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mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 387

1. You go mad when somebody who is not from Manchester says 'mad fer it',"Nobody says that EVER!" you scream.

2. You say 'mad fer it' when back in Manchester.

3. You think fisherman's hats are attractive.

4. You support Man City out of principle.

5. You see Coronation Street stars all the time and think nothing of it.

6. You think Londoners are 'soft southern wankers'... until they kick your head in at a footie match.

7. You get a freckle and consider yourself 'sun-tanned'

8. You deny that it rains all the time.. as you struggle home with the shopping in yet another torrential downpour.

9. You won't pay more than 1.50 for a wrap of skag.

10. People start yawning when you talk about how great Manchester is.


1. You say 'mate' constantly.

2. You think it is perfectly normal to pay over 3.00 for a pint.

3. Anyone not from London is 'w*nker'. 4. Anyone from outside London and north of the Watford Gap is a 'Northern W*nker'.

5. You have no idea where the North is.

6. You see All Saints in the Bar Med (again) and find it hard to get excited about it.

7. The countryside makes you nervous.

8. Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are a stalker.

9. American tourists no longer annoy you.

10. You talk in postcodes. "God, it was really warm round SW1 the other day".

11. You can't remember the last time you got up to 30 mph in your car..

12. You didn't realise that 'Paddington Green' is REAL.

13. You pay 2.95 for a frigging caramel frigging crapachino Starbuck muck coffee


1. You have an urge to steal.

2. You think Brookside is a 'glamorous' soap.

3. You think Hollyoaks is 'posh'.

4. You keep going on about how great Liverpool and Scousers are.

5. To you, organised crime is putting petrol in the getaway car.

6. You start to cry when you hear 'Ferry cross the Mersey'.

7. You think anyone from Liverpool has a great sense of humour.

8. You often wonder why you don't hear of many Scouse comedians any more.

9. You think everyone's heard of Greg Pateras

10. You start thinking that Plymouth sounds nice.


1. You say 'pish' all the time.

2. You say 'aye' all the time.

3. You end sentences with 'like' i.e. 'I'm no goin' there, like, it's pish'.

4. You think McEwans beer is great, ignoring the fact it 'tastes of pish like'.

5. You get an urge to punch everybody you meet.

6. You punch everybody you meet.

7. You get drunk before, after and during punching everybody you meet..

8. You are incomprehensible.

9. People seem to be scared of you when you say where you are from.

10. You automatically get the urge to kill on hearing the words 'Edinburgh' or 'England'.

11. You have heart disease aged 26 due to all deep-fried pizzas you have consumed since birth.

12. You don't wash.


1. You say "I'm Grand" all the time.

2. You think of Guinness as if it is the sixth food group.

3. You disagreed with 2. - Guinness is the FIRST food group.

4. You're pale and white... yet compared to others your suntan looks good.

5. You say "Are you Grand ?" all the time.

6. You say "Isn't it grand" all the time.

7. You say "That'd be grand" all the time.

8. You can pronounce names like Eoghan, Niamh and Siobhan.

9. You take 4 hours to get home on a Saturday night and think nothing of it.

10. You don't eat anything cold, uncooked or not resembling meat, bread or potatoes

11. You say "Your man" all the time.

12. You say "Your woman" all the time.

13. You say "It's grand that your man asked if I'm grand" all the time.

14. You say "In any ways" all the time.

15. You find yourself still living with family and having your dinners cooked by someone's mammy - at 30.

16. You talk about 'dinners' and 'mammys'.


1. You are still there.

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.


mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 387
Posted:sorry its so long, dont worry if u get bored!!

oh yer, n before ne1 shouts at me, i dont mean to offend anyone!!!! [ppl r soooo PC on here]

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

Lillie Frog
Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales
Member Since: 31st May 2004
Total posts: 558
Posted:I went through Northampton a couple of weeks ago.

There is a horrible road with too many lanes, too many islands and not enough signs pointing to where you want to go. But too many signs pointing to other places.


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:Um, does 'skag' mean the same thing over there as it does here? If so, heroin is REAL CHEAP in Manchester!

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw
Member Since: 27th Oct 2004
Total posts: 566
Posted:lol Shhhhhhhhh Xopher we are not supposed to talk about that

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

activist for HoPper liberation.
Location: ffidrac
Member Since: 23rd Jun 2004
Total posts: 1643
Posted:Written by: teejay_blue


1. You are still there.

awww... they is mean to cardiff, it's a multicultural melting pot.
Example: i say "I'm grand", "aye" and I've heard of a hollyoaks character being seen in the vicinity..... does that mean it combines all the worst bits of every place or all the great bits? which makes Cardiff, absolutely FANTABULOUS!!!!!!

ooh i can also apply this one from manchester:
7. You get a freckle and consider yourself 'sun-tanned'

none from london though... but who'd want to live there anyhoo... biggrin wink

Aurinko freedom agreement reached 10th Sept 2006

if it makes no sense that's because it's NOn-sense.


Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...
Member Since: 1st Sep 2004
Total posts: 2719
Bloody scousers...

Q. What do you call a scouser in a suit?
A. The Accused!

I live across the water from em, my g/f lives there, damn it my best mate is one! Still youve got to laugh...



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