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pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
some of you may well know that i have found my true love, and i am planning to go and live 3000 miles away from home and family and friends and what i thought was going to be my career.
I am going on my gut instinct and have started to sell off my posetions and get my funding together to relocate to Italy.
I wantto know if any of you have relocated so far away on a whim that every thing will be ok, and should i really be scared, i know my heart tells me that it is the best thing to do and i feel weird that some of my posetions have gone from me already and my plans are moving so quickly to get out there. I so want this to happen so soon but im looking at any advice i can get into relocating to another country for X number of years.
I can leave tommorrow if i wish but im trying to plan every thing as best as i can and not fall flat on my arse, some of you will know that i am well traveled around the UK but i have never relocated to another country 3000 miles away just to be with the girl i want to grow old with in happiness... im nervous and scared and kinda need reasurance but i know that i love her with all of my heart and i need to do this.

any advice? confused

JauntyJamesSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,533 posts
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA


Posted:
i wish i could give you advice, but i know nothing of these matters so i'll just say best of luck, and big hugs from everybody ever. grouphug hug hug2 wave

-James

"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"


SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
Trust your gut instincts.



The furthest I've relocated is from Cambridge to south Wales so I can't really advise you on going from one country to another. I can advise you on how to make moving into a new community work but as you say you've have done that already and don't need that advice.



I guess the answer to a successful move into another community/country is to learn the language and try to blend into the local way of life. Its just like any relationship. If you want it to last you have to work at it.



Good Luck for the future. I hope it all works out as you wish it to. Felling nervous is natural. Moving is always unsettling, even if its just down the road.

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


MandSILVER Member
Keeper of the Spitfire
2,317 posts
Location: Calgary Canada


Posted:
Pk... go with what your heart feels is right.

If things don't as planned, surely you'll still have your friends and family there to fall back on.



As you (probably) know, I met my love from HoP at a party in Kent.

I had the good life- I worked doing what I love, all over Britain and France. But- pretty much on a whim- I gave it all up to relocate to Texas. Because my heart told me it was right, and that this was the right person for me.



I've never been happier.

I'm in a wonderful relationship, and have made some amazing people over here.

I don't regret it one bit.



It's natural to feel nervous and scared, but in time you'll come to know Italy as home.



I really hope things work out for you- it really is a fantastic feeling when they do.

hug
EDITED_BY: Mand (1106002352)

Lets steal a spaceship and head for the sun, and shoot the stars with a lemonade ray gun.


pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
i already feel that it is home and i have only spent one week there with the girl of my dreams and know that this feels right to me.

I hate that i am back here, but the hardest thing i have yet to do is to tell my boss of my feelings, they have been my familly for so long but every one here knows of my plans except them, i feel in deceipt of them and i am letting them down, but yesterday was the anniversary of karls dads death and he was the one driving the car when it happened at the tender age of 16 and living in south america, so i feel that now is not the best of times, i have seen his moods on these days for the past 3 years now and would not like to make these times in their lives any harder than they already are.

i would like to thank you for the words of wisdom in my hours of need and reasurance.



relocation is hard and there is that linguistic barrier i have to cross but i am learning fast and know what i have to accomplish before i get there.



mand your words mean so much to me and i can relate so much to all of them and i would like to thank you personally from my heart in sharing them with me. ti amo mia l'amica.



grazie e ciao.

ValuraSILVER Member
Mumma Hen
6,391 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia


Posted:
I moved conuntrys and I will not lie to you it is a hard slog.



The thing I found the most different was the people. The sense of humour is very different here, than it is in New Zealand, and at first I just didnt think the Aussies are funny at all. Now I laugh my ass off AT them... **grins all cheeky like**



It takes a while to become accustomed to the culture and for a while you do feel like you stick out like a sore toe, but you will fit in!!!



It took a good year to two years before my family felt really comfy here and it wasnt easy. You just need to put down your roots and be strong.



Make sure you go home for holidays if you need to. It will remind you of where you have been and how far you have come in your life ... Its almost a comfort to go back to your new country because you realise how much things have changed since you have been gone.



I dont know if this has helped but if you have any other questions just Pm me hunny



Just as Mand said, follow your heart. You cannot go wrong.

