Forums > Social Chat > how to be nice???
Login/Join to ParticipateGod's illgitament son
1,489 posts
Location: state of confusion
1,489 posts
Location: state of confusion
Posted:
ok so there's this guy in my office. nice enought guy, older, like late 50's.........any way......common sense escapes this man. its not anoying per-say, but he is presistant in geting your attention. ex. i get to work at 7:30am, half and hour before we start, give me time to go to the cafe and get breakfast, check e-mail, etc.....like clock work he gets in about 15 min after me and wants to talk about, and this will get a laugh out of you......buffy the vampire slayer> of all the things ??!? i have no intrest in this show, nor his conversations.......how do you say leave me the
alone or shut the up before i kill you, in a nice way??
ok so there's this guy in my office. nice enought guy, older, like late 50's.........any way......common sense escapes this man. its not anoying per-say, but he is presistant in geting your attention. ex. i get to work at 7:30am, half and hour before we start, give me time to go to the cafe and get breakfast, check e-mail, etc.....like clock work he gets in about 15 min after me and wants to talk about, and this will get a laugh out of you......buffy the vampire slayer> of all the things ??!? i have no intrest in this show, nor his conversations.......how do you say leave me the
alone or shut the up before i kill you, in a nice way??You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too
BRONZE Member
member
136 posts
Location: USA
member
136 posts
Location: USA
Posted:
I like to have a good book with me and get completely engrossed in it, and then simply ignore anyone who tries to talk to me. Makes me seem like I have a very tunnel-vision limited attention span, but that's better in my mind than having to be outright rude...
I like to have a good book with me and get completely engrossed in it, and then simply ignore anyone who tries to talk to me. Makes me seem like I have a very tunnel-vision limited attention span, but that's better in my mind than having to be outright rude...
I AM working.
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,533 posts
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,533 posts
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA
Posted:
what ever you end up trying, don't use red-hot peices of metal. people tend to not forgive you for red-hot pieces of metal (if you do it anyway, it works really well in the armpits)
what ever you end up trying, don't use red-hot peices of metal. people tend to not forgive you for red-hot pieces of metal (if you do it anyway, it works really well in the armpits)
-James
"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
:O how can u not want to talk about buffy
you heathen i believe the words "excuse me" followed by walking off are the solution your after, no explaination required 
its not rude but its effective
:O how can u not want to talk about buffy
you heathen i believe the words "excuse me" followed by walking off are the solution your after, no explaination required its not rude but its effective Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
GOLD Member
veteran
1,508 posts
Location: Out, United Kingdom
veteran
1,508 posts
Location: Out, United Kingdom
Posted:
Maybe interupt and go into great detail about something you know he wont want to talk about, then he'll leave you alone
Maybe interupt and go into great detail about something you know he wont want to talk about, then he'll leave you alone
AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! 
BRONZE Member
Redneck Woman
566 posts
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw, USA
Redneck Woman
566 posts
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw, USA
Posted:
"leave me the alone or shut the up before i kill you" just say that and tell him ur friend in texas is a preggo and u r getting her hormones!!!!
EDITED_BY: heyahoney (1105734869)
"leave me the
alone or shut the up before i kill you" just say that and tell him ur friend in texas is a preggo and u r getting her hormones!!!!EDITED_BY: heyahoney (1105734869)
Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.
enthusiast
247 posts
Location: Cork, Ireland at present
247 posts
Location: Cork, Ireland at present
Posted:
Tell him that buffy is crap and you hate even the thought of it.. then if he mentions someting else, say you hate that until he gets the message... if he doesn't... use the hot metal option!!!
Tell him that buffy is crap and you hate even the thought of it.. then if he mentions someting else, say you hate that until he gets the message... if he doesn't... use the hot metal option!!!
I used to be indecisive, but I'm not so sure now.....
SILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand
Posted:
say "dont you hate it when people talk to you about something that you dont want to talk about, and just want to be left alone?"
and if he doesnt get the hint when you look at him pointedly, say "especially when you come into work in the mornings and some guy comes in and talks to you about a stupid tv show thats almost as stupid as someone who cant take a hint.."..
say "dont you hate it when people talk to you about something that you dont want to talk about, and just want to be left alone?"
and if he doesnt get the hint when you look at him pointedly, say "especially when you come into work in the mornings and some guy comes in and talks to you about a stupid tv show thats almost as stupid as someone who cant take a hint.."..
those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.
SILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted:
Simple solution: you know he is going to be arriving about 15mins after you, right? Make sure you have left to go to the cafe and get your coffee at the point he will be arriving. That way he will find someone else to discuss Buffy with in the time you are gone. You can then return to the office about 5-10 mins after he has arrived and check your emails etc in peace and quiet.
Bliss...
Written by: Fryed Fish
ok so there's this guy in my office. nice enought guy, older, like late 50's.........any way......common sense escapes this man. its not anoying per-say, but he is presistant in geting your attention. ex. i get to work at 7:30am, half and hour before we start, give me time to go to the cafe and get breakfast, check e-mail, etc.....like clock work he gets in about 15 min after me and wants to talk about, ......buffy the vampire slayer> of
Simple solution: you know he is going to be arriving about 15mins after you, right? Make sure you have left to go to the cafe and get your coffee at the point he will be arriving. That way he will find someone else to discuss Buffy with in the time you are gone. You can then return to the office about 5-10 mins after he has arrived and check your emails etc in peace and quiet.
Bliss...
