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My hairs on fire


My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus

Total posts: 515
Posted:Hey everyone,
Ide like to start by saying i realise this isnt the ideal place to talk about such matters but at the moment i really dont have anyone to talk about this with and need some kind of imput.
Over the past 5 months ive up an left everything iver ever know in the attempt to start a new life 3000 miles away from what i still and undoutably still call home.
Over this time ive felt myslef become less and less interested in the subject that i used to have such strong interest in. Have found myslef being overly supseptiable to other peoples comments and letting them get to me (and no im not smoking weed befor anyone asks). Have found mysellf putting someone up on a pedistal in the hope that they would fix all. I constantly doubt myself and my worth. Have found my studys have gone drastically down hill and can no longer concertrate or focus, well the list goes on.
I went to see a counceler today and she believes that i am suffering from signs of deppression.
After spending the last few hours reshearching on the net i can see where she is coming from as i seem to match many of the symptoms, most of which i havent even touched apon.
I found one web site called thinkyourselfhappy.com that seems to make alot of sence and ile be trying many things that have been mentioned on there.
My question to you all is have you ever suffered from deppresion and what have you done to get yourself back to normal? Well not so much normall but what have you found has helped?
Well i hope all is well and i look forward to checking this thread soon,
Bye all.


Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )

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Lillie Frog


Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:Hello.

I'm sorry to hear that you have been feeling so down.

In answer to your question I have suffered from depression most of my life.
Sometimes it's bad and other times not so bad.
I think in some cases it is entirley possible to 'think yourself happy'.

I would like to ask if you have been depressed before.
For myself I have always been like that, and looking back to when I was small I can see it even then. So probably for me it is a brain chemistry thing which is only aggravated by circumstances.
If you have not been depressed previous to this then it would seem logical to suppose it is entirely your circumstances that are making you depressed.
The obvious answer to this is to change the things that are making you unhappy.
I know from another thread that you have been having girlfriend troubles, and of course there are some circumstances you cannot change at will, like making someone want to go out with you. However you should consider changing anything you can, perhaps even going back to where ever you call home, wether it is for a visit or something more permanent.

Also, many people get depressed at this time of year, S.A.D. and Xmas etc. so perhaps it is something that might lift itself as the year turns.

I also think you should also take any help or advice the counsellor is giving you.

I really hope you are feeling happier soon.

hug


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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inimeG26
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

stranger
Location: Chico, CA, USA

Total posts: 4
Posted:I know what you're going through. A year and a half ago I was living in New Jersey, going to school, and I was miserable. I started to hate work, my grades were slipping, and I was just generally unhappy. For me it was entirely the setting that I was in, so I changed it. I took a vacation, went out to California to visit my brother, and knew immediately that that's where I belong. Two months later I moved to Northern California and I've never been happier.

Like Lillie Frog said, you need to figure out what it is that's making you unhappy and do whatever you have to do to change it. It might be a good idea to take a vacation back "home" and see how that makes you feel. It can be incredibly difficult to try and figure out just what "home" is, especially if you've lived in one place your entire life.
It won't always be this bad, and there is always support available when you need it.


"i always wanted to be commander in chief of my one-woman army" ~ani difranco

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stickman


World Champ Procrastinator
Location: ||...lost...||

Total posts: 580
Posted:im really sorry to hear you fell like this

is there anything in particular you can put your finger on and say "this is what makes me unhappy or this is what makes me happy?" if so, either try to change those things that make you unhappy and keep close and dear the things that make you happy.. if not, try to find those things, and then try to change or keep them close..

honestly i cant say ive ever really been depressed, but i can say that i have also lost interest in a lot of hobbies that used to keep me occupied for hours on end, and i have had periods of weeks where i just dont want to see or talk to anybody, not even my closest friends.. however, i found that when the latter happens, it often is the best solution to tell those you love how you feel, and maybe they can help you figure out if its anything specific.. perhaps it is the fact that you moved away from "home" and are in a new environment that conflicts with your tastes and personality..

however, i also think it is possible to "think yourself happy" in the sense that you find something that you enjoy doing or someone you enjoy being around, and then think about why those things make you happy..

just thought of this.. could it possibly be that it has something to do with insecurity? from what i gather youre not so insecure tho if youre willing to share this on a forum with hundreds of strangers.

