Forums > Social Chat > Decisions, Decisions

Posted: 12th Mar 2001
Pack your bags, we're going on guilt trip! Anybody who is worth a damn in your life would be happy for you. To hold one back like that is pure 100% Grade AAA selfishness. Image the aftermath. If you do go you may lose a (so called)friend if you don't, you lose out on your "dream". You know the answer you don't need a stranger 5000 miles away to tell you so. Good luck.

Posted: 12th Mar 2001
i would go.i mean, i'd weigh P's relationship, because there is certainly something there that's worth saving...but in truth, you have to do what's in your heart. you may not get this opportunity again. if all your affairs are in order and there's nothing but him holding you back, you have to go.but i think i'd give it one more shot at explanation, and i'd probably (assuming you really care about P) get him some sort of parting gift, so that if he was still mad when i left, he might be able to think it over and get over it in the long term. course, if he's not *that* important, then just pack yer bags and get the hell outta dogde!

AnonymousPLATINUM Member

Posted: 12th Mar 2001
Hey Pele, I know this can't be easy. You and Prom have worked together very closely. I can't imagine the idea of parting would go over without some consideration of its impact. If you stop working together, your relationship to Prom will naturely change. His poutiness is only a indicator of his feeling that loss. He may have never considered before that your collaboration would end at some point. I think it's lovely that you have a partner who'd miss you if you went on to other projects. I've learned at lot of late to cut people lots of slack. I'm sure he's dealing with this situation the best he can. I'm sure you wouldn't have chosen to work with someone all this time who'd try to thrash you with a guilt trip. Maybe you can reinforce that you're not leaving because of him, if that's so. He may be taking it personally. I think given time and a sense from you of how important it is for you to take the next step, he'll feel happy for you and take this as an opportunity to grow in new directions himself. The people in our lives are so important. I hope there's a way you can help him through this transition and still remain true to your dreams. Diana

Posted: 13th Mar 2001
Taking another strand from your conversation....where would you be going??

- Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate -

Posted: 13th Mar 2001
JOIN THE CIRCUS!!!!!!!!!

Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath, fire my spirit

Posted: 13th Mar 2001
I am facing two options....to Australia for a year or with Cirque Du Soliel depending on if I get in. I am going to Aussie though next spring for a year. Prom is not happy but i am going and he knows it. I am currently getting the cold shoulder from him and I feel bad. What it comes down to is I know now that he cares for me beyond friend and partner which is something I have been oblivious to. I think that he figured if he told me this I would stay, but I can't, not for my own peasce of mind. Thank you all for the wise words and input. I like knowing that I am not the *only* one who would go if in my place! You all are the greatest!------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 13th Mar 2001
Oh, Pele. Good luck to you. And to Promethius.The best advice I think I can give is to not let either of you damage positive aspects of the relationship because it's easier than dealing with stormy reality. Try always to act out of kindness and love (that includes to yourself), and don't lose sight of the good things that have come and will still come from your duo. It's easier for a lot of people in the short term to abandon love or friendship for resentment, but in the long run, it's easier to heal ache and wounds than to deconstruct a wall. We are organic creatures, after all- it's in the core of our living nature to grow and to heal and to create, not to deconstruct.If it's your dream, then you probably know yourself well enough to know what's best. Besides, Cirque du Soleil travels, don't they? And there are always faires going on all over. This doesn't mean he'll never see you again.My partner (in the girlfriend sense), Brooke, is leaving in September for Italy, for what is an uncertain but probably long-term stay. We both know this, and we're making the best of the time we have until then. She's an opera major, and there just aren't enough opportunities here for her to do what she loves. Here is the jewel and the jist of it: I Love her for her enthusiasm, the life she finds through voice. Singing is an incredibly important part of her, and if she is going to be and grow as that person that I love, she needs to go. I will miss her very much, but in the end she will have done what she needs to do to stay alive and not ended up wondering about lost opportunities and unfollowed dreams because of us. She is a songbird. If I caged her she would die.Do you think your relationship could be the same if you stayed in spite of getting one of those performance positions? Who knows, it might grow now that you've both accepted his deeper feelings, but there could always be that itch, every time show bookings got a little sparse, every time a show didn't go well, a little voice reminding you of the imaginary place where you're not. Actually, if you do end up staying, try not to let this happen. We can't read fate backwards. It's most times impossible to look back and say "that's what I should have done. that's where I should have gone", because we would be someone else entirely by now, quite possibly looking back and saying the exact same thing from the other side of the looking-glass.My wish for him is that he finds a way to love you and enjoy it no matter where you go or how impossible anything more than friendship or partnership becomes. Unfortunately I don't know how you could help him try. It's something we need to fully learn on our own, I think.Whatever you decide, I hope the spirit of what you and Prom have created together stays with both of you in a positive way.Good luck, Pele.Peace, Love, and Fire.-Rick

