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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:Right this has happened for the final time!!!

I guess its good that I've made this decision considering my diet starts tomorrow wink ubblol but basically I just can't stand this anymore, now some of you may think this is petty but well I actually had a mini eruption in the kebabery (for any people that arent english and dont know what im on about, the kebab shop also sells many others fried servings of crap such as burgers/dogs/chicken/salad and chips.

So anyway here is my curse and quite simply I've had enough, I have the misfortune of absolutely detesting cheese, I mean I really hate the stuff, I dont like hating it cos pizza looks and smells so good, but cheese urrrggghhh! so anyway onto my Kebab conundrum, EVERYTIME i go into ANY kebabery or the like and I always ask for the same ( Can I have a burger and chips mate) they always ALWAYS!!! put cheese on the burger, now why?? did i ask for a [censored] cheese burger!!! no i didnt i asked for a [censored] burger!! if i had wanted a cheese burger i would have said CHEESE!! but no they have to be smart arse's! now the second part of the curse is (and granted this doesnt happen as often but definetly the majority of the time) i ask for a buger and chips and not only do they put cheese on it and then look at you weirdly like its your problem when u go no i didnt say i wanted cheese, but they also dollop [censored] loads of salad and mayonnaise, burger sauce, everything! did i say i wanted salad? could they not have asked would you like salad, no they assume!!! grrr sorry guys but it really annoys me, cos ok im not that unhealthy, i dont mind a bit of salad, but not in my burger, in my burgr i want meat, and bun, and some ketchup thats it! there is no harm in them asking if you want something but no they do it first!

So anyway enough is enough, I am now at war with kebaberies, at least MacDonals the heathens that they are ask hamburger or cheeseburger!

Ok I believe I'm done now for the moment

P.S. I didnt bother to do a search for a thread about this cos im sure no one would have written about such an obscure thing but no doubt UCOF will find it within the space of 12 hours I think.
Goodnight everyone, may your burgers be cheese free for a long time smile


An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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myco
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

myco


Location: melbourne, victoria, australia

Total posts: 2084
Posted:nah, i expect cheese on a burger, and salad, sauce etc. i think that it fits the decription of a typical burger. in australia at least. i'd be peeved if i had to ask for a burger with bun with a pattie, salad, cheese, sauce.... if you know they always give you cheese, specify burger no cheese, jsut in case. i think your just being a big wuss. ubbtickled

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:Well no, if you want the 'whole shabang' then i think you should say cheese burger then they say you want salad and then they do that, why should i have to say burger plain?

And anyway maybe I shuld have added this but I always say plain burger, nothing on it, yet they still do it, now i know the majority of kebab owners arent the most fluent in english but come on!! if i ask for a burger and they say you want salad that would do me just fine, i'd just say no thanks but no they have to stick cheese then salad on it, bastards!


An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Bretch


Bretch

enthusiast
Location: Cork, Ireland at present

Total posts: 247
Posted:Yeah, I don't hate cheese that much, I can take a small amount on pizza... but in Oz... everything comes with cheese. I had the misfortune of working in Mccensored and there, the hamburger is called a junior, and the cheese burger... is just a burger. I'd get asked for 10 burgers and 10 burgers I'd cook, then get, "where's the cheese??"... you didn't ask for no cheeseburger...... argh!!!!!

I used to be indecisive, but I'm not so sure now.....

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Masi
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

Masi

resident spelunker...cave bugs!!!!
Location: San Antonio, TX

Total posts: 152
Posted:i'm over here stateside wondering what in the world you crazy folk are talking about...kebab?? i started thinking about the turkish doner kebab i had in Leipzig that gave me the runs...and then i was like, wait now they're talking about burgers?! *confusion*

then it dawned on me--you mean a fastfood joint...ha! why didn't you just say so? wink now i'm not so dense as to not know that chips are fries (fish-n-chips, eh? ubbloco )...but salad? and i'm thinking burger, fries AND a salad...man yall are some hungry people!...

but no! you're talking bout lettuce on your burger.

weird culture shock, folks...at least stateside i know when i ask for a burger (ketchup, lettuce, pickles only please) and fries i get what i ask for cool


Birthday Countdown:

ubbrollsmile 23 in 106 days ubbrollsmile

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DoktorSkell
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

DoktorSkell

addict
Location: Van Diemans Land

Total posts: 475
Posted:

My first job was in a kebab shop.

