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Flynt
SILVER Member since May 2002

Flynt

Intrepid Penguin
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 5635
Posted:Step roight up step roight up Lady HoPpers!

Here on the Auction Block today we 'ave two fine Male HoP specimins!

Firstly we 'ave the scrumptious pozee. His interests include poi, staff and firebreathing! His current occupation involves making things explode, and he's 24 years old! Lets face it ladies, this is one hot honey!

Also up for grabs today, is a lushbucket we all know as Raymond Phule! This young stud makes his living by being a Marine, at the tender age of 21! His interests are poi and staff, and he loves a good debate!

Soooooo ladies! step up now, dunt be shy, they wont bite unless you want them too.... what am i bid????


Currently on the right side up of the world.

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dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:quote:Originally posted by fluffy napalm fairy (Ros):
hee hee hee.......

How about if I bid:

5 loaves of bread, 2 kilo's of nutella and 5 litres of paraffin for the one they call Spiral. I think all those extra knees and elbows are well worth bidding for. You gonna raise me Drome?I raise you homebaked cookies and meals! In addition to fluffy hugs and back massages!

Ha! Beat that hun

Oh and I will raise you two liters of the stuff that makes fire

Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Official HoP Male Auctionhouse, Ltd


member
Location: The Official Male HoP Auction!

Total posts: 21
Posted:Salivating at the thought of homebaked cookies in the sale room I have to most definitely say that Spiral is sold to the Pixie of the Drome.

Kurobei: if you're not covered by the warranty then you must be old stock. Our new range is fully warranted and insured for 3 years againgst fire, theft and accidental death due to exhaustion.

Plus, I do believe you are already the property of Flynt and it is therefore the opinion of the house that you should stop whining and get with the lovin', winin' and dinin'.

Miss Napalm Fairy, as sole owner of Mr C@ntus Fraggle already your bid is a tad superfluous. But we shall, in the interest of fairness (and good marketing practice), honour your bid. Sold to the gorgeous Napalm Fairy with the dreadlocks.

iluminaryfaerie simply perruse the stock and make a bid for any or all that take your fancy. Photo supplied upon application.


~ the Executive Auctioneer pro tem and Staff The Official Home of Poi Male Auctionhouse

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Flynt
SILVER Member since May 2002

Flynt

Intrepid Penguin
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 5635
Posted:Thankyou Mr Auctioneer, those are my sentiments exactly....

Shall we go now Kurobei? `


Currently on the right side up of the world.

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Since I haven't been through the auction house lately (was too busy waiting on the block at the other one! )...I know Maximus liked the Reddi Whip and Strawberries I had in room number one, but that still leaves me with what's in room number two:

10 Lbs. rum soaked chocolates
Whipped cream (always have room for this!)
Soft deer hide manacles, complete with wrought iron bed frame
All over body lotion, edible for a licking good massage (one per night please)
And a 4 person hot tub.
50 hand made, delicately scented candles

Oh and I almost forgot the 4 casks of delicious Vampire brand (my favorite) Lambrusco wine...always good for a freshly purchase bed knave.

Anyone interested in being purchased? *devilish grin*

And Hels Bells...when do I get my turn with MikeG?
Thanks for sharing him with me, I appreciate it. Will he need a shot of adrenaline when you are done with him so that he can keep up with me?


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Official HoP Male Auctionhouse, Ltd


member
Location: The Official Male HoP Auction!

Total posts: 21
Posted:Hello young lady. My that's a lot of items you're carrying. The question is Miss Pele which of our young gents takes your fancy?

We have the very handsome Durbs or the enigmatic Myst. Or perhaps you'd prefer the mysterious Paradic Arsonist, or BurningByron. And lets not forget swiftythefireguy.

And as the ladies in question have failed to return to up their bids Mr Bendy makes a welcome return to the block.

So my lady, which will it be.

Or perhaps madam has her site set on another? If this is th case we will do our utmost to procure them for you.