-Rick aka Loki
oh, man, a signature?... uuh... this is like coming across wet cement... uuh, shoot, I had something clever I was saving... I hope I don't run out of sp

Posted: 15th Mar 2001
CIRQUE CIRQUE CIRQUE.DO IT. (i realise this is counted as shouting diana)i am going to quidam tommorrow night and i cant wait.follow your dreams, you do not need the people on this board to answer your inner questions. if you want to go, go. every parting of friends is hard butit only makes the meetings all the more enjoyable. i have said this before and i think that if you go into the cirque du soleil with an open mind and positive attitude you would learn so much.good luck with the descision

ALIBABACHICKENMANICANSEEYOURUNDERWEAR

Posted: 15th Mar 2001
um, try not to let the current intercrew turmoil affect the audition, then when you find out whether or not you're in you can worry about it. no-one asked yet but why isn't prometheus auditioning too? by the sound of it the duo is very tight and so a duo audition should be so much the better?mebbe i missed the point, but i reckon circuses are happy to take people on that are good at working with each other already and why wouldn't they?just a thought, a rap across the knuckles is prolly deserved.good luck for the audition!o-o

Posted: 15th Mar 2001
He doesn't want to o-o. Performing has never been his dream, it's been mine and he just jumped along for the ride when I started doing ren faires because he really enjoys them. He is by no means a gypsy and really hates to leave the comfort zone he has created for himself. He isn't interested in leaving the country and leaving family and friends behind. I have no such quandaries. Also where performing is concerned he is my partner and I love him dearly as such but he isn't nearly as apt to really put himself out there and try new things as I am. He was my friend long before my performance partner. He got involved because he was my safety and felt he should try it in order to know how to best protect me. Someone pointed out we made a good team and so it has been this way since.Regardless of the Cirque's decision I am going to Aussie next year with my son and his nanny. Prome finally talked to me today. he is just having a hard time with the unrequited thing and he knows now I need to do this, though I still don't think he understands why. He called me though which means we can make it through this performance year and maintain our friendship no matter what may come. I had actually decided to go before I posted my original note. After the death of my friend I knew I couldn't let any opportunity like this pass me by as life is entirely too short and every moment is precious.Thank you all for you input and outlooks. It actually helps me in my resolve should it falter.And bte o-o, yes most circus' are more apt to bring on a duo or group that works well together already, though Cirque has been known to throw a group a people together and meld them under rigorous practices.Either way, I have to do it!Thanks again to all!!!!------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir..."I prefer not to go where there is a path but to blaze a new one!"

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 17th Mar 2001
Hey Pele,I am in a similar circumstance as you. I have also been given the opportunity to possibly work with Cirque Du Soleil, but I have a husband. We have spent quite a bit of time discussing what would happen. I am lucky to say that he supports me going 100% percent, the only thing that is unfortunate is that he would not be coming with me. If it happens we will be spending a lot of money on airplane fare so we can see eachother.I guess what I am trying to say is that you can't pass this opportunity up and if he is your friend he will support you and still love you. Though the initial parting of ways may cause some grief which is natural and ok I am confident that if this person is your friend they will stand by you. But I do want to say that you should allow for your friend to grieve over your departure and that it is completely natural to do so given the history you seem to share.And maybe I'll be seeing you at the Cirque!!Donia"Where ther is sorrow, I seek the Flame."Rumi

Donia Love
Ignis Devoco Industrial Fire Circus

Where there is sorrow, I seek the flame.
Rumi

Posted: 19th Mar 2001
just been to see QUIDAM on friday night and it was amazing. it just always stikes me as being so powerful.when you say "work for cirque" what do you mean. (basically you can be anything from tent cleaner to mountain biker, dancer to gymnast)i'm interested

ALIBABACHICKENMANICANSEEYOURUNDERWEAR

Posted: 19th Mar 2001
Ali,I mean perform. It's one of the reasons I have been working so much on my flexibility, as everyone there seems to be a damn contortionist!Quidam is awesome but my favorite is Dralion. Saltimbanco is pretty good too, the only one I haven't seen is O, which is a water circus based in Las Vegas, Nevada. They are going to retire La Nouba and are developing a new show, which is where I am aiming for, though Saltimbanco has fire performers (though ones I am not thoroughly impressed with) and who knows what could happen once their contracts are up!I believe I just over answered your question and will shut up now! ------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir..."I prefer not to go where there is a path but to blaze a new one!"

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 20th Mar 2001
actually i reread what i wrote and realised i almost sounded rude.i watched "we invent the circus" last night and was amazed at the difference. but yeah they all are contortionists, the spider like on in we reinvent the circus is really scary.GOOD LUCK if you are going for it.ali

ALIBABACHICKENMANICANSEEYOURUNDERWEAR