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Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
As you know, I'm off to Romania next year. I am so excited about it! I can't wait, and while I'm scared, I'm more excited and I know it will be the time of my life!

But I'm an only child. I'm really close with my dad, not as close with mum, but she tries so hard to have the mother-daughter bond thing. And I think I'm more worried about them back home, than about me going away. Somehow I feel like a bad daughter for wanting to leave!

Dad is currently overseas at a job interview. Ever since I was little I have wanted him to work overseas and to visit (I've had the travel bug a long time!). But he's thinking about not taking it; I think he's just got a bit of culture shock and jet lagg. I think he's worried about me and mum, most likely mum, since I am off next year. Before he left, Grandpa (mum's dad) was giving him the guilts about leaving, and I think Grandpa is worried about the family splitting up all over the world and losing our ties at home.

I feel terrible about wanting to run off and see the world while my parents seem to be more secure at home. I said something briefly to mum yesterday, and she said she's jealous and would love to have had the opportunity to go overseas when she finished school. If dad ends up working overseas next year, it will be good in a way because then I'm not the only one overseas - but it'll be bad cos then mum will be on her own.

I would have been moving out to go to uni next year anyway - about 1.5 hours away. But I think it's like how I felt when my cousin moved interstate; even though you don't seen each other often, 1.5h isn't far...but 10h is! Let alone a few thousand kilometres!

I have always wanted to travel; always knowing that "I still call Australia 'Home'". Yet I'm scared about leaving hom.

I dunno. I'm probably just scared of growing up.

I know that was a bit incoherant, it's just a mass of my thoughts right now, that I probably should have given more structure before I put on here! But this way it shows how I'm feeling.

Who's been there, done that? Going through it? Had their kids going through it? etc.

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


margitaSILVER Member
.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
3,777 posts
Location: brizvegas, Australia


Posted:
hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

hey there rougie!! smile you already know what i think about all of this, so i'll just send you lots of hug and leave everyone else to post their comments!!

hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!



if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!



smile! :grin: it confuses people!


vanizeSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA


Posted:
while parents do get very sad when their children leave the nest, they also tend to be very proud of them for having the courage to do so.

don't worry about the family bonds - they will always be there. heck, you may find that after you have been gone for a while, you feel closer to them (perhaps even particualrly your mom) than you ever have before.

And there is nothing you can do to make them not worry - they have a lot invested in you - a lot of time, a lot of money, and a lot of love!

Besides, now they will have and excuse to get off their lazy bones and have a nice trip to europe!

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


PyroWillGOLD Member
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom


Posted:
I have been travelling Rouge and I must say all similar feeling arose, and I found that I just thought i have to go and hope things work out, and you know what, things do, I found that everything fell ok into place when i left and i stopped worrying, remember, they created you, they should be wise enough to be ok for a while, they are elders after all

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian


nearly_all_goneSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Things got a lot better between me and my family when I moved away, actually. I started to appreciate all the things they did for me which I didn't have the slightest idea about. It's hard and it's scary, but it's also exciting and a lot of fun. Good luck!

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau


Kitveteran
1,269 posts
Location: middle of Troon


Posted:
ditto. i got closer to me mam.. i messed up alot and we got closer i seem to hav elost it a bit with my dad but thats just an extremely unfortunate co-incedince ofa screw up brother a mid life crisis and a fight for independance... yeah... me mam and i got close tho!


its worth it girl. go!

random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh


Konstilovable smart-ass
785 posts
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria


Posted:
well you should think about what you want first and then think about ur family.

and you dont have to grow up at all. i have seen many of my friends try and act all grown up after school, not realizing that this is the time for messing around and gathering life experience. i have had many more experiences being a lazy student bum, than them being all grown up and trying to sort their lifes out early....

just dont worry and get ur bum over to europe...
hug

"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer


NYCNYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA


Posted:
Your relationships with your parents change when you leave home, as they should. For me it was a change for the better.

I love being a grown up.

When you're a grown up, you can act like a kid sometimes when it's fun, and then change into an adult when the situation warrants.