~ the Executive Auctioneer pro tem and Staff The Official Home of Poi Male Auctionhouse

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FireMikeZ


FireMikeZ

Laguna dude
Location: Laguna, California, US

Total posts: 1438
Posted:Winning Bidder #1722 adren@line, congratulations on being the winning bidder for incredibly hot Male Item #2132 Bram!

Now do you want us to send you that picture Bram's dad & mom sent, looking up his kilt, WITHOUT the family crest covering the family jewels, now? If you missed it, look back some pages, it's a real family treasure, and it's yours, courtesy Earl & Lady Bram, along with young Lord Bram, because you're the winning bidder!

Bidder #3243 iluminaryfaerie

quote:Originally posted by iluminaryfaerie:
fire resistant?sorry, no Male Items for sale her can RESIST fire, most are OBSESSED and IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTED to it like nails to magnets. . . perhaps you might try in the Teflon manufacturers' overstock auctions in . . . Hong Kong?

~ FireMike & clerks
~ The Official Home of Poi Male Auctionhouse

[ 16 October 2002, 19:09: Message edited by: FreMke ]


molten cheers,

~ FireMike

FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US

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Official HoP Male Auctionhouse, Ltd


member
Location: The Official Male HoP Auction!

Total posts: 21
Posted:AUCTION HOUSE BIDDERS & ITEMS CALL

Unclaimed purchases will be resold, if the Items are present; in fact, in our current period of ROLLING SALES, Spiral has already been sold to dromepixie, CONGRATULATIONS!

The following Patrons & Male Items (in alphabetical order) are now being sent PMs to report to the clerk's desk to settle their accounts, be transferred to their lucky owners, or present themselves to our grooming staff for the After-Round 1 Firesale!

Bendy
Bram
BurningByron
Cassandra
Durbs (offered for sale by C@ntus)
Falloutboy
Havoc
Jade Lynx
Kyrian
Master Sodium
Maximus
Mike Ginny
Myst
Nyx
Paradic Arsonist
Pozee
Raymund Phule
Rozi
SmallBoy
Spanky (offered for sale by Raymund Phule)
swiftythefireguy (offered for sale while on caravan)
THE UNITED CHAINS OF FIRE
Whiffle Squeek

Sales notices are also being sent to some interested Bidders, who, alas, did not tender any winning bids! Sorry, ladies, be sure to bid up higher next time, so you don't go home * empty-handed *

PLEASE NOTE: Got a handsome ex, kid, brother, pal, idol, enemy, or lover who needs more? We're constantly open for booking new hot Male Items for sale, and we're currently in a period of ROLLING SALES! Try Lady Luck's hand! She may caress you, reward you, or spank you, take a chance, buy romance or a jolly good time at The Official Home of Poi Male Auctionhouse!

[ 16 October 2002, 20:15: Message edited by: Official HoP Male Auctionhouse, Ltd ]


~ the Executive Auctioneer pro tem and Staff The Official Home of Poi Male Auctionhouse

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:With all due respect, Mr. Auction House Man Sir, but Maximus should not be on that list. If you would kindly refer to page 5 or 6, you will see that I did in fact submit the winning bid for him, before you were hired, and that I did, in fact, make good on all payments due (ask Maximus! )
Please remove my property's..er..man's name from the above list.
Thank you.

Oh, and, do you have any suggestions on who would be a worthy addition to my purchase roster to fill that second room I bid earlier? I would really appreciate the opinions of such a specialist as yourself!

[ 16 October 2002, 19:32: Message edited by: Pele ]


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Official HoP Male Auctionhouse, Ltd


member
Location: The Official Male HoP Auction!

Total posts: 21
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Pele:
Mr. Auction House Man Sir, but Maximus should not be on that list. I did in fact submit the winning bid for him, before you were hired, and that I did, in fact, make good on all payments due (ask Maximus! )[. . .]

Oh, and, do you have any suggestions on who would be a worthy addition to my purchase roster to fill that second room I bid earlier? I would really appreciate the opinions of such a specialist as yourself! Thank you, Bidder #18 Pele, yes, you did indeed buy Item #1069 Maximus, and our clerk's desk confirms your payments have cleared in a very satisfactory way! We are merely notifying all Male Items to report here to go home with their happy new winning bidders!