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"


pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
having spent an evening with a friend i used to spend all of my time with 8 years ago back home, she came to visit with my brother this evening and also after the conversation with FNF i just had, i have just cried and now to read more here!.. tonight is a strange one in my mind and my heart
Thanks Kristy, you always know that you have a special place in my heart.. one true friend forever thank you for sharing.

duballstarSILVER Member
slack rating - 9.5
2,216 posts
Location: Suburbiton, Yoo-Kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
hey dude...
it's usually hard relocating to a new place even on the other side of the country so it'll take a while to get used to properly (months if not years). i've never moved countries permanantly but i lived an worked near bordeaux for six months with no-one else i knew but once settled in it was a great experience. admittedly i knew some french before but the only way to really learn a language is to immerse youself in it. the language barrier will be tricky but it'll be worth persevering with because making the effort can really be so rewarding.
on top of all that italy's a beautiful country an you'd be there with someone really special... an your friends will still there whenever you come back....sounds like it could be worth a try at least.
ultimatley though you'll know for yourself which path to follow...

bit of a ramble but i hope it helps. good luck with the decision. smile

It is our fantasies that make us real. Without our fantasies we're just a blank monkey' - Terry Pratchett


ASTRO FAERIEBRONZE Member
ummmmmmm.............
724 posts
Location: Rotherham, UK


Posted:
Well....i dont know what to say other than life is short, and only you know what feels right to you. As i already said to Sere if you love each other enough it will work wink.

Ill always be here in the UK waiting for that damned coffee, cobwebs growing over me sat at the table lol.

Honest bruv, im always here. biggrin hug

Only when the last tree has died
and the last river has been poisoned
and the last fish has been caught
will we realise that we
cannot eat money.

Cree Indian, 1909


pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
this morning i started work at 8am, to go and take in the beer delivery, felt nice to have a work out today a little physical effort for a change.
My boss Cath looked at me earlier and asked if i was ok because i seemed in a stranger mood than normal. I replied that im a little preocupied in my thoughts and she asked why.
I told her that because it was the anniversary of Karls dads death i didnt want to tell them right away of my plans. I went on to explain that i am moving away but i dont want to leave them in the lurch so to speak.
To help me get enough funds together im looking at getting out there at the end of march, this then gives me time to save more money and them the time to go away with their family on holiday.
so in 9 or 10 weeks time i aim to be gone from here.
She asked me if it was some thing that they had done, i cna understand why she asked that but they have been my familly for almost 3 years now and i will miss them and i am greatful of the experiences they have given me over the past year.
I hope that they understand that while i can and while i am still young i need to do this. Because of my past with their family i havn't told them about serena just yet, my ex knows that i am now engaged to her so im sure that she will tell the rest of them in time, maybe i feel like i dont want to drop a whole heap of things on their already dificult lives.. i dont know!.
i was dreading having that conversation for a week now but it is over and done with and i can just look forward to a future in Italy with a beautiful girl.
I think that i would like to become an english teacher in about a years time, once i have learnt their language i can concentrate on doing what i want, maybe that will change when im there but it seems a good goal to set myself for a future.

anyway thank you for your replies i really apreachiate them. hug

ado-pGOLD Member
Pirate Ninja
3,882 posts
Location: Galway/Ireland


Posted:
sooooo

what are you selling? wink

Love is the law.


vanizeSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA


Posted:
I've changed continents twice now - moved to south africa from texas, and then to germany, all basically on a whim and the promise of having a job when I arrive - knowing no one before landing.



You have the huge advantage of there being a romantic interest on the recieving end and you'll still be in the EU too.



All was good for me, so you'll be more than fine. Go for it. It is a great experience to really live in a different culture. seeing/visiting other culters is one thing, but living in them and geting accustomed to them is quite another. I might just pick up and try a couple more before I am done with it and settle down.



Just remember that the only thing you get to eat in Italy is italian food!