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,084 posts
Location: melbourne, victoria, australia
Pooh-Bah
2,084 posts
Location: melbourne, victoria, australia
Posted:
i used to work with a man who is THE most annoying person i have ever met . he was mostly harmless, but was always so excited about telling me (and anyone who would stay in the same room as him) about the chemical composition of metals or which computer programs are best etc.etc.
i would try not replying or staring into space, but he was quite happy having a monologue; i tried saying 'you know, i'm really not interested' in that, but he'd say, 'oh, it's really interesting, because you see....'; i tried bombarding him with boring stuff myself, but he'd somehow relate it back to computers or something (although one other staff member found this effective if she didn't let him get any words in); i tried listening to him and sharing his enthusiasm, but i couldn't.
one thing that would sometimes work was if i said, "i can't talk to you now, because i'm in the middle of ..... but i'll talk to you later". but i would have to talk to him later, otherwise he'd just interupt me next time.
(sorry to all those computer/physics nerds out there. i'm sure it is interesting, really)
i used to work with a man who is THE most annoying person i have ever met . he was mostly harmless, but was always so excited about telling me (and anyone who would stay in the same room as him) about the chemical composition of metals or which computer programs are best etc.etc.
i would try not replying or staring into space, but he was quite happy having a monologue; i tried saying 'you know, i'm really not interested' in that, but he'd say, 'oh, it's really interesting, because you see....'; i tried bombarding him with boring stuff myself, but he'd somehow relate it back to computers or something (although one other staff member found this effective if she didn't let him get any words in); i tried listening to him and sharing his enthusiasm, but i couldn't.
one thing that would sometimes work was if i said, "i can't talk to you now, because i'm in the middle of ..... but i'll talk to you later". but i would have to talk to him later, otherwise he'd just interupt me next time.
(sorry to all those computer/physics nerds out there. i'm sure it is interesting, really)
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
I'm often around both kids and grownups who don't have a social clue. I find that being blunt but polite works really well. If it were me I'd honestly say something like...
"Dude, hang on a sec, I can see you're like a morning person and I wish I was... but I'm not. So this half hour before we start is totally sacred to me. I don't mean to be rude but I just need to chill in my own thoughts and I can't really deal with Buffy or anything right now... is that cool?"
You can sprinkle in softening phrases like:
"I feel like a jerk saying this..."
"I hope I don't come across as rude."
Or even act it up adding:
"I've also got this headache."
"... and things in my home life are hectic so this is my only real solitude I get."
Or something equally pity seeking.
As long as you're not actively rude, and put the ownership on YOURSELF. That it's YOUR fault that you can't really listen right now and you're sorry.
I think that's the most honest way of dealing with it... to be honest but blunt.
You could get silly too... saying that your wife gets really jealous becuase you're secretly in love with Sarah Michelle Geller (Buffy) and you don't want to get caught talking about Buffy again or she'll lose it...
Or some other fun lie.
I'd stick with the truth though.
I'm often around both kids and grownups who don't have a social clue. I find that being blunt but polite works really well. If it were me I'd honestly say something like...
"Dude, hang on a sec, I can see you're like a morning person and I wish I was... but I'm not. So this half hour before we start is totally sacred to me. I don't mean to be rude but I just need to chill in my own thoughts and I can't really deal with Buffy or anything right now... is that cool?"
You can sprinkle in softening phrases like:
"I feel like a jerk saying this..."
"I hope I don't come across as rude."
Or even act it up adding:
"I've also got this headache."
"... and things in my home life are hectic so this is my only real solitude I get."
Or something equally pity seeking.
As long as you're not actively rude, and put the ownership on YOURSELF. That it's YOUR fault that you can't really listen right now and you're sorry.
I think that's the most honest way of dealing with it... to be honest but blunt.
You could get silly too... saying that your wife gets really jealous becuase you're secretly in love with Sarah Michelle Geller (Buffy) and you don't want to get caught talking about Buffy again or she'll lose it...
Or some other fun lie.
I'd stick with the truth though.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
BRONZE Member
Arf! Can I have a biscut?
288 posts
Location: North America, Mid West, USA
Arf! Can I have a biscut?
288 posts
Location: North America, Mid West, USA
Posted:
I was going to recomend a cattle prod, actually...
I was going to recomend a cattle prod, actually...
I'm weird. Just work through that and we'll all be fine.
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Posted:
I think that would encourage him......but understandable anyways
Written by:
You could get silly too... saying that your wife gets really jealous becuase you're secretly in love with Sarah Michelle Geller (Buffy) and you don't want to get caught talking about Buffy again or she'll lose it...
I think that would encourage him...
...but understandable anyways Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
k
182 posts
182 posts
Posted:
you could always remind him about work... like ask him how that thing hes working on is doing or tell him you really need to get something done.
Basicly crack the whip at him as hes probably only there slacking anyway.
so... did you get through all that filing I needed? seeing as youre here early you can go do it now
or... find little errands for him to do for you... like geting you tea from the shop 3 miles away
you could always remind him about work... like ask him how that thing hes working on is doing or tell him you really need to get something done.
Basicly crack the whip at him as hes probably only there slacking anyway.
so... did you get through all that filing I needed? seeing as youre here early you can go do it now
or... find little errands for him to do for you... like geting you tea from the shop 3 miles away
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom
Posted:
Written by: Spanner
failure to embark upon the cessation I so desire shall result in my active pursual of the termination of your life.
What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau
SILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand
Posted:
that was sweetly said, nyc.
way to go...
that was sweetly said, nyc.
way to go...
those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.
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