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taintedaddict
422 posts
Location: London


Posted:
Noo these windows are ok to lean on.

Don’t worry it has airbags.

Hey what’s that buzzing noise?

Don’t worry its not that deep.

One time at band camp.

No, he doesn’t bite?.

Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can pass this guy.

My brakes are fine.

Nice doggy.

I think it's trying to communicate...

"Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."


"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.


"No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris." -- Orville Wright.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.


"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

Gee, that's a cute tattoo.

It's fireproof.

What does this button do?

So, you're a cannibal.

Are you sure the power is off?

Pull the pin and count to what?



Anyone got anymore??? Im bored ubbloco

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...


Hubert_CumberdaleSILVER Member
[psylocibin fingerbobe].
479 posts
Location: London, United Kingdom


Posted:
It's quite safe Sir, you just pop this metal harness on your censored and flick this switch like so.....

newgabeSILVER Member
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia


Posted:
Glowies? Wow can I have a go?

.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Um... Goodbye...

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
No, not like that, here let me show you....

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Get off the nuclear warhead.....

'hmmpha marmmhurramphar'- Kenny from South Park

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


CloudscapeSILVER Member
Member
62 posts
Location: Dublin, Ireland


Posted:
Not quite last words but on Spike Milligan's gravestone it says

"I told you I was sick"

Remember what the doormouse said


Sir Nuggit....is a liability
899 posts
Location: playing with traffic


Posted:
What elephant?
Are you sure you want me to put it in anyway?
Does anyone feel that?
Is it me or is it hot in here? (me to my Mum when my house burnt down in 1992)


Okay, very not tasteful:
It's okay it's only a small wave!

Pull my pin out, roll me in to a room and see what happens ubbloco


BumfroIts a bum with an afro...
223 posts
Location: Newcastle NSW


Posted:
Is the deep fryer on??

Racism is a weapon of mass destruction


taintedaddict
422 posts
Location: London


Posted:
Firebyrd: what about "now wheres the window handle? Oops there goes the door"

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...


Fine_Rabid_DogInternet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...


Posted:
i wonder if that thing likes being poked?

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."


ShuBRONZE Member
Retro Fyre Wizzard
538 posts
Location: Pietermaritzburg (KZN), South Africa


Posted:
all clear....

Regards hug

Shu
(Ice-E FyreStorm - Group Manager & Performer)

You know those people your parentals warned you about?... I'M ONE OF THEM! ubbloco
Yes, i do bite!!


Captain_Hi_TopBRONZE Member
addict
529 posts
Location: North Shore, New Zealand


Posted:
are you sure?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?


boardiesBRONZE Member
member
40 posts
Location: Leeds, Australia


Posted:
... and then all there is left to do is to flip it, like this....

Sir Nuggit....is a liability
899 posts
Location: playing with traffic


Posted:
Touch it and see...

Pull my pin out, roll me in to a room and see what happens ubbloco


taintedaddict
422 posts
Location: London


Posted:
Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

I've seen this done on TV.

These are the good kind of mushrooms. .

I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

You look just like Charles Manson

Let it down slowly.

OK, I'll go ahead and make your day.

This doesn't taste right.

I can make this light before it changes

I can do that with my eyes closed

look ma! no hands!

Hey that's not a violin.

Don't be so superstitious.

Now watch this.

"And now that I'm running my life support equipment through Windows 95, I'll never have to worry about-- beeeeeeeep..."

"I eat guys like you for breakfast!" -- Jeffrey Dahmer

"How's he gonna read that magazine rolled up like that?" -- insect

"No, dude, this stuff is completely natural and safe, man. That's why it's called 'herbal.'"

"Dammit, Lizzie, get off your fat lazy ass and cut me some firewood!" -- Mr. Borden

Don't worry, I'm sure it's dead by now.

Let's split up, we'll cover more ground.

I dunno, press the button and find out.

Hello, is anyone home?

Oops.

Don't worry, it's not contagious.

Awright, let's see, how do we work this thing?

Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

He can't hear us, he's miles away

I'll be right back.

I'm sure this isn't the poisonous kind.

Don't worry, we outnumber them.

Hey, what the hell??!

Hey, what's that beeping sound?

I'm sure it's just the wind.

Of course it's safe!

No, this tribe is peaceful!


No, I'm sure they cleaned out this mine field years ago.

Safety harness?

Wait, I thought he was with you!

What greencard?

Hey, what's this switch?

Don't move, you'll trip the sensors.

Yes, I'm single.

No, this cannot be, I am invincible!

So, you're sure this isn't loaded?

Calm down, of course I disarmed it!

What, I never signed any organ donor papers!

Well, it can't get any worse!

C'mon! This CAN'T be the self-destruct button. If it was, they wouldn't leave it lying around like this where anyone could push it!

Don't worry, they'll never find us in here!

William, is that you?

They can't hit us at this range!

All you have to do is connect these two wires.

There's only one way to find out...

Hey, when it comes to driving on snow and ice, I'm the best there is.

These pills are awfully small.. I'll take a few more to be sure they work.

Stupid safety labels...

No, no, these are safe, I've seen birds eat them all the time.

Watch, I'll prove it!

Blast off!

Nah, they're blanks.

Speaking of lost, where are we?

Wheeeeeeeeee!

I know this great shortcut we can take.

Is that what I think it is?

What? Everyone knows the Titanic is unsinkable.

For God's sake, Kris, it was just a cheesecake

No, no, no, let me fix it!


I have way too much time on my hands.......

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...


melonBRONZE Member
Inept Cock
162 posts
Location: Swindon!!!!!!!, United Kingdom


Posted:
spike milligan - I told you i was ill!!!
(not really famous last words but it was on his grave, R.I.P)

im alan partridge........AHA!


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