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Forums > Social Chat > The 'men are from mars, poi are from venus' thread

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ben_in_a_spin
BRONZE Member since Mar 2005

ben_in_a_spin

member
Location: london / cambridge

Total posts: 32
Posted:I can't help but wonder why it is that:

when a guy can do poi well, he looks really really cool without any doubt cool
but
when a girl does poi well, she is instantly the most spectacularly beautiful, talented and fascinating person in the whole world regardless of what she looks like or who she is (or indeed whether i can speak the same language as her). and i come over all shy redface

I don't know if this is a personal preference issue, but if so, do you prefer to watch men or women doing poi?

ubbidea here goes a little late-night hypothesis... (ignore at will, of course)

It all starts with the most intrinsic differences between men and women (use your imagination!). through a string of connections we go from the idea of the fertile or the maternal through to a link with the natural in all forms (note that nature is characterised in western mythologies as a woman, and a mother).

as we know from pre-school art classes, natural forms are round (feminine) and often fluid. fruit is round. petals are round. when a car is made 'sexier' it is given curves. you can spot a 'natural' or 'ergonomic' keyboard because it's curvy. Those qualities we, as a society, celebrate most in women's physical appearance tend to be based around curvy shapes.

maleness is more associated with harder, more angular forms and with aggression and the imposition of straightness on natural forms. A telephone pylon surrounded by trees is a potential world of gender conflict for the budding romanticist. straight lines are 'funtional' and 'manly'. physical bendiness, willingness to depart from conventions, and emotional flexibilty in men are all somehow 'effeminate'. bent is gay. straight, rigid and unyielding are male.

The associations of each sex with whole fields of definitions have caused enormous problems and continue to do so. you will no doubt all have your own ideas about the moral correctness of all of this, yet these remain the predominant social connotations of maleness and femaleness and masculinity and femininity, and they colour and inform the majority of our ideas and debates about gender.

I am a child of a world where (rightly or wrongly) simple geometry itself is part of the big debate over gender roles and associations. I think curves are sexy. poi surrounds the spinner with curves of all sorts of complexity. in addition, poi enhances and exaggerates fluidity of movement, or, if you like, grace and elegance.

It's hard to tell whether the conclusion of all this rambling is: 'all girls with poi in their hands are beautiful', or 'all girls are beautiful with poi in their hands'. both make me smile. smile tell me what you think.

Ben

girls who do poi?
ubblove ubbloco ubblove (blame society!)


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roarfire
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

roarfire

comfortably numb
Location: The countryside

Total posts: 2676
Posted:I think this whole thread is discriminatory.



What about girls who do staff? tongue


.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.

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KaelGotRice
GOLD Member since Jul 2003

KaelGotRice

Basu gasu bakuhatsu - because sometimes buses explode
Location: Angel's Landing, USA

Total posts: 1584
Posted:How about girls that dance well period?

wink


To do: More Firedrums 08 video?
Wildfire/US East coast fire footage
LA/EDC glow/fire footage
Fresno fire

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ubbrollsmile.gif" alt="" />

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Adya Miriyana
GOLD Member since Feb 2005

Adya Miriyana

*slou?
Location: Adelaide

Total posts: 6554
Posted:lol im not sure ben, i think you might have already answered yourself smile

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Sakura_Moon


Sakura_Moon

Hop's Kitten Jester.
Location: Wonderland igloo, Vic, Austral...

Total posts: 1803
Posted:Its been a big subject..
Originally in with the Maori culture it was only woman who did poi...learnt that from a maori friend :P
so yes, poi is more feminine, but it can cross the boundries...any spinning looks good....who cares whether its a guy/girl thing. Its interesting to think about, but spinning shouldnt be about girls hving to do poi or men ahving to do staff....
yay feminism


.:Pink Exocutioner:.

I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct...

Loving you from the deepest part of my loins.


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ilsanya


ilsanya

manic over a fence
Location: Tas, Aus

Total posts: 798
Posted:i think anyone who twirls anything on fire is instantly sexy, especially if they are good at it.

is it just me or do other people think the same?

maybe im just a pyro!


Quid Pro Quo
5|>00|\|5 /-\|^3 <00|!

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The Tea Fairy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...

Total posts: 853
Posted:I've done masses of work last term on Feminism, gender roles and culture. It's definitely not all black and white. Different cultures across the globe have very different sets of ideas that relate to masculinity and femininity. Although almost all draw distinctions between the two, not all of them associate female with nature/curves. In fact their ideas of 'female', 'nature' and 'curves can be very different from our own conceptions in the West... sorry, this is so hard to explain, it's all the anthropology theories trying to fall out of my brain! ubbloco
I think everyone looks beautiful when they spin poi!


Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

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Fearpig
BRONZE Member since Sep 2003

Fearpig

member - tee hee "member"
Location: Bethnal Green, London

Total posts: 279
Posted:Leaving out the male/female bit I think it is the proficiency that is the attraction.... if that makes sense!

What I mean is when you see anyone doing anything physical with obvious skill (running, acrobatics, dance, poi, staff, swimming, diving!) it makes them appear elegant.

Perhaps its as base as survival of the fittest.... we are attracted to those most likely to survive.

And I think I've completely lost my train of thought.....

Ah well who cares it all looks pretty!


"Whats wrong with the cat?" - Mrs Schrdinger

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Flapjacks
SILVER Member since Mar 2004

part of the lonely trio
Location: Hastings, England

Total posts: 137
Posted:mmmm guys doing staff

smells like burning teenagers..