I truly hope you feel better soon.. *sends loads of positive energy to My Hairs on Fire*
hug hug hug hug hug hug


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My hairs on fire


My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus

Total posts: 515
Posted:Thanq everyone for the kind comments, positive energy and of course hugs smile

I have felt down befor (who hassent) but never like i do at the moment. What you have all said has made alot of sence to me.
I understood befor i left that settleing into a tottaly differnt place wasent going to be easy but i never imagend that i could feel like i do.
One of my major propblems is that i cant speak about this to any of my family members as i know how hard they are trying to make this move work.
Ive had a lot of women trouble not only recently but always to tell the truth, but ive reached the decion that if i basically cant say goodbye or cope with the loss of a partner i shouldent say hello in the first place. Life is too short.
Ile happily admit that im not a very secure person, but i feel that there are a lot of very good hearted people in this community and the fact that everyone is willing to listen has lead me to bring this up.
I went back ''home'' for a week a while ago and will be going back again in jaunary. As soon as i entered the country i instantly felt at ease. Ive been thinking about returning home but cant stand the thought of only seeing my lil bro an sis once of twice a year for a week or so, plus the amount of hurt ide cause my parents would kill me.
Im trying to introduce some new things into my life an trying my best to keep my mind busy, its just when i stop that all these thoughts come flooding back.
I have at least made progress with my counceler and although im finding it very difficult to explain how im feeling i do feel its helping...problem shared is a problem divided or sumthin like that.
Well thanq again everyone.
Hope all is well smile


Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:I think one of the hardest lessons I've learned in life is that 'home' isn't a physical place that you go to or live in. 'Home' has to be inside you. You have to be at home with yourself to be truely happy and content.

Yes, sure places and people around you can get you down and being in another place can make life easier but as long as you have this feeling of home and contentment inside you, you can go anywhere you like and still feel secure and happy.

Its not easy. I'm still working on it and I'm 37 ubblol A wise person told me long ago 'The only person you live your whole life with is yourself, so you better get to liking who you are or you'll be unhappy all your days.'


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Written by: Skulduggery


as long as you have this feeling of home and contentment inside you, you can go anywhere you like and still feel secure and happy.







That makes a lot of sense. Thanks Skul smile . I'll think about that all day now.



I have depression and I've had the symmptoms for about 6 years now, as far as I'm aware. I had a very happy shildhood but my teenage years were hell. I'm 21 now and things are a little easier. I'm at university and am finding it really hard to settle down, although it's my second year.



I think deep down I know that whatever happens, it's not going to ruin me. That's how I live my life, from day to day. In most circumstances, the worst thing that could happen is I could lose some money here or there, in which case I'd just have to give up some of my social life and get a job, or I'll fail uni and I'd just have to get any non-graduate job... I know that I can survive. If the worst comes to the worst I could go stay with friends or even my parents. To think this really calms me down and makes me be rational, which is the thing I find hardest when I'm feeling low. Everything seems like the end of the world.



But it's not, and we're here, and we're alive. I tried to invent something to help me feel better a few weeks back, with a little bit of success.. I just thought, I'm alive, and bad stuff will happen to me, but I might as well have a smile on my face while it does. Even if I end up on the street with all my loved ones gone, I'd still be here, still be a human, still have my thoughts and still be able to look at the clouds.



It's simplistic but if you're brave and strong enough to move 3000 miles and cope at all for 6 months (which I know I couldn't), you're a strong and independant person, and I have a lot of respect for you. You should continue to see a councellor, it really really helps to tell someone all your darkest thoughts. It's like a colonic irrigation for your psyche. And consider anti-depressants, if they're offered to you, as they can help your therapy work a lot better.



I really hope you feel better soon, and many people do feel better when depression comes on them like this. Those who don't learn to cope with depression better and better as they go through life. It's all about learning a new routine, and having coping strategies ready when that routine changes or fails. But don't give up. Like I say, you seem like a strong person, and it's good that you've got as far as going to a councellor for the first time. Don't stop now!



hug hug hug


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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teejay_blue


teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...

Total posts: 387
Posted:if u've taken the step of goin to counsellor, ur half way to gettin back on track. i am such a firm believer on 'thinkin urself happy'

my parents n friends are wonderful n i wud never change them but in my mid teens i went though sum thing that screwed me up majorly i cudnt tell my parents becoz they were stressed enough n my mum is ill so it cud have made her worse. i didnt think my friends wud understand or even beleive me so i was on my own n i really felt it!!

it took me a long time to deal with this amongst other things which kept bringin me down but in the end i changed my whole outlook to stuff.

i actually sat myself down n forced myself to stop doubting wot i was doin n to start trustin my instincts.

i started looking at things from different angles and seeing the better things that came out the bad things. does that make sense?

im now alot stronger, confident and wise because of it. in fact i wudnt be the person i am if i hadnt have had to deal with these things! i have learnt to like myself.

sorry for babbling on!! xx


Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Written by: teejay_blue

im now alot stronger, confident and wise because of it. in fact i wudnt be the person i am if i hadnt have had to deal with these things! i have learnt to like myself.




That's really cool, and really true. Good on you Teej!


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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teejay_blue


teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...

