the best
Am sorry to hear that.
You will be very upset for a while... but stay strong and cherish his memory.
All the best
Getting to the other side 
Its a bum with an afro...
223 posts
Location: Newcastle NSW
223 posts
Location: Newcastle NSW
Posted:
man thats heavy........*wipes tears away*
suicide is so awful, ive had friends try it....not good at all....
dont know what to say......just stay strong...
man thats heavy........*wipes tears away*suicide is so awful, ive had friends try it....not good at all....
dont know what to say......just stay strong...
Racism is a weapon of mass destruction
SILVER Member
addict
435 posts
Location: VIC, MELB, Australia
addict
435 posts
Location: VIC, MELB, Australia
Posted:
im so sorry to hear that.
:hug
im so sorry to hear that.
:hug *In the car while Pink is playing on the radio*
Tristan aged 4 : "Mum is this Pink?"
Flame:"Yes mate this is Pink?"
Tristan:"Are you going to Pink?"
Flame:"Yes i am"
Tristan:"Cool well I'm going to BLUE"
Internet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
Posted:
I agree with what sakura said, at least he went climbing upwards...
I agree with what sakura said, at least he went climbing upwards...
The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,785 posts
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,785 posts
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom
Posted:
I lost a friend to suicide three years ago and it was hard to deal with. No-one had any idea how he had been feeling so it was quite a shock. It definately a difficult thing to get your head round.
I hope you are ok and you have friends and family around you to support you
my thoughts are with you
I lost a friend to suicide three years ago and it was hard to deal with. No-one had any idea how he had been feeling so it was quite a shock. It definately a difficult thing to get your head round.
I hope you are ok and you have friends and family around you to support you
my thoughts are with you
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,533 posts
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,533 posts
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA
Posted:
Words fail me.
Words fail me.
-James
"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"
SILVER Member
Running hippy spinning lemming
15 posts
Location: Scotland
Running hippy spinning lemming
15 posts
Location: Scotland
Posted:
thinking of you...
xxx
thinking of you...
xxx
Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...
GOLD Member
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
Posted:
Thank you everyone. This all means alot to me. Tonight some of his close friends got together and we made a big dinner. I gave a toast and then we told stories and shared memories. After a while we went and spun fire in the rain for an hor or two. Even though I never rally wanted a tattoo because I only really like them if people have a reason for them, I think I might want to get the little green dude on the cover of the Ultimate Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy tattooed somewhere. I would change it a little and have him with his thumb sticking out. Frank and I talked about getting this sometime and I think I might eventually have it done. I need to think of a place where it's out of the way. I was thinking about the bottom or top of my foot but those seem painful and if it was on the bottom I think it would get distorted and fade very quickl;y. Anyone with tattooing experience know anything about this? Once again thanks everyone and lots of love.
Thank you everyone. This all means alot to me. Tonight some of his close friends got together and we made a big dinner. I gave a toast and then we told stories and shared memories. After a while we went and spun fire in the rain for an hor or two. Even though I never rally wanted a tattoo because I only really like them if people have a reason for them, I think I might want to get the little green dude on the cover of the Ultimate Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy tattooed somewhere. I would change it a little and have him with his thumb sticking out. Frank and I talked about getting this sometime and I think I might eventually have it done. I need to think of a place where it's out of the way. I was thinking about the bottom or top of my foot but those seem painful and if it was on the bottom I think it would get distorted and fade very quickl;y. Anyone with tattooing experience know anything about this? Once again thanks everyone and lots of love.
Peace, Love, Circles
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
You're right, feet are not a good place for tattoos.
New tattoos need looking after, they're generally covered up for a few hours after going on, then you need to keep them away from baths/showers for a few weeks.
On the feet they're exposed to a lot of stress from sweat etc.
Having said that, I've got pure black ink tattoos on my feet that were put in using a 'hand set-up' (ie not with an electric gun), and the ones on the side of my feet have stayed OK-ish (faded slightly)- the ones on the sole have faded badly.
You're right, feet are not a good place for tattoos.
