• All Purchases made this month instantly go into the draw to win a USD $ 200.00 credit to your HoP account.
 

Forums > Social Chat > Relationships or freedom?

Login/Join to Participate
Page: 12345
PsychoTronic
stranger
Location: Greece-Samos-Athens
Member Since: 1st Jun 2004
Total posts: 80
Posted:hello I am PsyTron and I am clean ubbrollsmile
I was in relationship the last 5 years of my life(i am 23-24 now) with 3 different people.Normally I thought that there is not any other kind of relationship except serious ones.(when I say serious i do not mean marriage).I broke up with my last boyfriend one month ago.We were together for 2 years.We were practicaly living together.This relationship, i knew it was making me weak:( too much pressure.Here is a song that I like and I have never listened to the lyrics until now... and i think it sais a lot of what i want to say:
here's my life and here's my way
and here's my body here's my pain
meet my mother see my train
get on get on get on get on

walk with me in my strange life
I've no things to show and no things to hide
life is fair and this blooming game
will go on and on and on

this possession never was a question
a healer for this tension
tenderness and pressure
from my warnings all you got was your needs
all you did was promise
you were only fake

little by little touch by touch
our eyes grew cold our hands grew rough
little by little losing touch
hello hello hello hello

failed in trust got sunk in pain
obsessed with love and clouds and rain
lives collapse and this [censored] game
goes on and on and on



the last 4 lines are what i really know from my experience.
In this time of my life I do not want to have any relationship.I have someone that we talk and we sleep together but I do not want anything more.Enough is enough redface

so what do you think???


"For once there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes,
a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream, a land where all things are perfect and poisonous."
"Put out the torches! Hide the moon! Hide the stars!"



Delete Topic

dj_retro
dj_retro

member
Location: Oklahoma, USA
Member Since: 7th Jun 2002
Total posts: 87
Posted:i know, but ive backed off, we are friends and i dont get to see her much anymore. bah! we both know how we feel about each other...i let her know right fromthe beging so that there was not misunderstandings. but thats all good...ill just enjoy being single untill she turns around and see that im telling her the truth with my feelings or i find someone else.

<( ' ' )>
Fear the Kirby

Delete

Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:what else can you do, just dont let her get further away

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

Delete

roarfire
roarfire

comfortably numb
Location: The countryside
Member Since: 8th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2676
Posted:The guy I loved broke up with me last Christmas, he eventually moved on and I was stuck in rebound mode, which isn't a wise thing (too many regrets). We lasted 10 months and I've only jsut gotten fully over him within the last month or two so basically it took me about a year. We're still friends and stuff but I don't get all depressed and soppy when I speak to him, it was an ugly break up, but I just think of the good things.

Anyway, now that I've put that behind me and gotten over him, I've found myself in undecided situations. One moment I feel like going and having a random thing with someone, but then I think of the aftermath that can rise from....the next minute I find myself longing for affection and love and wishing that someone would actually come by who would take interest in me and I them....but all the hippie band like guys I tend to go for are either taken or too arrogant.

It sounds silly and I sound childish. "Guys aren't everything, you know" I'll expect in replies, but sometimes...I get grow weary of feeling lonely and find myself nearly sobbing everytime I watch the scene in Aladdin when they sing 'A whole new world'. Why is there no decent people in my town!

'Nuff said now, I've had my rant, and I apologise!

-cowers and crawls away into bed-


.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.

Delete

teejay_blue
teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 387
Posted:i know exactly wot u mean honey! ive been in the same situation! i really dont have an answer to u because i agree with guy thing, there all taken our arrogant!! there are sum really nice guys about, but i have no idea here!! affection is such an important part of life n it sucks wen theres a lack of it!!

[ahmet, ive decided im goin to marry u wen i grow up]


Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

Delete

My hairs on fire
My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 515
Posted:[ ubblove redface hug Awwww darlin love you too hehe! ubblove redface hug]





Relationships are a very funny thing arnt they people? Can make you the happiest being on the planet OR make you feel like the scum of all scum (which everyone of my past relationships have done frown) cause of this ive decided that the best thing for my mental health is to genrally stay away for a while so i can figure sum stuff out.

