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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:This has probably been posted before, but I've done a search and I'm bored.

Some of these are hilariously accurate, however some I don't get at all! should I be worried? confused



Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia...

The community is so concerned over the fact that muslim women can't use public swimming pools because there are men present that they have female-only periods.

The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque.

You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.

You sleep with Aeroguard on.

You're wearing a cap emblazoned with 'Get A Dog Up Ya.'

You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.

You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.

You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition.

Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.

Your idea of a lethal weapon is a slug gun.

The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies.

A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.

The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.

Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!"

All of your internationally famous people don't live here.

You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).

You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?

You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do.

The only thing better than beating the Pohms at ANY sport is giving them [censored] for it.

You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'

You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.

You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.

Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo.

You make kooky films, sometimes about wayward road trips (across the outback preferably). Quite a few are crap.

You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem.

Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.

You have a customised stubby holder.

Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.

You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.

Your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it.

The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.

The blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date.

The big national sporting events are men-only.

Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up.

Our mantras are 'fair go for all', 'mateship' and 'little Aussie battler' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us.

The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.

'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people.

An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.

You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game.

You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.

The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.

Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna shag?' and 'Carn, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation.

You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.

You realise you have no Bill of Rights.

The first thing guaranteed to get eaten at parties is fairy bread.

So that's the special ingredients that make up an Aussie - whatever your taste.


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Konsti
Konsti

lovable smart-ass
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria
Member Since: 16th Oct 2003
Total posts: 785
Posted:Written by:
Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo.


ubblol

what are u trying to say?
Isnt driving down high street blasting bad techno a legitimate activity on a sunday????


"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer

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Catalyst
Catalyst

member
Location: Virginia
Member Since: 27th Nov 2003
Total posts: 103
Posted:what is fairy bread? smile

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hexagonic
hexagonic

Clubbles Jugs
Location: Manchester
Member Since: 18th Feb 2004
Total posts: 1687
Posted:Written by: Rouge Dragon


You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.




Well if they had any sense at all they would demand a good spread like Marmite instead of the crap that vegemite is.

And driving down the high street only listening to bad techno - don't knock my hobbies!!


ah wah wah wah a wah wah

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majik
enthusiast
Location: Byron Bay Australia
Member Since: 22nd Nov 2002
Total posts: 231
Posted:Written by: Hexagonic

Written by: Rouge Dragon


You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.




Well if they had any sense at all they would demand a good spread like Marmite instead of the crap that vegemite is.





Are you dissin vegemite. eekspank
As if marmite's better, It's like the same $%@# with a whole lot more sugar in it. or something like that. I'll stick to my vegemite and tomato on toast. mmm... yumubblove

As far as the rest of the Australian ways I'll agree with some but not all. But they did amuse me. I'm proud of being a weetbix eating vegemite spreading sloth nana
majik


Live, love, laugh and dance!

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Alfred
Alfred

Altyd Brandend
Location: Orange County, California, US...
Member Since: 23rd Jul 2003
Total posts: 149
Posted:Whoa...sounds a lot like South Africa!Exept we talk diffrent :P.
GO MARMITE!


Spinning makes my world go round

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flash fire
flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 25th Jan 2001
Total posts: 2758
Posted:Written by: Catalyst


what is fairy bread? smile





Fairy bread consists of white bread, buttered and covered with sprinkles called "hundreds & thousands". Then cut into quarters, often without the crust.


Non-Https Image Link




Fancy variations are occasionally seen:
Non-Https Image Link


HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

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flash fire
flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 25th Jan 2001
Total posts: 2758
Posted:dammit. can't get my pics to work!

HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

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Ade
Are we there yet?
Location: australia
Member Since: 14th Mar 2001
Total posts: 1897
Posted:Written by:
You sleep with Aeroguard on



ubblol
at this time of year, I know I do

thanks for that Rogue - it was a bonza read wink


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myco
myco


Location: melbourne, victoria, australia
Member Since: 2nd Nov 2004
Total posts: 2084
Posted:Fairy bread is the most amazing thing invented. it's a colourful sugar sandwich. how can you go wrong? well done for putting this up rouge, let the truth be told!

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Bretch
Bretch

enthusiast
Location: Cork, Ireland at present
Member Since: 19th Nov 2004
Total posts: 247
Posted:Written by: Rouge Dragon


You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
(I don't know how to stop the quote but yet redface)

When I was in Oz, I was soooo surprised when walking down teh street, 2 guys chatting and one goes 'oh and me sheila'ubblol...and I heard nearly all the other sayings that the Aussie's are supposed to say!!!


I used to be indecisive, but I'm not so sure now.....

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jennyannej
jennyannej

newbie
Location: Cairo, Egypt
Member Since: 15th Dec 2004
Total posts: 10
Posted:hee hee hee

you forgot to mention that you spend time chatting and socializing on a website dedicated to 'poi' (and other spinny juggly stuff) that is KIWI ubblol CHOO CHOO CHOO
......with no chance of discrepancy like all the other Russell Crowe / pavlova claims....

nice list


get up stand up

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