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DjTimP


newbie
Location: Leeds UK

Total posts: 20
Posted:Dear Mr. Bush

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of
mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do
I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 9:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Kick back, relax and role me a FAT ONE!

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peles_paynim
SILVER Member since Dec 2004

peles_paynim

member
Location: the fascist states of amerika,...

Total posts: 80
Posted:oh...thank you thank you...it's funny cuz i've used the whole cherrypicking argument on neo-christicons and they really have no reason why it's okay to be so literal with one part and disregard another...

real eyes
realize
real lies

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SpitFire
GOLD Member since Dec 2002

Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada

Total posts: 2723
Posted:The "letter" was posted on HoP not long after the November elections....it's been floating around for some time, and is very similar to a letter that floated about the web to the US's Dr. Laura Schechinger (spelling) who has a phd in nutrition, but gives psychological advice to couples. Go figure.

Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.

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DjTimP


newbie
Location: Leeds UK

Total posts: 20
Posted:yeah, i got a couple of months ago, just thought i would post something reasonably amusing as i have only just registered my name after being badgered by the master himself......

Kick back, relax and role me a FAT ONE!

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Glåss
DIAMOND Member since Nov 2001

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2523
Posted:cool smile

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Sym
BRONZE Member since Sep 2004

Sym

Geek-enviro-hippy priest
Location: Diss, Norfolk, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1858
Posted:Martin Sheen said that in the West Wing - don't know what was first though.

There's too many home fires burning and not enough trees

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Hello and welcome to HoP.

Indeed that witty spam has been circulating the internet for months and it even made it onto HoP a few times like here .

Make sure to do a search before posting as many topics have been posted before. ubbangel


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Prometheus


Prometheus

Diamond In The Rough
Location: Richmond, Virginia

Total posts: 459
Posted:How about a favorite 'Bushisms' thread? Here's my favorite:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says: Fool me once, shame on ...shame on you...fool me, um...you can't get fooled again..."


Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.

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Bretch


Bretch

enthusiast
Location: Cork, Ireland at present

Total posts: 247
Posted:Excellent... the only problem is that I won't remember them in detail when I need to!!!!

I used to be indecisive, but I'm not so sure now.....

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Everytime Bush mentions Texas, I mutter to myself, "Leave Texas out of this, you censored censored censored censored censored !!!"

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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JauntyJames
SILVER Member since Dec 2004

JauntyJames

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA

Total posts: 3533
Posted:bush is funny. i laf at him because he says "nukuler" what does "nukuler" mean? i've heard other people say it, but i just can't figure out what they're talking about ubbloco

-James

"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"

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stickman


World Champ Procrastinator
Location: ||...lost...||

Total posts: 580
Posted:that is really funny djTimP..ubblol i dont think ive ever seen that before

another good one is "they misunderestimated me!"


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Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There, United Kingdom

Total posts: 6140
Posted:My favourite Bush-ism i heard was

"I wish the French had a word for entrepreneur"

ubblol


Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:The bible is made solely of contradictions, the best one being "eye for an eye" and "love your enemy". I think they deliberately did it so that it wouldnt actually affect how people lived their life cos everything is supported and rejected!

Crazy ubbloco


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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Bretch


Bretch

enthusiast
Location: Cork, Ireland at present

Total posts: 247
Posted:My favorite is Genesis 1:12:-
Earth produced green seed-bearing plants,
all varieties,
And fruit-bearing trees of all sorts.
God saw that it was good.

ubblol


I used to be indecisive, but I'm not so sure now.....

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Flame Boy
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

Flame Boy

veteran
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1508
Posted:Has anyone read "Spike Milligans Bible"? It is smegging funny!

eg: "God saw the light and it was good, he saw the quarterly elctricity bill and it was not good.
And God called the light day and the darkness night, and so he passed his GCSE's.'

ubblol


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

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