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Forums > Social Chat > People and Money and Manipulation

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Dark Chaos


member
Location: the abyss

Total posts: 15
Posted:So here's my ethical dilemma.....

I cannot afford to continue schooling for very much longer without outside aid. I have relatives who would be able to help out with some of the expenses, but they are very manipulative and annoying. They are also very depressing to talk too.

I want very much to finish college, but i do not want to jump through hoops of any kind for people who are related to me by accident of birth.

Is this worth shooting myself in the foot for? Or should i learn how to suck up already?


the night is darkest before the dawn

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Big dilemma. I have a close friend who started Uni this year, her parents are paying for it. It means that she has to live on campus at a christian college, which doesn't really suit her lifestyle. It also means they constantly threaten to stop paying for stuff if she disagrees with them about anything, even small stuff. She is weathering it okay, but finding it tough.

I don't really know how to advise you. It is tough going, but would you be worse off without the education? How manipulative are they? Are they as bad as my friends parents?


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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AardvarkOnAcid


member
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Total posts: 92
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Dark Mind:
So here's my ethical dilemma.....

I cannot afford to continue schooling for very much longer without outside aid. I have relatives who would be able to help out with some of the expenses, but they are very manipulative and annoying. They are also very depressing to talk too.

I want very much to finish college, but i do not want to jump through hoops of any kind for people who are related to me by accident of birth.

Is this worth shooting myself in the foot for? Or should i learn how to suck up already?How close are you to finishing college? If graduation isn't too far off, and you can handle the idea of a loan hanging over your head, go that route. You can then do something like the Peace Corps or AmeriCorps and teach for two years in a third world country (or some kind of rural understaffed school district). Both of these will zero your loan if you stick through the two years. Plus grad schools like them, and so do a number of employers.

(Edit) Correction: You get a definate deferment of the loan and a partial cancellation in some cases: http://www.finaid.org/loans/forgiveness.phtml

has other info you should check out. The short version is that you have options, especially if you're willing to do public service of some form for a couple years after you graduate.

[ 21 August 2002, 20:17: Message edited by: AardvarkOnAcid ]


Is that all life comes down to? To be lying face down with an overenthusiastic guy in pink pin-striped pants sitting on top of you and grunting? -- Random MusingsSex, Drugs and Psytrance.

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:I cannot tell you what to do, and also I am French, so loans and prices of studies are different... the above advice sounds pretty good to me .
I can however tell you that I personnaly would NEVER go to my family for any help... I think I'd do just about everything posssible before I end up asking people I disrespect and don't love for help ... much rather ask random people on the street because at least I'd feel like I'm not being hypocritical.... but then again ... I have such a manipulative f*** up family that I am not a reference...

Good luck to you and let us know what you decide

shine on
Cassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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the mind gap.


the mind gap.

old hand
Location: Brigadoon

Total posts: 829
Posted:just remember - you've got plenty of time as long as you do what you want . does the qualification you're working towards lead to a life that you want to live?

if you think you're old enough then i'd suggest quitting education (if only temporarily), earning yourself some money and leaving your country for a while to go somewhere completely alien and unlike the place you come from.

if and when you ever go back home you'll be in a much better position to decide for yourself exactly how to go about getting the life you want to live.

(and if you decide to go back into education after however many years it's been, your parents will be so pleased that they'll be a lot more inclined to give you money with no strings attached - trust me )

when you're old and unable to do exciting things all you'll have are the memories of what you do when you're young.
make sure they're worth remembering - it's your loss if you don't.


wherever you go, there you are.

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Dark Chaos


member
Location: the abyss

Total posts: 15
Posted:Thanks guys, i'll think it over.

the night is darkest before the dawn

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