Forums > Social Chat > the pass-it-on one-liner joke thread.

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:so you give the next person a great one-liner to make an awesome punchline with..
they come in and knock 'em dead, and then set up the next poster for an equally witty one-liner thing...

make sense?

anyway (even if you dont. just pretend..)...

what did the barman say when the horse walked into his bar?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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Dixie
Dixie

old hand
Location: Darkest Bedford.
Member Since: 5th Mar 2005
Total posts: 740
Posted:To get to the Shell station.

Why did monkey fall out of the tree?


Important Notice.
Can be found elsewhere.

This signiture has malfunctioned and can currently display no information. This matter will be rectified shortly.

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why
not _Y_
Location: Scotland
Member Since: 2nd Mar 2004
Total posts: 720
Posted:because it had no arms

Did you hear about the magic tractor?


You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" George Bernard Shaw

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:it could only work in fields of mushrooms.


why dont they play golf on the moon?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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linden rathen
linden rathen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London, UK
Member Since: 2nd Mar 2005
Total posts: 6942
Posted:because the balls get stuck in the cheese

what has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?


back

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Fine_Rabid_Dog
Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 10530
Posted:half a cow/dog/cat

How do you make a cat go woof?


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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linden rathen
linden rathen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London, UK
Member Since: 2nd Mar 2005
Total posts: 6942
Posted:buy a dog by accident

what goes black white black white black white?


back

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newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:and red....
a nun falling dowstairs.

whats long and red and comes in four minutes?


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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linden rathen
linden rathen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London, UK
Member Since: 2nd Mar 2005
Total posts: 6942
Posted:*bites tongue to obvious answer*

the mythical 'on time' london bus

what goes black white hee hee


back

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newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:(a cruise missile)

oops no, that was the last one...

erm.... Michael Jackson?


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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linden rathen
linden rathen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London, UK
Member Since: 2nd Mar 2005
Total posts: 6942
Posted:wheres your .5 of a line newgabe?
(btw the answer is "the nun who pushed her")

but we can laugh at jacko :P

when does jacko know its time for bed?


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Fine_Rabid_Dog
Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 10530
Posted:when the big hand touches the little hand Bwahahahahahahaha ubbrollsmile ubblol

What do you get if you cross a dog with a clock?


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:a wooden shoe that barks and tells the time.

where do pigs go when they die?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:no silly, a watch dog!!
(and FRD that was ace!!! clap)

Meanwhile back at the pig...

(erm,, into supermarkets cut up into rashers????)
or maybe wee wee wee wee all the way home?

*doubts these pathetic responses qualify for starting another joke but how about*:
whats green and red and moves very fast?


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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bing!
bing!

i beat my inner child
Location: manchester UK
Member Since: 25th Jan 2005
Total posts: 184
Posted:a frog in a blender

why did the fly fly?


--the spark what lit the flame which started the fire that burned forever--

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:because of the spark that lit the flame that started the fire that burned forever within the heart of the fly and his desire to do as his name exclaimed.

how many bad monkeys does it take before there are no bananas for any of them?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:one (with a big appetite)

What the difference between Karl Marx and a semi-conductor


(PM me and I'll tell you the proper answer to this one. It's probably my favorite ever joke!)


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:the semi conductor doesnt know anything about socialism.

why dont you tell us all the punchline to your probably favourite joke ever, newgabe?



where does the denist go to get his avocadoes?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:( OK then....one's a dialectical materialist and the other's a dialectrical material.) !!



Hmm as for yours.....erm......dentist... erm...... vegetables....... erm........ thinking thinking........

Nup. Pass it on....

Where DID the dentist go to get his avocados? confused


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:from the green grocer.

(duh)

how many masculinists does it take to change a light bulb?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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=Flashpoint=
=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...
Member Since: 1st Sep 2004
Total posts: 2719
Posted:Hey just one! We are all big men grrrr here...

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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MikeIcon
MikeIcon

Pooh-Bah
Location: Philadelphia, PA - USA
Member Since: 27th Mar 2003
Total posts: 2109
Posted:None, thats a man's job.
::snare snare hihat::



What do you call a monkey with a gun?


Let's turn those old bridges we crossed into ashes.
We'll blaze a new trail,
and torch the rough patches.

-Me

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:sir.

what do you do if a monkey points a gun at you?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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=Flashpoint=
=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...
Member Since: 1st Sep 2004
Total posts: 2719
Posted:Give him a banana

What do you do when a monkey points a gun at you and says "Hands up, muthaf***er"?


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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hexagonic
hexagonic

Clubbles Jugs
Location: Manchester
Member Since: 18th Feb 2004
Total posts: 1687
Posted:sit him down and tech him proper Cockney, damn Mofo!

what do u do if you see a policeman running down the street?


ah wah wah wah a wah wah

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Captain_Hi_Top
Captain_Hi_Top

addict
Location: North Shore
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 529
Posted:stop looking back







what happened when Van ate a big red candle?


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:his tongue got all waxy.

how long until the next sunrise?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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Captain_Hi_Top
Captain_Hi_Top

addict
Location: North Shore
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 529
Posted:the ships name is murphy

what do you get when you cross the policeman from noddy and a big red candle?


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

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shen shui
shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa
Member Since: 4th Jan 2005
Total posts: 1799
Posted:unsafe childrens television.

how many monsters have a big red candle?


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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Captain_Hi_Top
Captain_Hi_Top

addict
Location: North Shore
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 529
Posted:depends on the size of your pocket


if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how long does it take to fill a barrel of eggs?


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

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Page: 12

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