Page: 12
BRONZE Member since Nov 2003


Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Per...

Total posts: 1433
Posted:I found out last night that a good friend of mine is suffering from depression. Her husband won't let her see a counsellor or get help of other kinds.

So last night she approached me and being the concerned friend I begged her to seek professional help because I hardly think that I could be of much help to her. I mean I can listen but I don't know what to say to her.

So I have been suffering from PTSD for 7 years but it is different from other forms of depression and I don't want to say something that could make it worse for her.

I don't really know what else I can do for her.

Her husband is a total hard arse and believes in working things out by yourself...but I can see she is having a hard time coping.

Any ideas guys?

Delete Topic

BRONZE Member since Jan 2005


had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)

Total posts: 4145
Posted:Written by: Medusa

Please don't argue guys...

Sorry again redface
Some topics just really get to me, I've been involved with quite a few people suffering from depressions, so your friend's story is a very personal concern for me... pm on its way, Medusa smile

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half


Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13922
Posted:Written by: Medusa

It's all well and good saying that but unless she is willing to take that step how can we make her go to the doctor?

She isn't willing to do that.

Sorry, I misunderstood. Now, then...

There is the old-fashioned--but sometimes effective--method of giving said husband a good telling-off. You know the "would you deny her insulin if she had diabetes?" "If she dies, YOU will have to live with refusing to let her get help" etc. tactic.

Other than that, there's not much you can do.... Except vent to us. Sweet reason doesn't usually work well with depressed patients. hug

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura




Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:could her depression and her husbands objection for help, possibly be due to something that he is suffering? some of you are automatically assuming that her husband is an arse... I was laying in bed last night thinking a friends experience.. her husband is impotent.. and it's putting a hell of a strain on her relationship as her sex drive is normal / pretty high.. she loves him, but she's not getting the full relationship package and it's making her very sad.. verging on depression..

just a thought before we all go lynching him yeah?

has she told you any reason *why* she is depressed? (and before I get told off that there is *no cause* for depression - lets just agree to disagree here - yeah?)

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..


SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Hey Medusa,

hug You are really in a tough place here. The relationship between husband and wife is a very strong one, even when it isn't totally healthy. You are in a position where you can't intercede in a relationship that she has chosen to be in, yet if you don't there are very real fears for your friend's mental health.

I think your best bet is to suggest less confronting alternatives to attending a counselor, in the hope that by her taking up these things, she will be able to recognise that she needs more help.

Some great suggestions have already been made. Depressionnet is one I have used in the past. The forums are a little cheesy, but the staff are constantly available and they can also recommend support groups in her area. Support groups can assist by showig her what other people have gone through, and how they handle their depression. Once again, it isn't a substitute for counselling, but can be a great help.

Other possibilities include getting her to read some books (this can be challenging as part of depression is being unable to concentrate etc etc) or even listen to some tapes on the subject.

Be careful about getting put in the role of counsellor yourself, it makes it hard to just be a friend, and just as hard to give honest unbiased advice. And really hard to give her the space to heal in her own time.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


Page: 12

Similar Topics

Using the keywords [friend depression] we found the following similar topics.
1. Learn > Cartoons, Fun, Jokes > Pictures, Cartoons, Meme > Her new friend is keen to try Fan Dancing *help/resource
2. Forums > Friend With Depression [34 replies]
3. Forums > Poi Friend vs Real Friend paradox... [Dated 2001!] [42 replies]
4. Forums > A perspective on depression [28 replies]
5. Forums > Friend Woes [20 replies]

     Show more..