What would be your pleasure in the qualities you'd like in your next Male Item?

[ 16 October 2002, 19:47: Message edited by: Official HoP Male Auctionhouse, Ltd ]


~ the Executive Auctioneer pro tem and Staff The Official Home of Poi Male Auctionhouse

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BurningByron


member
Location: Australia

Total posts: 340
Posted:I am very confused so correct me if I'm wrong here. You guys plan to sell me into slavery? right? To one of the girls on this forum? Damn I thought the Americans had a war about this or something and the dudes that wanted slavery lost. Where's Huckleberry Finn when I need him most!!

Do I have a choice about which lady I'm sold to or wether I'm sold at all?

Can I bid for myself?

Right then I bid...
two smiley faces
a shocked expression
and a wink
to purchase myself.


HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California

Total posts: 2905
Posted:I was not selling or brokering Spanky, I was mearly advertising. Thats all. I have nothing to do with his sale.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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Official HoP Male Auctionhouse, Ltd


member
Location: The Official Male HoP Auction!

Total posts: 21
Posted:AUCTIONHOUSE RULES REMINDER

Please see AUCTIONHOUSE RULES REMINDER Page 6 in this House for the 3 ways in which a Male Item can be entered for sale at auction!

Item #2067 Burning Byron may be mentally damaged, however our medical staff is checking to make sure his body is functioning satisfactorily for other interests of our lady Patrons!

This Item originally put himself up for sale, voluntarily, in pursuit of $$$$$$CASH$$$$$ according to sales entry method (2) "ITEM submits self, either because free and therefore owner of self, or with clearance from all other owner(s)." Here is the evidence:

BurningByron
Male Item # 2076
posted 30 September 2002 15:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok its about time I took advantage of my fine physique and sexual prowess within this auction, besides I need to increase my earning potential if I want to by my 1958 Triumph Spitfire.

Well ladies what do you have to offer taking into account that vegemite is not a valid form of payment. Oh and Flynt I dont accept in depth discussions on the workings of the universe as a valid form of currency either although any expression found in my email account from your wonderful self would make my day brighter, hint hint
--------------------
What you condemn will condemn you, what you judge you will one day become.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posts: 90 | From: Perth Australia | Registered: May 2002 |

Now suddenly he doesn't remember, or claims he is unfamiliar with our fine Patrons here at Home of Poi and their wonderful uses for Male Items:

BurningByron
Member
Member # 2076

posted 16 October 2002 20:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am very confused so correct me if I'm wrong here. You guys plan to sell me into slavery? right? To one of the girls on this forum? Damn I thought the Americans had a war about this or something and the dudes that wanted slavery lost. Where's Huckleberry Finn when I need him most!!

Do I have a choice about which lady I'm sold to or wether I'm sold at all?

Can I bid for myself?

Right then I bid...
two smiley faces
a shocked expression
and a wink
to purchase myself.
--------------------
What you condemn will condemn you, what you judge you will one day become.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posts: 90 | From: Perth Australia | Registered: May 2002 |

OWNER BIDDING FORBIDDEN

Owners of Male Items may not bid for them at auction, including Male Items who enter themselves for sale under method (2).

They can, however, prior to a sale round, or prior to the first bid during the current period of ROLLING SALES, register a minimum bid with the clerk's desk. We honor minimum bids by bona fide certified owners, and will advise you of when they prevent your successful sale.

Good luck , and may a good shot of whisky clear Item #2067 Burning Byron's senses!


~ the Executive Auctioneer pro tem and Staff The Official Home of Poi Male Auctionhouse

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BurningByron


member
Location: Australia

Total posts: 340
Posted:woah mentally damaged??? harsh Mr Auctioneer man.

I dont drink so a shot of whisky is probably not a good idea to 'clear' my mind. I do 'eat' though... (no seedy conatations implied )


HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.

