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Forums > Social Chat > 30 Things Guys Want Girls To Know!!

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ben-ja-men
GOLD Member since Jun 2003

ben-ja-men

just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide, Australia

Total posts: 2474
Posted:i thought that this was just totally ace and had to share it

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?

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Dr_Molly


Dr_Molly

Pooh-Bah
Location: Away from home

Total posts: 2354
Posted:I disagree with what Vanize is saying. In my opinion, men and women are not brought up in intrinsically different cultures. Yes there are social stereotypes that the two sexes are pressured to conform to, but to blithely sweep aside our common nature does nothing but serve to perpetuate such stereotyping.



It is perfectly possible for women to say what they mean, what they want and not to piss about with other people's emotions by playing mind games.

It is perfectly possible for men to see women as people and not objects, and to have real conversations about how they are feeling without emasculating themselves.



If you do not have enough repsect for and trust in your partner to speak your mind openly then I think you are missing out on something truely precious.



I'm losing my train of thought.



I'll try and summarise what I was attempting to say.



Men and women are not separated by some mystical divide. However, it often seems to be the case that people succumb to expectations of how they should behave so that the girlfriend will never say what she means (because she is supposed to maintain some misguided sense of mystique?) and the boyfriend will blunder and bluster through his emotions (because that's what manly men do... isn't it?)



I liked the tone of the first post in this thread - men aren't all that the stereotypes crack them up to be. Be nice to them ladies.

I can see the humour in the translations of women's and men's language.

I find it very sad that that is what so many relationships seem to revolve around.



Be kind and honest to the people in your life whether they be your lover, your friend or even your enemy. Nothing else is going to get you anywhere really.


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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:read the book "middlesex" then - about a genetically male hermaphrodite raised as a girl. and read the previous book I mentioned too.



it's not about stereotypes or mystical divides or even genetics, its about how society treats people of different sexes as they grow up, and the different responses expected of them in various situations.



do speak openly, but also keep in mind the other person is probably hearing something very different than you mean.


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:In her second-to-last sentence, Molly sums it all up in one word (if I may be serious for a moment):

HONESTY.

In my little joking exchange above about two gay men deciding to go and screw, there's an underlying honesty: "I don't know you that well, but you seem sane enough and I think you're hot, so let's go have sex. If there's anything else to be figured out, then we'll do that when we're both sober, fully dressed and thinking with our brains instead of our wee-wees."

Not all gay men do that, of course. There's as much variety among gay men as there is among straight folk. Some are sex-fiends, some are serial monogamists, some are poly, some are just looking for "Mr. Right." But as long as people are HONEST about it, then nobody has to get hurt. I think people are afraid to be honest because they're afraid of rejection, so they're willing to couch whatever they want in such ambiguous terms that it takes a full decoding team from the CIA to figure out exactly what it all means.

But the people whose company I enjoy the most, both in and out of the bedroom and both in and out of relationships are people with whom we have an HONEST understand with each-other about what's going on.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go back to being silly and stereotypical again.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:honesty is all about telling the truth. I do not beleive a single truely subjective truth actually exists in all of human experince. the best you can do is try to give an accurate description what you percieve and do your best to help someone share your perception the bast you can. taking into account that women may perceive the same statement differently than a man might is a valuable tool in this effort.

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Delete

Dr_Molly


Dr_Molly

Pooh-Bah
Location: Away from home

Total posts: 2354
Posted:Vanize, I agree that society treats people very differently according to what sex they are.

I also think that is is possible to choose for yourself how you respond to such treatment, and how you incorporate these pervasive stereotypes into your own behaviour. Perhaps that is something that takes a bit of growing up and settling into yourself to do, and that would explain why so much of the mind game playing is done by teenagers.

It isn't just about speaking honestly, you have to listen honestly too. And when you do that there is very little room for misunderstanding.


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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Van, you're right that "truth" is a nebulous concept, but "dishonesty" is more clear-cut. Even if you just TRY to be honest, you decrease your chances of 1) getting hurt and confused and 2) hurting and confusing anyone else.

