Forums > Social Chat > Leaving Home...and growing up

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:As you know, I'm off to Romania next year. I am so excited about it! I can't wait, and while I'm scared, I'm more excited and I know it will be the time of my life!

But I'm an only child. I'm really close with my dad, not as close with mum, but she tries so hard to have the mother-daughter bond thing. And I think I'm more worried about them back home, than about me going away. Somehow I feel like a bad daughter for wanting to leave!

Dad is currently overseas at a job interview. Ever since I was little I have wanted him to work overseas and to visit (I've had the travel bug a long time!). But he's thinking about not taking it; I think he's just got a bit of culture shock and jet lagg. I think he's worried about me and mum, most likely mum, since I am off next year. Before he left, Grandpa (mum's dad) was giving him the guilts about leaving, and I think Grandpa is worried about the family splitting up all over the world and losing our ties at home.

I feel terrible about wanting to run off and see the world while my parents seem to be more secure at home. I said something briefly to mum yesterday, and she said she's jealous and would love to have had the opportunity to go overseas when she finished school. If dad ends up working overseas next year, it will be good in a way because then I'm not the only one overseas - but it'll be bad cos then mum will be on her own.

I would have been moving out to go to uni next year anyway - about 1.5 hours away. But I think it's like how I felt when my cousin moved interstate; even though you don't seen each other often, 1.5h isn't far...but 10h is! Let alone a few thousand kilometres!

I have always wanted to travel; always knowing that "I still call Australia 'Home'". Yet I'm scared about leaving hom.

I dunno. I'm probably just scared of growing up.

I know that was a bit incoherant, it's just a mass of my thoughts right now, that I probably should have given more structure before I put on here! But this way it shows how I'm feeling.

Who's been there, done that? Going through it? Had their kids going through it? etc.


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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gita
gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas
Member Since: 13th Oct 2003
Total posts: 3776
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

hey there rougie!! smile you already know what i think about all of this, so i'll just send you lots of hug and leave everyone else to post their comments!!

hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug


do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

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Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:while parents do get very sad when their children leave the nest, they also tend to be very proud of them for having the courage to do so.

don't worry about the family bonds - they will always be there. heck, you may find that after you have been gone for a while, you feel closer to them (perhaps even particualrly your mom) than you ever have before.

And there is nothing you can do to make them not worry - they have a lot invested in you - a lot of time, a lot of money, and a lot of love!

Besides, now they will have and excuse to get off their lazy bones and have a nice trip to europe!


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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PyroWill
PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines
Member Since: 4th Aug 2004
Total posts: 4437
Posted:I have been travelling Rouge and I must say all similar feeling arose, and I found that I just thought i have to go and hope things work out, and you know what, things do, I found that everything fell ok into place when i left and i stopped worrying, remember, they created you, they should be wise enough to be ok for a while, they are elders after all

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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nearly_all_gone
nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton
Member Since: 3rd Aug 2004
Total posts: 1626
Posted:Things got a lot better between me and my family when I moved away, actually. I started to appreciate all the things they did for me which I didn't have the slightest idea about. It's hard and it's scary, but it's also exciting and a lot of fun. Good luck!

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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Kit
veteran
Location: middle of Troon
Member Since: 22nd Jan 2004
Total posts: 1269
Posted:ditto. i got closer to me mam.. i messed up alot and we got closer i seem to hav elost it a bit with my dad but thats just an extremely unfortunate co-incedince ofa screw up brother a mid life crisis and a fight for independance... yeah... me mam and i got close tho!


its worth it girl. go!


random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh

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Konsti
Konsti

lovable smart-ass
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria
Member Since: 16th Oct 2003
Total posts: 785
Posted:well you should think about what you want first and then think about ur family.

and you dont have to grow up at all. i have seen many of my friends try and act all grown up after school, not realizing that this is the time for messing around and gathering life experience. i have had many more experiences being a lazy student bum, than them being all grown up and trying to sort their lifes out early....

just dont worry and get ur bum over to europe...
hug


"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer

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NYC
NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:Your relationships with your parents change when you leave home, as they should. For me it was a change for the better.

I love being a grown up.

When you're a grown up, you can act like a kid sometimes when it's fun, and then change into an adult when the situation warrants.