But i believe that there is someone out there for everyone, i refuse to believe that there wont be a perfect match for everyone somewhere in the world. Because if you believe that there isnt anyone then how sad would that be!

EDITED_BY: My hairs on fire (1103136608)


Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )

Delete

Good
member
Location: a mountaintop in Colorado
Member Since: 25th Sep 2003
Total posts: 55
Posted:We've got about a 5:1 ratio of guys to girls here...We have a saying, "The odds are good, but the goods are odd".

I was single for so long, and I got so used to it, that now that I met a guy I'm having a really hard time. We met at Burning Man, and he moves 1100 miles to be with me! I'm pretty freaked out, I keep pushing him away, being critical and mean! eekI hate myself for it, And he still likes me! I have to decide, he said, if I'll be his lover full-time or just a friend. We can't be friends that sleep together, he says. And I have to tell him which TONIGHT! A few things he does bother me (like not dressing appropriately for the cold weather!) (and listening to cheesy music) but he's sweet, gentle and he's totally into me! I'm overwhelmed! I think I'll go with the LOVER option, can't I always back out if it's too much trouble? I totally forgot how much work a relationship takes! confusedBut I've been looking forward to one for so long! How can I stop my instinct to RUN? Please send suggestions!


take the schneak-tip

Delete

My hairs on fire
My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 515
Posted:Sounds to me like ur afraid to get close to anyone...
This guy obviously thinks the world of you, just try an realise when a good thing comes along caue otherwise you will be kicking you ass for missing the opportunity.


Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )

Delete

OrangeBobo
OrangeBobo

veteran
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
Member Since: 21st Nov 2003
Total posts: 1389
Posted:Good when you find out, let me know eh??

No, but I'm facing kinda the same problem. It's all inside of me. I have to decide whether or not I want to let someone that close to me. I think it's really stressful, because to open yourself up to someone like that... If something went wrong, it would hurt so bad.

but that's a risk we all have to make, isn't it?

~ Bobo


wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier

Delete

Bretch
Bretch

enthusiast
Location: Cork, Ireland at present
Member Since: 19th Nov 2004
Total posts: 247
Posted:I haven't read all this thread, but my input... I've been burnt and I've burned, all of which hurt a hell of a lot, but has defined who I am today. I'm now in a fairly new relationship (which I dived head-first in to shrug ), and sh*t scared she's gonna one day say, see ya, or like wise I might. But, life, for me, is about experience, good and the bad, why not take a big risk to get a great reward - and you don't wait for the reward... just potential pain, nights of crying or sudden bursts of tears at work, drinking way too much, not smiling for at least 2 weeks and punching everyone censored that says there's plenty more fish in the sea.... oh and not eating so a mass weight loss.. which could be positive for some biggrin

I used to be indecisive, but I'm not so sure now.....

Delete

Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:thats always a toughie, i dont know if it was stupid of me but i liked the girl i like for some insane amount of time(like 3 years) before i actually bothered to tell her. in the mean time considering all the afore mentioned problems, now i'm certain, fortunatly i think i was just lucky because we're both young and not exactly going anywhere except school atm. must be much harder for you adults who have to focus on getting by as well!

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

Delete

PsychoTronic
stranger
Location: Greece-Samos-Athens
Member Since: 1st Jun 2004
Total posts: 80
Posted:i forgot to say that the guy I am (kind of) with told me I am not sexy and I cannot turn him on.Well I do not try... because I cannot be cool with him.He is not good in turning me on eather.The question is what the fu.... is he doing with me since we have a sleeping together relationship and we do not have sex...I really really do not understand that.Moreover I think that he is a jerk but I am not really sure.He said to me that If I was a godess and if I was very hot I could turn him on... he made me feel real bad.The image I have for me now is the worst.My friends and my ex boyfriends are saying that he is nothing! I shouldnt listen to him.The truth is that I never had that kind of problems and he told me that he used to have problems in sex in the past many times.How can he be such an [censored] to try making me feel bad for something that is not even my mistake.
What do you think????? Do you think that this is my problem or his??? Should I listen to him or just ignore him???Or hit him???? mad


"For once there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes,
a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream, a land where all things are perfect and poisonous."
"Put out the torches! Hide the moon! Hide the stars!"