Total posts: 387
Posted:yer i agree about the movin away thing as well, it takes a hell of a lot of guts to do it. but u wont be happy there till u want to be there - dosnt matter how long u stay or how used to it u get again - look at the good things about the place n area that ur old place didnt hav n take advantage of them.

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

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teejay_blue


teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...

Total posts: 387
Posted:thanx NearlyAllGone!!

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:biggrin

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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roarfire
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

roarfire

comfortably numb
Location: The countryside

Total posts: 2676
Posted:Yeah apparently I had depression for 3 years... I recently just got off anti depressants about a month ago.

I never believed in anti depressants though, I don't know why.

The best thing you can do is just get away from it all and think to yourself repeatedly 'it could be much worse'. That was the saying that helped me, even if it got to the extreme sometimes (ie. At least I'm not over in Iraq with all the bombs going off)

But things for me personally anyway was things like "at least I have shelter, at least I have both my parents and i know some people aren't as fortunate when it comes to parents but do you sort of get my drift? I just constantly thought about how much worse things could be and it made me apprieciate myself and my family more, etc.


.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.

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My hairs on fire


My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus

Total posts: 515
Posted:Thank you for all the kind comments an PM messages everyone.
Have started to make myself a lil game plan an taking each day as it comes. No expectation no dissapointment being a major factor in it....


Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )

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teejay_blue


teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...

Total posts: 387
Posted:Written by: xabandonedx



The best thing you can do is just get away from it all and think to yourself repeatedly 'it could be much worse'.


yes!! i always say that to my mum, wens shes down [shes poorly n depression is part of her illness] i ask her how many children has she lost? none! how long has she been happily married? 24 yrs. name 3 really really bad things thats happened to her in her life - she cant! [if ur unlucky in general i wud increase 3 to like 10 or summit...] rolleyes ubblove


Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

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flid
BRONZE Member since Aug 2002

flid

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Warwickshire

Total posts: 3136
Posted:Having suffered from depression when i was younger, I know that it is extremely widespread in the West, just not talked about (mental health is a very taboo subject). I think i remember reading within the last week in the paper that anti depression drugs are the second most costly medicine to the uk health service each year. Over the years I've talked to so many people who suffered from depression as a teenager, and its just so common in today's society.



Having used the net for about 10 years I also know that people find it a lot easier to talk about their experiences with etc than in normal life. This is great, because it lets you see that you arn't the only person.



You do need to act with caution thou, because everyone's reasons for depression are different. Learning from other people's experiences can be a very helpful and powerful form of treatment, but it's important (as with anything on the internet) to not take things too literally - as with any medical condition a medical professional should be your main source of advice and information (whether it be practical or medication) and anything you find out elsewhere verified by them. It's vitally important to remember that not everything you read online (however wellmeaning) is either factually true or said with the same amount of integrity, meaning or thought that it comes across with and is interpriated as.


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Spanner
BRONZE Member since Feb 2003

Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...

Total posts: 2790
Posted:Written by: flid

Over the years I've talked to so many people who suffered from depression as a teenager, and its just so common in today's society.




It is. I think that depression appears to be more common now than ever because, although it's still taboo to a certain extent, especially when considering lingering stigma upon mental illness, people are becoming more open about it. Not long ago, many people who talked about depression were generally either assumed to be "crazy" or told to "pull yourself together" (as my mum told me last week - cheers Mum, but if I could do that, I'd have done it 10 years ago ubblol ).

But aside from that, I don't doubt that it's becoming significantly more common anyway. Depression has much to do with not feeling in control of one's own life and it seems the more society "develops" to offer us freedom in some areas and restrict it in others, the more depressed we become. It's hard to know if we're fulfilling our whole potential, functioning, or merely existing. So in today's society, isn't it reasonable to be depressed?

To me, depression isn't always a bad sign. It often signals that you know something isn't right, which is the first thing you need to know before deciding what to do about it. Some people live for years either being or believing they're happy, yet suddenly break down one day because they haven't realised or taken notice of what's been in the back of their mind.

But I've found that it helps to listen to yourself, what your mind and body is telling you. It's often hard to get away from it at the best of times, I know, but it's important. Anti-depressants, counsellors etc. can help, but they don't work on their own, because only you yourself know how you truly feel.