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
i went for a lovely chianese when i was there at the neuvo chena... lol the new china restaurant... nice food, good wine!.

italian food is good!. i had steak and chips twice too!

pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
after my post earlier, i went back downstairs to work, and ended up having another chat with Cath, she ended up in tears and told me i have to go if thats what i want but she is sad that i am going and will miss me. She eventually told Karl too and he came and said a few words, the most hurtful thing is that i will miss little Matt which brings tears to my eyes rigth now just thinking about it, and he has only just started nursery school yesterday.. im going to miss him so much.
Both of them told me that if i ever came back to england no matter where they were if it was still running a pub or not then there will always be a job with them for me. It feels nice to have that security behind me, even though i am not saleried as a manager i still have all the responsobilities and the area manager likes that i am trusted to live and work here with out my bosses around for any period of time.
Im now almost certain that the last week in march will be my last here, 2 whole months left, im so anxious to get there, im not so nervous, i think my nerves were from worry about telling Cath, the air seems to be a lot clearer now and i can relax.
Things yet to do:
finish selling every thing i own...
Book my flight...
Finalise accomodation...
Find a job...
Get my residency permit...

nothing too majorly life changing but should be smoothly done.

fluffy napalm fairyCarpal \'Tunnel
3,638 posts
Location: Brum / Dorset / Fairy Land


Posted:
pk I would like to take you somewhere beautiful before you go.

smile

we will talk about it on tuesday smile

Geologists do it in the dirt................ spank


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
it's a wonderful thing that u are doing bro! ond day may i deserve someone who would uproot their life like so for me! especially if their last name be 'difranco' wink

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
time for yet another trip. ubblol count down has begun!

pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
8 sleeps to go.

dromepixieveteran
1,463 posts
Location: Florida


Posted:
I must say you got guts thats for sure...



I have traveled a bit and relocated once to a bipolar opposite... You will find it weird at first... cause guess what? its different; but dont let that get you down! The differences are somewhat refreshing, I find, and teach you much about yourself you never knew before. I think its a great idea and I commend you for having the guts to do this, its not an easy descision!



You are releasing yourself into the vortex, let it suck you in and take you places. Let it daze and amaze you and most of all ENJOY the ride. Forget about the what if this and what if that... climb those hills when you get to them.



As for the place in particular you are choosing, Italy is amazing and a bit mental at the same time. I reckon you will be heavily amused be the people and REALLY full after you eat their food. YUMMY!!! PennealPesto! YUM!!!!



So what I'm trying to say is if you have made your descision dont doubt yourself let the tide move you where you should be where you feel safe and comfortable. Only peace and knowledge of self can result from a voyage like this.



Reminds me of a GMS tune which begins with and anchient (damn my dyslexia is getting the better of me on this word!) battle cry...

finishing something liek aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuggggggaaaaaaa and then quite loudly:

'is that not what you are here for!?!'



Thake the plunge1

I'm sure you will be fine, you can do anything you want to. You are the player in your own dream. You are the maker and breaker of your reality. Dont be afraid to set yourself free.



HUGS and good luck,

k



{edit}

I happen to know someone who taught english in Italy for over a year, recently... She didnt speak a word of Italian when she went over. I can put you in touch if you would like to know some details about the experience you might expect to have.... juggle
EDITED_BY: dromepixie (1106455194)

JUGGLEwithyourmind!


pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
that would be awsome, i have been told that there are many people out there that end up teaching english and not knowing italian at all and having no qualifications to do so too.
i know that in the nearest school thee are no english speaking teachers, the nearest school is an hour away by coach but that is not a problem, they are very regular between the cities and towns, and that city in particular is very old and beautiful and i would love to work there.

kels, if your friend has an email address i would love to be in touch with her to learn of her experiences and how she went about it.

i think that i am lucky that i have an english speaking girlfriend and she is there to help me all of the way, trying to find a house/room some where and a job for the mean time.

this year we may end up having a month in florida and a month in amsterdam i think she said, expenses paid too which will be nice, thats if she passes her courses at school.

nearly_all_goneSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: pk ....:™


to do so too.




Reading that took several attempts smile

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau


*robyn*BRONZE Member
member
111 posts
Location: canadian in canada


Posted:
i fell i should add something because i've come from vancouver to london. but i think everything's been said.

moving to a new culture is liberating.

and you can always go back home. not that you'll want to once you've settled in.

my state of mind creates my world


pkBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
sorry; my grammer is at times a little poor, when i am in a hurry to type.


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