Forums > Social Chat > Irrational fear of important phone calls
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Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom
Posted:
I have to make a phone call now, which I've been putting off since 1pm, which will decide whether or not I'm going to be able to work over xmas. And I'm terrified. I'm not sure why, but phone calls like this scare the crap out of me. I'm fine when it's face-to-face, and I've tried that. I even sent a letter and 3 e-mails to avoid this phonecall, but to no avail.
What's the deal with being so afraid of the phone? It's not like I don;t use it, I just only use it to my friends and family. When I have to ring someone else I just get ridiculously scared! And it's not just me.. my girlfriend, at least, is the same about these things.
Anyone else experience this? Or have any good tips?
I have to make a phone call now, which I've been putting off since 1pm, which will decide whether or not I'm going to be able to work over xmas. And I'm terrified. I'm not sure why, but phone calls like this scare the crap out of me. I'm fine when it's face-to-face, and I've tried that. I even sent a letter and 3 e-mails to avoid this phonecall, but to no avail.
What's the deal with being so afraid of the phone? It's not like I don;t use it, I just only use it to my friends and family. When I have to ring someone else I just get ridiculously scared! And it's not just me.. my girlfriend, at least, is the same about these things.
Anyone else experience this? Or have any good tips?
What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
my mom used to actually make her children do these types of phone calls for her.
and I think the primary purpose of a secretary or personal assistant is to make these types of phone calls so their boss doesn't have to.
and frankly, I don't really like talking on the phone at all...
my mom used to actually make her children do these types of phone calls for her.
and I think the primary purpose of a secretary or personal assistant is to make these types of phone calls so their boss doesn't have to.
and frankly, I don't really like talking on the phone at all...
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Posted:
Ah i have this too! i hate using the phone if i have to speak to big scary people. Its got better after I did my work experince though, they stuck me on reception so i had to use the frigin' fone. Tips?...ermmm i think its jsut a case of getting used to it really
Aimz xx
Ah i have this too! i hate using the phone if i have to speak to big scary people. Its got better after I did my work experince though, they stuck me on reception so i had to use the frigin' fone. Tips?...ermmm i think its jsut a case of getting used to it really
Aimz xx
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom
Posted:
Grr.. I was right to be afraid. No money for me this christmas.
I think I need a secretary. Although getting a job would probably put me a step closer to that.
Maybe I should go carolling every night... if I'm good I could clean up! Right..? [/vain hope]
Grr.. I was right to be afraid. No money for me this christmas.
I think I need a secretary. Although getting a job would probably put me a step closer to that.
Maybe I should go carolling every night... if I'm good I could clean up! Right..? [/vain hope]
What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau
mikes bitch
387 posts
Location: manchester/northampton/where the wind blows
387 posts
Location: manchester/northampton/where the wind blows
Posted:
i hate it as well!! wot is it with that? i thought i was just weird [well i am a bit]
i hate it as well!! wot is it with that? i thought i was just weird [well i am a bit]
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,750 posts
Location: london, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,750 posts
Location: london, United Kingdom
Posted:
I hate phones, dont really know exactly why though. You have to plan what you are phoning for and you dont want to phone somone at the wrong time, and you dont want to sound like an idiot.
I NEVER LEAVE VOICE MESSAGES its just wierd, you are taliking to a machine its just odd.
I hate phones, dont really know exactly why though. You have to plan what you are phoning for and you dont want to phone somone at the wrong time, and you dont want to sound like an idiot.
I NEVER LEAVE VOICE MESSAGES its just wierd, you are taliking to a machine its just odd.
Never assume
Always Acknowledge
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK
Posted:
Me too - really don't like phones. Often even with friends. I think it's the lack of body language - verbal communication is only half the information 2 humans are used to sharing.
Me too - really don't like phones. Often even with friends. I think it's the lack of body language - verbal communication is only half the information 2 humans are used to sharing.
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
I agree, i dont like important phone calls too
When ever at work the phone would ring, i would suddenly become really busy else where...
I agree, i dont like important phone calls too
When ever at work the phone would ring, i would suddenly become really busy else where...
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
SILVER Member
....
344 posts
Location: Midlands - nr cov, United Kingdom
....