Nothing in this life is guaranteed. Even with honesty, people still get hurt, but less often than when people lie. smile


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:you and I are basically on the same side of the fence, except for that last little part about there not being much room for understanding even if both people are talking and listening honestly... but enough from me. you know where I'm coming from and I can't convince you from here and I have to run and catch a train now anyway.

beerchug


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Delete

Dr_Molly


Dr_Molly

Pooh-Bah
Location: Away from home

Total posts: 2354
Posted:*looks about nervously to see if there are trains bearing convincing people appearing*

I'm just a bit too crazy-happy to see your (probably quite true) side of the argument
This whole honesty lark can work, IS working, and feels really really lovely

ubblove

but I was trying to keep that out of my posts smile


Delete

Dr_Molly


Dr_Molly

Pooh-Bah
Location: Away from home

Total posts: 2354
Posted:Spritie,
can you explain to me where that stems from because, whilst I can see it happening, I can't justify it.

At what point do our language lessons diverge?


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spritie
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX, USA

Total posts: 2014
Posted:Sorry, I deleted the post. The boys did a better job of explaining it than I did. It basically boils down to how the different sexes interpret what they hear. Clear communication also depends somewhat on the tone the person explaining something uses.

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:This conversation is lovely. smile

I'll agree with Vanzie about there not being a "Truth" (One Truth) but what we're talking about is "truth" (Individual perceptions).

When I'm talking about communicating 'honesty' and 'truth' I'm talking about my own perception. And that perception can even change over time.

It's important to set up a relationship where one can keep communicating wants, needs, and desires honestly and openly and effectively and consistantly.

At least FOR ME.

I mean some people like not knowing anything about what's going on with their partner. I'm not judging that at all. This is just what works FOR ME.

Some couples view relationships as a competition in the art of manipulation and have a great time doing so.

I just like honesty better. ubblove

Gotta go... gotta gig. smile


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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spritie
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX, USA

Total posts: 2014
Posted:I'm agreeing with you, NYC. Did I make it seem like I wasn't? confused

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Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)


enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA

Total posts: 456
Posted:The problem, NYC, is that men and women really do have different communication styles and cultures. Not as moronically simple as "Men are From Mars..." to be sure, but there are some real differences.

Please read Deborah Tannen, You Just Don't Understand, for a more detailed and scholarly approach. Or take my word for it.

We can't say what we mean because when we do, it's (often) a conventional way of saying something ELSE. Instead we have to figure out how the other person is going to take what we say, then figure out SOME way of communicating exactly what we actually mean.

That said, I'm all for honesty in relationships. Absolutely. Except when it just hurts the other person without actually improving things at all...consider an honest response to "do I look fat in this?" for example. It will not help. "You always look good to me, but that dress doesn't flatter your gorgeous body" may not be perfectly honest, but it's way better than the simple, true "yes."

Trust me.

And PMS, ladies, is an excuse for being in a bad mood. No, it's a REASON. It is also a good reason for not being in The Mood. It is NOT an excuse for being abusive (emotionally, verbally, or physically) to your man. Because nothing is. PMS or no, you owe an apology when you do that. (Who was it who said that the difference between men and women is that women are ONLY PMS a few days a month? We have our moods too, and owe apologies if we treat you badly.)


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations

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Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)


enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA

Total posts: 456
Posted:Btw,

31. "Inexcusable" does not mean "unforgivable." Or no relationships would be possible.


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations

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Lillie Frog


Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:Written by: wingrd

It's at the point when girls turn into women they understand there inability to deal with PMS, and then treat others badly has no long term positive effect and causes more unhappiness in all relationships then the man forgetting their anniversary.
For this reason I never date women with PMS issues, they deal with it or censored off - treat me with disrespect and youre history!!

So Im voting for not an excuse



ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol rolleyes

Niceto know that there are such caring, understanding, sensitive men around.

But you are right, PMS isn't an excuse, it's a reason, it's a damn good reason.
It is also a medical condition, a chemical imbalance. So, therefore, what you said is really, unpleasantly, discriminatory.

And forgetting an aniversary is extreemly disrespectful, and shows a distinct lack of care or thought toward the one you are supposed to love.

But hey! we'll just deal with that too, shall we?


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom

Total posts: 15965
Posted:Remarkable how quickly this thread degenerated from a light-hearted jokey thread into a well-balanced (ish) discussion thread.

Stayed on topic but went really clever. I couldn't really follow it. Apart from the bit that mentioned me. I liked that bit. But then it went all serious again.


Of course if I was smarter I would join in the discussion and back up Mr NYC on many of his fine and well written points. But i'm not. so i can't.

Instead I shall go greet newbies in the intros section.