Delete

My hairs on fire
My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 515
Posted:Ignor him darlin! you ARE a godess and make sure you keep telling your self that hug. If you have a ''sleeping together relationship'' but dont actually sleep together and this guy is a complete jerk and wast of time why are you stioll in contact with him?
Your obviously upset about things at the moment so just tell this guy to [censored] off and listen to the people who care about you!
I hope you start to feel better soon,
Ahmet x


Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )

Delete

Good
member
Location: a mountaintop in Colorado
Member Since: 25th Sep 2003
Total posts: 55
Posted:Aw, Psychotronic, that guy's bringin' you down! Save yourself from his verbal abuse right away! What ARE you getting out of the relationship? He needs a shrink! (Well, so do i, but...) Your guy makes me more certain I should stick with my fella a bit longer! (thanks) Your friends are right- anyone you're willing to share yourself with ought to see you as the Godess we know you are! Go have a nice dinner and make love to yourself! (can I say that here?) devil

take the schneak-tip

Delete

Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:definatly psychotronic, dump the loser, never talk to him again, stick with people who like you for who you are, not who they want you to be!

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

Delete

Wild Child
Wild Child

Star Trekker
Location: Cheshire
Member Since: 2nd Sep 2004
Total posts: 1733
Posted:He's a jerk - no self-esteem so he try's to get it by knocking you. Just hold on to the thought that he doesn't do it for you so why the heck should you feel bad about not doing it for him? Get out babe - now! hug

'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus

Delete

Bretch
Bretch

enthusiast
Location: Cork, Ireland at present
Member Since: 19th Nov 2004
Total posts: 247
Posted:Well I'm sorry, but i think it is your problem, for listening to the censored . Tell him to go censored himself ... as he can't get it any other way, and say that you'll be doing the same as he can't give it biggrin . Sure, that'll only swell his problem, but then thats his problem eh!?!? ubblol

You need a good hug... so here's mine... hug


I used to be indecisive, but I'm not so sure now.....

Delete

Wild Child
Wild Child

Star Trekker
Location: Cheshire
Member Since: 2nd Sep 2004
Total posts: 1733
Posted:It's so easy to get into that trap of feeling you're at fault cos some censored doesn't want you but once you realise that you don't want them it's easy to dismiss them and get out cos it's right for you, not him hug

'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus

Delete

Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:"to be loved is grand, to be prefered is what i desire"

totally off what you guys are talking bout, but its a good point, to be loved you should be desired, aka, they want to be with you, maybe moreso than they already are. this is what makes a strong bond. i think its what makes relationships last, a while ago the girl i liked said we'd be friends forever and i can see that happening at the moment cause any time i get to spend with her i think is good time.


"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

Delete

WryTerra
WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham
Member Since: 13th Jan 2003
Total posts: 912
Posted:Written by: Borath

I seem to find myself getting into my best relationships (all 2 of them out of too many) by complete accident, when I'm not looking for one or am making a new friend and it just surprisingly evolves in a different direction.




Yeah funny how that happened, very glad it did though. smile And that very happy that it did I guess is my comment on the thread. Simple really smile

Written by: Borath

Great sex on top of that is just a big bonus. biggrin



*ahem* Oh my, well, urm... wink devil


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

Delete

Borath
Borath

member
Location: Cheltenham, England
Member Since: 2nd Dec 2004
Total posts: 64
Posted:Oh you know you love it. ;p

It is very novel and very pleasing to get the best of both worlds. I have too many friends who are just 'maintaining' in a relationship because of the physical, or are just in it for the physical and things are getting messier and messier on the side.


I can't be evil; I'm wearing pink.

Delete

Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:thats what s***s me the most about relationships. thats the situation where freedom is wayyyyy better in the end.

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

Delete

Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:Written by: OrangeBobo

I have more trouble deciding whether to take a risk, follow my feeling, instead of sitting down, thinking it through, and letting my sensible side come out. Trying to do that right now....



Then let me share something, Bobobobobobo...