Sometimes I still forget. I'll see some silly little toy and think: "I want to have that!"... and then I remember I can. biggrin

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


Pink...?BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug

You're going to have to leave home one time or other. No point delaying it forever. (unless you are like my cousin who is 38 with a 6yr old boy and is still living with her parents, she has never moved out eek )

They'll soon grow to like their new freedom smile

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...


ado-pGOLD Member
Pirate Ninja
3,882 posts
Location: Galway/Ireland


Posted:
I like it because i get to stay out late biggrin

Love is the law.


MiGGOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia


Posted:
Leaving home is great. tough at times, especially when centrelink are moody, but its something that im glad i did, and im glad i did it the hardest way i could (moved into a friends place, and not family). The first month or so is a bit of a shock, but after that, you get used to stuff, adapt, start washing things as you need them, and its all good. Im not sure how it affected my relationships with my parents, i think i annoyed mum a little with constant requests for money, but that got sorted in the end.

Anyway, its been a great experience. you have the opportunity to find out so much about yourself, like how many hours you can go without sleeping (56), the strongest coffee you can stand (8 teaspoons), how many packets of two minute noodles constitute a meal (at least 3), the fewest number of meals you can eat in a week (around 10, i think it was. and most of those were 2 minute noodles).

Its been a blast so far, with a couple of exceptions. but i havent died yet, so im getting stronger. you will too smile

"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie


nearly_all_goneSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: MiG


how many packets of two minute noodles constitute a meal (at least 3)




So true!

But that's why God gave us bread.

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau


MiGGOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia


Posted:
but bread goes mouldy. and it dont taste good like that.

"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie


nearly_all_goneSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Not at my house it doesn't. But then I am a bread monster. I could eat bread all day and all night, and turn into a giant loaf of bread, and sleep on a bed of bread in a bread house on a bread hill with a bread sun and bread clouds flying over it and still not be sick of bread.

But I'm weird. Anyway, offtopic of me. Sorry.

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
MiG, I remember lisrening to the radio when they were paying out John Howard, who lived at home until he was 30 (or something like that), and they said that you can't trust someone to run a country who hasn't lived on a staple diet of 2 minutes noodles! ubblol

to everyone else: hug kiss
I'm feeling alright about it today; no doubt I'll keep having my ups and downs in my month and a half left, I'll manage!

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


margitaSILVER Member
.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
3,777 posts
Location: brizvegas, Australia


Posted:
i knew there was a good reason for my disliking that strange little man!! ubblol

do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!



if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!



smile! :grin: it confuses people!


EeraBRONZE Member
old hand
1,107 posts
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Australia


Posted:
Figure that if you don't go, you'll end a sad and lonely old women surrounded by cats and shouting at the postman. Possibly you'll be wearing an old wedding dress too.

It'll be scarey, you'll miss your folks, it may even be hard work being so far from home, but it's something you will never, ever regret doing.

Go and have the time of your life.

There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
Nah, I doubt I'd be wearing an old wedding dress - that means I'd have to get married first! ubblol

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


margitaSILVER Member
.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
3,777 posts
Location: brizvegas, Australia


Posted:
we could just buy you one from endo's?? tongue do you have a cat already? and the postie should visit every day anyway...



ubblol

do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!



if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!



smile! :grin: it confuses people!


EeraBRONZE Member
old hand
1,107 posts
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Australia


Posted:
EVERYONE should have an old wedding dress; you're never short of fancy dress ideas then: Kate Bush for an 80's party; Miss Haversham for a literary party; The Woman in White for an obscure books party.

um...

There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.


vanizeSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA


Posted:
I, in fact, have two old wedding dresses!

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


FabergéGOLD Member
veteran
1,459 posts
Location: Dublin, Ireland


Posted:
eek

other than having a vintage wedding dress fetish, i'm sure there's a perfectly valid reason... come on... out with it....

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely smile


spritieSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA


Posted:
'tis true. I have really amusing pics of him and some of my other male friends all wearing them at the same time. Highly amusing. biggrin

Mistress_MaledictiHeaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over
192 posts
Location: Wolverhampton


Posted:
I've been away from my family for a very long time - it doesn't mean that I don't miss them, I do and it's great when I go to visit but at the same time I think we have stronger bonds because we aren't living on top of each other any more.

