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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:It's very difficult when you've been a bit of a neglectful arse to make it up to your friends, and very difficult if you're not going to be able to see them any more than you did before you realised it.

To my friends my lifestyle appears the same as theirs, and they can't understand why I'm not spending much time with them. But my university reading is immense, other work very important as well and I'm trying to keep my relationship with my long-distance girlfriend together, so I'm seeing her lots. Plus the fact a close relative passed away recently and I want to be home to look after my mum a bit more, and I'm tremendously homesick.

Anyone been in a similar situation or have any thoughts? I'm sort of at my wits end. I love my friends but I just have to prioritise.


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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coleman
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

coleman

big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay

Total posts: 7330
Posted:tell them all this and tell them how you feel about them.

friends will support you through your tough times - even if that 'support' comes in the form of seeing you less but understanding why and not thinking any less of you for it.


cole. x


"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Thanks for that Cole. I guess I should talk to them about it. I hope they're proper friends and will accept this, that's all. I have to live with them for another 10 months and I don't think my situation's going to change very much.

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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teejay_blue


teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...

Total posts: 387
Posted:i agree with coleman, i really hope they understand ask them wot they wud do in ur position.

i love my friends n i love my life but if my mum needed me then i wud get on a train n be there, my family r precious n irreplacable


Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

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dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:Friends are just that: friends. If they fail to understand your needs, maybe they arent prepared to benefit from the positive aspects of your friendship! People tend to think they are the center of reality and get quite offended when other aspects of life conflict with their view of what is essential within a friendship.

what I am saying... is that
Those who matter dont care and those who care dont matter.
If people arent letting you be, follow coleman's advice, if that doesnt work then just let it be. Free yourself from the expectations of others. Only you know whats right for you.
Smiles and hugs


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Thank you smile That makes a lot of sense.

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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