Three of my best friends are 48, 54, and 75 (are you getting that I have friends of all ages?).

So when Eric came along, I got scared. I didn't want to get into a relationship because I'm leaving for points far away in June and I was afraid of how such a relationship might have to end.

So I asked all three of them one night while we were out to dinner and then left to pee. When I came back Jay (54) said this:

"Mike, the three of us talked about this and we all agree that the only regrets we really have in our lives are opportunities that we didn't take because our brains got in the way of our hearts."

And so I'm going after him.

And you should go after him, too. Go gett'im, girl!

hug


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

Delete

Wild Child
Wild Child

Star Trekker
Location: Cheshire
Member Since: 2nd Sep 2004
Total posts: 1733
Posted:Written by: ...Lightning...


"Mike, the three of us talked about this and we all agree that the only regrets we really have in our lives are opportunities that we didn't take because our brains got in the way of our hearts."





Amen to that! hug


'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus

Delete

Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:sure you would use your brain *hits self in head*

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

Delete

OrangeBobo
OrangeBobo

veteran
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
Member Since: 21st Nov 2003
Total posts: 1389
Posted:Aww, Mike, you're such a sweetie, really.... hughughug

Problem is, the one thing I haven't meantioned (and the reason I've had to think about it so much) is..... he's my host brother. He isn't related to me, so it's not incest or anything, but still, why do I gotta get in a position like this!!! Bah, things can never be normal.

And he doesn't live here. I only get to see him... for a weekend/holidays when he comes up (350km away frown)

But it's something both of us have to decide, I think. He said it is up to me, but it involves him, and I want him to have a say in what happens. But after only talking to eachother on msn everyday... and on the phone twice... I think it will happen. I don't want to loose our happieness now, because I am too worried about leaving in the future. I want to be haaapppppyyyy!

Just might be awkward for a bit... I don't know what will happen, telling my family or not, and what we'll say/do. Thenagain, they probably know (last time he was here we were really close).

And he comes in two days biggrin It used to be two weeks!!! *is everso patiently waiting...*

Does that make a bit more sence as to why my head was getting in the way a lot more?? I think there is a lot more at risk, with it being my family and all...and if one of us were to get really hurt somehow... But... living is a risk, isn't it? hug

~ Bobo


wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier

Delete

Wild Child
Wild Child

Star Trekker
Location: Cheshire
Member Since: 2nd Sep 2004
Total posts: 1733
Posted:and the biggest risk is missing out on a good thing - but you're right, there's far more to consider in your position. Good luck hug

'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus

Delete

Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:Like I said, these three men have a collective 96 years of experience on me. I can't argue with that.

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

Delete

NYC
NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:Written by: ...Lightning...

Like I said, these three men have a collective 96 years of experience on me. I can't argue with that.



I don't know if I buy this "Collective years of experience"... I mean, George Bush and Dick Chaney have a few years on all of us.

Fortunately, it sounds like good advice. ubblove

The way I see it, my logical mind's job is to give me the foundation and support so I can follow my heart.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Delete

OrangeBobo
OrangeBobo

veteran
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
Member Since: 21st Nov 2003
Total posts: 1389
Posted:1 day 1 day 1 day! biggrin

~ bobo


wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier

Delete

teejay_blue
teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 387
Posted:WOOOOOOO!!

IGNORE EVERY POST I ENTERED ON THIS THREAD!!!

i take back everything i sed on relationships!

i met a guy ubblove n i am totally head over heels for him!!

he is seriously lovely n cool n sweet n everything ever!!

wow, its all goin so fast, its so scary n but so cool!

sorry... ahem! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


love u all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ahmet, love u the most honey xxxxx]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

Delete

Page: 12345

Similar Topics

Using the keywords [relationship* freedom] we found the following similar topics.
1. Forums > Ethics vs. Relationships [34 replies]
2. Forums > Abusive Relationships - why? (and how to get out, please) [62 replies]
3. Forums > Relationships or freedom? [147 replies]
4. Forums > Relationships... a rant about people and their expectations [21 replies]
5. Forums > Your diet and your relationship... a potential conflict? [74 replies]

     Show more..