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fireboy
An angry young man with a passon for metal
Location: Wagga Wagga, N.S.W, Australia
Member Since: 23rd Dec 2000
Total posts: 252
Posted:okay ther is this girl i like , she's cool, beautiful, smart, funny, creative and every thing i like about her.
okay hers the thing I like her and she likes me how do express to her how i feel towards her without her going no.
I NEED ROMANCE
I NEED LOVE
I NEED A LOVE LIFE
i need her

I need help from you guys


Fireboy

<<SINister miNISister>>
remeber kids jesus slaves

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dromepixie
dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:Yo man...
If you know she likes you then ask her to go out for a coffee or something...
You dont need to really make it a 'date' or anything... Just say 'hey you wanna meet up at some stage.'
Take it from there... If she likes you, you guys should have a jolly good time and will see that (obviously) you were meant to be together. You dont have to move in fast especially if you want anything more than company and sex... If you want a relationship that means something go slow... No need to speed through the procedings...
Good luck to you!
Much love, drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Mark P
Mark P

old hand
Location: Bath, England
Member Since: 26th Oct 2001
Total posts: 1031
Posted:hey fireboy,

quote: I like her and she likes me Well if this is the case then you are already half way there , I assume you spend quite a lot of time together which is really important. Doing things together (even if there are other people present) will enable you to get to know each other better, just dont try and rush things, enjoy the friendship and see what happens

Good Luck

Mark P


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Salinger
member
Location: Southampton
Member Since: 2nd Dec 2001
Total posts: 382
Posted:He who dares Rodders my son, he who dares...

(sorry Fireboy, quote from an English TV prog but the point is there, He Who Dares Wins )


A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words...

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Glåss
Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 8th Nov 2001
Total posts: 2523
Posted:ahh no mate, your better off single.
Much better off single.
Relationships I tell you, they're no good for you.
More trouble than they're worth.
you'll be better off with you.

Patron saint of single men * I am of course obliged to press apon you the benifits of singularity.

*no really, check my profile. If there were ever a case for nominative determinism this is it.

Phwoar, a lot of long words in that one.

Be cool
Glass
___________________________________________
you will only regret the things that you have or haven't done because of your fear.


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Durbs
Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
Member Since: 23rd Sep 2001
Total posts: 5688
Posted:One word - Alcohol

Don't ask me, Girls scare me; that's why I've been with the same one for so long. Being single is waaaaaaaay to scary.


Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude

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bender
still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 14th Nov 2001
Total posts: 6979
Posted:Fireboy, I can organise a firemeet if ya guys want! mmm candlelit.... heh heh!
My advice, take it of flee
Don't show off in front of her - girls pick up soo much more intuition than ya realise!
Do establish your friendship well - as you will be a 'safer choice' when the time comes for her to decide to be with you.
Don't lose your head - nurture your affection, but don't allow it to compromise your self control (you will do things that won't make sense, like foul jokes or ringing her at 4am etc.)
Do realise that if she is your first time, don't be embarrassed if ya don't 'know the drill' or what to expect - communication can overcome many many things in a realtionship

...and relax! because in the absence of fear is a relaxed confidence that anyone finds attractive.

These are things that I would tell my young self if I could, of the lessons learnt in life so far.
Love is a great beautifier.


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:How about something like, "Hey, have you seen *insert movie here*? Oh? Want to go see it on Friday? Maybe have dinner first?"

*mutters something about taking his own advice*


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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SickpuPpy
SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100
Posted:Just relax and be 100% Fireboy. Whatever you do, do not, I repeat do not pretend to be someone else to win her affections. I promise you it will only fuck things up down the road.

As Durbs suggests, perhaps some alcohal (if not for her than to kill your own jitters). I recommend A fine Bourbon such as Jim Beam, or perhaps some Jack Daniels. Every girl I ever split a bottle of Bourbon with made the first move during or shortly after the bottle (and some made a few moves after that bear some honorable mention )

But if you want to show her how you feel about her why not just walk up and kiss her. It sounds scary, yes, but if it works... Oh, what a reward you will have young padiwan. And this preimptive strike may boad well for you, in as much as if she likes you she may also be too shy to approach you. She may fall asleep at night dreaming of Fireboy, and what are you doing? Sitting around doing nothing, that's what. Get off your computer, get up some courage (whether it be Irish courage or otherwise), go find her right now and walk up and kiss her. Pretend you're James Bond (Sean Connery, or Peirce Brosnen though, cuz Roger Moore and Timothy Dalton are fucking hacks) and you know what good ol' 007 would do about this situation.

Now go forth and conquer!!!!!!

[ 06 August 2002, 12:29: Message edited by: SickpuPpy ]


Jesus helps me trick people.

