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tainted


tainted

addict
Location: London

Total posts: 422
Posted:What do you class as being unreasonable behaviour to another workmate??? As i was physically pushed twice by a male workmate for no reason and I think hes in the wrong.

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...

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ado-p
GOLD Member since May 2004

ado-p

Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland

Total posts: 3882
Posted:any uninvited physical contact is complety out of order

want me to beat him up for you sweety?


Love is the law.

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tainted


tainted

addict
Location: London

Total posts: 422
Posted:Yes please......Im tiny, too small to be pushed. It really upset me, esp cos it was someone in the circus, peoples on my side but i feel really bad because i dont want to be causing trouble.... ubbcrying

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...

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Zauberdach


Zauberdach

Sometimes sword wofter
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 199
Posted:don't let people push you around it's a bad road to go down. Also, technically he's the one who started the trouble.

IMPORTANT: Any views or opinions are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of a sane person.

"just get the f**k on with it and make me the anti-christ already!"

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tainted


tainted

addict
Location: London

Total posts: 422
Posted:Ive become such a walk over this past year ie unbelievable. Ive decided to hold my own (but in a nice way ) cos i still gotta work with the lil toad

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...

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Gnor
BRONZE Member since Mar 2003

Gnor

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Perth

Total posts: 5814
Posted:Its a fine line between assertive and agressive. Assertive is good.
Holding your own in a nice way is good. hug


Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:anythings thats not wanted..... we'll send in the girls biggrin
*was pushed around for far too long one day snapped and it wasn't pretty but OMG it felt good*


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:I've had problems with a co worker before and my method was to face the problem head on. I requested a meeting with a mediator (just another worker that wasn't involved) present. I told them to their face what I didn't like about the way they behaved toward me and offered them the chance to do the same about me. Then we agreed boundries and wrote it down and both signed it and had it witnessed by the mediator. Problem solved. After that we got on fine. Often problems arise from people not understanding what another person finds comfortable as a boundry, but if you don't tell them what that boundry is you can't expect them to respect it.

Physical violence is never excusable though. That is a boundry that everyone should respect and never over step.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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house_of_mill
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

house_of_mill

old hand
Location: Manchester England

Total posts: 896
Posted:I'm with Skulduggery, go to your Hr and get a mediator or just go up to them and aske thm why they did what they did and tell them unless they can offer a decent explanation or stop any stupidity you will go to your boss and explain to them that you came to them first because you didnt want to seem two faced.

*Thats one of my favourite Nurseries over there,*

Roman, Trippie Hippie,On the way back from Play Festival

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:If he pushes you again, tell him to get his balls out.

That should worry him enough into never talking to you again.

Either that, or he will be so shocked/ confused, that what with him being frozen, you can just push him over and walk off.

smile


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Zauberdach


Zauberdach

Sometimes sword wofter
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 199
Posted:along the same lines might I suggest the following from Space Moose:


Non-Https Image Link


IMPORTANT: Any views or opinions are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of a sane person.

"just get the f**k on with it and make me the anti-christ already!"

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:oh blimey!! HOW apt is this thread... today seems to be the bulling day! I got told how ugly I was today by my sale manager.. he wasn't joking either!

try some of this!
Check out with your HR team or check out your staff guide (if you have one!) If not here are a selection of websites to try!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/health_at_work/emotional_bullying1.shtml


http://www.acas.org.uk/a_z/bullying_harassment.html


http://www.tuc.org.uk/tuc/rights_bullyatwork.cfm


http://www.workplacebullying.co.uk/

Don't let the bastards grind you down babe!

I've spoken to my director who was in the office at the time and he took the guy straight out the office and spoke to him seriously. I'm not too sure what is goign to happen next.. he tried to apologise to me straight after - but I was still so angry that I said i was too busy for fear of starting to cry in front of him.. BUT I am not going to let this lay down. I've asked for an official note to be placed in his file, saying that he is a bully.

I'm still really really angry with him and his entire attitude to me.. he seems to think he is the best thing since sliced bread.. but everyone in the office just see's him an idiot.

don't let this person bully you hun.. there is loads of info in the links above.. hope it helps..


I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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munkypunks
GOLD Member since Jan 2005

munkypunks

enthusiast, but not enthusiastic
Location: Los Angeles, California

Total posts: 367
Posted:My mother has a saying (ok, all mothers have sayings), and I hate to admit she's right, But..."Start as you intend to continue." In other words, nip it in the bud. You don't want to give this person the impression that it's ok to push you around. It'll be even harder to stop the improper behavior once it becomes a pattern. And the suggestions of having someone else present or getting an hr person involved, very good. But you mentioned circus...are you serious? Do they have hr people in circuses? I guess it's a business these days like any other.

You can't fall off the floor, but sometimes you need a chair to reach the cookie jar.

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Facelessjoker
BRONZE Member since Sep 2004

enthusiast
Location: Exeter

Total posts: 249
Posted:Written by: Skulduggery

I've had problems with a co worker before and my method was to face the problem head on. I requested a meeting with a mediator (just another worker that wasn't involved) present. I told them to their face what I didn't like about the way they behaved toward me and offered them the chance to do the same about me. Then we agreed boundries and wrote it down and both signed it and had it witnessed by the mediator. Problem solved. After that we got on fine. Often problems arise from people not understanding what another person finds comfortable as a boundry, but if you don't tell them what that boundry is you can't expect them to respect it.