Sometimes I still forget. I'll see some silly little toy and think: "I want to have that!"... and then I remember I can. biggrin


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Pink...?
Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There
Member Since: 6th Apr 2002
Total posts: 6140
Posted:hug

You're going to have to leave home one time or other. No point delaying it forever. (unless you are like my cousin who is 38 with a 6yr old boy and is still living with her parents, she has never moved out eek )

They'll soon grow to like their new freedom smile


Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

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ado-p
ado-p

Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland
Member Since: 13th May 2004
Total posts: 3882
Posted:I like it because i get to stay out late biggrin

Love is the law.

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MiG
MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG
Member Since: 16th Apr 2004
Total posts: 3415
Posted:Leaving home is great. tough at times, especially when centrelink are moody, but its something that im glad i did, and im glad i did it the hardest way i could (moved into a friends place, and not family). The first month or so is a bit of a shock, but after that, you get used to stuff, adapt, start washing things as you need them, and its all good. Im not sure how it affected my relationships with my parents, i think i annoyed mum a little with constant requests for money, but that got sorted in the end.

Anyway, its been a great experience. you have the opportunity to find out so much about yourself, like how many hours you can go without sleeping (56), the strongest coffee you can stand (8 teaspoons), how many packets of two minute noodles constitute a meal (at least 3), the fewest number of meals you can eat in a week (around 10, i think it was. and most of those were 2 minute noodles).

Its been a blast so far, with a couple of exceptions. but i havent died yet, so im getting stronger. you will too smile


"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie

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nearly_all_gone
nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton
Member Since: 3rd Aug 2004
Total posts: 1626
Posted:Written by: MiG

how many packets of two minute noodles constitute a meal (at least 3)



So true!

But that's why God gave us bread.


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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MiG
MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG
Member Since: 16th Apr 2004
Total posts: 3415
Posted:but bread goes mouldy. and it dont taste good like that.

"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie

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nearly_all_gone
nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton
Member Since: 3rd Aug 2004
Total posts: 1626
Posted:Not at my house it doesn't. But then I am a bread monster. I could eat bread all day and all night, and turn into a giant loaf of bread, and sleep on a bed of bread in a bread house on a bread hill with a bread sun and bread clouds flying over it and still not be sick of bread.

But I'm weird. Anyway, offtopic of me. Sorry.


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:MiG, I remember lisrening to the radio when they were paying out John Howard, who lived at home until he was 30 (or something like that), and they said that you can't trust someone to run a country who hasn't lived on a staple diet of 2 minutes noodles! ubblol

to everyone else: hug kiss
I'm feeling alright about it today; no doubt I'll keep having my ups and downs in my month and a half left, I'll manage!


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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gita
gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas
Member Since: 13th Oct 2003
Total posts: 3776
Posted:i knew there was a good reason for my disliking that strange little man!! ubblol

do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

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Eera
old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay
Member Since: 29th May 2003
Total posts: 1107
Posted:Figure that if you don't go, you'll end a sad and lonely old women surrounded by cats and shouting at the postman. Possibly you'll be wearing an old wedding dress too.

It'll be scarey, you'll miss your folks, it may even be hard work being so far from home, but it's something you will never, ever regret doing.

Go and have the time of your life.


There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:Nah, I doubt I'd be wearing an old wedding dress - that means I'd have to get married first! ubblol

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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gita
gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas
Member Since: 13th Oct 2003
Total posts: 3776
Posted:we could just buy you one from endo's?? tongue do you have a cat already? and the postie should visit every day anyway...



ubblol


do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

Delete

Eera
old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay
Member Since: 29th May 2003
Total posts: 1107
Posted:EVERYONE should have an old wedding dress; you're never short of fancy dress ideas then: Kate Bush for an 80's party; Miss Haversham for a literary party; The Woman in White for an obscure books party.

um...


There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

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Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:I, in fact, have two old wedding dresses!

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Faberg
veteran
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Member Since: 26th Aug 2003
Total posts: 1459
Posted:eek

other than having a vintage wedding dress fetish, i'm sure there's a perfectly valid reason... come on... out with it....


My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely smile

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spritie
spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX
Member Since: 9th Sep 2001
Total posts: 2014
Posted:'tis true. I have really amusing pics of him and some of my other male friends all wearing them at the same time. Highly amusing. biggrin

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Mistress_Maledicti
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over
Location: Wolverhampton
Member Since: 9th Sep 2004
Total posts: 192
Posted:I've been away from my family for a very long time - it doesn't mean that I don't miss them, I do and it's great when I go to visit but at the same time I think we have stronger bonds because we aren't living on top of each other any more.

