Forums > Social Chat > I feel so selfish *DELETED*
Login/Join to Participatecomfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Post deleted by roarfire
EDITED_BY: xabandonedx (1104032541)
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
231 posts
Location: Byron Bay Australia
Don't feel bad about feeling like that, it's a natural thing. I've been twirling for like 6 yrs and for awhile I was the only twirler in my crowd. Anyhow I loved the attention and how I could brighten someones day by showing them something new and different.
Well a few friends of course wanted me to teach them. I did because I knew what it was like to do it by yourself. One of them started practising heaps and before long was doing everything I could do and I felt abit like how your feeling. But then I realised how much joy I got everytime someone I was teaching mastered a new move and that I introduced them to something that is now a big part of their lives. Everytime I have taught someone and everytime I've played with other twirlers I have learnt something new.
The people that you teach may end up knowing more moves than you or twirl smoother than you but in the end you need to realise that evreyone has there own style and noone can take that away from you.
You can find much joy in jaming with other twirlers and a mutual appreciation in the art. It is a wonderful gift to be able to share with someone else your love for such an artform.
Think about it anyhow
majik
Live, love, laugh and dance!
You can't go wrong in sharing the joy of doing something wonderful with another human being! I'll bet if you do teach your friend, you'll find the benefits overcome any selfishness you might initially feel! You also might get known as the chick who started the fire-community in your area!
Cheers!
PS: You'd look great in dreads!
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Post deleted by roarfire
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
your friend has given you the oppertunity to grow as a person, you do not need anything to make you special or different because you are unique. id advise you to do what you do because you want to do it not because of how others percieve you for doing it. you will only find real happyness from acceptance from one person, that person being you.
if your practically the only person in your area that spins you have an amazing oppertunity to create an sharing ego free fire culture that ppl will want to come to because its such a nice environment which you will find much more rewarding than spinning by yourself which is a lovely environment to push your own boundaries for spinning when your running low in inspiration.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
'The only person you spend your whole life with is yourself, so you better get to liking yourself'
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom
I know exactly how you feel but i only realised i didn't want him doing it until he got pretty good now i dont like him anymore, so my advice would be to 'spill' some paraffin on her and have a BBQ
An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind
Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife
"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Post deleted by roarfire
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
231 posts
Location: Byron Bay Australia
Do you enjoy other people teaching you new moves?
Because if you can't share with other people why should other people share with you?
Think about that
Live, love, laugh and dance!
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom
screw that and screw them, thats what i say, keep it to yourself
An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind
Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife
"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
will remind me to slap you next time i see you and not to teach you anything
teaching ppl isnt always enjoyable instantly and it can sometimes feel quite unrewarding when u invest time into ppl and then they give up and dont continue spinning. however it all becomes really worthwhile when all of a sudden u have a spinning community where everyone is teaching everyone. your reaction sounds like its quite an emotional one, i would suggest you give it some deep consideration as to the source of your selfishness. if you have a selfish attitude to spinning you will miss out on alot that it has to offer
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom
sorry guys im feeling drunk at the mo, so ignore my selfish attitude at the mo!
An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind
Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife
"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
I know what you're saying xabandonedx.... When I was in school, I thought I was unique with my purple hair, nose ring and 10 hole doc boots. Then other people started getting their nose pierced and dying their hair. So, I got my bellybutton pierced, then so did everybody else. So then I started going to raves and doing crazy stuff. Guess what? I wasn't the only one.
A few years later, I started bellydancing and firedancing. Now it seems everyone has tried bellydancing at some point and firedancing is almoste passe! *ducks*
Basically, what I'm saying is that I can totally empathise with you. However, as ben-ja-men was indicating, once you are able to identify yourself as beautiful and unique then you'll realise that being a 'trend-setter' or whatever is really an illusion and builds false ego. Believe me, I know.
And, as for teaching other people firedancing, imagine how I feel! I was a completely alone firedancer for the first 4 years - taught myself everything I know including all the bad habits... then along come people like Josh and I offer them my double staffs to play with for the first time- now they're amazing and sooooo very advanced! The petty & insecure aspect of me cringes and feels duped, however the pure and loving aspect of me feels honoured to have assisted people in broadening their skill set and helping them find an amazing talent within them which brings them happiness and inner peace.
Also, you'll discover that much of life, in all its aspects, is about networking. So, if you start to twirl with your friend, who knows what will happen? Before you know it you'll have a troupe, be doing paid performances at corporate functions - you'll be leaving school in a few years and will have already made some contacts. With your friend pushing you along, you may be constantly compelled to learn new stuff. You'll be doing acrobalance and stilt-walking etc etc. All that sorta stuff is hard to find the motivation for if you're by yourself. Who knows where it will lead?
Best of luck.