*wanders off*


"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

Delete

NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Written by: spritie

I'm agreeing with you, NYC. Did I make it seem like I wasn't? confused



Nope. biggrin

And Xopher, I have read and got quite a bit out of "Meyers Briggs" temperment discussions. I was just chatting about this with Cassandra.

I'd feel more comfortable talking about how introverts and extroverts are different or thinkers vs sensers in relationships... But not Men vs. women.

Mostly because I don't think most male/female generalizations hold very well on an individual basis.

I'm not explaining myself well. Way too tired.

Basically, I think when people put too much stock in the fact that 'men and women are different' it becomes a cop out. I OBVOUSLY believe that they are different. But I think addressing the individual differences is much more effective than addressing the generalizations.

Yup... too tired to articulate.

Off to bed.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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wingrd


wingrd

Member
Location: Northampton,UK

Total posts: 18
Posted:and loads of other words that end in "ible"

.... AH 4 posts to late thus totally out of context, smeg!

EDITED_BY: wingrd (1100183720)


D

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:After carefully considering all of your comments, I have only this to say:

Ciliated Pseudostratified Columnar Epithelium.

Thank you. That is all.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

Delete

native
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

native

sleeping with angels
Location: anaheim CA usa

Total posts: 508
Posted:MUCKIEHA BEGANS BLUGINING HIMSELF IN HEAD WITH LARGE HAMMER.
hopping to make himself smarter


SLEEP WITH ANGELS muckieha

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(_..:::N!NTENDO BO!:::.._)


(_..:::N!NTENDO BO!:::.._)

newbie


Total posts: 17
Posted:hes right all of that is right and number 19 and 21 be shure to not do those cuz it can happen for number 19 and it gets us mad for number 21

!!!WheN PeOplE StArT HaTiNg ThAts WheN YoU KnOw YoU MaDe It!!!

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native
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

native

sleeping with angels
Location: anaheim CA usa

Total posts: 508
Posted:nitnedo you stole my realy old avatar ubblol

SLEEP WITH ANGELS muckieha

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Vixen
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Vixen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Oxfordshire/Wiltshire, United ...

Total posts: 3276
Posted:U mean to tell me that somewhere out there is actually a right guy for me???

Maybe i should hold auditions??? Any takers? xxx


tHeReS gOoD aNd EvIl iN EaCh InDiViDuAl fIrE, iDeNtIfIeS nEeDs AnD fEeDs OuR dEsIrEs.

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Frulein


Frulein

Fireotographer on Hiatus
Location: Cork, Ireland

Total posts: 284
Posted:I have to admit I never saw that toilet seat problem from that side.... ubblol

"I see," said the blind man.

Delete

ado-p
GOLD Member since May 2004

ado-p

Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland

Total posts: 3882
Posted:I say look at the people who make it work and listen to them.

Love is the law.

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Written by: Vixen

U mean to tell me that somewhere out there is actually a right guy for me???

Maybe i should hold auditions??? Any takers? xxx



even though this is just a shamless plug for vixen ego stroking, I am afriad that I will in fact have to admit that I am interested in auditioning. when are they?


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Delete

vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Written by: Frulein

I have to admit I never saw that toilet seat problem from that side.... ubblol



your kidding! see - this is what I mean about communication and men and women coming from two different cultures!!!

wink


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Delete

Vixen
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Vixen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Oxfordshire/Wiltshire, United ...

Total posts: 3276
Posted:No... i dont expect ego stroking... to much ass kissing makes me run away! xxx

tHeReS gOoD aNd EvIl iN EaCh InDiViDuAl fIrE, iDeNtIfIeS nEeDs AnD fEeDs OuR dEsIrEs.

Delete

ben-ja-men
GOLD Member since Jun 2003

ben-ja-men

just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide, Australia

Total posts: 2474
Posted:make sure she dresses up as a firewoman while u audition ........... for motivation wink

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?

Delete

ado-p
GOLD Member since May 2004

ado-p

Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland

Total posts: 3882
Posted:Written by: vanize

Written by: Frulein

I have to admit I never saw that toilet seat problem from that side.... ubblol



your kidding! see - this is what I mean about communication and men and women coming from two different cultures!!!

wink



Its true, i've lived with her for about a year and she's never mentioned it.

I never even thought about it.

We've got a kiwi girl in the house thats the same.


Love is the law.

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