Delete

Helz Bellz
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

lovin' it...
Location: Bristol!, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2444
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Pele:

And Hels Bells...when do I get my turn with MikeG?
Thanks for sharing him with me, I appreciate it. Will he need a shot of adrenaline when you are done with him so that he can keep up with me? Pele - I'm thinking I can lend you MikeG every Wednesday. I think you're gonna have your hands full with Maximus for the rest of the time.
I think he might need a shot of "something" yes! Pele - I'm trusting you with my merchandise, all I ask in return is that you bring him back to "mama" first thing each Thursday

But I do warn you, you have to keep a tight leash on him, he has disappeared for a few days , and I'm not a happy mistress. He has been a naughty, naughty boy not getting my permission to wander off....wait till I get my hands on him

MIKE G? MIKE G? GET BACK HERE....NOW!!!

Hels wanders off to get her whip and chains to "punish" Mike G when he returns


Live well, love much, laugh often...

Official O.B.E.S.E. cheerleader

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dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Official HoP Male Auctionhouse, Ltd:
Spiral has already been sold to dromepixie, CONGRATULATIONS!Watch out Spiral!

You are mine! Ha what should I require of you as your first duty...

You give good massages?!

We should exchange music making techniques too...

Love n hugs Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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fluffy napalm fairy


fluffy napalm fairy

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Brum / Dorset / Fairy Land

Total posts: 3638
Posted:Wahoo! Congratulations on your purchase Drome

Look what Ros got, Look what Ros got

quote:
Mr C@ntus Fraggle ... Sold to the gorgeous Napalm Fairy with the dreadlocks.
yippeeeeeeee!


Geologists do it in the dirt................ spank

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Kurobei


member
Location: The Phire Kru

Total posts: 786
Posted:Ho hum, I think I've seen enough.

I'm schleepy and ready for bed now Flynt, can we go home please?

Mmmmmmmmm *snuggles*!!


whats up with all the limitations?

Delete

Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Hels Bells:
Thanks C@ntus - you did a grand job! Plus I still get MikeG, tra la la la.....

Now where has he disappeared too? Has that Nyx been trying to steal him again??

Yooo Hoooo!!!! Over here!!!! Now that FireMike has handed you the keys to my chains, can you please unchain me?

Or don't, for that matter...


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Helz Bellz
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

lovin' it...
Location: Bristol!, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2444
Posted:MikeG - where have you been?
I see I'm gonna have to keep my eye on you! except for wednesday's when you're with Pele

I'm going to unchain you (just for the time being though). Well I think the airlines might think it a little odd if you're all chained up. Yep that's right, I'm flying you over to London, then I can start on all those foot massages I promised. Then you in turn are going to show me everything you have learnt in class...oh yes you are!

Got your passport??



Live well, love much, laugh often...

Official O.B.E.S.E. cheerleader

Delete

Spiral


Spiral

Oolering Man
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire

Total posts: 729
Posted:Quick! come and claim me before I get resold!

OOeerrr, whatever will aunty mind gap say?

(maybe I can do A runner before he gets home!)

And as for my first task....... We'll I'm quite well trained and suit many roles....... domestic, social, those kinds of things,and if you ask the auctioneer he may have my Slaves'r'Us training certificates!


Delete

the mind gap.


the mind gap.

old hand
Location: Brigadoon

Total posts: 829
Posted:i'm hungry

wherever you go, there you are.

Delete

Nyx


enthusiast
Location: NorCal

Total posts: 385
Posted:quote:Yooo Hoooo!!!! Over here!!!! Now that FireMike has handed you the keys to my chains, can you please unchain me?

Or don't, for that matter...That's fine, i'll allow that now that i'm done with you- time to send your knowlege over to the UK for a while....have fun girls!

And I think since I already have one San Diego marine i would like to make it a pair...they sure do know how to take orders! And in my long-standing tradition of absconding with the merchandise.........
*grabs Spanky before anyone has a chance to react and disappears into the night*


"Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals"

~Charles Baudelaire

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Bram....


member
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess

Total posts: 1551
Posted:I think my owner forgot me here

You. Its whats for dinner!