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comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Post deleted by roarfire
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Written by: xabandonedx
Oh thankyou so much Flash. When I saw that the last post from you I hesitated to look because I thought you would yell and delete the post. Thankyou for understanding.
Awww, sweets! I'm really not the yelly type at all! I feel bad that you percieve me as being so mean. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot?
HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
i've tried rewritting this post 4 times times now and can't get it out right. So its short and sweet
fire twirling with other people is nice, very nice
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Written by: flash fireWritten by: xabandonedx
Oh thankyou so much Flash. When I saw that the last post from you I hesitated to look because I thought you would yell and delete the post. Thankyou for understanding.
Awww, sweets! I'm really not the yelly type at all! I feel bad that you percieve me as being so mean. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot?
I think I read in a post that mentioned the issue of New Years Resolutions and the thread being locked etc. I'm not taking any side on that issue or anything...but you were kind of frightening. Heh, s'all good!
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
if you like and u dont live tooooo far from melbourne ill be happy to show you the joys of teaching/being taught when lexy and i start our travels
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
not with cactus
2,052 posts
Location: bristol/ southern eastern devon, United Kingdom
start a trend, become a guru
Me train running low on soul coal
They push+pull tactics are driving me loco
They shouldn't do that no no no
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Post deleted by roarfire
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
it can be tricky being taught after having learnt in isolation u have to first find your assumptions about the movement you are making and abandon them even harder is putting your ego aside. when i first met dave knox he was the first contact staffer i had ever met and i didnt learn as much as i should have cos of foolish pride, i was hesitant to try new things and look silly (luckily i got everything on tape so i was able to watch it all later) once i got over that my learning increased dramatically.
imho everyone is able to learn every move its just a matter of coming to terms with your demons and listening without assumptions. when i was at the second falmouth event this year i took a workshop on contact staff and just threw all sorts in including how to learn the matrix in two parts. out of all the staffers one or two ppl got the first bit once or twice. as the workshop was ending all these little kids came up with staffs wanting to learn so i gave them a basic staff workshop just as i was ending it this kid who would have maybe been 12 came up with a staff really keen to learn, id been teaching for close to two hours and was ready to just have a spin on my own but i decided id teach him the move i was trying to learn myself namely the matrix, within 10 minutes he had the first half down solid and he had never picked up a staff before. in imho the matrix is one of the hardest moves to learn but because he had no preconceptions and corrected each point that i mentioned he was able to get the first half down solid faster than anyone ive ever seen before (i almost gave him my staff but wasnt so sure handing fire toys to little kids was such a good idea).
anyway these are just my experiences, food for thought
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom
Right now im sober
i can offer some advice I hope, I find that it it is so good when your trying to learn that there is someone there, someone you know that if your trying a move and can;t get it right at all you can always just go ask for help, when i was learning,(admitedly i'm mostly self taught) i wanted to do it mostly on myself and only ask for help when i really needed it, so you may find your friend will want to be independant and not bug you much, which will be a good thing, and if she comes to you for help you should feel flattered that she looks up to you.And look on the bright side, if she gets really good, you'll aspire to be better naturally, and your moves will improve
, dont worry tiger An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind
Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife
"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
I haven't read all of this thread, but I think to try and remember within yourself that you were the one doing it first. A friend of mine started spinning fire about 6 months afetr I started, but because she spins for attention, and I spin more for myself, everyone things I picked it up from her. It really hurts when they say "oh did she teach you that?", but I just have to remind myself that they don't know the situation.
I won't kid you and say it doesn't hurt though; cos it does.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Post deleted by roarfire
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
part of the lonely trio
137 posts
Location: Hastings, England
I find things very difficult and time consuming to learn, and I don't have as much patience and determination as I should perhaps do. Naturally most people I've introduced to poi have picked things up much sooner than I ever did and I suspect will soon be able to teach me the amazing stuff that they'll master one day!
Not really sure whether there was any point in me writing that, but hey.
smells like burning teenagers..
Star Trekker
1,733 posts
Location: Cheshire, United Kingdom
I'm glad that bit's come out - I think that's at the heart of the issue and it's about your wider relationhip with her. She's a performer anyway, so it'll be natural for her to a) pick it up easily (grrrr) b) look good doing it and c) do it in public for the attention.
Fire was your way of saying 'hey, she gets up on stage and struts her stuff, but I'm still pretty cool too you know' - there's a frustrated performer and show-off in even the most timid of us!
I'm like you and Rouge, i do poi cos it feels good inside (like an extension to dancing), i know I'm crap at it and I'll never be any good, but the joy it brings me personally is worth that.
And I need people like you who understand why I do it and who will be bothered to teach me new things even tho I'm slow and clumsy. That's why we have a community - not everyone's the same and there's someone for everyone
'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus
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