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How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 1903
Posted:This is the hardest post I've ever done.

Today I'm not afraid to say, I have cried now every day for the past four days. There are two numbers that continue to go around my head again and again. 14:46....

I guess I should really start from the begining. And by 'begining' I don't really mean the begining, more like one year ago.

Christmas 2003
My sister and I had never really been close, never the brother and sister couple that aired their issues out during their teen years, and entered adulthood as careing adults. I never knew why she didn't want to really be part of my life as I didn't know why I didn't really want to be a large part of hers. I have since found out that the reason to her not connecting to me, was that she felt jealous of me, I was the youngest, I was the one who was placed into a private school, I was the one who got the things that my brother and sister never got. However, these were the things I rebeled from.

So in 2003 it was my sister's turn to hold a 'family' christmas party. In the spirit of christmas, I asked the family if I could bring a close friend of mine to the party, with the whole family saying yes... but one. My sister did not want them to come ( and so you know, her side of the coin, this was to be one of the last Christmas's the whole family would have together, as my parents where moving away one month later.). This tore us apart, and I lost contact with her for close to one year.

December 11-12/Dec/2004

So lately I had been hearing about how my sister had been have back pains. She seemed to have been having these pains now since February '04 and was going into surgery, as the doctors had found a tumor was growing in her spinal cord.

On the the 16/Dec/2004 I felt like I needed to call her, I needed to tell her that I was sorry we hadn't spoken for a year, and that I loved her. She in return told me she too was sorry, and that she loved me, and together we both forgave everything that we had done to hurt each other through out the years, we promised to start anew.

I didn't kow at the time that this would be the last time I would hear my sister's voice.

The surgery was a sucess, and my sister did wake. She was even able to wiggle her toes, something that because of the pain she was unable to do before. However, on the 18th when she stood to begin her exercises, she stated that she felt funny, and had to lay down. As she laid apon her bed, my sister's heart stopped. For fourty-five minutes the doctors proformed CPR, until a pulse returned. A clot from her leg had dislodged, and had entered her heart, then her lung. There was a pulse, but my sister would never be the same.

On the 21st of December at 14:46, I held my sister's hand, as she passed away.

23/Dec/1973 - 21/Dec/2004
Loving wife.
Mother of two.
Loved Daughter and Sister.

Until I walk with you again.

Make that I have now cried for the past five days.

I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men

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Posted:ubbcrying ubbcrying ubbcrying hug hug hug hug hug hug



Location: Galveston, TX
Member Since: 9th Sep 2001
Total posts: 2014
Posted:Huge hugs for you and your family hug hug hug hug hug hug hug


flash fire
flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 25th Jan 2001
Total posts: 2758
Posted:Troy, that's tragic. You've brought tears to my eyes too. Much love and support being sent your way.

Thank you so much for sharing angel

HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.


Are we there yet?
Location: australia
Member Since: 14th Mar 2001
Total posts: 1897

words can not express



Lillie Frog
Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales
Member Since: 31st May 2004
Total posts: 558
Posted:That's so sad.

You have all my sympathy.


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road


Mistress Aurora
Mistress Aurora

Hot Schtuff
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
Member Since: 19th Jan 2003
Total posts: 1032
Posted:hug hug hug I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

frown hug

RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.



Sweet talented nutter
Location: Brisbane Oz
Member Since: 3rd Aug 2002
Total posts: 2615
Posted:TROY im sorry to hear that it explains why i havn't been able to phone you .

that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk



Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414

Mate, Im thinking of you.




Arf! Can I have a biscut?
Location: North America, Mid West
Member Since: 28th Nov 2004
Total posts: 288
Posted:hug hug hug frown

I'm weird. Just work through that and we'll all be fine.

"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz



Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland
Member Since: 13th May 2004
Total posts: 3882
Posted:sending thoughts your way

hug hug hug

Love is the law.



Location: Netherlands
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 465
Posted:Never met you,
never saw you.
Still you have my thoughts.

It's very tragic, but I'm glad that you got the chance to talk to her before she passed away.

Hmm, there's gotta be something round and shiny, I can play with



Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:any words I can come up with are worthless... so:
hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug


Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!



Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland
Member Since: 16th Jul 2004
Total posts: 15
Posted:ubbcrying ubbcrying ubbcrying hug hug hug
... thinking of you,

Non-Https Image Link

take care

Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...



Location: melbourne, victoria, australia
Member Since: 2nd Nov 2004
Total posts: 2084
Posted:I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm so sorry that you lost your sister.
Take care of yourself, it's easy to forget to when you're grieving.

Again, I'm so sorry.



Super Gidg!!!!
Location: Portland Oregon USA
Member Since: 11th Apr 2003
Total posts: 8506
Posted:Through your greaving you can be happy about one thing, you were able to tell her "I love you" before she left.

My prayers are with you and your family hug hug

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.




old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany
Member Since: 25th Aug 2004
Total posts: 863
Posted:ubbcrying I wished I could do something to make you feel better; life forces us to go through such things....
I send you all love and strenght I have, hug hug hug hug hug hug

What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.



Lambretta Fanatic

Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 4991
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug


"To be an angel, one need not have wings.
In giving love there is an equal grace.
Nor need one seek the aura in the face,
As love unveils the beauty of all things."

*Francois Couperin.



Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: "In your ear"
Member Since: 9th Jun 2003
Total posts: 6207
Posted:there is no smile, that can help here arsn,

all you have is cast to the wind at the moment, but there is love all round you, and hope in that love.

at least you got to tell yoru sister how you felt for her, and how she felt for you

im sorry for your loss my friend, but she is not nor never will be gone, she will always be with you and with you forever

Step (el-nombrie)


Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:hug hug2 hug hug2 hug

You brought tears to my eyes as well.

hug hug2 hug hug2 hug

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...



Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings
Member Since: 2nd Jan 2004
Total posts: 4172



Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...
Member Since: 1st Sep 2004
Total posts: 2719
Posted:I'd like to say I don't know what you're going through, but I'm kinda close...

My mum and I had an argument the night before I was due to go to Barcalona for a week. It was about a damn suitcase of all things. She and Dad were due to go to greece in a couple of days. We shouted, I was a f***ing tw*t to her. I went to Barca, she went to greece, about 4 hours after landing she suffered a massive heart attack and died on the spot. I never got the chance to say goodbye. I still dont know whether or not I said sorry for that argument, or if we made up at all.

Arsn. You are not alone. Your tragedy is that this is so close to Christmas.

My thoughts are with you...

hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug



The Real Fryed Fish
God's illgitament son
Location: state of confusion
Member Since: 2nd Jun 2004
Total posts: 1489
Posted:You have the prayers of a stranger my your sister forever walk with the angels........

Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions, and their answers would determine wheather they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was "Did you bring joy?" The second question was "Did you find joy?" (quote from Leo Buscaglia)

I believe your sisters answer for both would be yes........hug

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too



Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There
Member Since: 6th Apr 2002
Total posts: 6140
Posted:hug hug2 hug

Thank you for sharing this, i know it must have been hard. It has really made me think about my own sister and mine relationship.

hug2 hug hug2

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...



Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:frown hug

Getting to the other side smile



Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
Member Since: 21st Nov 2003
Total posts: 1389
Posted:hug You and your family are in my thoughts....

~ Bobo

wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier


Skinny poi maker
Location: Moscow, Russia
Member Since: 12th Feb 2004
Total posts: 313
Posted:Though I dont know you in personal

No words. Words cant express. Hold on...


Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:hug frown

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura



Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales
Member Since: 12th Aug 2004
Total posts: 8428
Posted:frown hug

I believe that when people die their essence is not lost into the ether, but is absorbed into the people that loved them and carried by those people until they themselves die. It is, in turn, passed on as part of those peoples essences to the people that love them. It's a continuous cycle.

It sounds to me as if your sister was much loved and her essence will be carried by many.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!



Keeper of the Spitfire
Location: Calgary Canada
Member Since: 24th Oct 2003
Total posts: 2317
Posted:ubbcrying ubbcrying
Arsn, I'm so sorry to hear.
My thoughts are with you.
hug hug

Lets steal a spaceship and head for the sun, and shoot the stars with a lemonade ray gun.


My hairs on fire
My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 515
Posted:Words cant describe what ide like to say...

Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

Hope all is well : )


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