public introspection

Today I have mostly been considering whether or not I want to keep visiting this site.

I used to love coming here and would spent great lengths of time trawling through the pages looking for interesting things to do and people that looked lost that I could try to help out. I liked the fact that people seemed to genuinely like me and paid attention to things that I said. I loved the fact that people seemed to actually enjoy my sense of humour and general style of aimless banter.

Plus I liked to try and help out the site by looking out for potential troublemakers and/or HoPpers who were in need of help from senior members of the HoP team. And pointing people in the right direction.

I was always under the impression that Malcolm and the mods were happy about me doing this (as they often sent me encouraging emails to that end).

But it seems I was misguided in this belief as a senior member of the admin team chastised me the other night for doing just that.

This makes me reluctant to try and help now. I don’t want to upset any one obviously. I just always thought I was helping…

And it’s little things like that that started me thinking that I maybe don’t want to post on here anymore.

There’s a lot more reasons than that but I don’t want to upset individual people (why should anyone but me be p!ssed off – wouldn’t be very fair now would it)

Suffice to say that it’s a whole load of little things that, I guess, shouldn’t bother me. But just lately they do.

The really annoying thing is that I know who’s going to reply to this thread and what they’re going to say. [I]And I also know who’s going to refrain from posting because I of what I’ve just written in this paragraph.[/I]

I think I’m just tired/lonely/grumpy/etc

Feel free to ignore me. I would if it were you posting this tongue

Cantus J Fraggle

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