344 posts
Location: Midlands - nr cov, United Kingdom
Posted:
I don't like phones either. I'll call important people in my life, but not nearly often enough.
I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, i hope you can find something else over xmas that helps..
Lynne
I don't like phones either. I'll call important people in my life, but not nearly often enough.
I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, i hope you can find something else over xmas that helps..
Lynne
"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"
Dorothy Gale
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
I get this, too. Drives me nuts. I just push through it. Dialing's the hardest part.
I get this, too. Drives me nuts. I just push through it. Dialing's the hardest part.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom
Posted:
Thank god for mobile phones.. one button and it's all over.
It's a bit like Russian Roulette, really. Only less messy.
Thank god for mobile phones.. one button and it's all over.
It's a bit like Russian Roulette, really. Only less messy.
What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau
not a stranger
558 posts
Location: wales
558 posts
Location: wales
Posted:
Thank god I'm not the only one!
I hate making phone calls, I do everything possible to avoid it.
I hide if the phone rings. I leave it unplugged so it won't.
Phones really scare me.
So does meeting people and talking to them.
The computer's good, cos typing to people isn't too bad.
Look at all you nice people who I'm talking to!
Thank god I'm not the only one!
I hate making phone calls, I do everything possible to avoid it.
I hide if the phone rings. I leave it unplugged so it won't.
Phones really scare me.
So does meeting people and talking to them.
The computer's good, cos typing to people isn't too bad.
Look at all you nice people who I'm talking to!
Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
I even hate calling a friend when I don't know their parents that well! Cos I hate speaking to a parent who I don't know saying "can I speak to johhny". and I also hate it cos I answer the phone with "hello, bethany speaking", but most people don't! so i always worry I won't recognise the voice!
I even hate calling a friend when I don't know their parents that well! Cos I hate speaking to a parent who I don't know saying "can I speak to johhny". and I also hate it cos I answer the phone with "hello, bethany speaking", but most people don't! so i always worry I won't recognise the voice!
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
activist for HoPper liberation.
1,643 posts
Location: ffidrac
1,643 posts
Location: ffidrac
Posted:
Two things:
1/ am always really worried i've dialled the wrong number, i really really hate that awkward bit where everyone's really confused and starts talking all at the same time.
2/ i'm with dom on the lack of body language theory, it's hard to gauge anyone's reaction over the phone sometimes...
oh and a third... I always, always forget to say something very important thus confusing the person on the other end. and i get confused very easily too...
Two things:
1/ am always really worried i've dialled the wrong number, i really really hate that awkward bit where everyone's really confused and starts talking all at the same time.
2/ i'm with dom on the lack of body language theory, it's hard to gauge anyone's reaction over the phone sometimes...
oh and a third... I always, always forget to say something very important thus confusing the person on the other end. and i get confused very easily too...
Aurinko freedom agreement reached 10th Sept 2006
if it makes no sense that's because it's NOn-sense.
SILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
Posted:
I like the fact htat I can sit there totally naked on the phone and the other person doesnt have a clue...
I like the fact htat I can sit there totally naked on the phone and the other person doesnt have a clue...
BRONZE Member
old hand
1,107 posts
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Australia
old hand
1,107 posts
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Australia
Posted:
I hate it when you've gone to great lengths to describe who you are and what you want, only to be passed over to someone else and have to do it all over again.
Bring back smoke signals.
I hate it when you've gone to great lengths to describe who you are and what you want, only to be passed over to someone else and have to do it all over again.
Bring back smoke signals.
There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.
SILVER Member
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom
Posted:
In fact peeps, I have a true phobia about a nokia ringtone (not THE nokia ringtone thank god) It used to wake me up nearly every am with the landlady asking me for rent...
I say asking...
So much so I cant hear it now without the sweats... Its like Nylon Tights ans nails down a blackboard for me...
Anyways, I never make a phone call if its something important, I'll just put it off until the collections company lnock on the door...
In fact peeps, I have a true phobia about a nokia ringtone (not THE nokia ringtone thank god) It used to wake me up nearly every am with the landlady asking me for rent...
I say asking...
So much so I cant hear it now without the sweats... Its like Nylon Tights ans nails down a blackboard for me...
