Forums > Social Chat > The Official Male HoP Auction!
Login/Join to ParticipateIntrepid Penguin
5,635 posts
Location: Australia
Step roight up step roight up Lady HoPpers!
Here on the Auction Block today we 'ave two fine Male HoP specimins!
Firstly we 'ave the scrumptious pozee. His interests include poi, staff and firebreathing! His current occupation involves making things explode, and he's 24 years old! Lets face it ladies, this is one hot honey!
Also up for grabs today, is a lushbucket we all know as Raymond Phule! This young stud makes his living by being a Marine, at the tender age of 21! His interests are poi and staff, and he loves a good debate!
Soooooo ladies! step up now, dunt be shy, they wont bite unless you want them too.... what am i bid????
Currently on the right side up of the world.
travelling without moving
1,286 posts
Location: Maghull, Liverpool, United Kingdom
erm..i'm a bit skint, so i thought i'd see how much i could get for myself on here.
Good points:
*I'm fully house trained....ish
*i'm very affectionate (not in a hump your leg like a dog way though)
*i'm good with kids
*scarily i have better choice in women's clothes than men's, so i could possibly offer fashion advice if the auction winner is a lady
*i'm of average intelligence
bad points:
*I like to sleep....alot
*i drive WAY too fast for some people's liking
*i'm a smoker
*i dancelikeatwat
*after a night on the ale, i can clear a room with one 'silent but violent'
this auction is officially open... any offers to start us off?
Heilige Scheiße, Batman kommt!
Reality is just a state of mind which occurs through a lack of lsd
XxX owned by devilsarmy XxX
O.B.E.S.E.
travelling without moving
1,286 posts
Location: Maghull, Liverpool, United Kingdom
okay, so now i'm skint AND gutted, not even a single bid!
surely i must be worth something?
pleeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeee bid on me
Heilige Scheiße, Batman kommt!
Reality is just a state of mind which occurs through a lack of lsd
XxX owned by devilsarmy XxX
O.B.E.S.E.
Intrepid Penguin
5,635 posts
Location: Australia
sweety, i dont think you are meant to list your bad points...
just give us your vitals and step back to let the bidding start!
Currently on the right side up of the world.
travelling without moving
1,286 posts
Location: Maghull, Liverpool, United Kingdom
damn, i thought somebody had bid on me then!
Heilige Scheiße, Batman kommt!
Reality is just a state of mind which occurs through a lack of lsd
XxX owned by devilsarmy XxX
O.B.E.S.E.
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,384 posts
Location: mancunian, United Kingdom
i didnt know your were up for auction, ok here goes:
a super size lollie as big as your head,
a bottle of brandy in a eiffel tower bottle, but with no brandy lefted,
a half bottle of febreze,
some flavoured tobbaco,
a glittery disposable camera
and a bag of haribo
Disclaimer:im not responsible for what i say or do whether it be before,during and after drinking alcoholic substances (owned by BMVC).
Creater of Jenisms(TM)
Virginity like bubble,one prick all gone.
1,007 posts
Location: Horsham
hmmmm....
ill bid.....
some elbow grease
a dirty ashtray
as many malteasers as you can fit in your mouth
a pet albino
a gallon of used milk
a tin of spam
free tripe for a year
and...a hug!
oooh pick me pick me!! Owner of Dragosani's right side.
sunset seadragon
679 posts
Location: some little fluffy clouds, Belgium
I'm still a wee bit drunk, so perhaps this is the ideal time to do this (you might call it a voluntary press ganging)
So here goes,
I'm Bart,
a 30-year young male
I'm a lifeguard and a journalist, so you get the muscels and the brains all in one.
I'm mostly gentle and kind, but make no mistake ladies, I am a man
I like making breakfast in bed and I can watch a girl sleeping for hours without waking her.
I like giving massages. Speciality is foot massages (my little sis is a balletdancer, so I gets lots of practice)
for me is about giiving and losing yourself in the moment, trying to reach the stars. It's NOT about reaching the finish line.I'm trusting and forgiving, but I will get jealous when you start flirting with other guys.
I like swimming and free diving and I am a hobbychef.
I'm an excellent cocktailmaker and I do amazing things with Belgian Chocolate
That's about it...
Any more questions? PM me or ask them in my thread...
*wink*
“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” - Oscar Wilde
Jointly owned by FreyaJ, Birgit and Aurinko
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,984 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
ok hehe ill bid for idancelikeatwat
4 glasses with dust balls in them
chocolate
a double bed
life time supply of tabbaco (i thinks hows you spell it)
a nice flower
a few hugs
and a kiss
pick me *flutters eyes*
Actually back on HoP guys ...
Owned By MiG
Owns Fyre and Mods_Stole_My_Name
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
I bid for Dragosani
Hmmmm...
3 packs of coffee
20 bottles of good German beer so he won't notice I've nicked the Hoegaarden
a dvd of the Shining
complimentary lunch for breakfast in bed, prepared with my amazing cooking skills
monkey binoculars
flavoured massage oil
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
sunset seadragon
679 posts
Location: some little fluffy clouds, Belgium
Not bad for starters, not bad at all
“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” - Oscar Wilde
Jointly owned by FreyaJ, Birgit and Aurinko
travelling without moving
1,286 posts
Location: Maghull, Liverpool, United Kingdom
i think devilsarmy may have won me, it was the eye fluttering! so, any other offers?