Doing this is exactly what i would do usually. However at the moment i have some issues with my manager as she never turns up for work and when she does she spends most the day in town shoppig. I work in a group of 4 people (3 atm) so we`re ALL involved so getting a mediator is difficult. I would call up my area manager but the issue of only 3 employees in the shop comes up again. Its hard to grass up a co worker (especially your manager) when you work in a tiny environment and see each other everyday (if she would turn up). Its not like you can do it anonymously.
Also the guy from the other shop is all up for covering her ass too. Im pretty sure senior members of the company knows shes being slack but are doing nothing about it.

But less about me me me. Dont ever let someone touch you without your permission thats bang out of order. Get someone onto them.


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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:I didn't "grass up" anyone. I sorted it out with the person face to face.

If things go so far that you have to take it over the head of the person you have a problem with you have to do it in an open and accountable way. Anonymity is not an option as far as I'm concerned. What is the point in standing up to a bully/person not doing their job right if they can't see you are doing it? Whats to stop them doing it to you all over again if they don't see you are willing to stand up to them?


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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Facelessjoker
BRONZE Member since Sep 2004

enthusiast
Location: Exeter

Total posts: 249
Posted:Well yeah i do agree. I have said to her in the past when little things have annoyed me her response is usually "im the manager i can do what i want". The only thing i can think of is to go to someone up higher.
Right now its very difficult to mention anything to her face as she has problems outside of work so she takes a few days off now and again for this. But its the other times and lateness. Just irrisponsiblenessness.
Im quitting anyway (sos the other girl) so to be honest i dunno why im complaining. smile


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tainted


tainted

addict
Location: London

Total posts: 422
Posted:Yeah Im going to request a meeting with him tomorrow, I know hes not well lked in the circus and I dont want to be the reason that someone feels left out. Just wanna know what the problem is - you know.... Grrrr

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...

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linden rathen
GOLD Member since Mar 2005

linden rathen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London, UK

Total posts: 6942
Posted:*is so glad he works as a play worker where all i do is mess about anyway* personally if someones like that to me i tell em to smeg off (can i say that? ah well too late now)
i used to bottle it up at school and that was fatal. if on the other hand the person was just being 'playful' then make sure he knows that you dont like it most people will back off because its as much hassle being ignored or disliked by someone as it is to annoy them.


back

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Sakura_Moon


Sakura_Moon

Hop's Kitten Jester.
Location: Wonderland igloo, Vic, Austral...

Total posts: 1803
Posted:Tanted....do you want me to push him over and walk all over him for you in stilletos focussing more on the kidney region?

.:Pink Exocutioner:.

I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct...

Loving you from the deepest part of my loins.


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Pyrolific
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

Returning to a unique state of Equilibrium
Location: Adelaide, South Australia

Total posts: 3288
Posted:loads of good advice already so all I can add is;

hug for tainted hug for stix

I hope you two have a better one!

Josh


--
Help! My personality got stuck in this signature machine and I cant get it out!

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tainted


tainted

addict
Location: London

Total posts: 422
Posted:Well I tried to be the bigger person (really hard as im so short) but he wasnt interested so Im just gonna grit my teeth when ever I have to work with him guess thats the best way. Thanks every one grouphug

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Written by: tainted

Well I tried to be the bigger person (really hard as im so short) but he wasnt interested so Im just gonna grit my teeth when ever I have to work with him guess thats the best way.



It's really not.
If you have tried to confront him and he was non-responsive that is a complete lack of caring on his part and it makes it difficult to trust. In any work environment, and especially in circuses, you need to know that you can trust your co-workers.
It is not alright at all for anyone to go through their day uncomfortable or gritting his/her teeth. Tell the head-handle this- honcho, if he does not already know, about everything just to have something formal on paper. Then, if harrassment of any form continues, do not wait to get help. It is the only way this person will learn it is not okay, and *you* are not the one causing problems. *You* are the one trying to find a solution to them.

Best of luck.
hug


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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tainted


tainted

addict
Location: London

Total posts: 422
Posted:Yea your right, the last thing i want is to be depending on him i he has to base me or something. He could drop me on my head (not much going on in there but still) My housemates (also circus types - god i love my house ) dont think i should let it be, GOd my poor brain is going into overdrive. One thing im sure of and thats that im not going to stoop to his level. spank

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...

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ado-p
GOLD Member since May 2004

ado-p

Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland

Total posts: 3882
Posted:I dont think you should let it be either sweety.

like you said , you have to trust this guy with your saftey. not only that but if your the one flying and your distracted then you could just as easily have an accident

and you cant afford anymore of those wink

if you find it easier to write a letter to your boss then do it that way and talk it out with him later.


Love is the law.

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tainted


tainted

addict
Location: London

Total posts: 422
Posted:Ekkkk its really hard cos Ive never been in this situation before. I have decided that on Monday Im going to try and talk to him again (with one of my housemates there in the background) and see how it goes.

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers...

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linden rathen
GOLD Member since Mar 2005

linden rathen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London, UK

Total posts: 6942
Posted:good luck tainted smile hopefully he'll get the message - if he dosnt tho make sure you take it to your boss or sumthing bc even in a normal job you dont want ppl who are gunna mis-treat you

back

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Posted:Post deleted by Spiderbaby

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Adya Miriyana
GOLD Member since Feb 2005

Adya Miriyana

*slou?
Location: Adelaide

Total posts: 6554
Posted:ahh well done smile.. manys the time ive felt like that. but perhaps too passive still. who knows.

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Posted:Post deleted by Spiderbaby
EDITED_BY: Spiderbaby (1113087105)


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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:So what you're saying spiderbaby is if you are being bullied the solution is to become a bully yourself?

Hmmmmm sorry but thats just wrong. Why become the same as the thing you hate? Non violent strength is what you need. Stand up to the person bullying you, but don't become a bully yourself.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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