Anyways, I never make a phone call if its something important, I'll just put it off until the collections company lnock on the door...
ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
BRONZE Member
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted:
I don't like social conversations on the phone at all. Important calls are fine though - as long as there is no faffing about and the conversation gets straight to the point.
Socialising on the phone - different story. Until I got into email and forums, I used to be great for an hour long convo on the phone. However, now when a friend calls me, I generally do the "so, to what do I owe the pleasure/honour of this call?" type thing to get to the point of the call asap. I really am a visual creature and have become increasingly uncomfortable with the phone as a communication device.
I detest it even more when a friend calls me for a social chat, then expects me to do all the work and carry/develop the conversation! pfft.
My bestest friend in the whole wide world called me for my birthday last weekend, and I found the entire experience awkward and strange. The massive international delay didn't help, but I just didn't know what to say. I would rather spill my heart over an email or do the Messenger thing. Ultimately, I would prefer to see him face to face, but until Burning Man, that ain't gonna happen.
Maybe I'm becoming boring and have nothing to say anymore, and that's why I don't like phone conversations. ?
flash
I don't like social conversations on the phone at all. Important calls are fine though - as long as there is no faffing about and the conversation gets straight to the point.
Socialising on the phone - different story. Until I got into email and forums, I used to be great for an hour long convo on the phone. However, now when a friend calls me, I generally do the "so, to what do I owe the pleasure/honour of this call?" type thing to get to the point of the call asap. I really am a visual creature and have become increasingly uncomfortable with the phone as a communication device.
I detest it even more when a friend calls me for a social chat, then expects me to do all the work and carry/develop the conversation! pfft.
My bestest friend in the whole wide world called me for my birthday last weekend, and I found the entire experience awkward and strange. The massive international delay didn't help, but I just didn't know what to say. I would rather spill my heart over an email or do the Messenger thing. Ultimately, I would prefer to see him face to face, but until Burning Man, that ain't gonna happen.
Maybe I'm becoming boring and have nothing to say anymore, and that's why I don't like phone conversations. ?
flash
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SILVER Member
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom
Posted:
Flash you must have something to say,or else you wouldn't post anything but tosh...
Everyone has their own preferred method of communication, I prefer text or alternately f2f... I just hate the whole "are they naked on the other end of the line thing..."
Remind me never to call UCOF...
Flash you must have something to say,or else you wouldn't post anything but tosh...
Everyone has their own preferred method of communication, I prefer text or alternately f2f... I just hate the whole "are they naked on the other end of the line thing..."
Remind me never to call UCOF...
ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
Hot Schtuff
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
Posted:
I too have that problem. I'm with Pink...I would quickly act busy so I wouldn't have to answer a phone.
I think its because of not knowing who is on the other end of the line that scares me a bit. I won't answer my home phone either. Mostly because it is telemarketers and I don't like dealing with them. I've gotten used to answering the home phone, and I'm slowly getting used to answering the work phone. I think my problem with work phone calls is that I feel like I'm not as well off in advising somebody in what to do for their animal. Some of their questions are easy to answer and some are difficult and require me to go ask a vet. Plus at work you have to put up with some rude clients and you are supposed to remain polite and friendly to them. I have a problem witht that part. I would soon get tired of being nice to somebody while they were chewing me out for something that isn't my fault or anybody's fault.
One thing I've learned at work though....People are more protective of their animals than their own children!
I too have that problem. I'm with Pink...I would quickly act busy so I wouldn't have to answer a phone.
I think its because of not knowing who is on the other end of the line that scares me a bit. I won't answer my home phone either. Mostly because it is telemarketers and I don't like dealing with them. I've gotten used to answering the home phone, and I'm slowly getting used to answering the work phone. I think my problem with work phone calls is that I feel like I'm not as well off in advising somebody in what to do for their animal. Some of their questions are easy to answer and some are difficult and require me to go ask a vet. Plus at work you have to put up with some rude clients and you are supposed to remain polite and friendly to them. I have a problem witht that part. I would soon get tired of being nice to somebody while they were chewing me out for something that isn't my fault or anybody's fault.
One thing I've learned at work though....People are more protective of their animals than their own children!
RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.