We didnt sell burgers.

But my boss was this great big Egyptian guy named Atef.
He was a real bad man!!!!! mad2 mad2 mad2 mad2 mad2 mad2


Fair luna bright, fair luna moon
it shines at night but fades too soon
fair luna moon, fair luna bright
forever we dance
we dance under starlight

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:Hang on we have an American saying WE are hungry people ubbloco he he just kidding mate and Masi i think over here it is called a kebab shop cos the majority of the people that own/run them are Turkish and obviously specialse in the bowel moving Doner Kebabs and the like

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Masi
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

Masi

resident spelunker...cave bugs!!!!
Location: San Antonio, TX

Total posts: 152
Posted:definitely bowel moving

soooo good and i really like doner kebabs but turks must have intestines of steel--that thing tore me up!

yeah yeah Americans gobble gobble lots of food yadda yadda--i know smile i personally HATE that! when i go and order food i don't want something the size of Texas on my plate, i just want to feel satiated.

my euro-side is expressing itself i guess--bout half my family lives in southeast germany, so i guess they must be rubbing off on me wink


Birthday Countdown:

ubbrollsmile 23 in 106 days ubbrollsmile

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The Real Fryed Fish


God's illgitament son
Location: state of confusion

Total posts: 1489
Posted:well some one has issues with their local burger shop wink

(In the news today a local shop was burned to the grond, police have no leads except for a witness saying she heard someone yelling censored cheese as the building went up in flames)


You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

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Masi
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

Masi

resident spelunker...cave bugs!!!!
Location: San Antonio, TX

Total posts: 152
Posted:that's hilarious!!!!

*runs to her nearest burger shop with blow torch yelling censored cheese*


Birthday Countdown:

ubbrollsmile 23 in 106 days ubbrollsmile

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:*waits for Konsti to make his usual rant about the British kebab*

rolleyes

wink


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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:that sort of tomfoolery would never occur at a doener imbiss (kebab shop) in germany - you get what you asked for and nothing else! end of story.

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:So lets say i got into a doener imbiss and say burger and chips, what would i get?

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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TheBovrilMonkey
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

TheBovrilMonkey

Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England

Total posts: 2629
Posted:You'd get told to learn some manners, the magic word is 'please' wink

Or possibly, you'd get some blank stares and some german spoken back to you if they don't speak english tongue


But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

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Masi
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

Masi

resident spelunker...cave bugs!!!!
Location: San Antonio, TX

Total posts: 152
Posted:Written by: TheBovrilMonkey

You'd get told to learn some manners, the magic word is 'please' wink

Or possibly, you'd get some blank stares and some german spoken back to you if they don't speak english tongue



you know what's funny is that the last time i was in germany i was never taken for the tourist i was...i just would get really odd stares when they'd sprattle at me auf Deustch only to have me reply coherantly in english. (my verbal abilities in german are abominable biggrin)


Birthday Countdown:

ubbrollsmile 23 in 106 days ubbrollsmile

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Yex
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

Yex

Member
Location: Kamloops BC

Total posts: 97
Posted:i'm gonna start calling burger places kababeries from now on!

"Not all who wander are lost. "

J.R.R. Tolkien

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:Right that is it, believe it or not ive decided my diet now starts tomrrow wink so i went to kebabery before my piss up and i said hey can i have a burger n chipsplease, i got backl a cheese bugrer n chips (woth mayonnaise)!!! i threw s hit fit so thry cahnged it,/..... right so went n got smashed! came back was hungry so got another burger, my final one!!! adn again they did the same so i shouted [censored] you and just left, whats wrong with people!