Travelling is a great thing to do, it's probably going to be the best time you ever had and when your family start hearing back from you about where you've been and what you've been doing, they'll be jealous as hell!

sin


"Abashed, the Devil stood and saw how awful Goodness is"

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Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:Written by: Faberg

eek

other than having a vintage wedding dress fetish, i'm sure there's a perfectly valid reason... come on... out with it....



that's easy - one word: "burningman"


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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yannicus
yannicus

member
Location: Paris, France, the armpit of e...
Member Since: 16th Jul 2003
Total posts: 169
Posted:leaving 'home' is sometimes very painful, sometimes total relief, but always fruitful in the long run. how can you know who you are if you have never been confronted with yourself, all alone, just you against the world; after that, you are your own person.

-Believing that all has been said and done is like mistaking the horizon for the limits of the world. Voltaire.
-Plus je connais hommes, plus j'aime mon chien. Pascal.

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stickman
World Champ Procrastinator
Location: ||...lost...||
Member Since: 25th Jul 2004
Total posts: 580
Posted:yay... go rouge!!

travelling is the way to go! i actually did it the other way around.. i was in vienna for 5 years and then did a 5 month tour of australia.. my parents were hella scared about me being half way across the world, them knowing that i have a tendency to lose things ( and of course i lost my passport ooooops spank)

but it is the best way to learn about who you really are, what your interests in life are (besides fire biggrin) and how you will deal with the world as it is thrown at you from all different directions.. am i scaring you.. oh, im sorry if i did hug there is really nothing to worry about. travelling will be the experience of your life, and like konsti said, this is the time to gain experiences and go crazy before you really have to grow up and get a job etc etc..

so, i wish you all the luck in the world and above all: ENJOY YOURSELF!! biggrin grouphug


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Psycho_lemming
Psycho_lemming

Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland
Member Since: 16th Jul 2004
Total posts: 15
Posted:hug hug hug

we'll i'm not quite half way through a year on the otherside of the world to my parents, so i understand what your feeling, for me i had already moved out to uni for 2 years (about 4hours from home) so i guess that made it all easier. It was weird leaving for uni, i found i got on much better with my parents over the phone, and things improved, weird thing is that whenever i went home we only lasted a while before getting annoyed and argueing again, guess cos we had got used to the other not being around, and had got our freedom etc but its definately better for me now i have moved out.

on the going to a new country thing... i have never felt so nervous and sick before as i did at the airport, but once your on the plane theres nothing you can do but get on with the things that happen, i think thats what i have been doing, just facing the things that happen to me...

its strange having just met up with someone from the UK again i've realised how little i contact home in comparison to other people, i dunno how my rents feel about my lack of contact etc, but i think they would say something as they do email me occassionally

wierdest thing will be first xmas away from family, but i have sorted something to do so hopefully that will be ok

sorry for rambling, guess i just wanted to let you know your not alone, and that although it may be hard it will also be fantastic

take care of yourself and dont worry about being scared....
hug
xxx


Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...

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teejay_blue
teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 387
Posted:i miss my mum... ubbcrying

ive been living all over the place for a couple of years now n hardly ever get to my family but we're alot closer now then before coz we're all fiery ppl - that dosnt work well under the same roof!!
im gunna call her now.


Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:Tonight at tea mum suggested her travelling Europe with me. I feel like the biggest bitch by saying I dont want her to. I was happy to meet up with my folks in the UK at the end of my trip, but I just feel that travelling with mum will inhibit my independence. I sort of feel that if mum comes with me, it will comprimise the independence I have already gained. But at the same time, it might bring us closer.



It's such a bloody catch-22! I feel like such a bitch cos I do love my mum; we just dont get along all the time and aren't really close.



I can just imagine mum wanting to go back to the hostel while I wanted to stay partying!

EDITED_BY: Rouge Dragon (1103289901)


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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OrangeBobo
OrangeBobo

veteran
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
Member Since: 21st Nov 2003
Total posts: 1389
Posted:Yeah... my dad is in Geneva in the beginning of July, and assumes he can come over here, and take me home when school ends... WHAT?!?!?! I mean, I'm sorry, that's a bit too much... it'll take at LEAST the travelling home to deal with the fact that my whole life is dissappearing... again! I'd like to see him, but I don't think it would be good for him to take me home. After a year of being on my own... and then only to have my hand held on the way home... *sigh*

~ Bobo


wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier

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Page: 12

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