SILVER Member
Member
82 posts
Location: Netherlands - Hengelo
Member
82 posts
Location: Netherlands - Hengelo
Posted:
But what is the scary part ? I'm always afraid to disturb something important on the other end of the line, and I hate disturbing people when they are minding there own business. But picking up the phone when it is ringing is no problem for me, I have a phone by my computer, so when the phone rings, I'm ussually the one that picks it up..
But what is the scary part ? I'm always afraid to disturb something important on the other end of the line, and I hate disturbing people when they are minding there own business. But picking up the phone when it is ringing is no problem for me, I have a phone by my computer, so when the phone rings, I'm ussually the one that picks it up..
Hij die zijn kind benzine voert moet niet roken als het boert.
Love you MyIng 
SILVER Member
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom
Posted:
Yup, thats it in a nutshell... As for telemarketers, I just say "Yeah...Yeah...Yeah...Dont want any, where did you get this number, did you know I could prosecute you and the company that sold you my details under the Data Protection Act?"
Works every time....
Apologies to any telemarketers out there, but I hate you
Written by: Nantheos
But what is the scary part ? I'm always afraid to disturb something important on the other end of the line, and I hate disturbing people when they are minding there own business.
Yup, thats it in a nutshell... As for telemarketers, I just say "Yeah...Yeah...Yeah...Dont want any, where did you get this number, did you know I could prosecute you and the company that sold you my details under the Data Protection Act?"
Works every time....
Apologies to any telemarketers out there, but I hate you
ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
member
66 posts
Location: Barnstaple, Devon, UK
66 posts
Location: Barnstaple, Devon, UK
Posted:
think the problem with ringng important people is that you could muck it up.
an e-mail or letter you can re-read and correct before they read it.
a phonecall is on the spot.....you are under pressure and because they are an important person you weorryt hat if you mess up then you are buggered.
simply put its the worry of screwing up as its 'live' and personal
think the problem with ringng important people is that you could muck it up.
an e-mail or letter you can re-read and correct before they read it.
a phonecall is on the spot.....you are under pressure and because they are an important person you weorryt hat if you mess up then you are buggered.
simply put its the worry of screwing up as its 'live' and personal
If hope can grow from dirt like me.....It can be done.
GOLD Member
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA
Posted:
I hate making calls or even talking to people after I did something wrong. If i forget to call into work on time when I am sick I end up waiting longer and longer just adding to the trouble. I wouldn't even go into the supermarket i quit working at for about a year after for some reason. I dunno it's strange but I can't help it.
I hate making calls or even talking to people after I did something wrong. If i forget to call into work on time when I am sick I end up waiting longer and longer just adding to the trouble. I wouldn't even go into the supermarket i quit working at for about a year after for some reason. I dunno it's strange but I can't help it.
Peace, Love, Circles
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
I know that feeling... it's building up so much expectations regarding my own behavior of this phonecall... such a huge wall to climb...
Breathing helps me - and meditation. Usually it's just my head that's creating this kind of excitement, there is not much behind it. Sometimes though it's a precognition of something coming along.
I try to accept it both ways - and put it in the universe's hands whether or not "it's meant to be". Might be coined as kind of a religious/spiritual/philosophical attempt but well... kindof like: "Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck..." (by HHtDL)
I know that feeling... it's building up so much expectations regarding my own behavior of this phonecall... such a huge wall to climb...
Breathing helps me - and meditation. Usually it's just my head that's creating this kind of excitement, there is not much behind it. Sometimes though it's a precognition of something coming along.
I try to accept it both ways - and put it in the universe's hands whether or not "it's meant to be". Might be coined as kind of a religious/spiritual/philosophical attempt but well... kindof like: "Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck..." (by HHtDL)
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
SILVER Member
newbie
27 posts
Location: Slovenia
newbie
27 posts
Location: Slovenia
Posted:
I've always had problems with answering the phone and even more problems with dialing. I'm just terrified of it.
I'm also terrified of answering the door, although they're made of glass and I can see who it is from my living room. I hate talking to strangers about important things and stuff I have no clue about. Oh, and Italians - we get lots of 'em here looking for Caves of Postojna (Postonjska jama) or thinking we run a restaurant and I can't understant a word they say.