Travelling is a great thing to do, it's probably going to be the best time you ever had and when your family start hearing back from you about where you've been and what you've been doing, they'll be jealous as hell!

sin

"Abashed, the Devil stood and saw how awful Goodness is"


vanizeSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA


Posted:
Written by: Fabergé


eek

other than having a vintage wedding dress fetish, i'm sure there's a perfectly valid reason... come on... out with it....




that's easy - one word: "burningman"

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


yannicusGOLD Member
member
169 posts
Location: Paris, France, the armpit of europe


Posted:
leaving 'home' is sometimes very painful, sometimes total relief, but always fruitful in the long run. how can you know who you are if you have never been confronted with yourself, all alone, just you against the world; after that, you are your own person.

-Believing that all has been said and done is like mistaking the horizon for the limits of the world. Voltaire.
-Plus je connais hommes, plus j'aime mon chien. Pascal.


stickmanWorld Champ Procrastinator
580 posts
Location: ||...lost...||


Posted:
yay... go rouge!!

travelling is the way to go! i actually did it the other way around.. i was in vienna for 5 years and then did a 5 month tour of australia.. my parents were hella scared about me being half way across the world, them knowing that i have a tendency to lose things ( and of course i lost my passport ooooops spank)

but it is the best way to learn about who you really are, what your interests in life are (besides fire biggrin) and how you will deal with the world as it is thrown at you from all different directions.. am i scaring you.. oh, im sorry if i did hug there is really nothing to worry about. travelling will be the experience of your life, and like konsti said, this is the time to gain experiences and go crazy before you really have to grow up and get a job etc etc..

so, i wish you all the luck in the world and above all: ENJOY YOURSELF!! biggrin grouphug

Psycho_lemmingSILVER Member
Running hippy spinning lemming
15 posts
Location: Scotland


Posted:
hug hug hug

we'll i'm not quite half way through a year on the otherside of the world to my parents, so i understand what your feeling, for me i had already moved out to uni for 2 years (about 4hours from home) so i guess that made it all easier. It was weird leaving for uni, i found i got on much better with my parents over the phone, and things improved, weird thing is that whenever i went home we only lasted a while before getting annoyed and argueing again, guess cos we had got used to the other not being around, and had got our freedom etc but its definately better for me now i have moved out.

on the going to a new country thing... i have never felt so nervous and sick before as i did at the airport, but once your on the plane theres nothing you can do but get on with the things that happen, i think thats what i have been doing, just facing the things that happen to me...

its strange having just met up with someone from the UK again i've realised how little i contact home in comparison to other people, i dunno how my rents feel about my lack of contact etc, but i think they would say something as they do email me occassionally

wierdest thing will be first xmas away from family, but i have sorted something to do so hopefully that will be ok

sorry for rambling, guess i just wanted to let you know your not alone, and that although it may be hard it will also be fantastic

take care of yourself and dont worry about being scared....
hug
xxx

Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...


teejay_bluemikes bitch
387 posts
Location: manchester/northampton/where the wind blows


Posted:
i miss my mum... ubbcrying

ive been living all over the place for a couple of years now n hardly ever get to my family but we're alot closer now then before coz we're all fiery ppl - that dosnt work well under the same roof!!
im gunna call her now.

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
Tonight at tea mum suggested her travelling Europe with me. I feel like the biggest bitch by saying I dont want her to. I was happy to meet up with my folks in the UK at the end of my trip, but I just feel that travelling with mum will inhibit my independence. I sort of feel that if mum comes with me, it will comprimise the independence I have already gained. But at the same time, it might bring us closer.



It's such a bloody catch-22! I feel like such a bitch cos I do love my mum; we just dont get along all the time and aren't really close.



I can just imagine mum wanting to go back to the hostel while I wanted to stay partying!
EDITED_BY: Rouge Dragon (1103289901)

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


OrangeBoboSILVER Member
veteran
1,389 posts
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada


Posted:
Yeah... my dad is in Geneva in the beginning of July, and assumes he can come over here, and take me home when school ends... WHAT?!?!?! I mean, I'm sorry, that's a bit too much... it'll take at LEAST the travelling home to deal with the fact that my whole life is dissappearing... again! I'd like to see him, but I don't think it would be good for him to take me home. After a year of being on my own... and then only to have my hand held on the way home... *sigh*

~ Bobo

wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier


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