New tattoos need looking after, they're generally covered up for a few hours after going on, then you need to keep them away from baths/showers for a few weeks.
On the feet they're exposed to a lot of stress from sweat etc.
Having said that, I've got pure black ink tattoos on my feet that were put in using a 'hand set-up' (ie not with an electric gun), and the ones on the side of my feet have stayed OK-ish (faded slightly)- the ones on the sole have faded badly.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
SILVER Member
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...
Posted:
I am sorry for your loss.
My ex got his first tattoo on the top of his thigh to keep it hidden, doesn't hurt too much there. I've got three tattoos, two of them are in memory of people i've lost, the other one is for me that I got when I started to feel like I was healing from those losses. I don't regret any of them, I think it's a nice way to pay tribute to someone or something important to you.
Once more,
I am sorry for your loss.
My ex got his first tattoo on the top of his thigh to keep it hidden, doesn't hurt too much there. I've got three tattoos, two of them are in memory of people i've lost, the other one is for me that I got when I started to feel like I was healing from those losses. I don't regret any of them, I think it's a nice way to pay tribute to someone or something important to you.
Once more,
Idolized by Aurinoko
Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....
Bob Dylan
GOLD Member
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
Posted:
Thanks for the info on the tattoo's OWD and Tea Fairy. I really appreciate it. Oh and pink too for the old school Hug Smileys.
The services are tommarow and Wensday but tonight I get the good graces of talking to the cops about it for the 4th time. I really wish they would leave it alone. I doubt any one will ever know what really happened. I wouldn't mind talking to them so much but it seems they are getting more skeptical of what happened going as far as asking before he was found if "maybe he hit his head and we went and buried him in the woods so as not to get in trouble". I almost hung up when they asked me that. I was the only one who looked for him that night and I feel like the accused. Sometime I think they should teach courses in compassion and sympathy to cops. It seems some but not all severly lack it.
I just finished talking to him and he is probably one of the nicest cops I've ever met. There are some bad egotrippin power hungry bastrads out tehre but saying all cops are bad is an awful generalization. I'm pretty sure now it was just a horrible acident his body was found in the water right outside the waterfront where I was looking for him. They have videos of the area the cops are going to look at adn see if they can see him fall and or jump in. The detective says he'll call me and let me know what their final judgement on the case is and if anything shows up on the tape. Hopefully by the end of this week all of us that knew Frank will have closure.
EDITED_BY: Rovo (1116294790)
Thanks for the info on the tattoo's OWD and Tea Fairy. I really appreciate it. Oh and pink too for the old school Hug Smileys.
The services are tommarow and Wensday but tonight I get the good graces of talking to the cops about it for the 4th time. I really wish they would leave it alone. I doubt any one will ever know what really happened. I wouldn't mind talking to them so much but it seems they are getting more skeptical of what happened going as far as asking before he was found if "maybe he hit his head and we went and buried him in the woods so as not to get in trouble". I almost hung up when they asked me that. I was the only one who looked for him that night and I feel like the accused. Sometime I think they should teach courses in compassion and sympathy to cops. It seems some but not all severly lack it.
I just finished talking to him and he is probably one of the nicest cops I've ever met. There are some bad egotrippin power hungry bastrads out tehre but saying all cops are bad is an awful generalization. I'm pretty sure now it was just a horrible acident his body was found in the water right outside the waterfront where I was looking for him. They have videos of the area the cops are going to look at adn see if they can see him fall and or jump in. The detective says he'll call me and let me know what their final judgement on the case is and if anything shows up on the tape. Hopefully by the end of this week all of us that knew Frank will have closure.
EDITED_BY: Rovo (1116294790)
Peace, Love, Circles
SILVER Member
member
92 posts
Location: Looking for hidden meaning(tas), Australia
member
92 posts
Location: Looking for hidden meaning(tas), Australia
Posted:
I think i speak for every one on HOME OF POI when i say i was deeply moved by your story and how sorry i am th at this could happen to such a perfect person 
I think i speak for every one on HOME OF POI when i say i was deeply moved by your story and how sorry i am th at this could happen to such a perfect person
"as you journey through life take a moment to stop and think about the other fellow.....He might be plotting something" Hagar the Horrible
"GIMMIE A BAG OF JELLY BEANS OR I'LL BITE YOUR KNEECAPS" The King Of Id
GOLD Member
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
Posted:
Oh Frank was far from perfect but he was a kind person and he would do anything for friends and that is why this is so tragic. There is not enough people like him in the world anymore. If you find someone like that hold onto them cause they are a dieing breed.