I hate talking to strangers, especially if I can't see them. Talking to friends is easier (unless it's the oh-so-pretty girl I like). I'm a quiet and shy person by nature and I think I'm suffering from a mild case of social phobia. I let my mom do the calling for me if possible (libraries mostly) despite the fact I turned 19.
Plus I get into lots of awkward situations (with female friends if I'm lucky *sarcasm*) because I'm unable to start a conversation. And I'm terrible at saying happy birthday to good friends - I delay it 'till it's too late and than I feel really bad. Oh well ... gotta call mom to tell her to call library and get me some books.
I've always had problems with answering the phone and even more problems with dialing. I'm just terrified of it.
I'm also terrified of answering the door, although they're made of glass and I can see who it is from my living room. I hate talking to strangers about important things and stuff I have no clue about. Oh, and Italians - we get lots of 'em here looking for Caves of Postojna (Postonjska jama) or thinking we run a restaurant and I can't understant a word they say.
I hate talking to strangers, especially if I can't see them. Talking to friends is easier (unless it's the oh-so-pretty girl I like). I'm a quiet and shy person by nature and I think I'm suffering from a mild case of social phobia. I let my mom do the calling for me if possible (libraries mostly) despite the fact I turned 19.
Plus I get into lots of awkward situations (with female friends if I'm lucky *sarcasm*) because I'm unable to start a conversation. And I'm terrible at saying happy birthday to good friends - I delay it 'till it's too late and than I feel really bad. Oh well ... gotta call mom to tell her to call library and get me some books.
GOLD Member
Teacher, Dancer, Artist, and General Smartass
149 posts
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Teacher, Dancer, Artist, and General Smartass
149 posts
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Posted:
ok follow me on this...
My mom told me about some article she read that talked about business people who have the same kind of anxiety, and they gave an example of a woman executive who would secretly wear a tiara on important phone calls-- to make her feel confident. A crown isn't really my style, but I've used the same strategy sometimes, whatever makes me feel confident or powerful or whatever. I like heels or boots, myself.
ok follow me on this...
My mom told me about some article she read that talked about business people who have the same kind of anxiety, and they gave an example of a woman executive who would secretly wear a tiara on important phone calls-- to make her feel confident. A crown isn't really my style, but I've used the same strategy sometimes, whatever makes me feel confident or powerful or whatever. I like heels or boots, myself.
SILVER Member
Rum-Swilling Combustioneer
227 posts
Location: Macungie, PA, USA
Rum-Swilling Combustioneer
227 posts
Location: Macungie, PA, USA
Posted:
I used to get the shakes if I had to make any phone call at all, never mind an important one. There was a girl I fancied in high school, every time I called her I'd wind up under a blanket shivering because my body temperature dropped so low - even in summer, even if we talked for hours!
I've mellowed out since then but I can still put off important calls for hours or days... The worst, though, is when you finally get the pluck to make the call and you expect to spend the first couple rings preparing your opening line, and they pick up RIGHT AWAY. As though they were telepathically preying on your trepidation and waiting for you to call so they could pounce on your fear before you can react. That's the worst.
I used to get the shakes if I had to make any phone call at all, never mind an important one. There was a girl I fancied in high school, every time I called her I'd wind up under a blanket shivering because my body temperature dropped so low - even in summer, even if we talked for hours!
I've mellowed out since then but I can still put off important calls for hours or days... The worst, though, is when you finally get the pluck to make the call and you expect to spend the first couple rings preparing your opening line, and they pick up RIGHT AWAY. As though they were telepathically preying on your trepidation and waiting for you to call so they could pounce on your fear before you can react. That's the worst.
Bouncing Baby Pipe!
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
When I get to Oztrellia and call you, so help me God, if you pull that line on me, I'll...
...I'll get those pointy bra pics from Malcolm and hack the site and make them the site background!
Written by :flash fire
However, now when a friend calls me, I generally do the "so, to what do I owe the pleasure/honour of this call?" type thing to get to the point of the call asap.
When I get to Oztrellia and call you, so help me God, if you pull that line on me, I'll...
...I'll get those pointy bra pics from Malcolm and hack the site and make them the site background!
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
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