Having read your post, My hairs on fire (no, not my hair wink ), I see your strength and I don't think that it will always be like this for you. Good luck smile


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

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My hairs on fire


My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus

Total posts: 515
Posted:thanx hug

Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )

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stickman


World Champ Procrastinator
Location: ||...lost...||

Total posts: 580
Posted:I agree with spanner there.. i think that the increase in cases of depression can be largely blamed on society these days and all its conformity it expects of us.. there are billions of adds for shampoo, anti spot cream, deoderant, weightloss thingys, any form of aesthetic product that might make you more beautiful and more accepted by society.. i myself have dreadlocks, and i have heard comments such as "dont look at him son, hes dirty" and people ignoring me when all i want is directions or know where the bathroom is.

i think society puts a lot of pressure on people to look like the ideal image of how someone should look, moreso on women than men, but lately more and more on men too(gilette commercials: without this razor you wont have girls hanging onto you! BS!!!! is all i have to say) and if there are people who have spots, or naturally have eyes that are too close together, or dont have the right shoes on when wearing regular f***ing jeans, those people are often looked down upon.. (i know i am with my appearance.. also, my brother is from appearance not 'conformed' with society since he has a mowhawk and studs and patches on his leather jacket and docs and plaid pants, and he was once arrested for walking with his bike that had no light! i sh*t you not.. this literally happened. )im getting a bit off topic here.. back to the point. the point is (and yes i do have one) that because of all the pressure put on people these days to look like Mr. Gilette or Claudia Schiffer, people go to extremes (plasic surgery) to try to make themselves happier with the way they look.. this pressure to conform to the 'normal' appearance of society, to be a sheep, often causes depressions in the cases where people are not supermodels.

sorry MHoF, i know this isnt realy related to your situation as such, but its just an idea of why depression is becoming more and more a problem in todays society..

jsut to wrap this up, i also agree that if you ahve "home" in your head, and feel confortable with who, what, and where you are, then there is no reason to be upset or depressed.. im comfortable with the fact that people look down on me for ahving dreadlocks, but at least im happy with myself and do what i like, and thats one of the most important things in life..

sorry to rant............


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SCRUBS


SCRUBS

erm....can you smell parafin or is it me?


Total posts: 146
Posted:Hi How are you?

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ImmortalAngel
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Scientist!
Location: Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

Total posts: 578
Posted:I am a sufferer of Bipolar. It can be a great deal of trouble more often than not.
I have tried to take my own life more than once.
I did it because I couldn't see a way out, and it just kept getting worse.
I am on my way to being better, and I am not taking any anti depressants (I can't swallow pills anymore, after downing 3 bottles of prescription medication, even thinking about having a pill triggers my gag relfex).
I have other friends who are using medical help to help them, and I think that's great! If you find something that makes you feel better, if only a little bit, then by all means go with it!
Even if it's something small like say, bowling, go join a league. Or take a nice warm candle lit bath. Set some time for your self, and do the things you like doing, or find something you like doing. It may not seem like much now, but when ever I'm feeling really down, I'll go for a walk with a walkman and put on some music that always makes me smile. I know it might not work for everyone, but it works for some people.
I've walked hours, in the middle of the night, in below freezing temperatures, in nothing more than my PJs to go see a friend, have a chat, exchange a hug, and go home. The entire way I had a smile on my face, even when I started to get frostbite on my ears and nose and fingers. The inner warmth was overwhelming.
My Hair, Teejay said it best, but now that you've started to seek help, you're half way there, and as long as you want to be happy again, the momentum will only grow from here. Just never give up mate smile If you're feeling down, go spin, or call up a friend or someone you know and tell them you really need to hang out for a bit, or talk on the phone.
hug hug hug hug hug Many hugs to you mate! Keep getting better, and don't forget to juggle and weavesmiley


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> STAY SAFE! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" />

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pineapple pete
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

pineapple pete

water based
Location: melbourne

Total posts: 5125
Posted:hug

"you know there are no trophys for doing silly things in real life yeah pete?" said ant "you wont get a 'listened to ride of the valkyries all the way to vietnam' trophy"

*proud owner of the very cute fire_spinning_angel, birgit and neon shaolin*

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Facelessjoker
BRONZE Member since Sep 2004

enthusiast
Location: Exeter

Total posts: 249
Posted:I've been seeing a councillor for very nearly a year now and it really helped me. I feel alot better for it. But i agree that councillors or drugs on their own dont work, you have to want it to work. Many of the people ive met who have depression always tell me therapist are useless and do nothing for them. Which is fine and good but most of them tend to think everything will be useless for them and i wish i could make them change their mind set.
I do think society is making it alot worse. People in the UK are the most worked so the fact so many people have depression isnt surprising. I started feeling depressed really bad in yr 11 but it didnt come to a head until yr 12/13 when i had my A levels facing me. SO im all for the idea stress is a big trigger.
My hairs on fire, alot of the things you described in your first post i can relate to. The putting people on a pedastool thing especially. I find by doing that im setting myself to be let down because they cant fix everthing. But sinse seeing my councillor ive realised the only one who can fix things is me so im less inclined to expect so much.
hug Im glad it feels like things are getting better for you. smile


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