Heilige Scheiße, Batman kommt!
Reality is just a state of mind which occurs through a lack of lsd
XxX owned by devilsarmy XxX
O.B.E.S.E.
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,984 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
hehe well i do try my best *flutters eyes with extreme cuteness*
Actually back on HoP guys ...
Owned By MiG
Owns Fyre and Mods_Stole_My_Name
travelling without moving
1,286 posts
Location: Maghull, Liverpool, United Kingdom
right, i'm gonna end my auction before 5pm tonight. so, going once........
Heilige Scheiße, Batman kommt!
Reality is just a state of mind which occurs through a lack of lsd
XxX owned by devilsarmy XxX
O.B.E.S.E.
travelling without moving
1,286 posts
Location: Maghull, Liverpool, United Kingdom
Going twice..........
SOLD! To the cutie fluttering her eyelids!
i'll take some of those hugs now thankyou very much! it was the tobacco and fluttering of eyelashes that won it for you devilsarmy!
consider me owned!
Heilige Scheiße, Batman kommt!
Reality is just a state of mind which occurs through a lack of lsd
XxX owned by devilsarmy XxX
O.B.E.S.E.
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,984 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
way!!!
*snuggles idancelikeatwat* Actually back on HoP guys ...
Owned By MiG
Owns Fyre and Mods_Stole_My_Name
travelling without moving
1,286 posts
Location: Maghull, Liverpool, United Kingdom
*enjoys a good snuggle*
Heilige Scheiße, Batman kommt!
Reality is just a state of mind which occurs through a lack of lsd
XxX owned by devilsarmy XxX
O.B.E.S.E.
1,007 posts
Location: Horsham
alright Mr Dragosani heres my offer
Some Fine belgian cheese
An umbrella for protecting from poo hooks
half a pilchard
some lukewarm british beer
lots of
'sa pet 'dragon' called susan
and a red woolly balloon
Owner of Dragosani's right side.
hello!
1,034 posts
Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
that's quite a bit! All I could offer is:
- an incredible amount of instant soup
- some wuppies (but only the small ones)
- my kinder surprise Tom-figure
- a never ending supply of books (most of them on elderly people and social and health politics)
- maybe my leatherman (it was a very cheap one) ... I still have to think about that
a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006
1,007 posts
Location: Horsham
whoa a never ending supply of books?
dagnammit!!
Owner of Dragosani's right side.
hello!
1,034 posts
Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
yeah, they somehow multiply
a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006
90 posts
This is an outrage. Grown men offering themselves like they were pieces of meat. Bloody scandalous. Unless anyone's interested in me, that is.
1,007 posts
Location: Horsham
are they all the same book?
is it burglar bill? i
that book!ILL 'AVE THAT!!!!
Owner of Dragosani's right side.
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
ooooh I have competition now!
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
hello!
1,034 posts
Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
I guess we can switch from bidding for guys to bidding for books now, can't we?
Unless of course iansmith could praise himself a bit ...
or we could just have a general auction and/or rummage sale ... how about: on display are an old pair of socks, some interesting books, two guys and lemon cheesecake (that one's for Freya
) a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
I don't know, I want more boys! I don't really own any yet
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
*Cough* (Here we Go, I need an owner)
See what I can get...
Hello. I'm Dave. 5ft 8 Chinese...
* Sometime Artist
* Good with Babies
* In-built film database
* Excellent Cook
* Good Singing Voice...
* Gives massages so good that it prompted a straight male friend to say 'Dave, I'd HAPPILY leave my girlfriend for you!'
* The Most Modest Person in the World TM
Auction closes in two days.
Start the bidding at a rusty thimble...
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
90 posts
I'm actually too modest to praise myself. In fact, I'm a firm believer in "try before you buy"..... Freya was asking if I wear anything under my kilt. Maybe all the bidders should have a quick peek before they offer their hard-earned cheesecake. I would send in a photo, but I wouldn't want to frighten the horses, as the saying goes.
travelling without moving
1,286 posts
Location: Maghull, Liverpool, United Kingdom
hmmmm,
i bid for starters;
*said rusty thimble, stolen from my nan's place
*as much g&b products as you can eat or drink
*my ultra poi, once my new rainbow socks come
*a sympathetic ear
*my ability to use extreme heat to join metals and make shiny things
Heilige Scheiße, Batman kommt!
Reality is just a state of mind which occurs through a lack of lsd
XxX owned by devilsarmy XxX
O.B.E.S.E.
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Think of it like a job interview. Nothing wrong with listing your strengths!
Can I take a peek under your kilt...?
idancelikeatwatme: OOOooooh, good opening bid. See if anyone can improve on that...!
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
90 posts
Sure Neon, just as long as you know that Freya's in the front of the queue. Well, she did ask first!
Similar Topics
Using the keywords [official male auction] we found the following existing topics.
- Forums > The Official Male HoP Auction! [2505 replies]
- Forums > The Official Female HoP Auction! [1542 replies]
- Forums > Congratulations C@ntus, Senior Director of Bids, Official HoP Male Auctionhouse [20 replies]
Show more..
© 1998 - 2024 Home of Poi
All prices converted to United States dollars using XE.com