Oh Frank was far from perfect but he was a kind person and he would do anything for friends and that is why this is so tragic. There is not enough people like him in the world anymore. If you find someone like that hold onto them cause they are a dieing breed.
Peace, Love, Circles
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
*slou?
6,554 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
*slou?
6,554 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
SILVER Member
with added berries
1,365 posts
Location: Manchester, England (UK)
with added berries
1,365 posts
Location: Manchester, England (UK)
Posted:
Its so sad when things like this happen, but at least he had turned his life around and was on the up.
Its so sad when things like this happen, but at least he had turned his life around and was on the up. Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
member
99 posts
Location: west coast
99 posts
Location: west coast
Posted:
I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you have friends to send you hugs and support you, and though I dont know you, I send you mine too...
In the last few months I have expereinced the deaths of several people close to me.Though I know it is part of life,( we are all coming and going, nothing permanent ) my heart still feels them missing. A lot of saddness and unfinished conversations in my head.
For me, I feel it is a reminder to treasure the people we love, to not postpone anything, act now, speak now, never assume you have tomorrow, or that your friends and loved ones " know" how you feel. Tell them, touch them, share your love in direct ways. I regret that I did not always do this, and am using the understanding that regret to change how I behave, a gift ...
As far as suicide goes, I know many people consider it an act of anger or irrational in some way, hurtful. I dont necessarily agree with that. It sounds like your friend was on the way up, so may be it was not his choice, and something else happenned. But, for some people, it is just that, a choice, when they are tired, when things get too hard, when they simply want out. The thought for me is comforting in some ways, that if ever I need to, I can leave...
Regardless, I just want you to know my thoughts are also with you, and that though nothing fills the empty spaces when our friends die, they live on in our memories and our hearts.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you have friends to send you hugs and support you, and though I dont know you, I send you mine too...
In the last few months I have expereinced the deaths of several people close to me.Though I know it is part of life,( we are all coming and going, nothing permanent ) my heart still feels them missing. A lot of saddness and unfinished conversations in my head.
For me, I feel it is a reminder to treasure the people we love, to not postpone anything, act now, speak now, never assume you have tomorrow, or that your friends and loved ones " know" how you feel. Tell them, touch them, share your love in direct ways. I regret that I did not always do this, and am using the understanding that regret to change how I behave, a gift ...
As far as suicide goes, I know many people consider it an act of anger or irrational in some way, hurtful. I dont necessarily agree with that. It sounds like your friend was on the way up, so may be it was not his choice, and something else happenned. But, for some people, it is just that, a choice, when they are tired, when things get too hard, when they simply want out. The thought for me is comforting in some ways, that if ever I need to, I can leave...
Regardless, I just want you to know my thoughts are also with you, and that though nothing fills the empty spaces when our friends die, they live on in our memories and our hearts.
wherever you go, there you are
BRONZE Member
Redneck Woman
566 posts
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw, USA
Redneck Woman
566 posts
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw, USA
Posted:
If you need to talk and you see that I am on, Pm me...
I know what you are going through...
It helps to talk, I promise.
If you need to talk and you see that I am on, Pm me...
I know what you are going through...
It helps to talk, I promise.
Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.
Similar Topics
Using the keywords [losing friend] we found the following existing topics.
- Forums > i'm losing it.....any help please [25 replies]
- Forums > Losing Weight?????? [54 replies]
- Forums > Losing a friend [24 replies]
- Forums > Losing Toys is No fun........ [4 replies]
- Forums > Commitment-phobes and losing one (hugs welcomed) [11 replies]
Show more..
© 1998 - 2024 Home of Poi
All prices converted to United States dollars using XE.com