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Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:I don't think i'm actually qualified to give advice on this subject.....

other than the fact that i am a girl prolly about her age. but me and relationships are often at ...er... odds.

anyhow, take it slow, spend a lot of time with her. don't say anything just yet. waiting to say something tends to be a good idea more often than not... most girls will pick up on it eventually, if it's mutual, then it should all be good... time is good, any little ways you cna let her know you care are good... and beautiful things develop out of friendship


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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fireboy
An angry young man with a passon for metal
Location: Wagga Wagga, N.S.W, Australia
Member Since: 23rd Dec 2000
Total posts: 252
Posted:okay, so urmm the thing is ihave a FEAR of rejection. man like we are good frieds and we talk have smokes @ school.
Its funny yesterday we were discussing who would get in trouble if a teacher came over and smell our smoking. and anyway i said i would get in trouble (because i wear goth kinda clothes and wear no uniform).
Anyway a teacher came to talk to a group of boys 3 metres away from us, the teacher picked up the scent of fine tobbaco. who got the blame
ME OF CORSE.
the teacher yealed out having a nice cigarrete brock
(yes)
any way we get one well and we both a common interests and so on.
BUT HOW TO OVER COME THE FEAR.


Fireboy

<<SINister miNISister>>
remeber kids jesus slaves

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dromepixie
dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:I must agree with Durbs and SickpuPpy....
Say hello to your friend Jack Daniels!

Dude you must just go for it! If you sit on it too long some other dark handsome man will snatch her up! Dont let that happen!!!! Just get yer wits and take a deep breath realising that you have nothing to loose.

Now... Dont do it horribly drunk (bad bad) and dont do it in front of people as it is someting personal...

Just do it! Why sit on your ass and wonder when you can just do and maybe have a girl by the end of it all...

Good luck, drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:Be brave, boyo!! But do give her space if it is a surprise. I tend to get freaked out if I get an unexpected romantic overture. I like to know whats coming, so tell her your feelings open & honest. If she responds immediately, well you have it solved either way. But be prepared to give her thinking space.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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lightbug
member
Location: arizona
Member Since: 24th May 2002
Total posts: 321
Posted:just be free and easy. dont set expectations for her just let things move along naturally. tell her that you like hangin out with her and take advantage if she fishes for a compliment. you have to let her know how you feel without making her feel like she has to respond to that in a specific way. be sweet and dont try to rush to an end result just enjoy the time you have with her.

drugs.. rock and roll. bad ass.. vegas hoes.. late night. booty calls.. shiny disco balls!!

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:Dude Fireboy, you and I have the same problem, basically lemme brake down my situation. I have my own small business now I go to a business meeting that is for others who have the same basic business. There is a young woman there who I find highly attractive, I could go on forever about her but I am not going to here. Any way we talk and talk about things with no problem, I get good vibes ya know but still I am scared to make the first move. hehe maybe we should start a dating advice thread!! hehe any how any advice would be nice, also another thing that scares me is the fact that I have 1 month left actually less, untill I deploy again. (for those of you who dont know me too much I just got back from a deployment 5 months ago) This fact makes me very nervous about dating, I dont want to get attached to someone and then have to leave them. Damn I hate this, just as a window of oppritunity shows up BOOM its closed by something else in my life!!!

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:Simply say, I would really like to take you out to dinner... Don't call it a date, but make it fun and special. (& that does not have to mean expensive, just somewhere you think she will enjoy)

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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SickpuPpy
SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100
Posted:Just kiss her.

Jesus helps me trick people.

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SorchaTheFlaming
member
Location: Calgary alberta Canada
Member Since: 26th Jun 2001
Total posts: 235
Posted:I think you should tell her.
the whole kissing thang sounds good too..
if she likes you to it should automaticly just work out....


Teach tolerance, not competition.
Send food, not bombs.

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:Aye the whole kissing thing does sound nice... last thursday she wore this really cool orangy but yet still red lipstick. I dunno what it was but it was cool... ok I am shutting up now

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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.:* Moon Pixie *:.
.:* Moon Pixie *:.

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: .:*over the rainbow*:.
Member Since: 7th Apr 2002
Total posts: 3492
Posted:Ray.... NOTHING should get in the way of LOVE.... if love is what it is...

But golly what would I know


*:...one day all the fairy fridges will be aligned and my pixie world will be complete...:*

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Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:You noticed what colour lipstick she was wearing? Why do men hardly ever mention this sweet stuff to the object of their affections?

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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vanize
vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:I'm guessing you are pretty young. One of the nice things about being in your late 20s/early 30s is that women start becoming a lot less shy about letting guys know they like them. Until then though, I'm afraid it is up to you to find out by sticking your neck out - you'll either get that face kissed or slapped. Don't worry, neither really hurt that much. And as so long as you handle yourself in a respectable manner, some part of her will consider it a compliment regardless. Just remember to not be a psycho/stalker if you don't get what you were looking for. Also keep in mind if it doesn't work out the way you hoped, she was probably going to rip your heart out, throw it on the ground, stomp on it, spit on it, and then pour acetone all over it at some point in the future anyway. Try to forget that last sentance if it does work out the way you were hoping - 'cause if it does go well, then I was only joking anyway.