As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.

The wave crashing on the beach

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dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:Well Spiral it doesnt matter what Aunty mind says does it?
Ok ok so it does...

Aunty mindgap do you have anything to say?
I will surely take good care of him! That is if he is a good wittle boy

If not I will commision DFQ to give him a good spanking as it is her specialty...

DFQ- 'its all about spanking'

So you see Mr. Mindgap I am a suitable candidate for this gentleman! I would if I could own him but I know I need your express permission!

Is it granted?!?!

*looks up to the sky, hands together with puppy dog eyes*

Pls Mr mindgap
Pretty PLS.

Much love hugs and hope for Mr. Spiral to be declared mine by his Aunty Mind, Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Jade Lynx


member
Location: Laguna Beach, but i live in De...

Total posts: 239
Posted:So FireMike bought me and I bought him...

Tidy.

I'd kinda like to buy WhiffleSqueek, 'cos what a cute name, but i no longer have anything to bid since i shelled over everything for FM...

Oh well, i suspect he can keep me busy...


We got the MikeZ in the house, woot!Glue the ham, hat baby!

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FireMikeZ


FireMikeZ

Laguna dude
Location: Laguna, California, US

Total posts: 1438
Posted:( * pant * )

hufffl

( * pant pant * )

done moistening every little finger under da nail with the pointy tip of my tongue darting only 20 times and moving only 1 mm sideways per minute , now, Lynxie Mistress. . .

what's your heart's desire next?



( * pant * )

hufffffrrrrlll

oh, yeah, YES I LOVE YOUR FINGERNAILS

YES I LOVE YOUR FINGERNAILS

YES I LOVE IT WHEN YOU SCRATCH MY BACK

YES YES STOP NO STOP YES

I'M SAYING IT! I'M SAYING IT! I'M SAYING IT! PLEASE STOP NO YES NO

( * collapse * )


molten cheers,

~ FireMike

FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US

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Durbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001

Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England

Total posts: 5688
Posted:Hi all!!
Apologies and rushed (and often made up) excuses for being absent from this entire thread.
Right, now I want some answers as to why no-one bid for me!!
C'mon - I'm cheap to run, I fit in your pocket, am very lazy, lethargic and reasonably clean. Oh and have a Porsche...


Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Hels Bells:


I'm going to unchain you (just for the time being though). Well I think the airlines might think it a little odd if you're all chained up. Yep that's right, I'm flying you over to London, then I can start on all those foot massages I promised. Then you in turn are going to show me everything you have learnt in class...oh yes you are!

Got your passport??

Passport. Check!

You do NOT want to learn everything I learned in class, unless the anterosuperior pancreaticoduodenal artery interests you. Or management of acute myocardial infarction.

However, I can teach you the relevant points I learned about certain regional anatomy...



And I did not disappear. I was chained here the whole time. YOU disappeared. But I'm not allowed to complain because I am the object...


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:Durbs - I'll bid for you.

Hmm let me think what I got here..

I got some meths.. good for drinking if not spinning.. got some Boric acid as well.. mmm pretty green fire.. I also got some humbugs somewhere.. I'll take the poket fluff off tehm first tho


I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

Delete

Helz Bellz
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

lovin' it...
Location: Bristol!, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2444
Posted:quote:Originally posted by MikeGinny:

You do NOT want to learn everything I learned in class, unless the anterosuperior pancreaticoduodenal artery interests you. Or management of acute myocardial infarction.

However, I can teach you the relevant points I learned about certain regional anatomy...



And I did not disappear. I was chained here the whole time. YOU disappeared. But I'm not allowed to complain because I am the object...Regional anatomy will do just fine Doctor!
If that little minx Nyx is anything to go by - I'm going to have fun with you!

I've had a long day at work, I have an achy neck . Remembering you are the object and you are not to complain or say NO to anything, can I have a massage please? I'll make it worth you're while!



Live well, love much, laugh often...

Official O.B.E.S.E. cheerleader

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