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Written by: PyroWill

So lets say i got into a doener imbiss and say burger and chips, what would i get?



you'd probably get some guy looking at you wierd, and then saying, "was haben Sie gesagt? Sprechen Sie Deutsch, bitte!" wink

actually, you don't want a burger here - trust me on that one - they use total crap meat - the meat on a McDonald's burger being about 5 times better if you can beleive that (there is only one place in Berlin I'll eat burgers, and that is a sit down place where all the food, even the burgers, is totally awesome). But a request for burger and chips would land you with a peice of something approximating meat of some sort between two slices of a bun (perhaps some lettuce and tomatoes on it, but they will ask first) and a little paper tray full of "pomme frites" - and a quizical look from the guy behind the counter wondering if you want something to go with it like ketsup or mayo. They always ask before adding anything - even onions or salt. If you don't ask for cheese strait away, 95% chance they won't even ask you if you want cheese, and you sure as heck won't get cheese without them asking if you want any first. Germans are 100% intolerant to things that are not totally up to their specifications, so no imbiss owner is going to assume anything. Besides, cheese is a bit expensive here, so they are more than happy to not give you any unless you are paying extra for it.


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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babajaga
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

babajaga

old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 863
Posted:your German gets better!!! wink

What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:ubblol

I could have even done that!

biggrin

But the German kebabs, are indeed a cut and a breed above those in England.

smile


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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:that is true - another reason to not bother with the burgers.

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Konsti


Konsti

lovable smart-ass
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria

Total posts: 785
Posted:as promised my rant about british kebabs:
why on earth do they have to be soggy and salty piece of cr@p. it makes you feel like you had a pint of saltwater the next morning...........
our kebabs here are soft, fresh buns with nicely spiced chicken meat and fresh veg, with a perfectly complimmenting garlic- joghurt sauce to make it a culinary tango in your mouth.........

cool


"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer

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babajaga
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

babajaga

old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 863
Posted:I've never tried a british one so cant tell..ok next time I'm there..ooo thats not far way yay....

What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:Cheers Konsti.

wink


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mech
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

mech

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: "In your ear"

Total posts: 6207
Posted:uk kebas suck, but kebab meet and chips is good!

Step (el-nombrie)

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Parafinfairy
SILVER Member since Sep 2003

Parafinfairy

old hand
Location: Adelaide

Total posts: 845
Posted:Or pie and chips eh mech???

Will, you're obviously going to the wrong kebab shops they wouldn't do it in Guildford!! So why don't you ask for a burger and chips without cheese next time you go? wink


Slicing the Loaf as we speak.

I need it..... Trust me!

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mech
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

mech

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: "In your ear"

Total posts: 6207
Posted:pie and chips is the food of a god, but you cant live on it, or it becomes normal, and is not so nice anymore!

Step (el-nombrie)

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Parafinfairy
SILVER Member since Sep 2003

Parafinfairy

old hand
Location: Adelaide

Total posts: 845
Posted:Hmm, I suppose you're right... biggrin

Slicing the Loaf as we speak.

I need it..... Trust me!

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:Written by: PyroWill

Right that is it, believe it or not ive decided my diet now starts tomrrow wink so i went to kebabery before my piss up and i said hey can i have a burger n chipsplease, i got backl a cheese bugrer n chips (woth mayonnaise)!!! i threw s hit fit so thry cahnged it,/..... right so went n got smashed! came back was hungry so got another burger, my final one!!! adn again they did the same so i shouted censored you and just left, whats wrong with people!



god how drunk wwas i when wrote this??!!! anyway, i forgot to add, the last one last night where i just got pissed off n left i ordered and i said Hi can i have a burger and chips but please without cheese as im 'allergic' wink and he goes ok no problem, i get it, open it and whats staring at me, a piece of [censored] cheese! thats when i walked out, anyway diet says no so i have to be good now


An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Parafinfairy
SILVER Member since Sep 2003

Parafinfairy

old hand
Location: Adelaide

Total posts: 845
Posted:ubblol - sorry, I don't mean to laugh but it is quite unfortunate!! I can't believe you asked for no cheese and they STILL gave you cheese!! Oh well looks like its going to be salad for you from now on? hug

Slicing the Loaf as we speak.

I need it..... Trust me!

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Page: 12

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