Fear of rejection resides within us all. Conquer your fear. Experience is the best tool for doing this, so get to it - it won't help this time, but it will next time (such is the nature of experience unfortunately). And remember that women have just as much, if not more, fear of rejection - this is why it is up to the guys to do the asking out, especially when we are young. You see, we are supposedly the less emotional ones. If you are really nervous, just move slow and remember to look for feedback from her. Body language tells all.

Carpe diem.


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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vanize
vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:Rozi - the reason we hardly ever mention this stuff is because what if, god forbid, we get some minute detail wrong? Then all our efforts are not only wasted, but they work against us. We generally notice, we just tend to try to keep our mouths shut to keep out of trouble. If our girlfriend comes home with a new hairstyle, our thought process goes something like this:

New haircut. Hmmm, kinda nice. Should I say something? Oh no, What if she got it last week and I didn't notice till now?!? That would be bad. No, she must of gotten today, right? right? well, even if she did, she'll just ask me if I like really like it or if I'm just saying that. Then she'll ask me if it makes her look fatter or younger or older or something like that, and I can never figure out what she wants me to say at times like that. Ah, to hell with it, she doesn't expect me to notice details like that anyway. Just be prepared to cover your ass if she asks you about it.

Of course that all goes though our heads in about 1.5 seconds, and we just get a perplexed look on our face breifly while we are busy determining that caution is the better part of valor.


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:Yes, I notice the little things, though the sad part is I dont really know what color her eyes are!! *shrugs* Ohh well I will have to look closer next time.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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Kali
member
Location: Berlin, Germany
Member Since: 29th Apr 2002
Total posts: 577
Posted:All I can say is just be yourself (obviously) and keep in mind that you're not giving her any bad news by telling her you like her. People treat expressing their emotions like they're telling someone they're grandmother died or something. It drives me up the wall to see how overly cautious and restrictive we are.

People like to be liked! They like to be told that they're liked. Just tell her and then leave it open to whatever she feels. If things are weird because she doesn't feel the same way, at least you're not stuck in this emotional limbo. Sure its scary. It wouldn't be worth doing if it wasn't, but to me its so much worse to live life not knowing what would have happened if I'd pursued people and things that I backed off of from fear of rejection. So get to it, man!


Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:hehe, well I have to wait till thursday night hehe, I wont see her before then and I have no way of contacting her any other way.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:Hey vanise, I kinda know where you are coming from with the giving compliments to women / noticing things stuff, because some of my girlfriends do adhere to the stereotype. But do remember, it is just a stereotype, reinforced by sitcoms etc. Me? If you noticed what lipstick colour I was wearing, & said it looked nice, I would love it. I might be surprised, but I would love it.

& no, I don't tend to do the "does my bum look big in this" thing either, except as a joke


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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fireboy
An angry young man with a passon for metal
Location: Wagga Wagga, N.S.W, Australia
Member Since: 23rd Dec 2000
Total posts: 252
Posted:Okay Fear of addmitting is one thing.......

Fear of fucking up is worse.

I have had some great relationships during my 17 years of existance on this plannet we call dirth (sorry i had to add is.
Yet most of the relationships that i had :
*I HAD FUCKED THEM UP*
and i like her so much that if we did break up i would like to be good friends afterwards.

Too many words i like to say to her but how to say them to her is the problem!!!!!!!


Fireboy

<<SINister miNISister>>
remeber kids jesus slaves

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Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:Say:

I stuffed up. I realise this now, & I am sorry. I value your friendship, so can we just be mates?

Been there, said these words. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. If it doesn't, at least you know you tried.


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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Prometheus
Prometheus

Diamond In The Rough
Location: Richmond, Virginia
Member Since: 30th Jun 2002
Total posts: 459
Posted:Fear is a lot of things. It is a deterrent, an instructor, a protector, a weapon, and above all, it is an emotion. You feel enraged, you feel excited, you feel despondant, you feel afriad. Fear cannot hurt you, only prevent you from doing what you want to. There is one way to overcome fear, and that is to embrace it.
If you embrace that which you fear, if you just start conversing with her, you will understand her better. You fear rejection and failure, so what you need is a little taste of success, and you will see that fear begin to diminish. Fear is not a useless emotion, it instills caution. It's an aspect of self-preservation.
This is where bravery comes in. I don't think walking up to her and planting a kiss on her is a good idea. Yes, it may work, but more than likely she'll feel violated and awkward. This requires patience. Move slowly but surely. I don't want to trivialize the art of asking someone out, but sonetimes it is most effective to be casual. Show you are sincere, and confidently ask her to join you in something, a meal, a walk by the river, whatever. Where does bravery come from? You jsut do it. Resolve to do something, and just do it.

I remember a story from a movie. It goes like this: Superman isn't brave. He's indestructible, what has he got to fear? Bravery comes from people who can be hurt, who can fail, and go forth anyway.


Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.

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Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:Prometheus you are full of good ideas adn beautiful articulation. just a passing notice

thanks for contributions


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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