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings

Total posts: 4172
Posted:Written by: Flapjacks

mmmm guys doing staff



are you talking about anyone in paticular there wink tongue

'im going to marry him' rolleyes ubblol


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newgabe
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali

Total posts: 4030
Posted:Good on ya Ben in a Spin.Strikes me as brave and wonderful that you dare to spay men and women do come across in different ways. And I agree with you! Including you too Flapjacks!

I was just watching a video of a really good fire troupe that has men and women being equally fabulous technically. And YES the women looked especially amazing doing poi and YES the men looked particularly awesome doing staff. And BOTH looked utterly wicked doing fire chains!!

AND proficiency makes my day watching either!


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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spritie
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX

Total posts: 2014
Posted:I'm with Fearpig. I think it has a lot to do with ability. My favorite person to watch is a boy, but I also enjoy watching girls that enjoy themselves as well.

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JauntyJames
SILVER Member since Dec 2004

JauntyJames

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA

Total posts: 3533
Posted:.:does a little dance:.

hey, i'm pretty too!


-James

"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"

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Tao Star


Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 1662
Posted:Sex & Poi biggrin

I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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munkypunks
GOLD Member since Jan 2005

munkypunks

enthusiast, but not enthusiastic
Location: Los Angeles, California

Total posts: 367
Posted:Written by: ilsanya

i think anyone who twirls anything on fire is instantly sexy, especially if they are good at it.
is it just me or do other people think the same?
maybe im just a pyro!



I don't know about instantly sexy, but instantly interesting. If they're good at it, yes. But I've frequently been called a pyro. So maybe it's just us.

My 2 cents on the difference between male and female spinners is that guys seem to tend to go for more, faster tricks, while women tend to use/insert/whatever their sensuality (not always sexuality) into it, which seems to involve more dance. At least to me (in the female perving on other females role), that's more provocative. A technically proficient woman who puts her personality into it is awesome. A guy who is sensual or spiritual and really good will instantly be able to have his way with me. smile


You can't fall off the floor, but sometimes you need a chair to reach the cookie jar.

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Flapjacks
SILVER Member since Mar 2004

part of the lonely trio
Location: Hastings, England

Total posts: 137
Posted:Written by: *Aime*
are you talking about anyone in paticular there wink tongue

'im going to marry him' rolleyes ubblol


Surprisingly no... I don't want to marry him in that way! I want to marry him because he is excellent at staff. ubbangel


smells like burning teenagers..

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pricklyleaf
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

pricklyleaf

with added berries
Location: Manchester

Total posts: 1365
Posted:maybe its because you're a boy that fancies girls, so when a girl shows she is talented you find her very attractive-it enhances it.

When a boy spins he just looks cool to you-ie you want to be him, but want to be with her!



P.s I could be wrong but weren't poi first used by maori men who used them to keep fit and agile in between battles, they were later adopted by the women who turned it into a dance.

EDITED_BY: pricklyleaf (1112727302)


Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:As long as we live in a society that objectivies women, this will be the case.

It's a blessing and a curse. I'd say 80% curse. This would be one of those 20% times.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Sir_Sheep


Sir_Sheep

old hand
Location: Chester, UK

Total posts: 725
Posted:Dunno 'bout Venus, but I was born in Cleethorpes smile

Spoiling Christmas for small children since 2003.

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Pigeon_Wigeon
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Pigeon_Wigeon

Say what?
Location: Surrey/Portsmouth

Total posts: 4760
Posted:Well ben sure made me think.. and i can see where hes coming from... but im not sure exactly how to answer the question.. i think its just life smile

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:spinners are just sexy anyway hehehehe

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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Pigeon_Wigeon
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Pigeon_Wigeon

Say what?
Location: Surrey/Portsmouth

Total posts: 4760
Posted:Amen to that!

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Well ben, this one comes up a lot. You raise some good points though. Some of those intrinsic differences are actually secondary sexual characteristics wink So curves are sexy, like a 72 Imola Ducati and probably represent the divine proportions or the golden ratio ie. shapes defined by the golden ratio have long been considered aesthetically pleasing in western cultures, reflecting nature's balance between symmetry and asymmetry. Also I think some of your observations are reinforced by our society, for instance girls go to dance class while boys do football (or else theyre phoofs). Seen Billy Elliot?

cheers smile


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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quiet


quiet

analytic
Location: bristol

Total posts: 503
Posted:i think there are occasional gender differences vis a vis how good ppl look doing poi; but i think that's more to do with how testosterone influences your spinning style.

and straight men can't dress


ture na sig

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:Jo Peacock *Swoons

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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quiet


quiet

analytic
Location: bristol

Total posts: 503
Posted:jo peacock?

ture na sig

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linden rathen
GOLD Member since Mar 2005

linden rathen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London, UK

Total posts: 6942
Posted:i think its just the interest factor - you tend to be attracted to people who do interesting and different things so watching someone do poi (especially when you dont yourself) makes them more attractive.

Then when you do do poi/staff etc i think its more the display of skill strength and daring etc. the same as any dance its designed to show off physical powers (is that the word?) and humans are hot wired for sex so anything like that will kick start the brain.

btw - what are the women wearing when they spin? could that be partly it too? :P


back

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quiet


quiet

analytic
Location: bristol

Total posts: 503
Posted:i also suspect that some men may just be taking advantage of an excuse to ogle ppl

ture na sig

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:Jo peacock angle grinds off herself, it looks so pretty and damn sexy sparks every where

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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shen shui
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

shen shui

no excuses. no apologies.
Location: aotearoa

Total posts: 1799
Posted:i like your theory there, ben.
nice.


those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.

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